Confession

Jiang Yang was surprised, put down his phone and greeted him, "Are you awake? Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?"

He touched Lin Xu's face, lowered his head and kissed his lips, and unconsciously lowered his voice.

Lin Xu watched Jiang Yang's eyebrows and eyes quietly, raised his hand, and brushed the young man's roots and eyebrows with his fingertips.

"What's the matter?" Jiang Yang smiled, pinching his fingers and putting them to his lips, "Why don't you talk? Did you sleep stupidly?"

"...I'm hungry." Lin Xu's lips moved slightly, and he said softly, "I want to drink yogurt."

Jiang Yang was a little surprised. Lin Xu's condition has been very poor these days, he is listless and has a loss of appetite. Every time he has to hug the grinder for a long time before eating a little, and sometimes he will vomit after eating too much.

perm

This was the first time in the past few days that Lin Xu took the initiative to ask for something to eat, so Jiang Yang naturally wanted to be satisfied.

The night is dim, the moon is blocked by dark clouds from time to time, and the lights of thousands of families in the distance are dotted, which is a leisurely and peaceful world of fireworks.

Jiang Yang hugged Lin Xu and sat on the french window sill, the living room was not lit, the light outside the window was reflected on the ceiling, as the vehicles passed by, bright and dark, light and shadow intertwined.

Lele's kennel used to be on the edge of the French window sill, Lin Xu bit the straw and sucked yogurt in small sips, his chest was pressed against Jiang Yang's back, his eyes were staring at the distance, his eyes were distracted, he didn't know what he was thinking.

Jiang Yang opened his legs and let Lin Xu sit between his legs, looked down at his beautiful neck, helped him pinch his shoulders, rubbed his fingertips over the smooth skin, and passed the warmth from his hands.

"Yang Xiaoling came over while you were sleeping," Jiang Yang took the initiative to talk, "Seeing that you were sleeping again, he sat for a while and left."

Lin Xu didn't respond.

This sluggishness and silence is now his norm.

"You want to eat, what do you want to eat tomorrow? I'll buy it in advance," Jiang Yang circled the people and whispered in his ear, "Or should I learn how to cook?"

Lin Xu's eyes moved slightly, and he said slowly, "Then let's order takeaway."

"Ok?"

"You can't cook it well." Lin Xu stated the facts.

Jiang Yang pursed his lips, and said unwillingly: "How long has it been, do you want to remember it forever? I will try it myself when I cook now, and I won't be undercooked."

Lin Xu slightly turned his head to look at him, his gaze focused on Jiang Yang's resentful face, the corners of his mouth curled up, revealing a shallow smile.

Jiang Yang was stunned for a moment, this was the first time Lin Xu smiled in this period of time, his brows and eyes were gentle, as clear and beautiful as ever, and the sadness that could not be hidden in his eyes added to his fragile beauty.

"Can I trust you?" Lin Xu asked softly.

For some reason, Jiang Yang didn't feel relieved when he saw him smiling, but his heart ached like it was being pinched.

"Of course." Jiang Yang snorted and smiled, kissing Lin Xu's heartbreaking eyes, "I've improved now, and your boyfriend can satisfy you with anything. So what do you want to eat?"

Lin Xu swallowed the yogurt in his mouth, thought for a while, "Sweet and sour pork ribs."

"it is good."

"sour soup with beef."

"it is good."

"Buddha jumps over the wall."

"it is good."

Lin Xu was puzzled, "You know how to do it?"

Jiang Yang said confidently, "No."

"then you……"

"So let's order takeaway." Jiang Yang made this decision after expediency.

Lin Xu smiled again, this time the smile was deeper, and there was a long-lost gleam in his eyes.

Jiang Yang's eyes darkened, he lowered his head slowly, and kissed Lin Xu's lips.

Lin Xu was startled for a moment, then closed his eyes obediently, accepting this purely tender kiss.

Just rubbing against his lips, Jiang Yang's pity passed through this tender intimacy, he raised his hand to touch Lin Xu's cheek, slid it tenderly over his chin and the root of his ear, and then rubbed against his earlobe, Like holding a precious treasure, full of cherish and care.

Lin Xu's eyelashes trembled, his fingers curled up silently, and when he opened his eyes again, the water inside was evident.

Jiang Yang wiped away the wet traces at the end of Lin Xu's eyes, and said in a deep voice, "Don't cry, Xu Xu."

"I'm sorry, Jiang Yang..." Lin Xu fell into Jiang Yang's arms and took the initiative to wrap his arms around his neck, "Did I worry you?"

"Well, I'm very worried and distressed." Jiang Yang followed Lin Xu's back, "But you don't need to say sorry, you can be angry, sad, and lose your temper without scruples when you are wronged, and you can I will definitely ask for it for you."

Speaking of this, his eyes were full of strong and passionate affection, "No one can bully my lover, and I will not allow others to bully you."

Not a boyfriend, but a lover.

Lin Xu's nose was sour and he couldn't hold back his emotions. It was like spilling lemon juice. The strong astringency filled his taste buds, irritated his eyes red, and his tear glands were out of control. "Jiang Yang, I'm really sad, very sad. I I know that I shouldn't be trapped in Lele's death, but I can't get out. When I close my eyes, there are countless human voices in my ears. They are scolding me and asking me to die... Should I really go? Dead? My parents died because of me, so did Lele, and Xiaoling broke up because of me. I'm a useless person, why should I live?"

These days he locked himself in a cage, and endless fatigue enveloped him. In the cage, there was Lele, his parents, and Yang Xiaoling who used to be inseparable.

