Confession

The weather in summer is cloudy and cloudy, the morning is still sunny, now it is covered with dark clouds, scattered raindrops are falling, the wind is blowing like wolves howling, the dark sky is gloomy and depressing, the rainstorm is brewing in the sky, and the mountain rain is about to come.

After taking the medicine, Lele lost energy and slept quietly in the nest.

The people on the sofa sat and lay down, Jiang Yang stared down at Lin Xu's pale face, hugged him in his arms, and took his thin wrist with one hand and stroked it carefully.

Lin Xu was silent all the way, and when he came back, he talked intermittently about the matter with Yang Xiaoling, and now he fell asleep leaning against him, with his face buried in his chest, and his curled up sideways position exposed his insecure heart.

Jiang Yang's eyes were deep and black, like a deep lake, filled with complex emotions.

From the narration just now, he deduced that the incident with Yang Xiaoling should have happened in college, and if nothing else happened, it happened just before he dropped out of school.

But there are still many unexplained places, such as why he was in a bad state at the time?What happened after leaving Yang Xiaoling's house?

Back then, his suspension of school must not have been due to the death of his parents and quarrels with his friends. If it was just because of a dissatisfied quarrel after waiting all night, the relationship would not be broken for five years and cannot be repaired.

Jiang Yang opened Lin Xu's wrist, the long and thin scar had faded, and it was still very obvious on his fair wrist, which shows how horrible the wound was at that time.

"Boom——" the lightning suddenly broke the calm along with the thunder, and the soybean-sized raindrops fell, and soon the torrential rain invaded the city, and the natural water curtain cut off all the sounds from the outside world.

"Hmm..." Lin Xu was restless in his sleep, his breathing became short of breath, his eyes rolled, as if falling into a nightmare, he made a sticky nasal sound, and unconsciously clenched his fingers.

Jiang Yang hugged him even tighter, letting his face touch his heart, and the strong heartbeat was transmitted to Lin Xu through his chest. This primitive sense of security gained in the mother's womb gradually calmed him down, but The hand holding Jiang Yang did not relax any more.

Lin Xu's face was buried deep, and from Jiang Yang's condescending angle, he could only see his profile and the back of his snow-white neck.

Jiang Yang sighed silently, lightly rubbed against Lin Xu's scar with his fingertips, leaned over and kissed his neck, his slightly heavy breath sprayed on Lin Xu's skin, the smooth touch made him unable to open his mouth to lick/lick.

Lin Xu slept soundly, didn't feel any abnormality on his skin, instead he unconsciously put his arms around Jiang Yang's neck, bringing their bodies closer together.

Ever since that time in the bar, Jiang Yang discovered that Lin Xu's mental state was very fragile, and there was a sense of brokenness in his body, which made him dare not be too eager in this relationship.

In the past, when I was in a relationship, I went to bed as soon as the relationship was established. The young people are full of fire and passion. They are in their 20s. The desire to get close to the person they like is the strongest. I love you. As far as possible, only the lingering body can express love most directly.

But Jiang Yang didn't dare to offend Lin Xu rashly, and deliberately slowed down the pace of love, holding hands, hugging, kissing, and finally going to bed, wanting to give him a sense of security, throwing away passion, desire, and possession, it's a long-lasting relationship.

Lin Xu's coldness made Jiang Yang feel distressed, every time he saw the other party's uneasy and careful look, his heart was tightened.

Jiang Yang could sense Lin Xu's resistance to the "before". Once this topic was involved, he was in a particularly bad state, but now it was only the first day of their relationship, and Lin Xu told him about Yang Xiaoling. trust and dependence.

Jiang Yang's breath moved, and a soft kiss landed on Lin Xu's forehead, nose tip, cheek, and finally at the corner of his mouth.

He's been in love before, but he's never had the feeling of wanting to cherish each other like this. He can feel the fragility of Lin Xu's body and the hardness of walking through the wilderness alone.

Lin Xu is right, he is not a porcelain doll, he just needs someone to love him wholeheartedly.

It was raining heavily outside, and the house was quiet. Sleeping in this kind of weather would be particularly pleasant. Lin Xu listened to the sound of the rain, surrounded by Jiang Yang's breath, and slept better than ever.

He woke up leisurely, feeling his ears were itchy from being touched, and opened his eyes, the sleepiness in his eyes was obvious, and his eyes were blank and pure.

"Are you awake?" Jiang Yang's lips curled up slightly, pinching Lin Xu's small earlobes and rubbing them, "Did you wake up?"

