In this life, the love is deep and the relationship is shallow

Embarrassment and anxiety in middle age.

During dinner at night, He Jiaqi's parents kept persuading Yao Xinrui to eat more, which made Yao Xinrui always think of his high school days, a little teary, but he held back his tears.

He Jiaqi's parents let Yao Xinrui stay overnight, just to be able to accompany He Jiaqi.

Yao Xinrui thought quietly in her heart: "Xiao Qi, how lucky I am to meet you, how lucky I was to love you once, how lucky to be able to sit at the same table with my uncle and aunt now. If this can make love go further, then I I am willing to put you in the position of a best friend, no longer extravagant."

Especially at the moment when he met He Jiaqi's parents, Yao Xinrui had no other thoughts in his mind, and only wanted to spend his life with He Jiaqi well.

Now that she already has another person by her side, it is enough for her to keep guarding her side in the name of best friend.

Yao Xinrui thought that she and He Jiaqi would have some time alone, just like many years ago, at least the two of them could have a good chat about the year of rapid growth before going to bed.

However, Yao Xinrui had just finished his internship and drove to visit again. Before eight o'clock in the evening, Yao Xinrui's eyelids were already fighting and he fell asleep early.

Before going to bed, Yao Xinrui was thinking that He Jiaqi would definitely lie next to her in the morning, because she was sleeping in Xiaoqi's bed, so there would be a chance to reminisce about the past, a chance...

Waking up early the next morning, Yao Xinrui thought she could see He Jiaqi sleeping next to her, just like in high school, when she woke up, she and the sun were always there.

But when she opened her eyes, she found that she was the only one on the empty bed.

It turned out that that night, He Jiaqi slept with her mother.

Yao Xinrui's loss at that moment is difficult to express clearly in words, she stared at the empty bed in a daze for a long, long time...

After regaining consciousness, I got up to wash up, put on a bright smile, and said goodbye to He Jiaqi and He Jiaqi's parents after breakfast.On the way home, I was always in a low mood, but I was also happy to finally see He Jiaqi.

Turn on the random playback on the phone, and the singing voice flowing into my ears is "The Grow Lonely" by Milk@咖啡：

"Years later, you come back to me with insecurity filling your tired eyes.

Look at me, and tell me, do you still believe in fairy tales.

You once said to me that every heart is lonely, every heart is fragile and longs to be touched.

But your heart burns forever.Forever, never back down.

The older you get, the more lonely you become, the more disturbed you become as you grow older, and you have to open the parachute to protect you, and you suddenly understand that the road ahead is not smooth.

Could it be said that this change is, inevitable? "

The rare meeting, the unfinished words, and the mouths that have no chance to open, finally turned into the secrets in the bottom of my heart, dissipating in the life that grew lonely and lonely.

All changes are inevitable.

The author has something to say: Little cuties, let’s make the second update today~

I hope you don't feel like it's abusive.I hope you can experience the growth and love of the two at that time.Even though two people are not together, how can they just stop caring?

The balance established by two people for a long time, before they are both sure of each other, no one dares to break it easily, right?

Good morning, today is Friday, everyone can look forward to the weekend. :)

☆, face up to

Time slipped through his fingers, and in the blink of an eye, Yao Xinrui's sophomore year was about to come to an end, which also meant that He Jiaqi was about to return to China to work.

In the past two years, the connections between Yao Xinrui and He Jiaqi can be counted on one hand.

Yao Xinrui didn't know whether it was because she didn't take the initiative to contact He Jiaqi, or because He Jiaqi didn't participate in Yao Xinrui's daily life as before, or because the two of them were so busy that they couldn't find time to tell each other about daily trivial matters.

But in fact, it's all true, and it's all just excuses.

Many things have changed, even if the love in my heart has never changed, the cruelty of life and the skinny reality have made the two of them lose the passion and romance they had a few years ago.

During Yao Xinrui's two years in college, she has experienced a lot: the turning point in her studies, the departure of relatives, the betrayal of friends, the misunderstanding of teachers, the establishment of associations, the failure of exams, the hard work of internship...

Without He Jiaqi by her side, she learned to grow, take responsibility, be steady, and be optimistic by herself.

