Confession

Lin Xu went to meet Zhao Xiwen with Jiang Yang's company. Lin Xu used to go alone, but this time he was accompanied by someone, so he was a little nervous and restless.

"What's wrong?" Jiang Yang drove the car and noticed that Lin Xu was staring at him and holding his hand.

The car belonged to Lin Xu, and his parents left him a large amount of property, including a car, a house, and a few cards.

Lin Xu usually doesn't like to drive, and rarely goes out. This time his depression relapsed, he doesn't want to be with other people, he can't even stand being in the same space with the driver, he will resist and tremble.

Jiang Yang coaxed him for a long time when he went out this time, but Lin Xu knew intellectually that he needed treatment, but he resisted psychologically. In the end, his rationality prevailed, he covered himself tightly, and followed Jiang Yang out.

"I'm... a little nervous." Lin Xu swallowed, looking at the traffic outside the window, the scene of Lele disappearing flashed through his mind from time to time, flustered, and his palms were sweating, "...Jiang Yang, you won't dislike me for my love No matter what I become, I won't..."

"Of course, why would I despise you?" Jiang Yang held Lin Xu's hand and kissed it on his lips, "Don't be nervous, I will accompany you, we will face it together if there is anything."

Lin Xu nodded, his breathing was still a little rough.

At the intersection of traffic lights, groups of cars stopped slowly, and pedestrians walked across the zebra crossing, occasionally one or two led dogs.

Lin Xu's breathing suddenly became faster, staring at the little VIP, the color faded from his face, and his body tensed up.

"Lin Xu, don't look." Jiang Yang forced Lin Xu's face to look at him with deep eyes, "Don't be afraid, it's all over, don't think about it. Huh?"

Lin Xu nodded flusteredly, rubbing his fingers, his eyes flushed.

Jiang Yang rubbed the ends of Lin Xu's eyes, leaned over and kissed her, "My dear, don't think about it."

Lin Xu squinted his eyes, feeling Jiang Yang's gentleness, the young man's voice and temperature brought him a sense of peace of mind.

"If you want in the future, we can also raise a dog." Jiang Yang said, "It belongs to us."

"...Forget it." Lin Xu shook his head, watching the little VIP walk away from the window, "A dog's lifespan is only more than ten years. No matter how you own it, you will eventually lose it."

When the green light came on, the car started slowly. The pomegranate flowers on both sides kept receding. Occasionally, one or two orange-red petals fell on the car cover and were knocked down to the ground by the wind.

"I won't." Jiang Yang said firmly, "I will always be with you."

Lin Xu turned his head to look at him, his eyes portrayed the three-dimensional and handsome profile of the young man, his perfect jaw line outlined his outline sharply, his lips were slightly pursed, revealing a bit of childish obsession.

The corners of Lin Xu's mouth were slightly bent, and the dark clouds in his heart were blown away, "Are you a dog?"

"I am." Jiang Yang replied straightforwardly, "It's just you, a dog."

·

When they arrived at the psychological consultation room, Zhao Xiwen was receiving other patients. The little assistant first took Lin Xu for a psychological evaluation, and then led them to the lounge for a while.

Lin Xu was very familiar with this place, as soon as he entered, he went to find a book in the bookcase, and sat on the sofa to read it.

Seeing that he was more relaxed here than at home, Jiang Yang asked, "Do you often come here?"

"It used to be, but not recently." Lin Xu couldn't do without Jiang Yang, and even relied on him for reading. "Doctor Zhao said that my condition is stable, and I don't need to come back anymore and I don't need to take medicine anymore. But occasionally when I feel uncomfortable I will still come to talk to him, and feel more comfortable."

In the past, he was worried that Jiang Yang would know this, and he could hide his psychological problems as long as he could hide them. Now that Jiang Yang has seen his bad and broken side, and he is willing to love him after fully understanding his various dark sides, naturally he will There is no need to hide it.

"Doctors are professionals after all." Jiang Yang stroked the broken hair on Lin Xu's temples, "If you feel uncomfortable in the future, tell me, and I will accompany you."

Lin Xu hummed lightly, with a soft nasal voice, "I thought you would tell you, you comforted me."

Jiang Yang said with a smile: "For this kind of professional matter, the doctor's role is naturally greater than mine."

