I'm nervous

"I want to say something." I have been staring at Duanmu for a long time. I was already ready to take off my pants, but this guy didn't respond at all. This friend is not qualified╭(╯＾╰)╮ Duanmu was silent for a long time, and finally spoke: "An Shuhe, you know that you are the emperor now, not a prince who can let you have fun."

"I know!" I am not stupid, of course I know that I am the emperor!Stand up!

"Then I dare to ask, do you have the slightest self-consciousness as an emperor." Duanmu's black-bellied voice lowered a little, and I got goosebumps when I heard it.

"Why not, of course I have the emperor's self-consciousness, don't you see that I call myself myself!"

I saw that Duanmu's dark face turned dark again.

"The emperor's self-consciousness I mean means that you have the style of an emperor, you should be punished severely, and you should be favored if you should be favored, instead of doing nonsense. You know that the people all over the world regard you as a model. You need to You have to be a good example for the people. Look at you today, if I don’t feel relieved to come and take a look, what will this court meeting look like! These bastards who don’t pay attention to you, if you kill them , you can gain prestige, are you afraid that someone will dare to despise you in the future!"

"I'm afraid..." Zhen said a word tremblingly, not unexpectedly seeing Duanmu's dark face turn dark again.

After listening for a long time, I finally understood that he was here to preach, and he was here to accuse me of what I did today.

Can I cry, I'm just an innocent time traveler, I won't be an emperor, please let me go!

However, Duanmu's black belly is still eloquently preaching, and I feel drowsy. I don't understand the important affairs of the country, and the etiquette of the gods, QAQ.

So, I came up with an excellent solution, to sleep with my eyes open!I don't want to be too smart.

I don't know how long it took, but after Duanmu's belly twisted my ears, I finally woke up and shouted: "Yes, sir!"

Duanmu's black-bellied face turned black again, this time turning into charcoal, ready to be thrown into the fire.

"An Shuhe, you are hopeless!"

boom!

Just slam the door and leave?Oh lol, the promised little black room sex has not started yet, biting the handkerchief.

.

In the next few days, Duanmu Heihei did not come to the court, nor did the officials who dozed off during the court meeting. I heard that Duan Duan was just sleeping late at home, but did they think they could sleep soundly? I don’t believe it. You don't eat, drink, or sleep, and sleep for five days and five nights to see if you can still wake up.

Duanmu has a dark belly and scolds me for messing around, don’t tell me this is my soft policy in disguise╭(╯＾╰)╮, whoever wants to sleep can go to sleep, I let you sleep enough, sleep until you don’t want to sleep, hum, hum snort!

But ah, Duanmu has a dark belly and can't come to court, I really miss him a little bit.When I look at the beautiful general, I feel that he is not beautiful anymore. When I look at the handsome prime minister, he is not handsome anymore. Why does the more I look at him, the more unattractive he looks? Sure enough, people have to compare, and they must be compared with the ugly duanmu black belly. Than, it looks beautiful and handsome!

Duanmu is not here, no one despises me.I'm in a very bad mood, I need to vent, but who can I find to vent, the general and the prime minister can't move, so let's use cannon fodder.

So, with a wave of my hand, I will punish corrupt officials!Grab one, kill it, grab a pair, kill it, grab one and kill the other, who dares to refuse to accept, come to fight, I——

Let Duanmu go! <(￣ˇ￣)/

I was very happy to catch a basket of corrupt officials. I decided to celebrate with the whole country and release...

What kind of fireworks will you set off and light a candle for me?Mamma Mia, I destroyed so many corrupt officials in a few days, and I will definitely be brought down by the assassins sent by those corrupt officials tonight→press it→take off→sleep→kill Σ(っ°Д°;)っ.

I can't sleep today, I walk up and down in the bedroom, I think I must find a backer tonight to take refuge for me.

But who do I have to turn to for this backing?

prime minister!The prime minister is so wise, he will definitely help me get rid of those assassins who want to have sex with me, yes, he is the only one.

