Confession

Jiang Yang pushed the shopping cart to pick something from the shelves full of items, Lin Xu stared at the colorful products in front of him in a daze for a moment.

He rarely came to the mall, and the last time he came seemed to be last year or the year before last.

In the past, he often came here with Yang Xiaoling. Yang Xiaoling liked to go shopping in shopping malls and supermarkets. He felt that the items for him to choose gave him the satisfaction of being in control of himself. Even if it was a roadside convenience store, he would drag Lin Xu around for a long time.

Later, their relationship broke down, and Lin Xu fell into a low ebb. Now that the Internet is so developed, if you order something you want, someone will deliver it, and there is no need to go out.

Lin Xu and Jiang Yang walked side by side, feeling like they hadn't seen it for a long time. He used to be with Yang Xiaoling like this. He was pushing the cart, and Yang Xiaoling was bouncing around and putting things in it. Tucao about how dissatisfied her new boyfriend is.

"Lin Xu?" Jiang Yang's voice interrupted his messy memories.

Lin Xu came back to his senses, looked at Jiang Yang's puzzled expression, "Huh?"

"Missed?" Jiang Yang curled his lips in dissatisfaction, "I've called you several times."

Lin Xu: "What's wrong?"

"I'm done shopping. Didn't you say you want to cook for me?" Jiang Yang went to hold Lin Xu's hand, "Let's go to the food section now, do you choose the ingredients?"

Jiang Yang's hands are wide and warm, and Lin Xu likes to be held by him very much. His palms touch each other, and he can feel the other person's body temperature. There is a feeling of being cherished and cared for in the tightly clenched palms.

Lin Xu glanced at the long aisle, one or two customers pushing shopping carts were concentrating on picking items, and no one looked in their direction.

He shook Jiang Yang's hand back vigorously, and the high body temperature of the other party warmed up his body which was blown by the air conditioner.

"Well, what do you want to eat?" Lin Xu asked.

"Cook me whatever I want?" Jiang Yang looked at him with anticipation in his eyes, "What if you don't know how?"

Lin Xu said seriously: "I can learn, I am very capable of learning."

Jiang Yang smiled, "As long as the seniors do it, I like it. Do you do what you are best at?"

"Then steamed sea bass, cold okra, stir-fried lotus root and pork rib soup..." Lin Xu hesitated, "I can cook home-cooked dishes, can you?"

He knew that Jiang Yang had many friends and often ate out. He was worried that he was used to delicacies from mountains and seas and would not be able to adapt to such common meals.

"Yes, why not?" Jiang Yang smiled helplessly, "We eat at home, of course, the simpler the better. Senior, do you misunderstand me? Do you think I am used to eating and drinking? "

"I'm definitely not as good as the cooks outside." Lin Xu picked out the ingredients and said hesitantly, "I think you don't have to expect too much. If you fail, then..."

"I'll finish it if I fail." Jiang Yang laughed, putting his arms on Lin Xu's shoulders, looking like two buddies who have a good relationship, "Have you ever heard a sentence? Want to catch one The heart of a person must first grasp the stomach. But whether you can grasp my stomach or not, my heart is with you, so no matter whether it is delicious or not, the important thing is what you do—"

He pressed against Lin Xu's ear, and a magnetic voice penetrated into his ear canal, both ambiguous and seductive: "My boyfriend made it for me."

"..." Lin Xu swallowed his saliva, his heart trembled, his face flushed, and he looked around in panic, "You..."

"Don't be afraid, Lin Xu." Jiang Yang saw his nervousness, straightened up and distanced himself, "We're dating openly, there's nothing shameful about it. Huh?"

Jiang Yang's attitude of asking for advice relieved Lin Xu's tense feeling, he couldn't tell whether it was palpitations or heartbeats, anyway it made his heartbeat not very stable.

Lin Xu raised his eyes to look at Jiang Yang, the young man's eyes were open and unrestrained, as if everything was not worth mentioning, and there was a kind of frivolity that would be covered up by soldiers.