In the end, Yao Xinrui will perfectly resolve the difficulties and ups and downs she encounters, but she didn't reveal anything to He Jiaqi, but she just didn't want to add to He Jiaqi's worries.

Two years later, Yao Xinrui once again dazzled the crowd with his outstanding achievements, positive attitude, overwhelming popularity, respect earned, proud experience and love from everyone.

He Jiaqi couldn't see Yao Xinrui's entanglement and hard work in a foreign country, but felt Yao Xinrui's changes in the few exchanges.

Her speech and behavior to everyone has become polite, with a degree of conversation, sincere treatment, and a calm smile.However, he no longer had the youthful feeling that he loved most at that time, the innocence, the willful rascal, and the coquetry and cuteness that he used to have.

He Jiaqi's two years have also been very difficult. Without Yao Xinrui by her side, she has returned to her previous indifference, enthusiasm and alienation from everyone, and doing her best in everything is meaningless.

He Jiaqi didn't mention the pressure of studying in a foreign country, the language barrier, and even racial discrimination to Yao Xinrui.

Moving alone depends on public transportation, [-] round trips;

One person assembles furniture and paints walls;

A person had a high fever of [-] degrees and went to see a doctor against the cold wind;

A person suffered from food poisoning and almost went into shock, and the next day he returned to China on a cross-country flight.

My boyfriend is just a cover, I just hope that Yao Xinrui can get out of the past of the two of them, everything about Yao Xinrui is kept in the dark.

He Jiaqi understands that her life and future have already been arranged by her parents. No matter how hard she tries, she cannot escape her responsibilities to her family, her debts to her parents, and the troubles of the world.

If you let him be at his mercy, stop being "rebellious", make your family happy, get closer to Ruirui, and be stable in this world, then so be it.

When I can still control my life, enjoy the free time alone as much as possible, and recall the good times with Yao Xinrui as much as possible.

In fact, things are like this, many times, if you don’t ask, I don’t tell, this is the distance; if you ask, I don’t tell, this is the estrangement...

Yao Xinrui and He Jiaqi are like this, I hope they can understand each other without talking, but they both underestimated the power of time and space.

What's more, because of love, I dare not guess; because of love, I dare not ask.

When Yao Xinrui occasionally hears Amei's "My Dearest", she will naturally think of He Jiaqi - a lover who has never been mentioned in front of others.

Lin Xi wrote the lyrics, every sentence poignant:

"I want to know your recent situation, I've heard people say it, why don't you tell me.

After that period of regret, please rest assured that I have become stronger.

No matter how desolate the world is, if I have loved you, I am not afraid of being alone.

My dearest, how are you doing?

In the days without me, you will be fine.

Still dear, I didn't let you down, let me kiss you like in the past.

I think you must like it, now I have learned to love the most cheerful. "

Yes, Yao Xinrui has grown up, but what he misses is always missed.

He Jiaqi taught Yao Xinrui what love is and how to love.The blank time between the two of you, if you can still share it, is also a kind of romance. The care is no longer the same, but how can you just stop it? !

Yao Xinrui finally re-examined herself and the forbidden love buried deep in her heart during the three years since He Jiaqi left her.

Gradually accepting the relationship he once had with He Jiaqi, he finally got out of his cowardly shell and completely faced up to that relationship from the bottom of his heart.

Finally, three years later, Yao Xinrui dared to face and admit her love with He Jiaqi. At that time, they were "homosexuals".

Yao Xinrui is no longer afraid of such a label, because of love, so brave.

It took Yao Xinrui five years to have the courage to face all this again, and to truly face her heart.

And because of this, Yao Xinrui worked harder in the two years than any college student in the four years, trying to make herself stronger, hoping that one day she can be herself bravely, chase her love, and not be restricted by anyone, not by anyone Influenced by others, you will never give up your true love, and you can be strong enough to protect everything you hold dear.

"Xiaoqi, can you still give me this chance to say I'm sorry, I love you? Can you give me another chance to make up for my mistakes?" Yao Xinrui knew that she had never mentioned the relationship between them to He Jiaqi, and even never I didn't talk to He Jiaqi about the breakup conversation that made her regret it.

One afternoon when He Jiaqi was about to return home and Yao Xinrui was about to go on summer vacation, Cicada was loudly announcing the arrival of midsummer. The distraught Yao Xinrui was lying on the bed, thinking over and over again about the changes in her mentality over the years.

