My Tang You

When the night covered the city, Tang You had the illusion that the body temperature of the typhoon had become very cold.

He hadn't closed his eyes properly for several days, his physical and psychological limits had been reached, and his limbs even began to tremble uncontrollably.

There was a boy who accompanied his girlfriend to see a pet doctor. He was bored. He observed him for a long time. He didn’t understand this man’s overreaction. One piece."

The girlfriend stood aside and kicked her boyfriend who had opened his mouth.

Tang You looked up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. The sudden change in expression made the boy shut up.

People's joys, sorrows, sorrows, and joys are not connected. What the boys don't understand is what the typhoon means to Tang You.

It is a cotton coat when it is cold, and it is a rope when you are drowning.It is the family members who give him love, and the children who need his care.

It is the sustenance of the spirit, and it is the existence that I want to keep with all my strength.

In the past, Tang You often thought, if nothing happened, he and Xu Qinchen were still together, falling in love and raising typhoons, that would be great.

Or, if what has happened can't be changed, and you can't let it go but you still feel hatred, then it would be good to give him a medicine so that he can completely forget about Xu Qinchen.In that case, even if he was injured, there will be a day when he can "heal".

But he knew in his heart that those ideas were naive and extravagant, and would never be realized.

He always loves to dream and expect everything.The extravagant hope is to clear up the past and regain possession, or to completely forget after being unable to turn around, to get out of the emotional quagmire, and to have a good night's sleep.

Now he doesn't expect anything, he just wants not to lose the typhoon.

The night was getting deeper, and the typhoon still didn't wake up.

Tang You stood beside it, as if being roasted on a fire. He could do nothing but talk to it: "It's getting dark, why are you still awake?"

The typhoon didn't respond.

Tang You had tasted the pain of the words "no response". When the pain was so severe, he hated and became afraid. Whether it was because he didn't want to respond because of subjective reasons or because he couldn't respond because of objective reasons, it was a signal to leave him.

He couldn't accept it, and almost begged: "You will definitely wake up, right?"

"Don't leave, okay..."

"typhoon……"

If God can hear the prayer and leak some hope from his fingers, this will probably be the most grateful day for Tang You in this year.

But there is no heaven, and there is no hope.

When the silent night goes away, the sun crawls into the house along all the gaps, and the noisy day rolls in. What the typhoon was like last night is still like it is now.

It did not wake up as Tang You wished.

It seemed to be retaliating against Tang You for refusing to fulfill his wish, preventing him from seeing Xu Qinchen.

The doctor checked it carefully. According to his many years of experience, this is the result of his best efforts. There is nothing he can do now. He can only sigh, "There is no hope, sorry."

Tang You stared blankly at the typhoon for a long time, found a big box, put a blanket on it, carefully packed the typhoon into it, then walked out of the pet hospital holding the box firmly.

If the normal lifespan of human beings is calculated according to [-] years, Tang You has only walked a little over a quarter of this road in life, and there should be a bright future waiting for him to run.But at this moment, he suddenly felt that the road was too long, so long that those who walked together separated from him in ways of life or death.

Looking back suddenly, there is no one left around.

He didn't feel such emotions as sadness at present, probably all emotions were exhausted last night, and there was only boundless emptiness in his chest at this moment.

He reached out to stop a taxi and took the typhoon away.

The street scene quickly retreated.

A song was playing in the car - "Heating".

"On the way to the end of the world, the two of you kept falling into the bottomless abyss.

The clenched hands are still cold, until the end of the world is only us.

……

We hug to keep warm, we cuddle to survive.

Even in the vast sea of ​​people, it will sink. "(Note ①)

Tang You's soul was floating, and he said as if sleepwalking: "Master, change the song."

Just at a red light, the driver stepped on the brakes and said, "Oh, this is a nostalgic broadcast. I really like to listen to it. Anyway, it's almost over..."

He turned his head while talking, but saw that the passenger's face was abnormally pale, and he looked lost, so he changed his words and said, "Let me change the channel."

Tang You reflexively replied: "Thank you."

I don't know how long it took, but the car stopped at the destination.

Tang You paid the money and got out of the car with the box in his arms.

The typhoon in the box is very quiet, and you can't even see the ups and downs of breathing.Looking up, a person and a dog are walking towards you.

Man is a lovely girl.The dog is a strange creature with a body like a Chihuahua and a yellow excrement all over.

The shit-yellow legs were terribly short, so naturally it ran extremely slowly. It followed the tall slender girl in front of it with a gesture of doing its best.

The girl stopped, looked at Shi Huang, and then stretched out her hand in a gesture of shooting - Shi Huang flattened her ears and fell to the ground.

It's very cooperative, it looks like death, and it's also very funny.

Looking at this scene, Tang You thought of the wolf with a big tail when the typhoon was blowing, which made the corners of his mouth slightly twitch.

"We will also play this in the future. I shoot, you play dead. You are so smart, you will learn it soon."

"Tell me, okay?"

When I looked down at the typhoon, my smile froze, and there would never be such a day.