Lin Xu smiled, feeling that he made a fuss out of a molehill, he was different from before, he was no longer alone after having a boyfriend, no matter what happened, Jiang Yang was with him.

It was only the first day of their relationship, but Lin Xu already relied on him psychologically.

Jiang Yang was picking cabbages next to the vegetable basket. He didn't know anything about them. After picking and picking for a while, he couldn't see the way, so he asked Lin Xu for help, "How does this look? Does it need to be fresher?"

Lin Xu smiled, "I don't know either, let's just make do with it, and think it's unlucky to meet something that's not new."

Jiang Yang stared, "I thought you understood it very well."

"Actually, I seldom cook, I just know how to do it." The smile on the corner of Lin Xu's mouth remained undiminished, and he put the cabbage in Jiang Yang's hand into the shopping cart, "So don't have too much hope, it's better than what you cook. It's delicious."

Jiang Yang groaned and thought something was wrong, "Did the noodles I cooked last time taste bad?"

"..." Lin Xu pushed the car forward, "No, it's fine."

"You're lying," Jiang Yang walked quickly in front of Lin Xu, stared into his eyes, and walked backwards, "Speak seriously, isn't it delicious?"

Lin Xu was not good at lying, but he couldn't face Jiang Yang's questioning, so he could only use an omnipotent smile to resolve the embarrassment.

Jiang Yang was discouraged, the big dog drooped its ears, and looked at Lin Xu pitifully, "Is it really unpalatable?"

Lin Xu's heart softened, and he subconsciously rubbed Jiang Yang's furry hair, "It's still delicious, it would be even better if it could be cooked."

Jiang Yang's eyes widened in surprise, "I didn't even cook the noodles?!"

"Uh..." Lin Xu smiled awkwardly, "No, it's just... um..."

For the first time, the writer Lin Da, who has a wonderful pen, feels that his words are poor. He writes about other people's love like a bamboo shoot, but he doesn't know anything about himself. He hesitates between "white lies" and "honesty to boyfriend".

Jiang Yang was angry: "Don't lie to me!"

……All right.

"The noodles are undercooked, there are egg shells inside the eggs, too much salt is very salty, and..."

Lin Xu stopped talking because he saw Jiang Yang's shocked and hurt expression.

"...You asked me to say it." Lin Xu muttered softly.

"It's so unpalatable, why didn't you say so?" Jiang Yang thought that Lin Xu had eaten a lot, and felt angry and distressed.

Lin Xu replied naturally: "It's your first time cooking, and you cooked it for me, how can I dislike it?"

"Then you can't let yourself suffer." Jiang Yang said, "You can change your temper of wronging yourself and helping others. You don't need to do this when facing your boyfriend."

Lin Xu smiled, "You weren't there back then."

"It is now!" Jiang Yang said confidently, "It will not be allowed in the future."

Lin Xu picked out a few ingredients, and couldn't help laughing: "I didn't realize you were so domineering before."

"Of course not for friends," Jiang Yang's eyes flashed with evil, and he quickly pecked Lin Xu's face by holding something.

He knew that Lin Xu didn't like being intimate outside, so he purposely blocked it with his arm to make a visual deviation, and then took all the time to prepare to see Lin Xu shy.

Sure enough, his thin-skinned boyfriend blushed immediately, from the ears to the neck, purely like a college student, he even forgot to react, and stared at him blankly.

Jiang Yang chuckled, he liked teasing Lin Xu very much, and said frivolously, "Baby, isn't the car you wrote in the novel wonderful? Why are you so shy just kissing the cheek now?"

Lin Xu felt that the skin rubbed by Jiang Yang's lips was extremely hot, and his shyness made him feel hot all over, and he couldn't hold the vegetables in his hand steadily, "You..."

"Xu Xu?!" A familiar and surprised voice sounded not far away.

Lin Xu was startled, the things in his hand fell into the basket, and he looked along the sound source, and saw Yang Xiaoling with a surprised face, beside him was a muscular man.