"Who said that?" Lin Xu didn't even bother to read, and leaned against Jiang Yang's arms, "You are my medicine, and I can feel at ease only with you here."

"Am I so important?" Jiang Yang was pleased by Lin Xu's words, and he caressed his smooth arm with his palm, "Is it more useful than a doctor?"

Lin Xu hummed, raised his face and wanted to kiss.

The door of the lounge opened suddenly, and Zhao Xiwen walked in: "Sorry, it's been a long time..."

Before the words came out, he swallowed them back.

Zhao Xiwen saw the cold and lonely patient whom he had known for five years leaning in the arms of a handsome young man as if he had no bones. Had a relaxing time.

The kiss was interrupted, Lin Xu's body froze for a moment, he was a little uncomfortable facing Zhao Xiwen, his earlobes were hot, and his eyes were also dodging, obviously resisting getting along with outsiders.

Jiang Yang kept stroking Lin Xu's back to calm him down, smiled at Zhao Xiwen calmly, and greeted him, "Hello, Doctor Zhao."

Zhao Xiwen sat down on the single sofa on the other side, looked at Jiang Yang and smiled politely, "Let me guess, you should be Jiang Yang?"

Jiang Yang: "You know me?"

"I've heard your name a few times." Zhao Xiwen smiled, and didn't intend to go deep into it. He noticed Lin Xu's abnormality, "Are you going to chat today?"

Lin Xu nodded, his hand was held by Jiang Yang, and his fingers scratched Jiang Yang's palm uneasily, "Something happened recently...I...I feel very bad about myself."

Zhao Xiwen's voice is mellow, with a soothing power, "It's okay, you can talk about whatever you want, don't worry, talk slowly, drink some water first."

In psychological counseling, drinking water is actually a small means to distract the patient's attention. Sometimes when the patient loses control of his emotions and bursts into tears, drinking water is a very natural act. There will be some buffering.

After Zhao Xiwen came in, he could see Lin Xu's abnormality at a glance, and he could also keenly feel his anxiety and resistance in the face of outsiders. Let him drink saliva to relax and express his heart more easily.

The lemonade did ease some of Lin Xu's anxiety, he didn't speak immediately, he was thinking about what to say, when Jiang Yang asked, "Shall I avoid it first?"

Psychological counseling requires a quiet, independent, and private environment, and it is best not to have outsiders present, Jiang Yang knows very well.

Before Zhao Xiwen could open his mouth, Lin Xu held Jiang Yang's arm very nervously, "No, you can't go... I can't go without you... Don't go."

He looked at the young man expectantly, with unconscious dependence and pleading at the end.

Seeing this, Zhao Xiwen glanced at Jiang Yang, pushed his glasses, thoughtful.

"Can I stay?" Jiang Yang asked.

Zhao Xiwen said: "Since Lin Xu asked you to stay, it's better to stay with him. He is very anxious, and he will feel better with your company."

So Jiang Yang stayed, and in front of outsiders, they didn't have any overly intimate gestures, they just held hands and passed on each other's temperature and pulse.

Talking about this period of time undoubtedly made Lin Xu recall the heartache and collapse of Le Le dying in his arms.

Lin Xu's emotions couldn't be stabilized at all, and he began to tremble without saying a few words, his body was cold, and the suffocating heartache made him unable to cry, and he covered his face in pain and sobbed.

Regardless of the presence of outsiders, Jiang Yang hugged Lin Xu in his arms and comforted him silently.

Zhao Xiwen is a good listener. He patiently listened to Lin Xu's narration with chaotic thinking and upside-down sentences, and gave Lin Xu enough time to calm down before speaking.

"Lin Xu, I read your psychological evaluation report before I came in." Zhao Xiwen said gently and calmly, "I have regrettable news. Your depression has indeed relapsed."

Jiang Yang's eyes were dark, and he silently tightened Lin Xu's hand.

"I know," Lin Xu said with tears on his eyelashes, his eyes were flushed, and his voice was hoarse, "I am in such a state, how can I be considered a normal person."

Zhao Xiwen: "You have come to review several times after you stopped taking the drug, and you have always been fine, and since you told me that you met Jiang Yang, your condition has also been stable. I know you have deep feelings for Lele, but I I don’t think its departure will have such a big impact on you directly, and I don’t think it will directly relapse the depression you stimulated.”

