[Wen Ye] Hell changes

Akutagawa came back from the hospital in a much better mood.Recently, he has taken a fancy to a nearby coffee shop, where the owner is a Japanese Communist Party over [-] years old, and there is often a thick Japanese edition of Mao Zedong on the front desk.

In the time when he was lonely, excluded and insulted, Ryunosuke Akutagawa would always sit at the front desk and read this book, exchange thoughts with this old comrade, and ask him humbly.Veteran comrades will also recommend his other works.

When he read "I can't bear to see my friends become new ghosts, and look for small poems in the knife bush", he couldn't help feeling selfless empathy and uncontrollable courage.He also read "What's the meaning of breaking your head today? Entrepreneurship is difficult and full of battles", and he can't help feeling a kind of strong excitement. Finally, in the moonlight and birdsong whispering in the corner, the excitement is hidden in the history. Introspect, retreat to the tragic tranquility of nature.After reading "Rapid Rain Crossing the East of the River, Strong Wind Entering the Sea", he couldn't help but burst into tears. Unable to hold back the emotional tide in his heart, he continued another poem below this poem.Tears smudged the handwriting.He was worried about being seen by others, ridiculed by others for his weakness, and seeing through his fragile and sentimental nature, so he immediately wiped away his tears, and went home alone with the moonlight and the sound of the violin under the moonlight.

One day, Ryunosuke Akutagawa wanted to ask Osamu Dazai for advice on a novel, so he went to a tavern to find him.He watched expectantly outside, but he didn't know that Osamu Dazai had been looking at him through the glass window inside for a long, long time.

Oda Sakunosuke, Dazai Osamu's friend, happened to be sitting next to him. Out of curiosity, he didn't forget to mix a glass for himself, and while sipping the wine, he moved his gaze to where Dazai Osamu was looking.

There was a brown-haired man wearing a hat standing outside the window. He took a closer look and recognized the other party as the well-known cadre Nakahara Chuya. Although he rarely dealt with these high-ranking people, he had a basic understanding. He must know that Chuya Nakahara and Osamu Dazai are partners.Since he was looking at his passing partner, there was nothing strange about it.

Just as Oda Sakunosuke was about to bow his head, he saw a slender man with black hair and black eyes walking beside Chuya Nakahara.Dazai Osamu's eyes lit up in that instant.

"Is that person your friend too?"

"It's mine... I picked it up. The name is Ryunosuke Akutagawa."

"It seems that he has a good relationship with Zhongyuan."

"maybe."

Osamu Dazai meaningfully shifted his eyes from Ryunosuke Akutagawa's face, and looked at the wave of wine in the wine glass, which was slow and fast.A faint drunken fragrance flows out from the waves of wine, and the drunken fragrance rolls into the happy flowers splashed when the water waves collide, spreading demurely in the light and shadow.Dazai Osamu's hand on the table can still be vaguely glimpsed there.His hands fluttered in the drink.He studied the reflection of his hands in the water.

Oda Sakunosuke was silent.Intuition told him that the relationship between Dazai Osamu and Akutagawa Ryunosuke was not so easy to sort out, but this was beyond the scope of his help, so he chose to remain silent.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke outside the window didn't know what he heard, and slowly looked at them, his gaze was extremely accurate, maybe he was just asking where Mr. Nakahara Chuya was.

Nakahara pointed to the window of the tavern, and signaled Akutagawa that Osamu Dazai was inside, so Akutagawa carefully cast a glance into the window.Dazai, who was looking down at the reflection in his wine glass, missed the opportunity to meet the glimpse, but Oda Sakunosuke did not.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke's reserved but expectant eyes struck towards the depths of Oda Sakunosuke's soul with lightning speed and precision.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke was also taken aback when he found a strange person sitting beside Osamu Dazai, then lowered his gaze to the calm Keibo who was still flashing in his eyes.The broken hair on his temples swayed gently.Oda Sakunosuke didn't make a sound, and quietly looked at the owner of the foggy light-colored eyes.