"No, I slept soundly." Lin Xu smiled lightly, and leaned into Jiang Yang's arms, his cheek against the young man's chest, rubbing against him like a lazy kitten.

Jiang Yang was the first person besides Zhao Xiwen who made Lin Xu willing to talk about the past.

But their natures are different. Zhao Xiwen is a doctor, and if he doesn't talk about his condition, he will be fine. This kind of confession and catharsis is a little "forced" and "necessary".

But Jiang Yang is a lover, and this is because Lin Xu is willing to confide from the bottom of his heart. Jiang Yang takes him to the playground and vents the emotions accumulated in his heart. He is different from before, at least he takes the initiative to face the past.

Lin Xu didn't want Jiang Yang to see his embarrassing side, but Jiang Yang had the right to know his past, so he just had to hide some key content.

Talking about the past is a more intimate thing for Lin Xu than meeting each other honestly. He opened his own wound and took the initiative to reveal it, psychologically completely trusting this man whom he has loved for five years.

Jiang Yang smiled lowly, "It's still early, do you want to sleep a little longer?"

"What time is it?" Lin Xu asked lazily.

"05:30."

Lin Xu opened his eyes, "It's time to cook."

"Aren't you sleepy?"

Lin Xu sat up, turned his stiff neck, "I'm not so sleepy anymore, I agreed to cook for you."

He picked up the cup on the table and took a sip of water, then stood up and went to the kennel to see Lele's situation.

"Meals can be made at any time. We have a lot of time, and we are not in a hurry." Jiang Yang followed Lin Xu, knelt down and touched Lele's head, "I'll help you look after it. I didn't throw up this afternoon. When you fell asleep, I fed it some dog food, and it should be healed soon after taking another medicine."

Lin Xu was surprised, "Did you feed the dog food halfway? I didn't wake up?"

His sleep has always been poor, with light sleep for a long time. When the insomnia was the worst, he needed to take sleeping pills and tranquilizers every day to barely fall asleep.

Although Zhao Xiwen said that his condition was stable and all medicines were stopped, he still felt that he didn't sleep well and had dreams all night.

This was the first time he slept so deeply that he didn't even know that Jiang Yang was feeding Lele dog food.

"I haven't woken up, but I'm sound asleep." Jiang Yang pinched the back of Lin Xu's neck, "I'm still talking in my sleep."

This little act of intimacy made Lin Xu's heart itch, "Nonsense, I never talk in my sleep."

Jiang Yang laughed, "How do you know you won't tell? You don't know when you're asleep."

Lin Xu hesitated, "Did I really say that?"

"Of course," Jiang Yang said firmly, "Why should I lie to you?"

"Then what did I say?" Lin Xu looked up at the young man, stupefied just waking up, yawned, his eyes were moist, and his expression was innocent. Exudes a languid comfort.

Seeing this, Jiang Yang's Adam's apple rolled, obeying the desire in his heart, he leaned over and lightly pecked Lin Xu's lips, his voice was teasing, "Say you like me, you love me."

Lin Xu blinked, and felt that this really sounded like something he would say, but the next second he saw the smile in Jiang Yang's eyes, and realized that he was teasing him on purpose, his cheeks were stained red immediately, and he pushed him away angrily. Open, turned and entered the kitchen.

Jiang Yang's center of gravity was unstable, and he fell down on the floor, laughing heartily, and rubbed Lele's head, "Your master is angry, go and coax him."

Lele became more energetic, not as listless as in the morning, her eyes were round and alert.

"Go and coax it," Jiang Yang patted it, "otherwise I won't give you rations, and you will starve to death."

Lele probably understood, got up to grab the toy and ran to the kitchen.

Lin Xu was washing the vegetables, so he had no time to deal with it, so he could only let it go out.

Lele didn't listen, and even stood up and rushed to Lin Xu, insisting on letting him play with her.

Lin Xu was so troubled that he had to find a way out, and resignedly shouted: "Jiang Yang..."

"Hey! Here it is!" Jiang Yang stood at the door of the kitchen, as if he was waiting.

Lin Xu was helpless: "You take it out, or play with it."

"You can take it out, forget about playing." Jiang Yang walked over and took the collar around Lele's neck, and pulled it out, "I still have something to do."

The cold water flowed through Lin Xu's fingers, and he carefully cleaned the dirt from the vegetables, "What do you have..."

Before he finished asking, Lin Xu heard the kitchen door being closed, and he was hugged by the young man from behind.

