Horse riding in the snow

16

Guan Chi left after staring at Luo Shengchao preparing the medicine that Dai Xu needed to take at noon. He didn't force Dai Xu to give an answer at this moment, but only said that if he had an idea later, he could send him a message.

Luo Shengchao sent Guan Chi out the door, turned back to the bedroom, only to find that his lover was already sitting by the bed, obediently putting himself on a drip.Dai Xu only needs one bag of medicine after lunch every day. His current physical and psychological condition requires a long rest time. Xu leaned on the back of the chair, his thin body was soaked in the soft afternoon sun, his pale cheeks were full of tiredness.

Luo Shengchao approached him with light steps, and saw his long and light eyelashes trembling tremblingly, making the sense of fragility flow freely from this tall boy.For no reason, Luo Shengchao thought of the endless nostalgia and guilt revealed after opening these eyes a few days ago. The almost desperate love made his heart tremble no matter how long it took.

Luo Shengchao walked up to Dai Xu's side, met Dai Xu's slowly raised eyes when he heard the sound, raised the corner of his mouth and gently touched his shoulder.

Dai Xu froze for a moment, called "Sheng Chao" in a low voice, and after a while raised his hand to catch Luo Shengchao's fingers.The fingertips covered were cold, and gauze was still wrapped around the bony wrist, Luo Shengchao felt a pain in his heart, and he raised his fingers to hook Dai Xu's slender fingers.

"Xuxu..." Luo Shengchao hesitated for a long time, stroking the amputated phalanx with his fingertips, "Do you want to go?"

After asking a word, Luo Shengchao finally dissipated a little of the stagnation that had been stuck in his chest since before Guan Chi left. He lowered his eyes to observe Dai Xu's expression carefully, and was so nervous that the strength in his hands increased a lot.

When sending them home, Guan Chi once said that "the meaning of family is different from that of lover and friend", Luo Shengchao deeply believed it and kept it in his heart.He didn't intend to excuse himself, but he had to admit that Dai Jianwen's harm to Dai Xu might be incomparable to what he had done.

Dai Jianwen was the first person to overthrow Dai Xu's worldview, and the first person to tell Dai Xu that he was "not worth it".Luo Shengchao once expressed his love so hard and so tenderly, and that surging love fell into Dai Xu's arms, but because of Dai Jianwen's tear, there was no ripple.

Dai Jianwen was the one who emptied Dai Xu in the first place.

Luo Shengchao was a little worried that his lover would be hurt even more if he went to see Dai Jianwen. Dai Xu was already fragile now, and he didn't believe that a father who would lose his mind and beat and scold his son could bring any warmth to Dai Xu.He tried his best to reject this meeting in his heart, but he couldn't really say anything to stop Dai Xu, so he could only ask Dai Xu's thoughts in a discussing tone——

After all, according to what Guan Chi said, Dai Jianwen might not be able to wait for any "later".

Dai Xu was silent for a long time, digesting the influx of information with a slightly dull mind, and then his expression changed, and there were a few strands of clear sadness in his beautiful eyes.

"My father..." He tried his best to pick up the fragments of language relatively fluently, and the blankness on his face was fleeting, "His condition is very bad."

Luo Shengchao groped for his palm and squeezed his palm lightly.

Dai Xu blinked slowly, and said slowly: "A year ago, he was admitted to the hospital for emergency treatment, and I sent him to a nursing home abroad. Is he satisfied... I don't know, but I took over the company later. , Father seems very angry."

As he spoke, the fingertips lying in Luo Shengchao's hands trembled slightly. This trembling was like a cold current, and Luo Shengchao also felt a surge of coldness along the skin of the two.

Luo Shengchao took a deep breath in pain, and stopped him lightly: "Xuxu, stop talking."

Dai Xu closed his eyes and shook his head: "I don't regret it, Sheng Chao, I was the one who let you down before, so that I could protect you. I don't regret it, in terms of managing the company...my performance is not too bad. "

Luo Shengchao sat next to him, his whole arm was close to Dai Xu's: "I know, you are very powerful, I knew it from the first time I knew you."

But no matter how powerful Dai Xu was, he was just a 21-year-old boy.