Lin Xu's breathing stagnated for a moment, and he began to tear the paper in his hand restlessly.

"You haven't finished," Zhao Xiwen said, "You still have something to hide from me."

The paper towels that wiped the tears were wet and wrinkled, Lin Xu tore them into shreds and shards, and the pants were covered with confetti.

"You're avoiding." Zhao Xiwen is very good at talking, and doesn't give people a sharp feeling, "You don't want to face something, even if you don't want to say it, that's the root cause of your illness."

"No..." Lin Xu's nasal voice was very heavy, and there was a bit of trembling when he spoke, "No... there is no root cause, it is Lele... I am in pain because of Lele, I feel sorry for it, I caused it to die He...yes, it's me."

Zhao Xiwen didn't force him anymore, the patient had a knot in his heart, his job was to let Lin Xu open up his heart step by step, not to put more pressure on him.

They chatted about Lele for more than an hour. Lin Xu's mood was very unstable, and his speech was a bit incoherent.

Zhao Xiwen didn't intend to solve Lin Xu's knots all at once, but he thought that Lin Xu still needed some medicine in such an anxious state, and it couldn't be solved with a few simple psychological consultations.

"Did you suffer from insomnia this time?" Zhao Xiwen sat in front of the computer, flipping through the electronic medical records on the screen, "Do you feel palpitations?"

Lin Xu shook his head, "Not insomnia, lethargy."

Zhao Xiwen looked at him: "Drowsiness? How long did you sleep for?"

Lin Xu: "...I don't know, I'm just sleepy."

Jiang Yang answered: "It's been a little bit better these few days. Some time ago, I had to sleep for more than ten hours a day. Except for eating, I basically lay in bed and had no energy."

Zhao Xiwen nodded and typed on the computer.

On the way, Lin Xu went to the bathroom, and there were only Jiang Yang and Zhao Xiwen in the consultation room.

Jiang Yang was silent for a moment, and said, "There are other things that happened to him, do you need to know?"

"I need to know in order to prescribe the right medicine," Zhao Xiwen smiled, "but I hope Lin Xu will say it himself. It means something different to him."

Jiang Yang nodded: "Well, I understand."

"His lethargy, fear of seeing people, autism, and anxiety are all symptoms of being very disturbed and escaping from reality." Zhao Xiwen prescribed the medicine list, and the machine buzzed, "The more he escapes, the worse it is for his mental health. You Now that you know the inside story, you can try to mention it in front of him, discuss the solution, and guide him to come out."

"it is good."

"Accompany him more, take him for a walk around, and feel the breath of nature more," Zhao Xiwen said, "He is escaping, so changing to a new environment will make him relax."

Jiang Yang took the medicine list: "Okay, I will."

Lin Xu pushed the door open and walked in. He washed his face, and the red blood in his eyes faded a little. After the emotional burst, he returned to his alienated and indifferent look.

"I've told your boyfriend all the precautions," Zhao Xiwen said to Lin Xu, "Keep your body and mind happy. If you experience confusion like before and can't remember things again, remember to contact me in time. At that time, it's no longer a psychological problem. , but on the spiritual level, which needs to be controlled by taking medicine.”

Jiang Yang was a little surprised, looked at Lin Xu, and frowned slightly.

Lin Xu: "Okay, thank you."

After getting in the car, Jiang Yang asked, "What do you mean by having a confused memory and not being able to remember things?"

"It's been five years," Lin Xu said frankly. "The complication of the mental stimulation caused me to forget a lot of things, and some memories are also random. It's like before...you had a boyfriend in college, I remember it as You are a straight man, and you have a girlfriend. Later, I remembered that you are not bi/sexual..."

Jiang Yang's eyes gradually became sharper, with inquiry and doubts, he stared at Lin Xu's face closely, pursed his lips without saying a word.

Lin Xu was very disturbed by being looked at like this, especially because he couldn't understand the deep meaning in Jiang Yang's eyes, "What's wrong? Is there something wrong?"

"I'm just thinking," Jiang Yang said slowly, "Five years ago, did you forget about what you called me to cry and confess your love to me?"

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Here comes the antecedent