Confession

The first time Jiang Yang met Lin Xu was at a classmate's birthday party, but he couldn't remember which one, but when he walked in side by side with Guo Shule, everyone's eyes lit up.

At that time, Lin Xu was very famous in the university, his name often appeared on the commendation column, and he was often mentioned in the conversations of his classmates. He was handsome, rich, and talented, and he was a hot favorite.

Lin Xu is easy-going and has a good personality, but he is a bit shy. He always laughs off other people's jokes, and after drinking a few glasses of beer, he will slap his cheeks. His warm and handsome face is flushed, and he looks very attractive.

There were too many people at that time, Jiang Yang and Lin Xu didn't have a word to talk to each other, he held a glass of wine and laughed happily among his familiar friends, and because of his good personality, everyone was willing to be friends with him, surrounded by a bunch of people people.

At that time, Jiang Yang and Lin Xu were very close, only tens of meters away.But it was also very far apart, so far that no one looked at each other.

I had a great time that night, Jiang Yang got a little too drunk at the end, I don’t remember how he got back, but when I checked WeChat later, I found that there were a bunch of strangers added, and there was a message sent 5 minutes ago.

[X: Are you awake?Remember to take some hangover medicine]

Jiang Yang's mind went blank, and he had no impression of this person at all.

There are too many people who have added friends on WeChat but don't know who the other party is. He just pretended to be a friend he knew, and replied "thank you" out of politeness, and then there was no further comment.

A few days later, friends laughed and teased him while chatting: "Hey, Jiang Yang, did you apologize and compensate Lin Xu later?"

Jiang Yang was stunned, "What's wrong?"

"Ah? You forgot?" Xia Nan said, "You accidentally knocked over the glass that day, and you just sprayed Lin Xu's body with wine, and Guo Shule scolded you. Those are his new clothes, and that brand is from abroad. Trendy brand, a pair of short sleeves costs more than 2000. Tsk, really rich."

"I drank a little too much that night, and I don't remember it at all, why didn't you tell me earlier?" Jiang Yang frowned angrily, and quickly took out his phone, "It's over, won't others think that I deliberately forgot and didn't want to compensate? Damn, it's all your fault."

Xia Nan yelled: "You usually drink well, don't you! I didn't know that you were drunk that day, and you looked sober! You even said to go back and transfer the money, how did I know you!"

A few of their friends had dinner together. Jiang Yang searched around but couldn't find Lin Xu's WeChat account. He also forgot whether he added it or not. He asked, "Who has Lin Xu's phone number? I have to apologize to them, after all, Expensive clothes."

"I have, I sent it to you on WeChat." Another friend said, "But don't pay too much attention to it. Others have money, and one or two thousand is not a problem for him."

"Other people have money and the attitude I should give are two different things." Jiang Yang's voice was a little cold.

"..." The friend didn't speak, but curled his lips.

Jiang Yang took advantage of the lunch break and the other party should be free, so he stood in the corridor and called Lin Xu.

After a few rings, a clean and pleasant male voice came from the phone: "Hello? Hello."

Jiang Yang said, "Excuse me, is this Senior Lin Xu? I'm Jiang Yang."

The other end was silent for a few seconds, I couldn't even hear my breathing, and when I spoke again, my voice became softer, "Yes, is there... anything?"

"I'm sorry before, I drank too much that night and stained your new clothes," Jiang Yang said, "How much? Shall I pay you?"

"No...no need, it's just a piece of clothing," Lin Xu said kindly, his voice sounding a little tense, "It's not a big deal."

Jiang Yang smiled and said, "Come on, your dress is quite expensive. If I don't compensate you, I will feel uneasy. The senior should give me this wish."

Just now he searched on his mobile phone. The brand is a trendy brand that just came out abroad. It combines Chinese embroidery techniques. Every piece of clothing is embroidered by hand. Two thousand is still low, and some new styles are three From one thousand to five thousand.

Jiang Yang, a college student, can't afford that much money, but the clothes are too expensive, and his conscience will be condemned if he doesn't make some compensation.

"...I don't need the compensation money, it's just a piece of clothing to me." Lin Xu's tone was soft, and he didn't hate what he said, "If you really want to make compensation, why don't you... have a meal?"

Jiang Yang wondered if he felt wrong, and Lin Xu felt a little cautious when he asked.

He readily agreed, asked Lin Xu what he wanted to eat, and ordered a Thai restaurant.

Lin Xu was gentle and approachable, probably because it was the first time we ate together, he was a little embarrassed.