Suddenly, I felt that I owed He Jiaqi all the time, even if it was just an explanation that admitted mutual feelings.

Now that I dare to face my heart, shouldn't I also tell He Jiaqi that she understands, she understands, their love was so beautiful and sweet...

At that time, WeChat was just emerging, and the communication between the two finally stopped relying solely on emails, and shortened the waiting time for replies.

So Yao Xinrui picked up the phone and typed the following sentence: Baby, how have you been recently?I miss you all of a sudden.It took so many years for me to finally really dare to face our relationship at that time, and I hope it's not too late.We have never discussed this topic positively, maybe because we have been avoiding it.Actually, at that time, we were in love, right?I'm sorry, until now, I didn't have the courage to confess to you.

Yao Xinrui pressed the send button. Over the years, she has developed a habit. When she misses He Jiaqi very much, she will call He Jiaqi her baby and send a message.

Because this is a title she doesn't usually use, the word "baby" covers too many emotions: nostalgia, reluctance, tenderness, concern, miss...

Except for He Jiaqi, Yao Xinrui rarely used the word baby.

Unexpectedly, He Jiaqi replied very quickly, and the content of the reply surprised Yao Xinrui, which deeply hurt her sealed memory.

He Jiaqi replied to the message: "I have always faced up to our previous relationship and have not avoided this topic. It's just that you never mentioned it, and I don't have to explain it."

The shock at that moment cannot be described in words.

It was only then that Yao Xinrui knew that He Jiaqi had always understood that she had thought about it a few years ago, and then decided to be with her.

But at that time, I never faced her seriously, and was with her in the name of love ignorantly, but I didn't understand the relationship between two people at all.

Compared to He Jiaqi's courage and love, my thoughts over the past five years are nothing to be ashamed of.

Yao Xinrui secretly wanted to beat herself up. It took her five years to have the courage to face up to the relationship between them, but Xiaoqi realized five years ago that she was a rebel against the world in her heart, but she still chose to spend a crazy year with her , takes everything.

One passive, one active, Yao Xinrui thought at this time: How much He Jiaqi loved her back then, so that she could know everything clearly, protect her fragile heart, and silently bear the huge pressure from the outside world.

After this five-year-late conversation, finally, both of them face up to the past.They were once so close to love, but because of Yao Xinrui's cowardice and timidity at that time, they were destined to miss it.

Yao Xinrui asked He Jiaqi: "If the two of you hadn't broken up at that time, but had been together forever, what would have happened?"

He Jiaqi said: "I don't know, but there is no if, isn't it?"

Yes, no more assumptions, no more ifs, no more regrets, no more irreparable.

After receiving Yao Xinrui's text message, He Jiaqi deeply understood that she had never been let go of her in her heart.

But I am about to go to the Suya City Government arranged by my father to do business work, and the pressure in reality will only increase. Being in politics is not as good as doing business, and almost all of my private life will be exposed to the eyes of my colleagues.

No matter whether he has a future with Yao Xinrui or not, once the history between him and Yao Xinrui is exposed, it will not only cause turmoil about his future career, but also affect his father's position that he has fought hard for many years.

He Jiaqi is no longer a child, and she knows what is more important than what is more important. She can't, and she can't do anything with Yao Xinrui as fearlessly as she did in high school...

After that communication, Yao Xinrui truly accepted her true self, but she didn't extinguish the idea of ​​letting He Jiaqi come back to her.

If my sexual orientation is really a girl, or He Jiaqi, then I may have to face greater pressure from all walks of life, and the only thing I can do is to work harder.

Economic independence is the foundation, and spiritual independence will be realized.The economic base determines the superstructure, and we must make ourselves responsible for all actions as soon as possible.

With these few short words, Yao Xinrui has worked hard for many years, and until many years later, he is still working tirelessly to fulfill the promise he made to himself and He Jiaqi in his heart.

During the summer vacation at the end of her sophomore year, Yao Xinrui embarked on a journey of self-discovery alone. The destination: Jinan, the spring city.

A documentary novel opened up a new world for Yao Xinrui, and the growth year after year made Yao Xinrui completely understand her heart. She wants to know herself again during the journey, return to herself, and think about the road ahead.