Yang Xiaoling walked over quickly, took Lin Xu's hand and said, "It's really you! Are you finally willing to come out for a walk?"

Lin Xu hummed, and withdrew his hand, his smile faded after Yang Xiaoling appeared, his soft and tender eyes became flat, and the feeling of shock had not subsided, and he subconsciously leaned against Jiang Yang.

"Are you out to buy food?" Yang Xiaoling glanced at the shopping cart, and his eyes fell on Jiang Yang, his handsome and tall appearance made his eyes shine, and his eyes wandered between the two of them ambiguously, "Xu Xu, let me introduce you? "

Normally, Jiang Yang would have taken the initiative to strike up a conversation to make the atmosphere more harmonious, but now he didn't. He looked at Lin Xu, looking forward to how he would be introduced.

"His name is Jiang Yang." Lin Xu said, "It's mine, boyfriend."

With the experience in the hospital, he spoke more smoothly this time, maybe his hand was held by Jiang Yang, which gave him a little more confidence.

Jiang Yang greeted Yang Xiaoling, "Hello."

"Jiang Yang...Jiang Yang..." Yang Xiaoling chanted his name and muttered, "Why do I think you look familiar? I seem to have heard the name before."

Hearing this, Jiang Yang thought about Yang Xiaoling's indistinguishable face in his mind, and suddenly he had a flash of inspiration, "You are the person I bumped into in the elevator last night? You came to celebrate Lin Xu's birthday last night? That's pretty cool." Coincidentally, I met you here today."

"Ah yes! That's right, it's you!" Yang Xiaoling's eyes lit up, "Yesterday I took a look at you. You are quite handsome, but your face is swollen like this. After the swelling subsides today, you are even more handsome than yesterday."

The man next to Yang Xiaoling coughed, as if he was dissatisfied with his praise of others.

Yang Xiaoling smiled, put his arms around the man's arm and introduced, "Xuxu, let me introduce you to my boyfriend. Fitness trainer, you can call him Amos."

Lin Xu nodded politely, "Hello."

Amos stretched out his hand and shook Lin Xu briefly, "Hello, I often hear Xiao Ling mentioning you, saying that you are his best friend."

Lin Xu didn't say a word.

Amos looked at Jiang Yang and chuckled, "Long time no see."

Both Lin Xu and Yang Xiaoling were taken aback.

"It's been a long time since I saw you," Jiang Yang said with emotion, "I didn't expect you to become a fitness instructor after resigning, and I will make an appointment for dinner next time."

Amos: "OK."

Yang Xiaoling: "Do you know each other?"

Lin Xu pursed his lips, looked at Jiang Yang, and waited for an explanation.

"A former colleague in the radio station," Amos said calmly, "I wanted to develop further, but he said he was not in love, and later found out that he had hit the mark."

Jiang Yang smiled, held Lin Xu's hand, showing off, "Now I'm looking for someone I want to date."

Amos raised his lips, "I wish you happiness."

Jiang Yang was very useful, "Yes."

"Xuxu, are you going home to cook?" Yang Xiaoling was visibly excited, "We've all met each other, why don't we have a meal together!"

"No need." Lin Xu's face was a little red, and he couldn't maintain a cold look after being provoked by Jiang Yang, but he still refused, "Let's talk about it next time, we have something to do later."

Yang Xiaoling took out the tracker of the mobile phone, "What's the matter? There is always time for a meal, right? Now it's time for dinner, we..."

Amos grabbed Yang Xiaoling's hand who was about to place an order, "Since your friend's time is not suitable, let's make an appointment next time, if we have a chance. Aren't we going to the gym soon? There is no room when we go late."

Yang Xiaoling was lost, "Na Xuxu, shall I ask you out next time?"

"If I have time." Lin Xu didn't want to talk too much, so he pulled Jiang Yang away and walked to the seafood area in the distance.

"Are you really good friends?" Amos asked, "He obviously doesn't want to talk to you, and the rejection is all written on his face, and you are still rushing to post it?"