But Jiang Yang has a good personality, he can talk about all kinds of topics, after a meal, the atmosphere is very harmonious, and the humorous topics make Lin Xu laugh straight away, his dark round eyes are bright, especially transparent and energetic.

"Senior, do you want to add a WeChat?"

After the dinner, before leaving, Jiang Yang took out his mobile phone and asked out of habit.

He has more than 1000 people on WeChat, and adding WeChat has become an indispensable part of social networking. Some people add it as soon as they are added. They don’t chat once for hundreds of years, and even after a while, they can’t remember who the other party is.

Lin Xu pursed his lips and said, "You don't remember?"

Jiang Yang didn't understand: "Huh? What?"

Lin Xu took out his mobile phone and sent a message to a certain dialog box.

At the same time, Jiang Yang received a WeChat message named "X", which sent a smiley emoticon package.

"This is you," Jiang Yang said with a smile, "Sorry, there was no note before."

"Then make a note," Lin Xu's eyes flickered, "Lin Xu, 'Xu's color is bright and bright, and the light mist lowers the cage of the fragrant tree'."

He usually likes to read poems, and subconsciously said a line of poetry subconsciously. After finishing speaking, he realized that maybe Jiang Yang hadn't heard it before, and added a popular sentence, "The one below is the four o'clock water."

The corners of Jiang Yang's mouth curled up slightly, "Liu Yong's "Dou Baihua", I memorized a lot of poems during the college entrance examination before, and I have a little impression."

"En." Lin Xu's smile spread, and the cheerful background spread to the tip of his brows, adding bright brilliance to his soft outline.

"Then I'll go first, I have to go to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday at night." Jiang Yang took a taxi on the side of the road and waved to him, "Senior, see you later."

Lin Xu stood on the side of the road, watching Jiang Yang leave, his hand holding the phone was a little tighter, the anticipation and joy in his eyes mixed into a bright broken light.

But after that time, Jiang Yang and Lin Xu didn't have the opportunity to get along alone. Jiang Yang was too busy, with studies, part-time jobs and friends, and they had to attend three or four wine and dinners a week, so they had no chance to meet. is at the dinner table.

Both of them are very capable people in their respective fields. On this occasion, there are many people around, talking and laughing happily, talking about the past and the present. The biggest interaction is to meet eyes and then nod to each other.

Occasionally, they eat next to each other, and Jiang Yang will take the initiative to inquire about Lin Xu's current situation, just like treating every ordinary friend.

Jiang Yang is gay and has many people chasing after him. He is more sensitive to emotional matters. He noticed that Lin Xu looked at him a little differently. He could spot the clue from the corner of his eye, but every time they looked at each other, Lin Xu's eyes were pure. Clean, free from dust and no distracting thoughts, it looks obedient, as if Jiang Yang is suspicious.

For this reason, Jiang Yang felt that he was a little too sensitive. If he was not being chased by many people, everyone around him would like him. It is a good thing to have self-confidence, but if you lose your sense of proportion, you will become narcissistic.

Later, Lin Xu also got busy and was going to represent the school to participate in a national literary competition. The chances of Lin Xu to participate in the dinner party were greatly reduced. Although they were in the same school, they had different circles and different schedules, and it was rare for them to meet each other. And less.

Only once or twice, when Jiang Yang came out of class and passed by in the corridor, he caught a glimpse of Lin Xu who was endorsing the book under the magnolia tree.

It's in the midst of spring, the sun is not dry, the breeze blows the green branches, and the late cherry blossoms are in full bloom.

Lin Xu was wearing a clean white shirt and sitting on a bench with a stack of thick books next to him. Behind him, the fresh and elegant magnolia flowers were in full bloom, making the person sitting under the tree look very beautiful and clear.

The flowers fell on the bench, making this painting-like scene vivid. Lin Xu bathed in the sun, his hair was dyed light gold, and his figure was thin and straight, just like his name——Xu Ri Feng Geng.

"Hey, isn't that the talented Lin?" Han Binyu said, "I heard that next month he will participate in the competition, and he is still reading at the moment, which shows how difficult it is."

"It means that people value it, but it doesn't mean that you are not strong enough," Xia Nan said. "A person as outstanding as Lin Xu, do you need to worry about it?"

"I didn't worry about it, I just mentioned it in passing," Han Binyu asked seeing Jiang Yang looking into the distance, "What are you looking at?"

Jiang Yang withdrew his gaze, "It's nothing, I just think Senior Lin has a good personality, but he doesn't seem to want to make friends? He's always been a loner."

