Horse riding in the snow

17

Spring is getting deeper and the temperature is rising day by day. The capital ushered in a complete farewell to the long winter.

During the few days of recuperating at home, Dai Xu's physical condition has stabilized, but his mental state is still not optimistic. Occasionally, after falling into a trance, he will be awakened by hallucinations or nightmares, followed by a flurry of heart and stomach emergency treatment.Fortunately, Luo Shengchao also slowly figured out the corresponding strategy. Dai Xu is not a sage. When his emotions fluctuate too much, he tends to seek a thing to rely on. In the past, Dai Xu lived on porcelain dolls, but now Luo Shengchao found that his Hugging seems to have the same effect.

Hugs are naturally inexhaustible, if not for worrying about Dai Xu thinking too much, Luo Shengchao would even be willing to hug him all the time and not let go.

Dai Xu, who is sober during the day, is always quiet and self-sufficient. That excessive obedience and caution are like words without words, vaguely presenting the estrangement between the two, and whenever Dai Xu is tired or in pain, After wasting his reason, he will instead reveal the fragility hidden deep in his heart, and put his whole body into Luo Shengchao's arms in a relaxed manner.This kind of subconscious trust is a rare recognition for Luo Shengchao, both in the past and now. The young man who hugged the big cat wholeheartedly never thought that he, who was still troubled by Dai Xu's return to the country a few days ago, would now Because Dai Xu approached unconsciously, he was ecstatic.

In order to accompany Dai Xu through the most difficult time, and to face Dai Jianwen's last days together with Dai Xu, Luo Shengchao took this opportunity to use up his annual leave.

As the personal doctor of the Dai family, Guan Chi was very competent. He took Dai Xu to the hospital for a comprehensive physical examination before setting a date to take them to see Dai Jianwen.Correspondingly, Xie Zihui also gave Dai Xu a psychological evaluation. He stood aside with a displeased face, hesitating to speak as if he wanted to stop Dai Xu, but in the principle of respecting the patient's wishes, he had no choice but to stay away from him. Word.

In fact, Luo Shengchao was more worried and anxious than Xie Zihui, but he also knew that the key to deciding whether Dai Xu would go or not was not Dai Xu's own wishes, but more the fact that Dai Jianwen was running out of time.

Luo Shengchao was grateful to the two doctors for their pure care and care for Dai Xu, and thanked them for holding up the meager warmth that remained for Dai Xu. He intentionally comforted Xie Zihui, and took two steps forward to stand beside Dai Xu : "It's okay, Dr. Xie, I will stay by his side, and I will contact you in time if there is any situation."

Under the care of Luo Shengchao, Dai Xu's condition is improving. Xie Zihui's previous resentment towards Luo Shengchao's smashing of the porcelain doll has also disappeared, and the professional smile on his face is a little more sincere.

"I believe Mr. Dai will feel better if you are with him."

Xie Zi has been practicing for many years. He also read thousands of cases when he was in school. There are many diseases classified as love entanglements, and the outcomes of patients are also different.He has seen a lot, and he is even more unable to make a conclusion when facing the right and wrong in love. In the end, he can only think that maybe there is no right or wrong in love, only whether it is necessary or not.

Luo Shengchao did make a mistake before, but it is not incomprehensible.From an objective point of view, his compensation for Dai Xu and his belated love may be as cheap as grass, but as long as Dai Xu needs... as long as Dai Xu needs, then these actions and friendship are precious and warm.

Xie Zi sighed back, bitterness spread from his dry lips to his chest.In his field of vision, Luo Shengchao had already lightly held Dai Xu's hand and held it in his palm. The expression on his face was so strong that Xiao Dai always lowered his head slightly after he just glanced at it. Standing not too close to him, keeping a distance in a detached and restrained manner...

How can you not make him envious?

……

A few days later, Guan Chi arrived at the door of Dai Xu and Luo Shengchao's house early in the morning according to the agreed time, and picked them up in the car.

On the way to the nursing home, the three of them were a little silent. Guan Chi knew that it was inappropriate to say anything at this time, while Luo Shengchao only cared about applying warm compresses to Dai Xu's frequent intravenous injections, even more so than the "long farewell" with his father. "Reunion", Dai Xu himself was tens of thousands of times nervous.At such a sensitive time, he couldn't help but develop a kind of evasive mentality similar to hiding his ears and stealing the bell. He lowered his head all the time to avoid Dai Xu's gaze, for fear that he would not be able to comfort him.

Dai Xu, on the other hand, was the most calm and composed of the three—the fact of meeting Dai Jianwen touched the instinctive fear deep in his heart, and this familiar fear made him feel accustomed and at ease.And the fact that Luo Shengchao was holding his hand by his side gave him a little courage, so a different emotion grew out of fear.

Father is dying.