Yang Xiaoling opened WeChat and sent a message, "You don't understand, it means you are here today."

Amos is inexplicable: "Me? I just met him for the first time."

"Anyway, he was different before." Yang Xiaoling looked at Lin Xu's back and said bitterly, "He used to be very kind to me."

Here Lin Xu went to the seafood area to pick out live fish, looking for his target in the water tank.

"Senior, is he your friend?" Jiang Yang half bent, put his arm on the handle of the shopping cart, followed Lin Xu, and asked, "Why do you think the atmosphere between you is weird?"

"A friend I met when I was young. Later, I encountered some things and wanted to talk to him. It happened to coincide with his birthday." Lin Xu paused, pointed to a fish in the fish tank, and said to the staff, "I want this one." , help me out."

"Okay, do I need to help you kill it?"

Lin Xu: "Well, let's deal with the internal organs as well."

At this moment, Lin Xu's cell phone vibrated, and he took it out to see that it was a message from Yang Xiaoling:

[Xiao Ling: Xu Xu, let me just say why Jiang Yang is familiar, he is the one he had a crush on in college, right?I often heard you mention it before, and I asked why the voice sounded familiar.Wow, after all these years, congratulations to Crush Come True!when are you free?Invite your boyfriend out for dinner! 】

Jiang Yang listened halfway, and his curiosity was aroused, "Then what?"

"Then..." Lin Xu's gaze was blank for a moment, staring at the text on the phone, his memory returned to five years ago——

At that time, he was already mentally confused. The death of his parents, the pressure from the outside world and the criticism of public opinion made him physically and mentally exhausted, and he was in a depressed state for a whole month.

The memo on the phone reminded him of his good friend's birthday. Lin Xuqiang went out with energy, carrying Yang Xiaoling's favorite chocolate cake. Because of his trance, he gave the wrong address to the driver, and the car drove to a cemetery in the suburbs.

At that time, the driver still teased him that everyone else bought chrysanthemums when they came to the cemetery, and this was the first time I saw him buying cakes.

This episode was delayed for an hour, and when Lin Xu arrived, he happened to meet Yang Xiaoling going out in a hurry.

"Xiao Ling..." Lin Xu stopped him.

"Xu Xu," Yang Xiaoling walked in a hurry, didn't see what Lin Xu was carrying in his hand, and said in a panic, "Peiyu and I had a quarrel, I have to go out, are you in a hurry? Go in and wait for me Well, I'll be right back."

Lin Xu grabbed him and did not let go, "There is something urgent. I..."

"Wait for me if there is something urgent, Pei Yu misunderstood me cheating, I have to explain to him!" Yang Xiaoling broke away from Lin Xu's hand and hurried into the elevator.

"Then when will you come back?" Lin Xu raised his voice and asked before the elevator doors closed.

"About an hour!"

However, Lin Xu waited for Yang Xiaoling in the house for a whole day and one night. Lin Xu didn't answer his calls or text messages. It wasn't until the next afternoon that Yang Xiaoling came back smelling of alcohol. His clothes were disheveled, and he was clean and tidy yesterday. His neck was full of hickey marks, and the breath of lust was extremely obvious.

Seeing that Lin Xu was still in the room, he asked in surprise, "Why are you still here?"

"I'm waiting for you to come back to celebrate your birthday." Lin Xu, who was suffering from insomnia, his eyes were red from the boil, took out the cake, put it on the coffee table, looked straight at Yang Xiaoling, and said in a hoarse voice, "Although it's late , but Xiaoling, happy birthday."

Yang Xiaoling was stunned for a moment, then smiled, "Thank you Xuxu, but I'm so sleepy, I need to go to sleep first, you should go back first."

He took off his clothes without any shame, and walked into the room with all kinds of bruises and bite marks on his body.

Lin Xu looked at Yang Xiaoling's over-indulgent appearance, his breathing was a little difficult, and he followed behind and asked, "You didn't come home last night, were you out with your boyfriend?"