What she saw and heard along the way made Yao Xinrui suddenly enlightened, and gradually matured in the journey of life, becoming a better herself.

The author has something to say: Xiaoqi: Ruirui, you are so stupid, you are slow, aren't you?

Ruirui: Xiaoqi, don't talk about her like that, she has already made every effort to save her.

Xiaoqi: Ruirui, I want you to be happy more than to save you.

Ruirui: Xiaoqi, how can I be happy without you?

Alright, alright, I won’t write about small theater anymore, hehe.

I seem to feel that my updates in the past few days are a bit sadistic. It may have something to do with my illness, and the main tone is gray.

However, the love and companionship between the two will last for a few more years.The estimated age of the article is 15 years, and now it has just passed five years.whee.

Thank you all for joining me in my babbling.

☆, 2.14

After He Jiaqi returned to China, she went directly to the Suya City Hall without any time to rest, let alone visit Yanbei City where Yao Xinrui was located.He Jiaqi seldom has time to breathe due to the busy working life.

Yao Xinrui entered her junior year and not only made her mark in CCTV Hope Stars and national competitions, but also won more rare internship opportunities.

When Yao Xinrui was recommended by the school to do an internship in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, by chance, Yao Xinrui had the opportunity to go to the city where He Jiaqi had studied, and retrace the path she had walked.

When Yao Xinrui finished his day's translation tasks and walked to the London Eye, he looked up at the slow-rotating Ferris wheel, and remembered the prophecy of the Ferris wheel that He Jiaqi said to himself: Looking at the Ferris wheel is looking at happiness, and every turn of the Ferris wheel It proves that lovers love each other more.

How much Yao Xinrui wished that He Jiaqi could be by her side, to accompany her to sit on the Ferris wheel and have a bird's-eye view of the night view of London, that would be such a romantic thing.

Yao Xinrui took out her mobile phone and sent He Jiaqi a message: Xiaoqi, I finally came to the city where you used to be, but you have already left, I always miss it, what a pity. (London Eye with photo)

He Jiaqi just finished socializing, took out her mobile phone and wanted to call a car, but saw a message from Yao Xinrui.

He Jiaqi, who was drunk, was dizzy, relaxed her psychological defense and replied: "Ruirui, it's a pity, but you have to take good care of yourself, there will always be a chance in the future."I miss you.

Yao Xinrui looked at He Jiaqi's reply, raised the corners of her mouth, and said silently, "Xiaoqi, you should be well, I miss you too."

Clutching the phone in his hand, Yao Xinrui walked past Westminster Abbey, Hyde Park, and the London School of Economics in the dead of night, as if following in the footsteps of He Jiaqi to explore the city again.

Fall in love with a city because of one person.

Junior year is another turning point for Yao Xinrui. As she works harder and harder, she gets more opportunities to experience and grow, and her mind tends to mature.

Many enterprises and companies that have practiced have extended olive branches to her. Although there is still more than a year before graduation, Yao Xinrui is already working on her graduation thesis, which means that Yao Xinrui can be full-time in her senior year. Added more competitive chips.

Yao Xinrui also realized that He Jiaqi's position in her heart had never changed, and she put He Jiaqi in the most important place in her heart.

The difference from three years ago is that friends who know Yao Xinrui well now know of He Jiaqi's existence, and she appears in Yao Xinrui's daily life as Yao Xinrui's best friend.

But apart from He Jiaqi, no one knew that Yao Xinrui had a special and unreplaceable affection for He Jiaqi.

At that time, He Jiaqi met a boy who once again attracted her attention at work. He was in a different department from He Jiaqi, and he was recognized as a good man in various departments of the city government.

In the winter vacation of her junior year, Yao Xinrui had only two days to spare except for the internship arrangement, while He Jiaqi had no vacation except for overtime and holidays during the Spring Festival.

It has been nearly two years since the two met last time. If they want to meet, they must accommodate each other's time.

In the end, He Jiaqi called Yao Xinrui in February and said, "Ruirui, I'm sorry, I may only be free on the evening of February 2th, can you come to Suya City to accompany me?"

Yao Xinrui said without any hesitation, "Okay, wait for me."