Tang You is like a machine that has been in disrepair for a long time, and his reactions in all aspects are abnormally slow. It was only then that he came back to realize what he had lost.

Only then did he understand why it was still so cold today after the cold spring had passed.

The girl not far away finally couldn't stand it anymore, picked up the shit yellow and hugged it into her arms, tapped its small nose, "I have to follow the road with short legs."

Short legs have to follow the road.

With such short legs, I still have to follow the road because I like her and want to follow her.

Tang You seemed to be poked at a pain point, and suddenly entered an inexplicable state, unable to breathe, shaking his body, almost unable to hold the box.

He thought, yes, the typhoon was also eager to follow Xu Qinchen, but it was his selfishness that cut off its hope.

Why can he only see that he needs Typhoon, but ignores that Typhoon needs Xu Qinchen?

And at the end of the typhoon, he was still thinking about taking it back to the dormitory.

Why still refuse to let it go home?Although it is too late.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't force it, I should have let you go earlier."

"Sorry, typhoon, sorry."

Almost relying on muscle memory, Tang You entered the string of numbers that he knew so well and tried to dial countless times but held back, waiting for the connection time, his fingertips trembling slightly.

After a few seconds, the other party refused to answer.

Tang You's heart suddenly tightened following the string of blind sounds, he paused, and edited a text message, saying who he was and the current situation of the typhoon.

A few minutes later, someone called him, but it was not Xu Qinchen, but Zhang Yadai.I don't know if Xu Qinchen is not in the country, or if he simply doesn't want to listen to Tang You's voice.

Tang You didn't remember when Zhang Yadai came, nor did she remember what Zhang Yadai said to him, but she only remembered that she took away the typhoon and he returned to the dormitory alone.

He seemed to have been crying for a long time, and swallowed the medicine he had forgotten to take in the past few days like a madman, crawled on the bed in a daze, and then fell into a coma.

Until midnight, Tang You woke up habitually and went to check the situation of the typhoon.

Probably because he took too much medicine and was in a state of delirium. He couldn't find the dog all over the house, so he went out to look for it again.

But where can he find it?Walking around outside without finding anything, he thought in confusion: where is the typhoon?Where did the typhoon go?

Tang You returned to the dormitory, turned on the computer, and planned to make a dog hunting notice.

If he was sober, he would find that the "Notice for Finding Dogs" was a mess, full of garbled characters, and no one could understand what was written on it.

When Tang You woke up the next day, he was lying in front of the laptop.

With a splitting headache, he tidied himself up and started to tidy up Typhoon's things.

Tang You doesn't have many things, but Typhoon has a lot of dog food, snacks, toys, etc.

He picked up a toy ball, squeezed it, and the toy ball made a "squeak" sound.Typhoon likes this toy ball very much. Every time he hears the sound of the ball, he will spin around excitedly.

But now there will never be such a dog who gets simple happiness because of this ball.

Tang You packed up everything about the typhoon and sealed it in a cardboard box.

Since then, everything has been silent.

×××

One month later, at the gate of Gate A, Zhou Quan looked at this prestigious school with a strong academic atmosphere, and took a deep breath.

After a year and a half, she finally came to Tang You.

Three months after Niannian's car accident, Zhouquan sent several text messages to Tang You, but did not receive a reply from Tang You.

What was she in then?She couldn't remember clearly either, she only knew that she might have hurt Tang You when she was in the hospital.

When Zhou Quan didn't remember this young man who appeared suddenly, he felt that Tang You was familiar with him for no reason, and that his desire to get close was probably due to the blood relationship between mother and child.

And when she remembered the past, to be honest, she both wanted to get closer and felt repulsed at the same time.

Does she hate Tang You?No, she just hated herself more than ten years ago, and Tang Xingzhi, who had ended his sinful life long ago.

She rejected Tang You, as if she just wanted to get rid of those nasty memories that were always with her.

That is the truest projection of her heart.

But after Niannian's car accident, that rejection was pulled to the extreme.

It seems that the days with Tang You by my side are always full of nightmares——

More than ten years ago, Tang Xingzhi cheated, had an illegitimate child, and killed a couple, causing her to have a nervous breakdown and hysteria every day.

More than ten years later, because of Tang You's appearance, there were car accidents every year, and his life and death were unknown.

Tang You is hooked up with nightmares, how can he be likable.

But as time goes by, Zhou Quan always thinks of Tang You's hand on her shoulder, and the words he said to her: "Because I need my mother every year."

She sometimes dreams of Tang You when she was a child.Tang You was very cute when he was a child. He could be so skinny when he did things every day, and he could be so sweet to his heart. How could she not miss him at all?

That feeling of repulsion slowly disappeared in the years of recovery and in the memories day after day.

Later, Zhou Quan finally made up his mind and called Tang You, but the number turned out to be empty.

Only then did she realize that she no longer knew anything about this son.And the number became empty, which seemed to indicate that Tang You understood her attitude and chose to cut off contact with her.