No, no, the prime minister doesn't know martial arts, and he looks so aggressive. What if the assassin is fascinated by him and joins the group together? !

I withered.

Then the general, the general is so wise and mighty, he will definitely protect me under his wings. Once the assassin comes, he will clang, raise the knife, raise the buttocks, and take off his pants...

QAQ I'm wilting again.This general is a face. If the assassin takes a fancy to the general and wants to have sex with the general in front of me, so the two teams fall in love and kill each other, what should I do? Should I stay and watch, or should I stay? Stay and watch.

To choose and choose, can I only choose Duanmu with a black belly? Although Duanmu has a black belly that is invincible, he is not afraid of monsters, although Duanmu has a dark belly and is neurotic, he is not afraid of messing around, even though Duanmu has a black belly...

Don't worry, it's getting dark, and I'm going to flee!

The problem is, I was carrying a small satchel, looked at this blindingly golden dress, and then glanced at the crowd of guards outside, how could I leave the palace, what if there were assassins among the guards.

No, no, the most important thing is, I am a road idiot, I don't know the way to the palace!

I will definitely have someone give me a GPS navigation in the future.

At this critical moment, a person unexpectedly arrived.

"Prime Minister!" I jumped up, rushed over, and took his hand, "Comrade, you came at the right time, Communist Party. The Communist Party needs you the most."

The prime minister silently put my hand away, and he said: "Your Majesty, I have come to ask you for leave. I have something to do in my hometown, so I beg the emperor to let you go for a few days."

Tears were streaming down my face, and I grabbed him: "No, you can leave if you want, take me away!"

The prime minister seemed to be taken aback for a moment, then lowered his head and said, "Your Majesty, my humble minister's hometown is poor. I'm afraid it will be difficult for you to adapt to the body of a real dragon."

"Who said I'm going to go to some hometown with you, I'm going out of the palace!"

"Your Majesty, the chamber pot is under your dragon bed."

...I'm not talking about Chu Gong ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!

"In short, I want to leave this palace and go outside. It's too dangerous here."

"Your Majesty, please walk slowly and pay attention to safety."

Without saying a few words, the prime minister tacitly accepted that he was on vacation, and then he just left, left, left...

I just watched the prime minister leave heartlessly and unjustly, and I was messed up in the wind.

Communication failed, I have turned black to the prime minister and passers-by.

I walked back and forth in the bedroom with my chest folded again, not knowing how to get out of here. At this time, Savior No. [-] arrived!

Clang clang clang, the general is on the stage.

"My minister sees the emperor."

"Aiqing, get flat quickly." I rushed up and was about to help him up, but he avoided it.

I put my hands in the air, it was so embarrassing.

I can bear it.

"Aiqing is here tonight, what's the matter?" It might scare people just like before, so I decided to pretend to be coercive.

The general said respectfully: "I just heard what the prime minister said, Your Majesty, do you want to leave the palace?"

My eyes must have lit up, I couldn't hold back any longer, and as soon as I slapped the general, I said, "Yes, yes, please find a way to let me go out of the palace, it's so dangerous here!"

"Your majesty, please rest assured, I will swear to protect your safety." With a thud, the general knelt down on one knee, vowing.

I was so happy that I almost jumped up: "Then you are saying that you are going to send me out of the palace to the death?!"

"I swear to protect the Emperor's Junshu Palace to the death."

Well, it’s not that I can’t understand, the implication of this bastard is to guard this place to the death and not let me leave.

"You made me feel empty and lonely, do I need to go out of the palace!"

"I know."

He actually knew? !

So, after a while, the little eunuchs brought chamber pots of various styles.

"Your Majesty, please take care of yourself, I will temporarily retire."

QAQ I said that I am not out of respect, and I don't want to masturbate ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The general is gone, according to the rules of the palace, his authority is not here, so he can't stay here, and I don't know which funny guy asked him to come out to show off his IQ.