Because of the difference in height and body shape, Jiang Yang's figure is bigger than Lin Xu's, tall and straight, able to completely cover Lin Xu, with his arms passing under his armpit, hugging Lin Xu gently and forcefully Xu's thin waist, then lowered his head and put his chin on Lin Xu's shoulder, calling softly: "Senior."

Lin Xu's ears were itchy, the young man's broad chest was pressed against his back, and the warm body temperature was transmitted through the thin fabric of the T-shirt. Lin Xu was very satisfied with this safe posture, and the action of washing vegetables followed slow down.

"Is this what you said was wrong?" Lin Xu leaned on the person behind him and asked.

"You cook for me, of course I can't just sit outside," Jiang Yang said, "I'll help you, is there anything I can help you with?"

Lin Xu smiled and said, "Are you sure you won't get more and more helpful?"

"...No one knows it at the beginning." Jiang Yang was not convinced, "You teach me, and my learning ability is also very strong."

"Really want to learn?"

"Of course, is it possible that I will let you cook in the future?" Speaking of this, Jiang Yang's voice changed slightly, "Although I like to see you wearing an apron, but..."

Lin Xu bumped Jiang Yang's head with his head, "Come on, go wash the onion and peel off the garlic. Are there any taboos?"

"There is no taboo!" Jiang Yang let go, and went to get something from the plastic bag, "I can eat anything, it's very easy to feed."

The smile in Lin Xu's eyes deepened as he chatted with Jiang Yang while preparing dinner.

He stays at home alone all year round, and rarely cooks. When Zhao Xiwen suggested that he learn to cook, it was just a way to make life more organized, to distract his attention, and to try to bring the mess back on track.

When he was in better condition, he would go into the kitchen, wash, chop, and stir-fry vegetables, from small stir-fries to complicated dishes, and sometimes he would bring some to Zhao Xiwen to taste after cooking.

But Zhao Xiwen never ate, but would praise Lin Xu's improvement in mental state, so that he could try some new things to vent his emotions.

Lin Xu didn't care whether Zhao Xiwen ate or not. To him, cooking was like taking medicine. It was just a prescription for his treatment. He brought a copy to Zhao Xiwen, which was more like homework given by a student to the teacher.

But today's meal was different, it was made for Jiang Yang, and Lin Xu devoted 100% of his experience and heart.

When the dishes were served on the table one after another, Jiang Yang's eyes lit up when he saw the aroma, color and fragrance, which was comparable to Lele who was smelling the smell under the table.

"Senior, you are really amazing," Jiang Yang praised without hesitation.

Lin Xu said that his skills were mediocre, so he really thought he was mediocre, but the result was completely unexpected.

Lin Xu took off his apron, sat down at the dining table, and was quite satisfied with the dishes, "Try it, how does it taste?"

Needless to say, Lin Xu, Jiang Yang couldn't wait to taste it.

The sea bass meat is tender and melts in the mouth; the okra is mixed with millet spicy salad, Lin Xu remembered that Jiang Yang likes to eat sour, so he specially added vinegar to make it sour and spicy, and added some lemon juice; stir-fried lotus root and pork ribs The soups are home-cooked and nothing special, but Jiang Yang tastes delicious.

"It's delicious, I like it very much." Jiang Yang took a mouthful of food and rice, his cheeks bulging, and said vaguely, "It seems that I will have good food in the future."

Seeing him like this, Lin Xu felt a sense of satisfaction in his heart, and took out a tissue for him, "No one will fight with you, eat slowly, and be careful of the injury on the corner of your mouth."

Jiang Yang was quite tall and had a big appetite. Maybe Lin Xu's cooking suited his taste, and he ate two bowls of rice in one sitting.

"Your appetite can be compared with Lele," Lin Xu said, "It had to eat two bowls of dog food before, but later it said that it was overweight, so the doctor asked me to lose weight for it."

Jiang Yang heard the implication, "I won't get fat, I'm not like it, eat and sleep, eat and sleep."

Speaking of this, Lin Xu reflected on it, "I really don't take it out for walks very often. I spend three days fishing and two days drying the net."

"It's okay, I can take it for a walk after get off work in the future," Jiang Yang said confidently, "Just leave this kind of task to me."

Lin Xu ate his food slowly, pondering over something in his mind. When he was in the hospital in the morning, a certain idea came up and clamored again.

"Jiang Yang." Lin Xu put down his chopsticks and stared at him.

"Huh? What's the matter?" Jiang Yang agreed, he was catching perch, and didn't meet Lin Xu's eyes.

Then he heard Lin Xu ask: "Should we live together?"