Yao Xinrui joked: "Xiaoqi, do you know what day it is? You really know how to choose. I will book a hotel in advance, otherwise I will really sleep on the street."

He Jiaqi blushed a bit and said, "Okay, thank you, Ruirui."

On February 2th, Valentine's Day of that year, Western festivals in China have risen.

Valentine's Day is one of the most prosperous ones. On that day, every hotel in the city will be full, and reservations in advance may not necessarily have rooms.

Yao Xinrui hung up the phone and immediately searched for a hotel in Suya City that was closer to He Jiaqi's unit, booked a standard room and paid in advance.

This was one of the few things Yao Xinrui could do for He Jiaqi at that time.

Yao Xinrui mentioned to her parents that she asked for leave on Valentine's Day, but she couldn't be at home and went to other cities.

Both parents showed surprised expressions. Over the years, they all knew that Yao Xinrui had never had the habit of going out on Valentine's Day, let alone asking for leave because of Valentine's Day, but this time was an exception.

Yao Xinrui's mother asked, "Ruirui, are you going on a date?"

"Yeah." Yao Xinrui didn't want to answer too much. Although she didn't lie to her mother about anything these years, she was more and more in control of her own life. Seeing Yao Xinrui growing up better and better, she let it go naturally.

"Where are you going?" Mother asked with concern.

"Suya City." Yao Xinrui replied.

Without the slightest hesitation, the mother asked directly, "To find He Jiaqi?"

As soon as the words fell, Yao Xinrui was very surprised. She didn't expect her mother to know directly and speak out without hesitation.Gathering his mind, he simply replied, "Yes."

The mother said considerately and tolerantly: "Well, go then, pay attention to safety, and come back and tell me."

At that time, her parents were still in Yunbin City, and Yao Xinrui had lived in Yanbei City by herself for three years.

Yao Xinrui thanked her mother for her understanding, and later asked her mother, why did she directly guess that she was looking for He Jiaqi?

Mother said: She is only here with He Jiaqi, she will be desperate, even if she asks for leave for a meeting, even if it is Valentine's Day, she will not care.Sensibility is always better than reason.

Yao Xinrui was embarrassed, after so many years, even her mother still understood her thoughts, so why didn't He Jiaqi understand?

April 2

Before He Jiaqi got off work, Yao Xinrui arrived in Suya City.

That day was Valentine's Day, and it was also the first time that Yao Xinrui met He Jiaqi's "lover". The reason why he called it "lover" was because this man was irreplaceable to He Jiaqi for the rest of his life, perhaps his true love.

He Jiaqi had mentioned this man to Yao Xinrui before, a colleague from a different department.

At the beginning, He Jiaqi was just tempted, but she wasn't sure if this man would be like many boys before, just passing by, but due to various factors, this man became the most special one to her.

Gradually, my heart was slowly occupied by this man.

The boy was going home to visit his relatives that day, and the train station where he departed was the same as the one where Yao Xinrui arrived.

He Jiaqi asked Yao Xinrui if he could take him to see her. Although Yao Xinrui was momentarily disappointed, he couldn't refuse He Jiaqi's request.

Yao Xinrui decided to wait for them at the coffee shop next to the station, and it took about two hours.

He Jiaqi finally appeared, and of course her him.

Yao Xinrui was a little surprised when he saw He Jiaqi for the first time: He Jiaqi's face was filled with a bright and happy smile, and the boys could be considered doting on He Jiaqi.

Yao Xinrui's surprised smile was just to tell He Jiaqi that she wasn't upset, and she just wanted to see what kind of person he was.

In Yao Xinrui's heart, He Jiaqi is like a precious treasure that no one can touch, because she can't imagine what kind of man can be worthy of the most precious person in his heart.

At this time, they are 22 years old, and they can no longer describe each other simply as girls.

He Jiaqi has the charm and shyness of a small woman, and Yao Xinrui has the familiarity and calmness of a big woman.

Looking at the way He Jiaqi looked at the man, Yao Xinrui knew that He Jiaqi really liked him very much.

The mind can deceive oneself and others, but the eyes can never deceive oneself or others.

This is the law that Yao Xinrui knew many years ago when they were still together.

That kind of attachment and liking is like overflowing with rainwater. If Yao Xinrui hadn't betrayed everything to He Jiaqi's eyes, she might not have understood it like this.