Reason knows it is false, but emotion cannot be separated.

He didn't know where he should go. Outside the cage were thousands of devil claws dripping with pus and blood, poking in through the gaps, trying to grab him to eat meat and drink blood, but the black spittle spewed at him and landed on the ground. Putrid and decaying petals sprout from the skin.

He hid in his parents' arms, hugged Lele, and pulled Yang Xiaoling to seek support.

What happened five years ago almost crushed him, but now it is making a comeback, and the shadow of death permeates his heart like poison.

Lin Xu was so tired, he thought to himself that it would be better to just let his body rot like this, and let sinful flowers bloom all over every inch of land.

Truth and justice have become insignificant. In this Internet society where three people become tigers and are firmly established, it is better not to argue than to say nothing. He wants to surrender and sink. happy.

But not right.

Lin Xu stared blankly at this "complete and happy" cage, and vaguely realized that something was wrong.

It was too icy and too cold, and the people in front of me were illusory, without a trace of warmth.

His parents and Yang Xiaoling were all smiling at him, but the smiles were stiff and alienated, not like a reunion after a long absence, more like a condescending mockery.

Laugh at his uselessness, at his weakness, at his cowardice.

——And most importantly, there is no Jiang Yang.

Lin Xu stepped back in a panic, eagerly looking for Jiang Yang's figure.

There is nothing in the cage, but there are horrifying ghost hands and a bloody river outside.

This is a hell where there is no sky, Jiang Yang will not be here, he has a strong rising sun, and belongs to the endless summer of long winds and flowers.

Lin Xu woke up from a nightmare. Compared with the death of his parents and the loss of Lele, the fear of Jiang Yang leaving him made his heart tremble even more. His heart was tightly bound by thorns, and every breath had a strong smell of iron, which lasted for a long time. Intense pain spread throughout the body along the blood, the knife cut the nerves, and the palpitations that were stronger than five years ago made him want to vomit.

He lost his parents, friends, and now Lele.

He can't live without Jiang Yang anymore... that would make him crazy.

"Jiang Yang...A lot of times I really want to die, I don't want to bear so much pressure to live, I really want to be done..." Lin Xu was sad and sad, looking at Jiang Yang with tears in his eyes, "But I think You just want to live... I'm sorry, I know it's unfair to you, I heard what you said just now, I'm sorry. I'm useless, right? I can't get out, I can barely survive by relying on you, but I really I can't live without you... cough cough cough!"

Tears and snot choked the intake pipe, he coughed in embarrassment, but as if he was afraid that Jiang Yang would disappear, he hugged the young man's neck tightly, and continued eagerly, panicked and helpless, "Don't leave me, okay... I know I am very bad now, I will see a psychiatrist, I will take medicine and treatment. I... I know you gave up a lot for me, I'm sorry Jiang Yang... I apologize, don't dislike me, I..."

Jiang Yang didn't let Lin Xu say the latter words, but blocked Lin Xu's lips heavily and ruthlessly, his breath was hot and trembling, he couldn't control his strength, and the blood spread on the lips of the two of them.

Lin Xu grunted in pain, tears came out of his eyes, even though it was painful, he tried his best to raise his head to meet Jiang Yang's bite.

"I won't dislike it, how could I dislike it." Jiang Yang's arm was firmly restraining Lin Xu's waist, the strength was heavy and ruthless, as if he wanted to crush the bone, his chin rested on Lin Xu's shoulder, choking and forbearance Said, "Lin Xu, you don't have to be so careful, I won't leave you, I will accompany you in treatment, we will take medicine well and gradually get better. It will be fine, everything will be fine."

"Hmm..." Lin Xu's vision was blurred, and the neon lights in the distance became dots of light, "Don't leave me, Jiang Yang... I really can't lose you anymore."

The next moment, Lin Xu froze suddenly, the hot touch on his shoulder seemed to be an illusion.

"Jiang Yang..." He struggled to raise his head, saw Jiang Yang's red and moist eyes, and the indescribable pain made him breathless.

Lin Xu panicked, and wiped Jiang Yang's tears clumsily and stiffly, "I'm sorry...Jiang Yang, don't cry...I'm sorry..."

He was clearly still crying, but he comforted Jiang Yang with a hoarse voice.

When you like someone, you want to see the other person's smile. When you love someone, you know that seeing the other person's tears is such a heart-wrenching thing.

Jiang Yang wiped Lin Xu's steady stream of tears and looked into his sad eyes, "Xu Xu, you didn't feel sorry for me, don't feel pressured, you are very important to me, more important than work. So no matter how many choices you have , the final answer must be you, and it can only be you."

"Xu Xu, don't cry." Jiang Yang kissed Lin Xu's sweaty temples, sighed and said affectionately, "You have me, so don't fall into it. You will be healthy and live a long life. We have many futures , I want to tell you many, many times I love you."

Lin Xu choked and looked at the man in front of him, unable to form a sentence: "You...what did you say?"

"I never thought that I would meet the so-called love at the age of 25, but it just happened. Unexpectedly, my whole heart was occupied by a person named Lin Xu."

"His smile makes me happy, and his tears make my heart ache. I want to love him and dedicate the rest of my life to him; I want to be tied to him for the rest of my life, whether poor or rich."

Jiang Yang kissed away the teardrops on Lin Xu's eyelashes, the salty taste spread on the tip of his tongue, and bit his bloodstained lips again, his low magnetic voice was full of pious and sincere affection——

"I love you, Lin Xu. I want to love you until the end of your life, forever."