Such thoughts flowed into his mind along with the scenery flying backwards outside the window, just thinking about it was enough to soften his heart.He knows that people will become kind and gentle when they are about to die. People will always give a strong sense of ritual to the concept of "the last time". There was a trace of reluctance in the memories of screaming.

He has always been a nostalgic person.

During these three dark years, he always missed the days when he and Luo Shengchao simply cuddled together, and he had to admit... he also always missed the age when he had a good relationship with his father.Dai Xu also remembers things early. He still remembers the scene of being picked up by his father with his strong arms to play "flying a plane" when he was young. He also remembers the temperature from his big hands and the fragrance of cologne when his father put on a small bow tie for him. , so when the situation suddenly changed, when all the warmth turned into beatings, cursing and insulting, Dai Xu really experienced the feeling of the sky falling.

But he was also sensible early, and quickly understood from his father's madness and fatigue that the past intimacy was irreversible—at least it was impossible with his ability.

After falling in love with Luo Shengchao and parting ways, Dai Xu also tried to understand Dai Jianwen's pain when he was sober.When deeply in love with someone, even fantasizing about the other's betrayal will bring pain to the skin. At that time, Dai Xu, who broke up with Luo Shengchao, actually understood Dai Jianwen's rage and powerlessness at a certain moment, but understanding is just understanding... It doesn't mean that if you understand the other party, you can completely forget the pain the other party has brought to you.

But at the moment when he straightened his back and stepped into the nursing home, Dai Xu suddenly hoped that he had forgotten all the nightmare memories.

Because Luo Shengchao kept holding his hand, and suddenly increased his strength.

"It's the last time." Dai Xu heard him say this in a low voice.

Sheng Chao was nervous for him, worried that he would be sad, Dai Xu really wanted to comfort his lover who was more flustered than himself with appropriate words like before, wanted to tell him that the scars over the years had already formed thick scabs, and wanted to say something Romantic love words, such as I will not be afraid if you are by my side... But the atmosphere in the nursing home seems to be different from the outside world, and it is pressing down on his voice, making his already barren desire to speak even more scarce.

Dai Xu could only shake Luo Shengchao back with his still cold hands, and raised a slightly unfamiliar but sincere smile: "It's okay, for the last time, I want to talk to him properly."

Dai Jianwen lived in the only room on the top floor of the nursing home. Guan Chi sent the two of them out of the elevator and returned to the first floor.The top floor has a wide view, and the large floor-to-ceiling windows bring in the bright sunlight from the outside world into the room. In order to facilitate Dai Jianwen's wheelchair to move forward, the medical staff spread a thin layer of carpet on the floor, and Dai Xu gently stepped on it. , There is no sound under the feet, but the sound of the heartbeat in the ear has nowhere to hide.

A skinny figure was sitting by the window with his back to the elevator door, with a halo of light, and the dark blue suit fabric on the man's body was faintly discernible.This is the first time that Luo Shengchao saw this Boss Dai who may have made many contributions to society but hurt Dai Xu deeply. He just looked at Dai Jianwen's weak back and felt unbearable. This was the first time he was so real He deeply and superficially experienced Dai Xu's dilemma.

He squeezed Dai Xu's palm with some strength, brought Dai Xu's arm forward, and then stood on the spot and let go of that hand.

Dai Xu turned his head slightly to look at Luo Shengchao.He was wearing that dark long windbreaker today, and his demeanor has returned to the sharp and mature businessman he showed to others, but just when Luo Shengchao was taken aback by the strangeness that came to his face, Dai Xu suddenly Rarely pursed the corners of his lips.

He lowered his voice, and said softly, a little cautiously, not so coquettishly: "When I come out, Sheng Chao give me a hug, okay?"

Looking at that exquisite face, Luo Shengchao seemed to see grievances under the man's sharp facial features, couldn't help but smiled, and felt a little sad: "Okay, I'll take you home."

Dai Xu also curled his lips into a smile, then turned around and walked towards his father.

It wasn't until he was only a few steps away from Dai Jianwen that Dai Xu saw his father's appearance clearly.

Dai Jianwen was already very haggard, his complexion turned sallow and black, and his cheekbones protruded frighteningly.He was sitting in a wheelchair, and his skinny bones could no longer support the expensive suit, but perhaps because he wanted to see his son whom he hadn't seen for many years, the man over half a century old still asked someone to tidy him up carefully.As if he finally heard the voice, he regained a little strength with the help of nasal oxygen, opened his eyelids and looked at Dai Xu.

Time may be the best gift. After being washed away by complicated and trivial matters, Dai Xu no longer trembled with fear even looking at his father's face. He carefully and gently placed his eyes on his father's sick face, just pinching Live at your fingertips.