Yao Xinrui chatted with them in a relaxed tone and made fun of them. The growth of these years also taught Yao Xinrui how to hide the love in his eyes so that He Jiaqi would not see it.

He Jiaqi's happy appearance seemed familiar when talking and laughing, because Yao Xinrui had seen it before.

Yao Xinrui, who originally had different expectations for this date, gave up the original plan after ten minutes, and wanted to confess to He Jiaqi again, on a special day like Valentine's Day.

And now seeing that she has found the other half in love, Yao Xinrui only wants her to be happy, as long as he can give him everything that he can't give to He Jiaqi, then he hopes to leave all the happiness to He Jiaqi, and wish her well and everything will be fine ...

After He Jiaqi sent her boyfriend away, Yao Xinrui took her to a taxi and went to the pre-booked hotel. It was almost eleven o'clock by then.

It coincided with Valentine's Day and the hotel was full. When they arrived at the hotel, they had their only room card left, which was placed in the most obvious place of the reception counter by the front desk staff waiting for someone to claim it.

The most interesting thing is that when the two girls walked into the lobby at the same time, they obviously felt the embarrassment of the front desk and the service staff, with surprised expressions.

After the two of them claimed the room card, there were naturally rustling discussions behind them.

The two looked at each other, raised the corners of their mouths and smiled, they understood each other, probably everyone misunderstood the relationship between the two of them.

It’s strange to say that God’s arrangements are always so dramatic. On 2.14, two people who were once lovers but couldn’t make it public, spent a Valentine’s Day together blatantly after breaking up. Their thoughts on each other are purer than when they first met .

The two of them entered the room and started laughing. In front of He Jiaqi, Yao Xinrui didn't have the mask in front of others as a disguise, and rolled on the bed laughing, but also recalled the past, and felt that good fortune was still a bit messed up. people.

The two hadn't seen each other for a long time, and they didn't feel embarrassed. They sat on the bed and chatted about everything that had happened in the past two years.

Yao Xinrui finally understood some details about He Jiaqi's work and her relationship status.

To Yao Xinrui's surprise, He Jiaqi actually took out a "Valentine's Day gift" for Yao Xinrui from her backpack. It wasn't actually, but every time He Jiaqi went on a trip, she had the habit of bringing Yao Xinrui a souvenir.

Yao Xinrui didn't express her emotion, but it was sweet in her heart.It turned out that her Xiaoqi hadn't forgotten her, and it turned out that she was still thinking about her all the time.

The time of chatting always passed quickly. During the chatting process, there were various sounds and various bed vibrations from the surroundings. The two of them would laugh for a long time when they heard it, but they also blushed. After all, the two were also lovers .

In a blink of an eye, it was 03:30 in the morning, Yao Xinrui had to rush back to Yanbei City the next day, and He Jiaqi had to go back to Yunhai City to visit relatives, the two decided to wash up and go to sleep.

When I booked the room, I didn’t specify whether it was a standard room or a big bed room. Maybe the hotel defaulted that everyone likes the big bed room. After all, it’s Valentine’s Day.

When it was time to go to bed, Yao Xinrui's heart was a little complicated. In the big bed room, the last time they shared the same bed was about five years ago.

Valentine's Day even gave birth to Yao Xinrui's inner entanglement. In the early hours of the morning, she couldn't hold back her feelings for He Jiaqi.

In fact, she didn't want to do anything, she just wanted to be the same as before, and it was enough to quietly hug He Jiaqi to sleep.

But Yao Xinrui also clearly knew that this was a bit out of bounds, after all, He Jiaqi already had a real lover, so she couldn't do anything else.

How much she wished that He Jiaqi was still single, still waiting, she could still have a chance to redeem her.But, it's too late, after all, her Xiaoqi has been waiting for too long...

Yao Xinrui's rationality controlled her behavior, and she simply said good night.

After that, she couldn't fall asleep for a long time, and after listening to He Jiaqi's breathing gradually stabilized, she turned her head and stared at He Jiaqi quietly for a long time, the unstoppable love in her eyes was buried by the night, until she fell into a drowsy sleep.

The next morning, both of them woke up at almost the same time.

Yao Xinrui woke up a little earlier, looked at her phone, and looked at He Jiaqi, at this time He Jiaqi also slowly opened her eyes.