Luo Shengchao knew that with his talent and systematic education since he was a child, Dai Xu would definitely become a successful businessman, and he also knew that the handsome and rich young CEO under the camera of passers-by was actually wrapped in a decayed but deadly man. A soul that holds on to a bit of sugar in memory and doesn't let go.

It has been less than half a month since Dai Xu returned to the country, and Luo Shengchao has only reunited with him for a few days, but he has already seen him in extreme pain but still showing his belly to the perpetrator.

Dai Xu has multiple feelings, and Luo Shengchao knows it very well.

He held Dai Xu's hand a little tighter.He thought that no matter what decision Dai Xu made, he should support it.

Dai Xu's pale lips opened and closed slightly, and there seemed to be a soft sigh between the words: "Sheng Chao, Dr. Xie once told me that I can blame him." He paused, "But I don't want to .”

"He is my father, besides him, I..."

I no longer have any relatives.

Luo Shengchao understood what he hadn't said, he lowered his body feeling something, looked up at Dai Xu's delicate face from a low place, and saw a drop of tears hanging on the tip of the young man's upturned nose as expected.

Luo Shengchao's eyes were sore with him for a moment, and he murmured: "I know, I know. It's okay Xuxu, I'll accompany you if you want to go."

Dai Xu clasped his fingertips turned white, he turned his head slightly, and said in a deep voice, "I'm sorry, did I let you down..."

Luo Shengchao tried his best to keep the tears in his eyes, and smiled vigorously: "No, you are kind." He patted Dai Xu's knee, and warmed Dai Xu's hand hanging on the needle with his palm, "Baby, I I just like your kindness."

He stared at the thin young man in front of him, remembering the "forgiveness" he said to himself not long ago, and thinking of Dai Xu's choice to be gentle to his dying father at this moment, his heart seemed to be held tightly by someone It hurts.It is obvious that Dai Xu was the one who was the most injured in the whole incident. It is obvious that Dai Xu was depressed and somaticized by his father and forced by him. Denying myself, I can't even eat normally...

Obviously he was already in such pain, but he still chose to forgive time and time again.

What a lot of courage this must be... In all fairness, Luo Shengchao felt that if he were himself, he would not be able to do it.

He took Dai Xu's hand, knelt down and knelt down in front of him, lowered his head, and rested his forehead on Dai Xu's kneecap.

"Xuxu, there is no one better than you in this world." Luo Shengchao said in a muffled voice, "You must believe this."

……

Perhaps it was because he thought too much about Dai Jianwen before resting, and Dai Xu didn't sleep well during this afternoon nap.

The world in the dream is grotesque, and the disturbing past is intertwined into every fragment of the dream, as if black waves crashed against Dai Xu time and time again.The plot in the dream is nothing more than those recurring scenes, Dai Jianwen's roar, the porcelain vase thrown by him, the heavy wooden door in the empty villa... Dai Xu has long been familiar with them, but every time he faces them Still like the child who had just experienced these things back then, the heartbeat could not help but become chaotic with the ups and downs of the pictures and sounds.

The sense of suffocation submerged like the gradually rising water surface. Dai Xu was restrained in the depths of the dream, facing his father's powerful figure buried in the shadow behind the dark wooden door, watching the oppression become real, from The heavy porcelain bottle condensed into a big-headed doll the size of a palm.

The fear that forced him so far distorted all existence, he couldn't move, he could only let the doll that was spun and thrown towards him suddenly turned into a face that kept getting closer to him, the smiling face that Luo Shengchao once praised for being cute was now squeezed It was terrifying, the white doll instantly turned into a life-threatening ghost, and even the squinted eyes revealed a gloomy look.

Dai Xu wanted to hide behind, but behind him was an abyss——

He fell sharply.

A sense of weightlessness rushed into his nasal cavity from the back of his waist, he felt the suffocation he hadn't seen for a long time, and his heart was beating wildly as if it was going to jump out of his chest.The blood all over his body flowed back to his chest in an instant, his limbs were cold, he opened his eyes in extreme fear, and sat up quickly.

Except for the deafening heartbeat and the nauseating feeling that the heart was about to pop out of his throat, Dai Xu had lost any other senses.There was a glaring black ash in front of his eyes, his limbs were cold and heavy, and the strength in his whole body was only enough to supply him with gasping for breath.