"Do you think everyone is as good at making friends as you?" Xia Nan scolded with a smile, "Doesn't Guo Shule have a good relationship with him? He is always inseparable. He is a great talent. You have to keep a sense of distance. If you are like you, it is too much." It's out of style."

Jiang Yang laughed, "Get out."

He, Xia Nan, and Han Binyu walked away side by side, discussing what to eat for lunch.

Lin Xu was still sitting quietly under the tree, the faint fragrance of the magnolia flower fell on his shoulders, the beautiful and quiet picture left a short ripple in Jiang Yang's mind, he didn't pay attention, but left a lingering fragrance.

To Jiang Yang, Lin Xu is just an excellent senior he knows, sometimes he is too good to feel out of place.So they just know each other. When they see Moments, they will give a thumbs up. When they meet, they can nod and smile, or eat and drink at the same table.

Jiang Yang felt that he was not from the same world, and he didn't think about further development, but only maintained the superficial relationship of a casual acquaintance, and it was a strange phone call a few months later that broke the deadlock.

At that time, it was a friend of Jiang Yang’s birthday. After dinner, more than ten or twenty boys went to KTV to sing,

Coincidentally, the private room was noisy and noisy, and everyone had to shout at the top of their voices, let alone hear the phone ringing.

At that time, Jiang Yang drank too much beer and was draining water in the toilet. The mobile phone in his pocket vibrated, and it was an unfamiliar number.

Usually when he sees an unfamiliar number, he usually blames it as a spam advertisement and hangs up directly, but that day he picked it up by accident.

As soon as the connection was made, a choked sob that could not be distinguished from the human voice came from the opposite side, and he called him with a thick nasal voice and broke down in tears: "Jiang Yang..."

Jiang Yang's heart trembled, most of his half-drunkness dissipated, and his nerves suddenly tensed up.

It was one o'clock in the morning, and this kind of distress call similar to an accident would feel like an alarm bell to anyone.

"I am." Jiang Yang said in a deep voice, "Who are you?"

The person on the other side didn't answer, crying heartbreakingly and distraughtly, "Why..."

He asked tremblingly, with strong despair in his words, "Why doesn't everyone believe me? Why doesn't everyone believe me?"

Jiang Yang stopped breathing, and his heart tightened inexplicably following his questioning. The other party's emotions were too strong, and every word he said was gritted his teeth and wept blood.

"I explained it, but they don't believe it, why don't they believe it?" The other party's voice was hoarse and nasal, "I went to see him today, my last friend...but he made me wait for a long time before he came back, he said I pestered him, saying that I gave him negative emotions, and that I was cowardly and dared not confess to the person I liked."

Jiang Yang frowned. Hearing the other party's nonsensical words, his first reaction was that he had made a wrong call, but he called him by his name at the beginning, so there should be no mistake.

And listen carefully, he should have heard this voice...

"I don't know what to do...Everyone is not listening to me, I have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, can someone save me...I really want someone to save me..." The other party stopped sobbing, His breathing was moist and rapid, and Jiang Yang felt a little uncomfortable listening to the heart-wrenching words.

Jiang Yang couldn't tell what it was like, he felt oppressed and suffocated for no reason, and searched for this strange and hoarse voice in his mind.

But the other party's emotions were too out of control, and he couldn't distinguish the details from the words and tones, so as to correspond to the Venerable Master.

"Jiang Yang..." The other party called him again with a painful weeping sound, "I like you, I like you so much..."

The confession came unexpectedly, Jiang Yang froze, his heart skipped a beat.

He has received countless confessions, but he has never been so at a loss like this time.

The four words "I like you" are no longer joy and longing, but have become heavy and sad, and even brought some discomfort in his heart, faint tingling of peripheral nerves, and depressed mood.

"Who are you?" Jiang Yang asked.

The other party didn't answer, and kept saying "I like you" repeatedly. The barren words were not as gorgeous as the one-tenth of the past confession objects. His language ability seemed to have declined, and the four words were said upside down, trembling. Weeping loudly like an abandoned little beast, while pouring out this feeling, it is also begging to be retained, eager to be taken in and responded to.

——Jiang Yang didn't know at the time that every sentence of "I like you" is actually "help me".

At that time, he didn't realize that this phone call lasted half an hour, and he listened without saying a word, until finally, the other party finally got tired of crying and said he was tired, gradually calmed down, no longer broke down and shouted excitedly.

At this moment, Jiang Yang tentatively asked, "Are you Lin Xu?"

The voice is a bit similar but not very similar. Lin Xu's voice has always been gentle and peaceful. Such a broken and painful tone does not appeal to him at all, but he can hear a little similarity.