Yao Xinrui almost couldn't help but want to give He Jiaqi a good morning kiss for a moment. Five years have passed, and the habit is still clear...

Yao Xinrui tightly clenched her fists under the quilt, controlled her impulse, and the good morning kiss turned into a gentle good morning.

Waking up every day, you and the sun are here, that is the future I want...

If not every day, then just waking up today, with you and the sun, is enough.

The two of them simply cleaned up, and Yao Xinrui wanted to take the train back, so it didn't matter if he went back and forth, just to meet He Jiaqi.

Before walking out of the room, Yao Xinrui wanted to give He Jiaqi a hug and even kiss her desperately before turning the latch.

When I couldn't control myself several times, I bit my tongue desperately to wake myself up, and when I was about to fail at the end, I shook my head and opened the door.

Yao Xinrui was scared. She was afraid that this move would affect the stable balance between them, and she was even more afraid that He Jiaqi would mind these actions and stay away from her.

She couldn't, let alone dare to try, because she was afraid of what might happen, because she didn't know He Jiaqi's feelings for her now.

She, no, dare, bet.

After the two had a simple breakfast, they bid farewell and left, reluctantly.They all understand that goodbye may be a long time away.

On the way back, Yao Xinrui couldn't restrain her emotions again, and sent a message to He Jiaqi: "Baby, do you know that when I left just now, I wanted to hug you and even kiss you?"

"Then why not?" He Jiaqi responded quickly as if waiting for her message.

"Because I dare not, I am afraid that you will refuse, and you already have him." Yao Xinrui closed her eyes, feeling the tears streaming down the corners of her eyes.

"If you don't try, how do you know I will refuse?" He Jiaqi replied again.

Yao Xinrui didn't know how to deal with He Jiaqi's reply, she had already missed the best time to ask for a kiss, so it would be useless to say more now.

However, Yao Xinrui understood from He Jiaqi's reply: they are still them, the love is still there, it's just in a different form.Not wanting to change, but having to change.

Yao Xinrui didn't expect that at that time, in fact, she couldn't let go at all, and even the loss and retreat at that moment would torture her in the future.

The author has something to say: cuties, just after Valentine's Day, let's update a plot related to Valentine's Day.

I may end the article this weekend, about two to three updates a day.Refill~~~

If you have any comments and suggestions, remember to tell me.

☆, each

If there are only a few people in this world who understand Yao Xinrui, He Jiaqi must be one of them.

Then Yao Xinrui could hide the sadness and sadness buried in his heart when they met He Jiaqi's boyfriend, but he couldn't hide it from He Jiaqi.

He Jiaqi's feelings for Yao Xinrui have not changed from the beginning to the end, but the parents' expectations of He Jiaqi and the special nature of work make it difficult for the two to get back together, and her boyfriend's help and concern for He Jiaqi in life and work are also slow. Slowly, He Jiaqi, who yearns for stability, shakes the idea of ​​wanting to grow old with Yao Xinrui.

He Jiaqi has won many large-scale project negotiations, and her performance in the Suya Municipal Government is very outstanding. This is inseparable from He Jiaqi's long-term desire to win more right to speak for herself.

Regardless of her status at work or at home, He Jiaqi wants to have more freedom to choose, and doesn't want to be controlled by her parents forever.

He Jiaqi's supervisor talked to He Jiaqi and suggested that He Jiaqi strike while the iron was hot and go to Jiangbei City to train at the grassroots level for a year, and then had the opportunity to leave Suya and go to Yanbei City.

Yanbei City is the center of politics and power, and only when he arrives there is a great opportunity for He Jiaqi to display his ambitions.It's just that in Jiangbei City this year, he will suffer somewhat. After all, it is backward in the mountainous area, and various facilities and personnel are not as perfect as Suya City.

The supervisor gave He Jiaqi a few days to think about it, but He Jiaqi immediately gave an affirmative answer.

Not only because of the bright career, but also because going to Yanbei City means getting closer to Yao Xinrui.

Even if you can't stay together, company is enough.

In this decision, the existence of her boyfriend hardly had any impact on He Jiaqi. At that time, He Jiaqi did not put her boyfriend in consideration of the future, even though she liked him.

