clear road dust

On the tenth day of search and rescue, there was no progress.

Lu Qingchen seemed to have completely disappeared from this world.

In today's society with transparent and advanced information, if a person disappears completely, the result seems to be only one possibility.

But Shen Junhuai didn't believe in this possibility.

He still rushes to the search site every day, searching for every possible place where Lu Qingchen may go, not letting go of any possibility.He didn't want to listen to any rational analysis, and he didn't want to discuss the chance of Lu Qingchen surviving with others. He firmly believed that as long as he looked for it, Lu Qingchen would be able to come back.

Sometimes he thought, even if he kept searching like this, there was still hope.

He collected the images of Lu Qingchen that last appeared in the surveillance video, those who got on the bus, those who entered the seaside park, and watched them over and over again, hoping to find clues, and sometimes even wished he could get in and catch the people in the video come out.

After a few days, although his spirit was already teetering on the edge of the cliff, he was still holding on with a lot of strength.

What really pushed him off the cliff was a video.

On this day, Zhan Yue brought some personal belongings left by Lu Qingchen in the painting club.

"It's better to leave these for you to keep." He handed a file bag to Shen Junhuai, and looked at the man in front of him, his relaxed appearance was completely different from before.This once omnipotent man is equally powerless in the face of life and death.

The two sat facing each other, Shen Junhuai said after a long time: "Thank you."

Zhan Yue was silent, thinking of Lu Qingchen's eyes looking back at him standing on Broken Arm Cliff, like a huge stone stuck in his heart.

"I have a video of Xiaolu. Although it's not a good thing, he left it anyway." Zhan Yue said, "I wanted to apologize to him at dinner that day, but he didn't want to mention it, so forget it."

Shen Junhuai raised his head, and there was some reaction on his dead face.Seeing that he was completely ignorant, Zhan Yue gave him a rough overview of what happened that day, and finally sent him the video he asked for from the boss of Xinghepan.

Shen Junhuai stared at the phone, did not turn on the video, and did not speak again.

He was absent-minded until Zhan Yue bid farewell to him and left.

Shen Junhuai returned to the study, closed the door, and looked at the cell phone thrown on the table, like looking at a piece of hot potato.He tidied up the documents sent by Zhan Yue first, then he was busy all over again, but he still didn't dare to open the video.

I don't have fond memories of that day.

But when a person makes a mistake, he must face it.

Even though he had made enough mental preparations, when he saw the person in the video stumbling out with his hands covered in blood, he still felt his breath suddenly stop.If he hadn't met Xiao Mo by chance, with Fang He's character, he would definitely lead him away in broad daylight.At that time, his car had not yet reached the intersection.

He sat slumped in the brown-black sofa chair, like a behemoth struggling and hopeless after being defeated, he uttered his final mournful cry.

What did he do after that?Leaving Lu Qingchen alone at home and not returning all night, he almost beat him to death when he finally returned home.

Some details that had been deliberately avoided were extremely clear, tearing his heart hard.

For example, Lu Qingchen's bandaged hand, the wound on the corner of his mouth, and the bruise on his back, Dr. Lin said it was an old injury.

He added new injuries to it.

He had a splitting headache, his mental bridge completely collapsed, and the dull pain of loss was full of stamina. The back of Lu Qingchen who left at the end tore his every nerve, killing him alive.

Ever since Lu Qingchen disappeared, Shen Junhuai had always had a question in his heart. The matter was resolved, he apologized, and the future was planned, but after everything was properly finished, why did he leave without nostalgia?

There is never only one reason, they have been wrong for too long on the way to hold hands.

Xiao Mo came here the day after Lu Qingchen disappeared, and punched Shen Junhuai twice, but he didn't fight back and let the other party hit him. "You have too many things, but he only has you. It would be nice for a person like you not to trample on other people's sincerity, how could you know how to cherish it?" Xiao Mo left after leaving these words.

He finally realized belatedly that Fang Du and his ilk were never real executioners.It was Shen Junhuai himself who forced Lu Qingchen to death.

Fang Du has already "put down", now, it's his turn to taste the evil results.

All of Shen Junhuai's work was suspended, and Su Changxian was devastated to take care of his aftermath.

As for how long the work would be suspended, Su Changxian thought that he would not resume work if he could not find Lu Qingchen.

Two months later, still no news.

Even Shen's father called to inquire, but Shen Junhuai was perfunctory in a few words.The Shen family is promoting a confidential project of the M country authorities, and the core content cannot be faked by others.It was originally planned that as soon as the Pingzhou side was over, Shen Junhuai would have to go back to manage the core project team and start a speaking tour at the same time.

The speaking tour can be postponed, but the project cannot be postponed.Su Changxian persuaded him several times, but Shen Junhuai was unmoved.

Ever since Zhan Yue came that day, Shen Junhuai seemed to have become what he was before: calm, self-possessed, methodical.No one knew that he had reached his limit. He slept in the living room every night, and any slight movement could wake him up. He hoped that Lu Qingchen could see himself when he came back, knowing that he had been waiting.He was checking all kinds of information all the time, and he didn't eat any food, but he smoked more and more fiercely.As long as there is any relevant news, no matter whether it is good or bad, even if it is obviously false news, he will go there himself, and he will not rest assured until he confirms it with his own eyes.

In the past two months, he has been to homeless gathering places, open-air parks, shanty towns, shelters, hospital mortuaries, crematoriums, and even police stations to identify dead bodies, sometimes with fear and panic, and then Go back with joy, sometimes go with hope and expectation, and then go back with disappointment.He has exhausted all the words used to describe emotions in this month.