In the end, I decided to be self-reliant.

Seeing the moon getting bigger and bigger, I feel more and more scary.So, take off your clothes, change... change the wool, the clothes here are either golden or yellow, and when you go out, it's like telling people that the emperor loves to catch me.

I decided to steal clothes!

He called a little eunuch, knocked him out, changed his clothes, surreptitiously clutched his small satchel, and ran out.

No one stopped, very good, slip!

However, I lost my way, and I don't know how to get out of the palace.

He caught a young eunuch, squeezed his throat and shouted: "Zhen... I'm new here, I don't know the way, I beg the party to show the people the way."

The little eunuch was very honest, nodded, looked around, and sneaked into my ear and said——

"I do not know either."

"..."

Look at my bird-catching and dragon-claw hands, drink!

Dare to tease me, hum, hum!No more birds!

... However, it seems that the little eunuch has no birds.

.

After I fumbled here and there, I finally saw the light, which was what I had been waiting for for a long time——

toilet.

I can't hold back any longer. After wandering around for a long time, the birds are all wilted. I haven't seen the palace gate yet. I'm so sad.

Just as I was booing, I suddenly heard movement outside, drinking, lifting my pants, washing my hands, rushed out to have a look, and saw a bunch of people clanging, clanging, clanging, there was an assassin!

Mamma Mia, the palace is too dangerous and the world is not safe, so I want to go home.

Rush, for the way home, rush——

I followed the escaped assassin and rushed out, hey, let alone, following them, I found the gate of the palace.

I turned a few corners and saw that the assassin had gone far away, so I walked to the gate of the palace, and showed the token I had prepared to the guards, and was soon let go, and walked out of this place where I had been trapped for several years. prison.

But... It seems that when I heard the palace gate guard talking to me just now, he used "you"?

No, no, I must have heard wrong.

Hold your head high and hold your chest high, take out my small satchel, Duanmu has a black belly, I come to your... bed~＼(≧▽≦)／~啦啦啦.

I look left and right, look up and down, it turns out that every moon is not simple, I thought and thought, I guessed and guessed, the moon's mind is really strange, eh, come, come, come, come, come Come, come, come, oh, oh.

Be alert ahead, there are people!With a whoosh, I ran into the alley, pressed against the wall, and peeked out.

Please call my agent 007Σ（⊙▽⊙"a...

At this critical moment, I was suddenly slapped on the shoulder, no good, this is the rhythm of criminals who are about to slap me unconscious.

I quickly held my breath, held my breath again, and then, poof, fell to the ground, perfectly making the illusion of being stunned.

"I just slapped this person once, and I knocked him out! This, this... what should I do, I just asked him for a bite to eat."

"Hey, fool! Get out of here before anyone sees you."

"Okay, okay, go, go!"

Then, I heard the sound of two little kids running away...

I jumped up, pointed at the two escaped kids, and spat. As a professional beggar, shouldn’t I stun people and pay them again? It’s unqualified, bad review! (╯‵ ′)╯︵┻━┻I calmed down after jumping, looked at the little kid who left, and thought about it again, in a bustling place like the imperial city, there are still children who can’t eat enough or wear warm clothes , Looking for someone to beg for food, how decent it is, Duanmu has a black belly, how do you manage the country!

I got angry, and the consequences were very serious. I rushed out, put a child on each arm, and walked forward: "Go, I will take care of you."

Hey, what did I say.

These two children seem to be unwilling to meet strangers, they have been writhing around, trying to break free from my shackles. When I became upset, I explained: "Aren't you hungry and begging me for food? From now on, I will take care of you. Don’t be afraid of running out of food.”

Hum hum!Hmph... I can't hum, what did I see, I saw these two children holding a large pot of fragrant rice in their hands? !

"What kind of rice is this? Why is it red?" My curiosity was aroused, I sniffed it, it smelled so good, I was already full of the aroma before I even finished eating the rice.