"That's right," Yang Xiaoling fell on the bed, not wearing a pair of underwear, and the slap marks on his buttocks looked hideous, "I managed to coax people well, I'm really exhausted."

Lin Xu couldn't believe it: "You know I'm waiting for you here, but you have sex with someone else?"

"What else? That's my boyfriend," Yang Xiaoling dissatisfied, "I'm serious this time. You know I've been dating him for more than a year. This is the first time he has lost his temper with me. Coax well."

"So you just left me here?" Lin Xu's headache was splitting, he felt that he was deep in the bottom of the sea, and the pressure in the air caused him extreme pain, exhausting his energy every time he said a word, "Aren't you a bit too much? "

Yang Xiaoling was sleepy, but Lin Xu grabbed her and coaxed her boyfriend all night. Now she was disturbed and dozed off, and all her impatient emotions poured out: "What's wrong with you today, did you take the wrong medicine? Are you pestering me about this? Weren't you very gentle and understanding before?"

"We have known each other for more than ten years, and you left me here for more than 20 hours for a man who has known each other for less than a year?" Lin Xu was so angry and dizzy that he leaned against the wall to barely stand still, "I Shouldn't there be a temper, can't you ask for an explanation?"

"What explanation do you want? Didn't you all see it!" Yang Xiaoling was furious, "I know that your parents died in a bad mood, so I follow you these days, don't give me all your negative emotions, I'm not you trash can!"

"Why did I give you negative emotions?" Lin Xu was trembling with anger, a kind of heart palpitations that he had never experienced before was strong and fierce, and a devil's claw grabbed his heart fiercely, causing him to be so painful that he couldn't stand upright. Standing up, wanting to tell Yang Xiaoling about Guo Shule yesterday was completely swallowed.

"Aren't you using the matter of my being with my boyfriend as an excuse to vent your anger now?" Yang Xiaoling was also furious, not noticing Lin Xu's pale face and abnormal mental state, "Everyone is an adult, can you give me some advice?" Mutual space? When your parents passed away, I put aside all my things and stayed with you all the time. I was afraid that you would live in your house every day if you had something to do. If it wasn’t for you, would Peiyu have misunderstood my cheating?! In the final analysis, the culprit of this matter You are the culprit! What right do you have to lose your temper with me?"

"Yes, we have known each other for more than ten years, but can you have a sense of proportion?! Just because I have you as a friend, I can't fall in love?"

Indignant attitudes, tough questioning, and critical words.

Yang Xiaoling's face was distorted, overlapping with those devils in the abyss in Midnight's dream, Lin Xu gritted his teeth and stared fiercely at his own hair.

"Lin Xu, you can't be too selfish. Who doesn't have a bad heart? I know that my parents are sad when they pass away, and I know that you are being abused by those idiots on the Internet, but you can't get angry at me. What obligation do I have to bear your responsibility? Emotions? In this world, it’s not like the earth doesn’t turn when there’s no one. To put it bluntly, I will definitely live with my lover for the rest of my life. Are you going to pester me for the rest of my life? If you dare to confess your love to someone you like, you won’t be allowed to be in love with my boyfriend? What kind of gangster thinking are you doing?”

On that day, Lin Xu couldn't remember how he left, and the relationship with Yang Xiaoling for more than ten years was completely broken.

Yang Xiaoling's attitude and fierce words were the last straw that crushed him. He was confused and had a mental breakdown. The negative emotions accumulated in his heart could not be vented, and even his best friend refused to listen to him.

Lin Xu was crying as he walked on the road, surrounded by cars roaring one after another, he didn't know how he got back, but since that day, cracks appeared in his memory.

Lin Xu only remembered that his parents abandoned him, his friendship was completely broken, he gave up on himself, completely fell into the abyss, and fell into darkness forever.

The world is big, but it cannot accommodate him who is alone.

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This chapter is just to commemorate the girlfriends who have known me for decades, quarreled over a trivial matter, and never contacted again.

There is no absolute right or wrong between adults, and there is no decent farewell. After being broken overnight, what is left is an irreparable crack.

Thanks for watching.