Luo Shengchao, who was decocting medicine in the kitchen, saw such a scene when he heard the sound and rushed over.

His beloved young man was sitting hunched over among the messy beds, his loose shawl and long hair were tangled together due to the struggle during the afternoon nap.Dai Xu's whole body was shaking like a sieve, and the overly bulky silk pajamas hung on his body, making the wrapped person look extremely thin.

Dai Xu's throat seemed to be whimpering with unknown meaning, Luo Shengchao was so anxious that he threw the heat-resistant gloves on the ground, sat down beside him, and stretched out his hand to stretch his chest.He called Dai Xu's name in a low voice, and it took more than ten seconds for him to hear the voice that reached his ears clearly.

"Where's my doll? My doll..."

Luo Sheng turned his head and saw that Dai Xu's face was pale, and cold sweat was gushing from his forehead, almost getting into his eyes.Those eyes were astonishingly red, and the whites of the eyes were covered with scarlet bloodshots, which were so dense that it was shocking.

Shocked and frightened, Luo Shengchao put one arm around Dai Xu and stroked Dai Xu's chest with the other, but the person in his arms struggled like a frightened cat, his hands stretched forward as if to Grabbing something, the thin and blue fingers twitched stiffly in mid-air, as if they felt the approach of the heat source, and quickly grabbed Luo Shengchao's arm like crazy.Dai Xu grasped it with great force, his ten fingers pinched into Luo Shengchao's skin, and he clenched his teeth with great force, his face changed from pale and white to blood red.

"Give me..." he murmured hoarsely.

He was panting heavily, his sweaty face was full of surprise, and his lips turned purple at a speed visible to the naked eye.The oxygen loss caused by heart palpitations and emotional collapse caused the strength in his body to disappear, and his back and shoulders collapsed more and more, as if the collapse of the snow mountain was about to appear before Luo Shengchao's eyes.

Luo Shengchao just watched the soft flesh on the apex of his heart twitch and shatter, his eyes were reddened by this scene, but he couldn't do anything except give Dai Xu a massage.

Dai Xu stretched out his hand, but Luo Shengchao had nothing in his hand, so he could only stuff himself into Dai Xu's empty arms in desperation. His chest was quickly pressed against Dai Xu's sweaty front, and Dai Xu's chaotic and hurried heartbeat In this way, he rushed towards him through the clothes.Luo Shengchao is so desperate, maybe no one in this world can understand his mood at this time, what his lover wants is the broken past, but the past is already past - he is really willing to smash himself to pieces for Dai Xu, but he really can't help it Give Dai Xu a good old thing.

Dai Xu was stripped of the sufferings of the world and was impoverished, and he was also poor.He has already lost everything, only his heart is left, he can only offer himself so completely, hoping to make up for every ounce of Daixu's longing.

"Xuxu, I'm sorry...I'm sorry, the doll is broken...I'm sorry, I didn't protect it well." He apologized intermittently, and was so desperate that he didn't know what else to say, "It's me...I didn't protect you well."

It was he who failed to protect their past, and he cut off the only rope that could bring Dai Xu back to the world...

Or maybe not.

Dai Xu's heartbeat and panting gradually calmed down in this tight hug.Luo Shengchao hugged him tightly, pressed his soft lips to the protruding veins on the side of Dai Xu's white neck, and kissed him tenderly with all his life's tenderness, while he held Dai Xushun with one hand, and the other One hand was clenched into a fist against Dai Xu's fragile chest, and he massaged Dai Xu.

His movements seemed so orderly, but his head was deeply stuck in Dai Xu's neck, as if the world was in chaos. barrier.

Dai Xu's emotions were soothed in this way, the light and fast beating heart seemed to embrace Luo Shengchao's heart, and gradually tended to beat at the same frequency as it.He leaned against Luo Shengchao's ear and his heavy breathing gradually stopped, becoming slow and long. Those pale hands landed on Luo Shengchao's sweaty back, slowly forming a hug.

A few days after the porcelain doll was smashed, Dai Xu finally landed on another piece of more generous soil.