"Oh, this is the red rice from our hometown. In order to recommend this rice to the local people, we went to the street to find someone to try it. If it is good, we can buy it in our store."

This is for advertising? "Who said that just now, I want something to eat!"

"Huh? Just now I said I wanted you to take a bite of the rice."

I want you to have a taste of rice... I want you to scoop up a mouthful of rice...

QAQ Who invented polyphonic characters? Don't make this kind of misleading thing?

I am very hurt internally. As the emperor, at this time, I should pick out people and beat them to eighty years old. But looking at these two children, they have round faces and round buttocks. That performance was beating a minor. According to the "Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of Minors", I will be punished, so I kindly—

Followed them to beg for a few bites of food.

Wow, it's so fragrant, it doesn't taste the same as what I eat.

"This is the red rice grown in our hometown in the south. It doesn't seem to be available in the north. I don't know if you are used to it. If you think it tastes good, welcome to our store to buy it."

Southern rice?I am confused, how to plant the rice in the south and the soil in the north.

"Where did the rice come from? There is no suitable soil to grow it here."

These two children were also cautious, looked at me and smiled, and didn't say much, as if they were afraid that I would pry their heads open and steal their brain cells.

Just kidding, I am a person from the high-tech era. I just knocked you out and forced a confession. What else is there to pry, so high-tech is so laborious.

I followed these two children to the rice store, and when I saw it, oh, I actually saw the signboard of this rice store——

Rice shop!

It's too low-key, luxurious and connotative. Everyone is X's rice shop, but this store only has the word rice shop. It's too low-key. I want to give you a thumbs up.

"My guest, do you want to buy rice?"

"Yes!" Such delicious rice, I want to pick it back and eat it slowly!

So, I picked up a big bag of rice and walked away leisurely. I looked back and smiled. The rice shop is an old-fashioned store. I want to patronize more tomorrow and write a golden signboard for them. I even thought about the name of the store, so Call--

A shop that sells rice!

There are two more words, and there is no such thing as tall and tall in an instant!

.

Picking up the rice, I continued to walk towards the legendary Prince Regent's Mansion where I don't know where it is. As a result, I walked, ouch, it smells so good, and the smell of powder is even more fragrant than Chanel. Sniff , sniff...

"Oh, Eunuch Jiang, you are here, let us wait."

Hey, hey, what's the matter with these women, why do they keep leaning on me, I warn you, don't mess around, I won't give you... Mi: "Walk, walk, walk around."

"Oh, you're still ashamed, you've come here several times, come here, come here, our Xiaocui has been waiting for you for a long time."

what rice?How many times have you been here, and Xiaocui?I actually had an affair with a woman in a brothel, when did it happen, why didn't I make it up!

No, no, I'm wearing the clothes of that little eunuch now, that is to say, these brothel women think of me as that little eunuch? ! (⊙A⊙) I seem to have discovered something by accident, the little eunuch came to prostitute.Prostitution!It's unreasonable to come to whoring behind my back.Prostitutes, I don't know the laws of my Great Heavenly Dynasty, the little eunuchs come out to prostitute.whore wants to...

Did you bring me to watch? ⊙▽⊙I am always curious about what the little eunuch is going to do OOXX, XXOO, could it be that he came (to be) picked chrysanthemums?

My interest was ignited, I rolled up my sleeves, and smiled along with the group of women, women, I haven't seen a woman for a long time, can I touch their... hair, it's so well maintained, just for asking Is it Rejoice or Sunsilk?

Under their tugging, I walked into this brothel called Yihong Courtyard. Oh go, the name is too vulgar. Whoever has no mood started it? If you don’t build a brothel, you should call it “Luohong Courtyard” What a connotative name!