Dai Jianwen's breath became short of breath a few times, his eyes narrowed and then released, and he tried his best to see clearly the thin and pale appearance of his once lively and lovely child.A heavy emotion like regret gradually pervaded his fragile chest. In recent years, Guan Chi has also conveyed fragments of Dai Xu's physical and mental conditions to him. He knows that Dai Xu is still willing to Seeing him as a dying person was because of Dai Xu's kindness.He was already powerless to change anything, and he didn't want to make unnecessary excuses for what he did in the past—he admitted that he was wrong, but felt that he was also excusable.

He and Dai Xu couldn't go on the same path in this life, so he was very content to know that Dai Xu was still a good boy in the last few minutes.He has done a lot of crazy things and experienced a lot of wind and rain, but to this day, right and wrong, he is lonely and peaceful in the end.

"Dai Xu." Dai Jianwen paused, trying to raise his old voice, "You can come...I'm very happy."

Dai Xu lowered his eyes and gave a low "hmm".

"In my hand...the share documents are all in the bedside cabinet in my bedroom, and the password is your mother's birthday." Dai Jianwen said slowly, stopping to take a break almost every half sentence, "You hold it, don't give it to the board of directors. Others, it will be more convenient for you to do whatever you want in the future."

"The property of the Dai family should not pass through the hands of others, you should understand."

Dai Xu still only responded with a short "um".

Dai Jianwen seemed to think that his son's long-sleeved and dance-like appearance was a bit disobedient and comforting, so he smiled lightly.He leaned back in the chair and remained silent for a long time before continuing: "That young man..."

Dai Xu knew that he was referring to Luo Shengchao, so he immediately raised his head and looked directly at him.Dai Jianwen felt his stress reaction, and curled his lips again bitterly: "Don't be nervous. He... I left him some money and asked Guan Chi to transfer it to him. I hope he will take good care of you."

This sentence was euphemistic, but it had multiple meanings. It not only recognized the relationship between Luo Shengchao and Dai Xu, but also said "take care of yourself" to Dai Xu in a roundabout way.Dai Xu's already sluggish thinking became even more sluggish when facing Dai Jianwen. It was okay when he brought up business-related topics, but he struggled when it came to emotional issues.He followed the faint rise and fall of Dai Jianwen's chest for a while, and then he felt the warmth and strangeness flowing through his blood at the same time, as if stung by these words.

Dai Jianwen was still talking to himself: "Not much...too little."

I don't know if I was saying that the money I gave was too little, or I was talking about something else.

Dai Xu was a little stunned, not knowing what to say.The father and son had not communicated for too many years. The time when he confessed to his father that he fell in love with a man was probably the only effective communication between the two of them. For the rest of the time, Dai Jianwen was often roaring, while he was silent.Dai Xu still wanted to remain silent as usual. Dai Jianwen's life was on the verge of ending, and there was no need to talk about the polite words that pretended to be intimate, but aside from the indifferent and seemingly distant scenes, there was no connection between them.

In this tranquility, Dai Jianwen turned his head and took another deep look at Dai Xu. This face really didn't look like his when he was young, maybe it was more like the woman who was still beautiful in memory even if she was a betrayer.It's not like him, the injured are always more worthy of a long life than the wounded.

"Dai Xu, don't come here again in your next life"

Boss Dai, who has been in the arms industry all his life, suddenly uttered such a very emotional sentence, Dai Xu was taken aback, and soon felt a chill that made his heart beat faster.Dai Jianwen is pushing him away. His father is indifferent and tough, but he wants to protect him sadly and helplessly. The reality that has been cast cannot be changed. Dai Jianwen is powerless to the point of confusion. Barely living under one roof.

Dai Xu was suddenly drawn to the nostalgic heartstrings that belonged to the little Dai Xu in his heart, and a burst of sourness rushed into his eyes: "Father..."

Dai Jianwen smiled at him one last time. The seriously ill man conceded defeat to his son, turned his head to the other side and leaned back on the back of the chair.

"I'm going to rest."

His father's weak voice drifted into Dai Xu's ears like fallen leaves, and he had almost no memory of what happened afterwards.He was invited out of the room by the nurse called by Dai Jianwen, and Luo Shengchao anxiously held his hands and rubbed his hands to warm them up. When the elevator descended back to the lobby, he politely thanked Guan Chi.

When he walked out of the gate of the nursing home building, he was greeted by a dazzling sun. Luo Shengchao was standing beside him, holding his hand with one hand, and raising the other hand, making a gesture of wanting to hug him. pose.

Dai Xu looked at him for a while, then walked over and gently fell into his lover's arms.

Luo Shengchao's chest was the same as before, not generous but warm enough, and his collar was stained with the smell of clean laundry detergent.Dai Xu closed his eyes in the light of the sky and love, and rubbed his boyfriend's neck attached.After a long time, he felt Luo Shengchao's hand around his back hesitantly reached up, and finally landed on the back of his head.

He didn't hide.

"Sheng Chao, let's go home." He said.