Before He Jiaqi left, she just sent Yao Xinrui a brief WeChat message.

Yao Xinrui was worried that He Jiaqi's body would not be able to withstand the harsh conditions in Jiangbei City, but she only said three words: "Okay."

When He Jiaqi went to the grassroots level, the hardware facilities were not up to standard. He Jiaqi could only wash her body with mountain spring water every day, conduct household surveys, and visit every county in person every time to understand the suffering of the villagers and formulate poverty alleviation policies.

At the beginning, no one took a young girl like He Jiaqi seriously. He Jiaqi was not discouraged, and she visited her door over and over again. After a long time, everyone opened their hearts to He Jiaqi.

After a while, He Jiaqi's name spread in every county, even in the village.

The poverty alleviation policy formulated by He Jiaqi has achieved results in the past few months, and the county and village chiefs are full of gratitude to He Jiaqi.

Naturally, He Jiaqi's work performance also fell into the eyes of her superiors. Within half a year, He Jiaqi had been promoted from the main department to the deputy department, which is very rare for a person under 24 years old.

The summer vacation of junior year is approaching, and Yao Xinrui, who is about to finish her graduation thesis, is not only sent to the Ministry of Education for a full-time internship by the school again, but also has to study the professional courses of junior and senior years to take the exam. Two or three hours of sleep a day survived.

No one knows how Yao Xinrui spent his junior year. He completed his undergraduate thesis ahead of schedule during the high-intensity full-time internship, and successfully passed several major exams. The final exam was all self-study and he still ranked first in his grade.

Everyone said that Yao Xinrui's life was cheating, but no one knew that Yao Xinrui was ridiculed by everyone at the bottom of his high school class, and no one knew that Yao Xinrui's sub-health was already very serious. The cervical spine was misaligned by 8mm, and he relied on the occasional weekend massage for the blind. .

A dislocation of 3 mm is unbearable for most people and almost requires surgery, but Yao Xinrui pretends to be nothing in the internship unit every day, fearing that his hard work and hard-won achievements will be in vain due to physical reasons.

Every day in her junior year, Yao Xinrui happily went to work with a "Yao Xinrui-style" smile, and didn't rush home to review her homework and write papers until the daily work was cleared.

When I looked up from the book, it was two or three o'clock in the morning every time. I twisted my stiff neck and back, turned on the phone and wanted to ask if He Jiaqi was okay, but I was afraid of disturbing her rest, so I had to give up.

In the end, just plug in the earphones and turn on the single loop, Mayday's "You Are Not Really Happy":

"The crowd was crying, you just want to be a transparent color.

You will never have dreams, or pain, or heartbeats again.

You have already made up your mind, and you endured it quietly, holding yesterday tightly in your fist.

And the sweeter the memory, the more hurtful it is, the more dense, deep and shallow cuts are left on the palm of the hand.

You are not really happy, your smile is just a protective color that you wear.

You decide not to hate, and you decide not to love, shutting your soul in a body that is locked forever.

The world laughed, so you laughed together.

When survival is the rule, not your choice.

So with tears in your eyes, you wandered and stumbled.

Your wound never fully healed, I stood on your left side, but it seemed like there was a Milky Way across, could it be that I really held regrets until I was old, and then I regretted it.

Why lose and still be punished?Can you just let all the sadness end at this moment, and start living again..."

Yao Xinrui is indeed getting more and more dazzling, more and more excellent, more and more hardworking, but more and more unhappy, less and less happy, more and more difficult.Why not He Jiaqi?

They all learned to pretend, to smile, and to be calm, but they lost the truth and hysteria they once had in front of their lovers.

Maybe people will always make unreasonable troubles in front of their lovers, but after their lovers turn around and leave, their emotions are invisible, hiding their inner joys and sorrows, just because that person is no longer there.

Finally, when the summer vacation was approaching, Yao Xinrui received a call from He Jiaqi.

"Rui Rui, it's me, are you okay?" Just like the opening remarks.

"Xiaoqi, everything is fine with me, how about you? Are you adapting to Jiangbei City?" The two never told each other about their growth and pain, but they only cared about each other's well-being.

"I'm fine too. I'll report to Yanbei City this Thursday. Do you have time so we can meet?" He Jiaqi asked tentatively.

"when