I looked here and there, I didn't even see my hair clearly, but I saw a pair of big white breasts, well, they are too big, my hands are too small to grasp them, they are still as big as Duanmu's with a black belly, It’s only comfortable, and I’m not afraid to hide my face when I hold it, and I don’t have to make any effort to eat it, just chew it directly, unlike those big breasts, I have to suck it hard~~~~ I’m afraid to think carefully!

Wait, what am I thinking, bah bah bah, what am I thinking about him, what are you looking for, heh heh!

Hey, the guy on the left, at a 45-degree angle, above the straight line is so familiar, oh my god, if Cao Cao Cao Cao arrives, isn't that Duanmu with a black belly? What a coincidence, he was also picked up by a girl just like me?

According to my 5000-year-old etiquette tradition in Greater China, I am absolutely forced to say goodbye to him...

"Duanmu has a black belly, bye ヾ(￣▽￣) Bye~Bye~" I waved the small handkerchiefs I snatched from those girls, stood on tiptoe, raised my voice, and shouted upwards.

When I saw Duanmu's black belly, I turned my head, and when I saw me, my face changed from red, orange, yellow, green, blue, blue, and purple, which is more magical than a color palette.

Hurry away.

"Let's go."

"Ouch, father-in-law, you pushed it to my slave's chest."

Oh my god, I feel like I was stung by a scorpion, I quickly retracted, I am a patient with dense flesh, late stage!I can't see a lot of female flesh, so it makes sense that I don't have a maid by my side...

I was twisted and twisted and twisted by these women and sent to a small room!black!Room!

Bang, the door closed, everyone left, and I was the only one left.Is this going to send a woman to PALY with my little black house?Am I going to lose my virginity, am I going to oppress someone, no no no, actually I am more worried, will I be tough...

After a while, there was a knock on the door, which startled me so much that I almost screamed.

But I am still very vigilant. Based on my years of experience watching soapy dog ​​blood TV, the people who come to this place are not good people. You must be cautious, so I coughed lightly and did not speak.

The visitor was also very careful, and replied softly: "Is there a sun in the sky?"

Let me go, what kind of code is this? Is the person who invented this code funny? There is a sun in the sky, so what should I do? Do I have to hate someone on the ground?

"Eunuch Jiang, please open the door."

...Any random answer can be answered correctly.When I go back, I can force that Eunuch Jiang to change the password, at least it must be true to "there is JJ on the ground".

The door opened slowly. After careful consideration, I felt that those who could mix with my father-in-law were definitely not good ones. If I recognized me, I would be in trouble, so I threw myself on the ground, grabbed a lot of firewood ash, and threw it on my face. Put it on, and at this time, people just opened the door and came in.

"Eunuch Jiang, what are you doing?"

"Zhen...it's delicious. I'm eating ashes. This ashes are feminine." Zhen squeezed his throat and replied shrewdly.

"Eunuch Jiang, there seems to be something wrong with your voice, could it be..."

I replied wittily: "Didn't you see that I was eating, my voice was stuck."

"Ahem, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The man didn't say anything more, "Ah, I don't know if the father-in-law brought something?"

Did I hear it wrong? There seemed to be a bit of respect in this man's voice. It was strange. Who would be so respectful to a little eunuch whom I didn't even know? I decided to go and have a look. Damn, I was scared to death.

Don't come over here, it's scary to make the moon shine on your face!

After watching for a long time, I finally saw clearly what the other party looked like. It turned out to be an extremely small official. As for the official, I said that I could not be younger. I am very busy, so how could I remember.

Dare to love this guy, don't sleep at night, come out to hang out with the little eunuch, no wonder a little eunuch will come to Luohong Courtyard, it turns out that he is here to ask for a chrysanthemum.

I seem to have found a lot of love (⊙V⊙)

However, it seems that my brain has opened up again.

"Eunuch Jiang, I don't know what you brought out of the palace tonight, can you let me meet with you, don't worry, the agreed silver will not lose you."

... Are they buying and selling chrysanthemums privately! (#°Д°)