Those hazy eyes looked at Oda Sakunosuke with a little repulsion, like a mist blowing towards his face, and his heart was deeply wrapped in a very soft and heavy way like a leaden feather into it.A certain powerful emotion in the man's eyes entered his body, shattering all his language abilities, leaving only the itchy feeling of scraping fragments in his throat.

Suddenly, the black eyes seem to be impatient for some reason, and they look away slightly.Oda Sakunosuke guessed that the other party wanted Osamu Dazai to find him.Osamu Dazai had discovered him a long time ago, but he just didn't want to let him know. It's a pity that he has been standing outside hoping to attract Osamu Dazai's attention, but he seemed a little pitiful instead.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke blinked in this direction again, and this action made his double eyelids unfold slowly from the inside to the outside like a folding fan.His line from the chin to the neck is graceful and smooth, without any fat line wrinkles, like a curved ring that is about to be stretched.This kind of lines cannot be produced in one generation, maybe his ancestors also had such beautiful lines, probably this is the beauty that can only be produced after several generations of precipitation.He only needs to move slightly, and the slender and harmonious neck line makes people unable to move their eyes away, and the open and clean forehead is also fuller, and the smooth neck is almost like a white shell under the soft sunlight. Light.

The line from chin to neck flows gracefully, showing his inherent supernatural demeanor.

Oda Sakunosuke and Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at each other wordlessly for about half a minute.

The boundary between reality and dream is extremely blurred, and inexplicable emotions exert their magic power vividly.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke has a pair of very talking black eyes.Oda Sakunosuke wanted to tell Osamu Dazai so.But he decided it was better not to say it.

Still unable to wait for Dazai Osamu's attention, Akutagawa Ryunosuke turned his back full of disappointment, while Nakahara Nakara asked him how he was doing, and asked him if he had seen Dazai Osamu.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke closed his eyes, and almost wrote the word "bad mood" on his face. Nakahara had no choice but to say, "It's okay, it's okay, Dazai doesn't know people, I'll take you to dinner."Akutagawa Ryunosuke rejected him, but Nakahara was not so easy to be pushed away, so he continued to persuade him, for example, you should have passed training early today, and you should relax yourself.So Akutagawa Ryunosuke couldn't resist, and followed him out of here with complicated emotions.

Sakunosuke Oda in the window was drinking wine while watching the leaving figure of Akutagawa Ryunosuke from the corner of his eye.

And after Akutagawa Ryunosuke followed Nakahara Chuya, he didn't have a good meal as he wished, because the leader of the port mafia, Mori Ogai, suddenly sent an order to see Akutagawa.

Nakahara Naka who was standing next to Akutagawa also found it strange, or rather incredible.Akutagawa doesn't have any achievements to speak of yet, he is just a disciple of Osamu Dazai, how could he be summoned directly by Mori Ogai suddenly.Suspicious, he went with him without permission, saying that he was waiting outside the door for Akutagawa to come out, and asked Akutagawa not to mind.

Unexpectedly, when they arrived at Mori Ogai's place, the other party seemed not at all surprised by the existence of Nakahara Chuya, and naturally asked him to find a seat to sit down as well.

"Akutagawa Ryunosuke, isn't it?" Mori Ogai uttered a long-drawn call, which made Akutagawa straighten his back involuntarily.

"Yes."

"Let me take a good look at you."

He kept rubbing his chin with one hand, as if he was thinking about something, the smile on his face was quite similar to Dazai Osamu's always incomprehensible smile, of course Akutagawa couldn't tell what he was thinking .

"Recently, many people in the organization say that you are..." He laughed out loud, then paused for a second, "They say you are a rabbit master who relies on your appearance to make a name for himself."

Akutagawa lowered his head deeply.

"First of all, I am definitely not the one who wants to buy your hue. I am innocent. Please don't blame Akutagawa-kun on me."

"Understood."

"Okay, since you are so sensible and speak concisely, let's end this topic." After some scrutiny, Mori Ogai did not make any comments, and an ambiguous "Okay" made people uncertain about this short He looked at whether his impression of Akutagawa was good or bad. "Let's talk about another thing. I heard that you went to the hospital a few days ago. I don't know what the diagnosis is?"