Zhou Quan knew that Tang You was in City A, but he knew nothing about the others.She asked someone to find out that Tang You was in University A, so she came here.

In fact, she didn't know what to say when they met, but her desire to see Tang You became stronger and stronger, so she came here.

She inquired at University A and learned that Tang You and his department were taking graduation photos that day. She looked for it and found that Tang You didn't attend.

Zhou Quan claimed to be Tang You's mother and wanted to get Tang You's new number from the counselor.

The counselor didn't believe it, and said to her: "Tang You has no relatives, and his parents are long gone. How can you be his mother?"

Zhou Quan was sad and embarrassed, the counselor saw that she looked so weak, she really didn't look like a liar, and she did look somewhat similar to Tang You, so she finally called Tang You and asked Tang You's opinion.

So, the mother and son made an appointment for a meal.

Tang You was wearing a very simple long-sleeved white T-shirt, and his hair was longer than when we met last time, and he became very thin, but he was smiling all over his face, making Zhou Quan feel better.

This time Tang You didn't come up and called Mom, but just said hello: "Long time no see."

Zhou Quan was suddenly at a loss, wanted to cry, her throat was choked with pain, she hastily pushed the menu in front of Tang You, and said, "You...you, what do you want to eat, you order first."

Tang You put the menu back in front of her and said, "I'm not picky about food, come here."

When the dishes were served, Zhou Quan said, "I'm sorry, I should have come last year because I..."

Tang You didn't think she should apologize, "It's okay, it's fine now."

They have been missing for so many years, and they don't know how to get along with each other anymore, so it's naturally a little embarrassing.

Zhou Quan: "I graduated from university in a flash, this is my mother... I gave you a red envelope, you take it. Just graduated, you need money everywhere."

Tang You didn't accept it, "I have it, and I can earn a lot."

Zhou Quan felt that he didn't forgive her if he didn't accept her, and his eyes slowly turned red, "You just graduated, how can you earn any money? Accept it, or I will feel uncomfortable."

Tang You explained: "I have been an intern for a long time, and I have savings."

Tang You was always smiling, this smile made Zhou Quan feel good at first, but it became more and more uncomfortable as it went on.

Zhou Quan found that Tang You had completely changed—in the past, Tang You was very eager to recognize her, but now he is very polite and can't make mistakes, but he no longer has the kind of intimacy with hope.

They chatted every year.

After all, Tang You was a piece of flesh that fell from her body. The more Zhou Quan looked at it, the more she regretted that she hadn't come earlier. She tried to get closer and asked, "Would you like... Come with me to see my sister?"

Tang You's hand paused slightly, "I won't go, I don't have time, I'm leaving City A next week, I'm a little busy."

Leaving City A?Zhou Quan asked in confusion, "Where are you going?"

Tang You didn't know what he thought of, his eyes wandered for a moment, and there was a trace of expectation, he said softly: "I plan to go to a far away place."

I don't know why, at this moment, Zhou Quan felt flustered for no reason, full of repulsion towards that "far away place".

She asked: "A place far away? Are you going abroad?"

Tang You was silent for a long time, then smiled at her, "Well, go abroad."

Zhou Quan was full of doubts, and just about to continue asking, Tang You added: "The company's assignment will probably take several years."

What kind of company would send a student who just graduated from university abroad for several years?Zhou Quan wanted to continue asking, but she couldn't.

She and Tang You seem to have been separated by time and the past.

Otherwise, why would Tang You stop calling her "Mom", and she would never be able to say "Youyou".

At the end of the day, Tang You sent Zhou Quan to the car and said to her, "Goodbye."

Zhou Quan suddenly burst into tears.

Tang You handed her a pack of tissues and said softly, "Don't cry."

Zhou Quan cried even harder. She wanted to hear Tang You call her mother, but she couldn't say it.

Frozen three feet, not a day's cold, unable to get close.

The car started slowly, and Zhou Quan looked at Tang You for a long time.

At first it was a little dumpling with pink make-up in his arms, later he was a cute little handsome guy, and now he has finally turned into an adult, but he can no longer see clearly through a layer of fog.

Tang You's figure became smaller and smaller, and finally disappeared in the bright sunshine of June.

However, Zhou Quan felt that from this moment on, this son really began to move away from her.She even had an illusion that she might never see him again.

She thought like a knife: What should I do?

At this time, I received a call from my daughter Niannian, who asked, "Mom, how long will it take for you to be home?"

Zhou Quan wiped away her tears, calmed down her emotions, and replied softly, "Mom will be home in more than an hour."

The little girl's voice in the receiver was sweet: "Then when mom comes back, can you bring me a piece of cake?"

The sadness in Zhou Quan's heart was slightly relieved, and the corners of his mouth subconsciously bent, "Okay, what flavor do you want?"

Happy every year, "I want the strawberry flavor, and the chocolate flavor is also fine, thank you mom!"

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The author has something to say:

Rewrite time: 21/10/23

Second revision: October 21, 10.

Note ①: The lyrics of Leslie Cheung's "Heating".