"..." The other party was silent, and after a while, hung up the phone.

Jiang Yang looked stern, and immediately called back, but the other party had already turned off the phone.

With such an ambiguous and miserable confession in the middle of the night, no one would be willing to stop here abruptly.

Jiang Yang thought for a while, copied the number and searched in WeChat, but couldn't find it. He guessed that the other party should have set up a function that could not search by mobile phone number.

He immediately opened Lin Xu's dialog box and sent a message, but there was also no response.

He leaned against the wall and sighed, the fragmented voice of the other party echoed in his ears, it was really uncomfortable to hear, the originally happy mood was disturbed by the phone call, and instead depressed.

The matter was left alone, but it left a deep doubt in Jiang Yang's heart. He kept trying to contact Lin Xu, but Lin Xu seemed to have disappeared, and he was not found at school.

Not long after, he got the news that Lin Xu had dropped out of school.

The news was so sudden that no one could react.

Lin Xu is so outstanding, I heard that foreign schools have contacted him, wanting to lure him to study abroad as a graduate student. He has just won a lot of honors for the school, and his future is bright and bright. incomprehensible.

Everything happened too coincidentally, Jiang Yang had just received a crying confession call, and was suspecting that it was Lin Xu, Lin Xu dropped out of school and was nowhere to be traced.

Jiang Yang went to find Guo Shule, and Guo Shule's attitude was also very abnormal. He was an inseparable friend before, but now he doesn't know what to ask and doesn't mention anything. He also doesn't know Lin Xu's current situation and why he dropped out of school.

Jiang Yang didn't believe it, so he mobilized his friends to try to contact Lin Xu, but all failed.

The more he couldn't get in touch with Lin Xu, the more suspicious Jiang Yang felt.

That phone call planted a seed of doubt in Jiang Yang's heart, and Lin Xu's loss of contact allowed this seed to take root in his heart.

Jiang Yang really wanted to forget about it, but he couldn't. The desperate questioning and the sad and helpless confession on the phone stabbed Jiang Yang hard in his heart.

The more he suspected that it was Lin Xu, the more he couldn't connect him with what he looked like that night.

Lin Xu was so clear and bright, as bright as a star, and his smile was always bright and gentle, how could he become like that?

Jiang Yang desperately wanted an answer, wanted to prove that he heard correctly, and wanted to know why Lin Xu suddenly dropped out of school and disappeared.

What he didn't know was that he had to wait for five years.

Time is a good medicine to heal everything, it buffers doubts and curbs impulses, what happened that night seemed to turn into a dream, and sometimes Jiang Yang even wondered if it was his hallucination after drinking too much.

If Jiang Yang hadn't gone to the business hall early the next morning to print out the call records of last night, and he really had a call with that number for more than half an hour, he would really have believed it was a dream.

That phone bill has been kept in his room, and whenever he thinks about it, he will take it out to have a look, and then send another message "Are you there?" to the WeChat account that couldn't send messages five years ago.

The red dot exclamation mark was still returned to him.

Until the dinner in the "Chess Pieces" radio drama, the person who had disappeared for five years appeared in front of him like an exile.

Lin Xu in front of him became strange, cold and distant, with an obvious sense of depression and brokenness in his body.

But when they looked at each other, a faint light appeared in Lin Xu's dark eyes, just like when they met for the first time.

He said, "Senior, long time no see."

Turning around, the most famous "Xu Tian" in the literary circle turned out to be Lin Xu.

Jiang Yang approached and probed step by step patiently, searching for the truth five years ago.

That night, they went to the bar together. After the show, Jiang Yang went to pay the bill. After waiting for a long time, no one was found, so he went to the toilet to look for it.

Then he saw Lin Xu who was rotting into the mud, resisting, panicking, utterly defeated by the stimulation, hiding in a corner, afraid of being touched by others, trembling, like a porcelain vase full of cracks, it would crack completely if touched with a little force.

At that moment, Jiang Yang's pupils constricted, and there was an obvious and clear pain in his heart.

That was the first time he wanted to protect someone so much.

Jiang Yang walked over slowly, hugged him in his arms, and wiped away Lin Xu's tears with his hand.

"Jiang Yang...Jiang Yang..." Lin Xu fell into a coma, sobbing softly.

Jiang Yang was stunned, the suspicion that had taken root in his heart five years ago finally cleared away the clouds and mists and blossomed at this moment, and the heavy, bitter whisper hit his soft flesh in the heart.

After more than 800 days and nights, Jiang Yang heard the helpless and dependent call again.