"It's just some old injuries and minor illnesses. I'm not strong enough, so I'm entangled in illnesses."

"Don't say that, I have a very accurate eye for seeing people, so I can tell..." There was a ulterior pause, followed by a short chuckle, "I can see that you are a very good person. You Very talented and very promising. I will not treat this kind of rare member badly, so I will let you come and let me take a look once in a while, it will be regarded as my concern for you, and you don't have to be too restrained , don’t be afraid of me.”

"Thank you very much for your appreciation..."

It was clearly an honored speech, but it drew an invisible frown from Akutagawa.

He frowned, covered his mouth and nose, and coughed a few times gracefully.This morbid and embarrassing movement was performed gracefully by him, even the swaying of the body following the cough was delicate and moving, and the shoulders trembled appropriately, exuding a pleasing aesthetic feeling.

If it hadn't been known clearly, no one would have believed that he came from a slum where all manners and education were fed to dogs.

"Akutagawa-kun, you can't live like this for long." Mori Ogai propped his chin with his hands and rested his elbows on the table, "Let's put it this way...mental wounds are sometimes more painful than physical wounds Times. I believe you have the most personal experience of this point."

"Yes."

"I will not deny anyone's way of life. Your nature has been fixed. How you decide to live is not within my jurisdiction. It is your own business to choose loneliness. But if you continue like this, you will always Will it collapse one day? People are always made of flesh, they need love and motivation to live, and they will be alone for the rest of their lives, surrounded by endless loneliness. Just thinking about this kind of life is scary." Speaking of this , he smiled, people who are not deeply involved in the world may be immediately deceived by his revealed gentleness, "I don't want to lose you."

Akutagawa didn't quite understand that the leader summoned him suddenly and kept saying that he couldn't bear to part with him. This kind of thing was very confusing.Besides, why did the other party know that he had gone to the hospital? He obviously had nothing to do with it before.

He came up with a possibility.

Could it be Osamu Dazai who told Mori Ogai?Apart from Osamu Dazai, there should be no other person who meets the requirements.It was Dazai Ogai who told Mori Ogai that he went to the hospital for diagnosis, and told Mori Ogai his physical and mental state... Thinking of this, Akutagawa Ryunosuke couldn't help but wonder, is Dazai Ogai caring about himself?Will Osamu Dazai care about him?Is Osamu Dazai caring about him?Would Osamu Dazai care about himself?Osamu Dazai who punched and kicked him every day, Osamu Dazai who was never satisfied with himself, even Osamu Dazai who stood outside the window of the tavern for as long as he would never notice.

Mr. Dazai.

Dazai...

"But it seems that you are not completely alone. Chuya-kun seems to care more about you than Dazai." Mori Ou looked at Chuya who was sitting on the side unexpectedly, and looked at the latter He snorted lightly.

A seemingly inadvertent comment chilled Ryunosuke Akutagawa's heart full of hope just now.He didn't know if Mori Ogai did it on purpose, but these words did bring him back to the cruel reality, who was still thinking about Osamu Dazai just now.The information in these words is full of cruelty that can subdue Akutagawa's entire world, almost causing him to collapse directly.

From the first time he saw Osamu Dazai, from the time he was given a new life by Osamu Dazai, he has been working hard to get Osamu Dazai's approval all the time, it doesn't matter if he doesn't care, it doesn't matter if he doesn't have feelings, even if the affirmation is rigid and cold , he is also looking forward to it with enthusiasm, and it can even be said that he is looking forward to it without any conditions.

He used heartless politeness to cover up his suffering in front of others, comforting himself that everything Dazai did was for his own good, in order to whitewash the deformed teacher-student relationship with Dazai in front of others and in his own heart. I have exhausted all my efforts in my life.He knew very well that even though he had exhausted all his efforts, he still hadn't touched the door of Dazai Osamu's heart, but he still worked hard without any complaints.

The exhaustion and grievances that he had worked so hard to hide were fully revealed by Mori Ogai's casual wake-up call, and it took only a moment for his defenses to collapse.