He still remembered the time when Chen Ying informed him to go to the police station to identify the corpse. It was a corpse soaked in sea water, lying there quietly, covered with a white cloth.He stood in front of the corpse, his raised hand was heavy, and he couldn't tear off the white cloth even after pulling it a few times.Chen Ying has been patiently with him, without urging or speaking.He stood for 10 minutes before he gritted his teeth and removed the white cloth.

It wasn't Lu Qingchen.

The corpse was swollen and ugly, but he immediately recognized that it was not Lu Qingchen.

At that moment, the heavy pressure was instantly lifted, and he rushed to the bathroom crying and laughing, throwing up a mess.

It turns out that people really vomit physiologically under heavy pressure. It turns out that Lu Qingchen's previous vomiting was like this.

Having experienced several of the worst reconciliation incidents, he firmly believes that no news is the best news.He has formulated several tracing paths, and through special channels, he has enabled black technologies such as pop-up windows with precise geographical locations on the Internet and AI face recognition to find people. At the same time, he entrusted international private inquiry agencies to search for people across the country.There is no time limit and no cost limit until someone is found.

However, even if Lu Qingchen is still alive, once a person without identity information disappears on purpose, it will be like finding a needle in a haystack.

Before Lu Qingchen could find him, Mr. Shen did.

In the video call, the eldest grandson, who was sitting upright and calm on the surface, was seen through by the old man at a glance.

"You are in this position, the price is the responsibility. You can do other things as you like, but the project can't be delayed any longer." The old man sighed, "Jun Huai, you can be sad, but you can't sink..."

"I'm sorry, Grandpa...I'll take care of it." Faced with Mr. Shen who hadn't asked about Shen's family affairs for more than ten years, Shen Junhuai felt guilty.He grew up beside his grandfather since he was a child, and his manner and style of conduct are completely inherited from Mr. Shen. In the future, the entire Shen family will also be handed over to him.

"I heard Xiaoyun talk about this child. He is a painter. He is very gentle and treats you very well. But, I thought..." Mr. Shen didn't say the rest of the sentence. He knew his grandson well. Originally, I thought that Shen Junhuai didn't care much. I originally thought that this was just a relationship to pass the loneliness while working in the country. When I come and go, it depends on Shen Junhuai's own wishes and mood.

Of course Shen Junhuai understood.

"I thought so too." Shen Junhuai's voice was hoarse, and he lowered his head and sneered. The calmness he had maintained outside for the past few days was like a gap in a frozen lake in winter, and then completely shattered. The grievances and fragility hidden at the bottom of the lake.

"So I was wrong," he said.

This relationship is not a two-way relationship. From the beginning of being happy and doing whatever he wants, to the middle feeling that it is still suitable for muddling along, and then to the later tragic experience and uncontrollable consequences, he has unknowingly sunk deep into it without knowing it.He walked forward without any scruples. For a long time, he turned a blind eye to his lover's staggering steps, because he knew that the other party would not give up even if he was bruised all over his body.

Injustice and negligence abound.

When he knew that he had to wait for the other party, he turned around and found that the person who had been following him was completely disappointed, and left him resolutely on an inconspicuous fork in the road, and could not find a trace of it. The man's shadow.

Only then did I realize that since then, the sun, the moon, and the stars have drifted thousands of miles away. Without him, everything has no meaning.

Shen Junhuai calmed down, and made a promise to his grandfather and himself: "I will not let the Shen family leave, and I will definitely find him."

In the end, Shen Junhuai and the old man reached an agreement that he would stay in Pingzhou for another month, and then return to country M no matter what the result was, to preside over the start of the project.After the project reaches a plateau, he can come back periodically.The tracing plan that had been arranged before continued, and at the same time, Mr. Shen also entrusted several old friends with high positions in the country to help his grandson trace people through some special channels.

The night before leaving Pingzhou, Shen Junhuai drove alone to the seaside park where Lu Qingchen disappeared last.

When he walked past the surveillance camera at the door, he stopped and looked up at the small camera, which was the place where Lu Qingchen's figure was last recorded.Walking along the path, you can see the rocky beach not far away, where the search and rescue team searched and rescued and suspected that Lu Qingchen jumped into the sea from there.

Shen Junhuai only took a look at it from a distance on the day of the search and rescue, and refused to go forward.

He is a big believer in quantum mechanics, the idea that certain things become deterministic once you look at them.I am also afraid of Schrödinger's experiment, afraid that the man is like that cat, hesitating in the middle ground between death and life.I am even more afraid of Murphy's Law, resolutely do not think about any possible tragedy, and do not allow others to hesitate to speak.In the end, I continued to use the law of attraction to convince myself that as long as I kept thinking about that person living well in a certain place every day, then he must be living well.

Physics, psychology, philosophy, his mind is like a huge maze, and he can always find exactly what he wants to see and hear.

Seems pretty self-defeating, but it works.

In the past, he felt that as long as he didn't go to the reef beach, it didn't exist.If he doesn't go to the rocky beach, the probability of Lu Qingchen jumping from here is zero.

But tomorrow he's leaving, and he can't kid himself anymore.

The night is dark, and the reef lying in the dark is even more terrifying and unknown.

He walked towards the beach step by step on the slippery stones, and finally stood still on a high place, and he could see the roar of the waves under his feet when he lowered his head.He didn't know if Lu Qingchen had stood here before, or if he was sinking in bottomless despair like him at this moment.

There is no past, no future.

I can only whisper to the cold seabed.

what did you eat?Where do you sleep?Is it cold?Are you sick?Will you be afraid?

You must have suffered a lot these days, can you come back soon?

The house has not been handed over, it has been bought under your name, the combination lock has not been changed, the room is still furnished as it was, and your studio has prepared new paint.

Home is still there, can you come back soon?

I'm going back to country M tomorrow, just to deal with work, and I'll be back when I'm done. I'll wait for you at home, and I'll never leave you behind.

Qingchen, can you come back soon?