He was really really tired.I really really care about what Dazai thinks.At the same time, I really didn't even get a look from Osamu Dazai.

"Boss, I ask to take him away." Zhong Yuanzhong also noticed something was wrong, and immediately sat up from the chair, "He doesn't seem very comfortable."

"Of course. He's a little sentimental and easily stabbed in the heart. You remember to take care of him."

"It's natural."

Nakahara also patted Akutagawa's shoulder with some distress.Akutagawa was irritated just now, and was poked to the sore spot.

Why would Mori Ogai do this?Is it a test?To test the weight of Osamu Dazai in Akutagawa's heart?Test Akutagawa's bottom line?I don't know if it's an illusion, but Nakahara Chuya suddenly felt that people all over the world harbored malice towards Akutagawa Ryunosuke.Even Ryunosuke Akutagawa did nothing.As long as Akutagawa Ryunosuke stands there, someone will hurt him.Obviously, he looks like a person who has been wounded to the point of utter disfigurement. Obviously, one only needs to take a good look at Akutagawa to know that he is really fragile and lacks love.

The masses will not show him gratuitous kindness and concern.

Suppressing the disgust and discomfort welling up in his heart, Nakahara Nakaya stepped forward to support Ryunosuke Akutagawa, and took him away.He regretted coming with Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

He tentatively touched Akutagawa Ryunosuke's gray hair, and found that the other party did not avoid it.A little surprised that he was not slapped away, and he performed this action carefully.

"do not be sad."

"It's okay, I will adjust it myself, don't worry about it."

"That said... I will be sad."

"senior?"

Only then did Ryunosuke Akutagawa regain his composure, and looked at Chuya Nakahara.

"You adjust everything by yourself, so you never thought of asking me for help? Could it be that I have no weight in your heart these days?"

"That was not what I meant……"

"That's right, isn't the person who can make you happy and happy right in front of you?" Zhong Yuanzhong also smiled at him softly, "We are colleagues and friends."

When Zhongyuan Zhong also said this sentence, the tone seemed to be different from usual, it was no longer a tense play or tease, but more like a kind of burning fire that would make people go limp, burning and dancing in the brain, although It is uncoordinated but gives people a warm feeling that is particularly emotional.Not only the words, but Zhongyuan Zhongye's eyes and smile are also like a warm fire.

Shocked by the strange feeling brought by the other party's words, Akutagawa Ryunosuke felt an inexplicable and wonderful state of mind, and raised his hazy eyes to look at him.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke would not doubt Nakahara Chuya's sincerity when he said this.He knew what kind of person Zhongyuan Zhong was.

They are colleagues.This is an objective premise.

But they are also friends.This is a luxury suffix.

"Thank you...senior." Akutagawa Ryunosuke helplessly loosened his tense eyebrows, looked at Nakahara Nakaya, and curled his lips in a rare way, and even if you didn't look carefully, you couldn't find his slight movement.

"You are like the sun. It is really an honor to meet you."

After being directly praised as being like the sun, Zhongyuan Zhongye blushed accidentally and froze in place.

This thank you was soft and gentle, but Nakahara Chuya's earlobes and neck all turned a rose-like red, as if this thank you and this staring at each other had dyed his body red.

Akutagawa brushed back some of the broken hair that blocked his view, and smiled with difficulty, carrying a bit of untouchable holiness.Several beams of sunlight radiated along the lines and traces of his facial features like burning the sky, and brought a gust of meandering wind, plowing away the fleeting misery in his eyes like seawater droplets.What can be touched is his warm breath, and what can be seen is the tips of his pink nails.His obstinate eyes faintly revealed tiredness.His depressed and reluctant sigh was like pulling an ice string.

Chuya Nakahara's heart began to clamor.

The central organ crawling under the pale ribs began to shrink and swell rapidly like an overwhelming sea.

heartbeat.I am heartbroken.I'm already heartbroken.He suddenly understood this, but unexpectedly.

The handsome black-haired boy smiled vaguely at him in the sun.

He was so excited.

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The author has something to say:

Calling yourself "under" all the time will destroy the beauty of some sentences and atmosphere.