In this life, the love is deep and the relationship is shallow

explanation, that's the best conclusion, isn't it?

What He Jiaqi didn't know was that Yao Xinrui had thought carefully about the seat at the time: let He Jiaqi sit in a position where he could always see her at a glance, so that he could move around without anyone noticing. His eyes were fixed on He Jiaqi at any time.

Therefore, Yao Xinrui actually pays attention to He Jiaqi at all times. She knows her every move, every frown and smile, and every word she says. Looking at He Jiaqi, who is so familiar and yet a little strange from a distance, Yao Xinrui will always unconsciously feel that jealous.

Sometimes I wonder why I have to push her away?But looking at He Jiaqi who was smiling more and more, she felt that everything was worth it.

From time to time, He Jiaqi seemed to be able to feel Yao Xinrui's gaze, and turned her head naturally, just in time to meet Yao Xinrui's gaze.They raised the corners of their mouths, looked at each other for a few seconds, and then continued to lower their heads to write questions.

Two people can read each other's lips with a tacit understanding, and they can understand each other's demands with a small movement.

Many years later, Yao Xinrui still misses that the two of them had a tacit understanding at that time, and He Jiaqi was the only one who would understand her even if she didn't talk about it.

In Yao Xinrui's youthful years, He Jiaqi has always been the person who understands her best, bar none.

Between two people, language becomes redundant and complicated...

The author has something to say: neither sweet nor cruel is just right, right? ? ? ?

This is life, hee hee.

There are more messages from the cuties, I'm happy.Ask a question: Do you like open endings? HE or BE? (naughty face)

Although the ending was already envisioned when the article was written, I still want to see your thoughts.Refill~

☆, parting

Time passed casually, Yao Xinrui counted down the countdown to parting.

At the same time, He Jiaqi was preparing for the exam in a short period of time. When she encountered problems in her studies, she always wanted to discuss them with Yao Xinrui.

Yao Xinrui was always very resistant. After all, her grades were not among the best in the past. Even if it was a discussion, Yao Xinrui couldn't give He Jiaqi a satisfactory answer.

Every time at this time, Yao Xinrui's self-confidence is hit, and the powerlessness of being unable to provide help to the person she loves the most will make her feel extremely sad, and she deeply despises and loathes herself, why is her head not the same as it used to be? I have a flash!

Yao Xinrui couldn't answer the questions, so she had to encourage He Jiaqi to ask other students. Although she was reluctant in her heart, for He Jiaqi's dream, her inner awkwardness was nothing.

But He Jiaqi disagreed every time, preferring to spend more time and find various resources to answer by herself.

It's just because He Jiaqi cares too much about Yao Xinrui's inner feelings, and she doesn't want to waste other people's time. After all, they are not Yao Xinrui, they don't care about her at all, they just seize all the time to care about completing their own homework.

Two weeks later, under Yao Xinrui's urging, He Jiaqi finally took the first step.

Holding the IELTS exercises in his hand, he timidly asked a boy who was very good at studying and had a very sunny personality.Whenever He Jiaqi has any questions, this boy is willing to answer them.

After a while, He Jiaqi suddenly walked up to Yao Xinrui's seat during her lunch break and sat down.

I don't know if it was a secret test, or a real thought, tugged on Yao Xinrui's clothes, and asked in a low voice: "Ruirui, I...I seem to like him a little bit. Are you angry?"

Yao Xinrui's heart was slightly tugged, and she pulled out a self-conscious smile and said, "Idiot, of course not. With his help, you will make great progress!"

He Jiaqi listened to Yao Xinrui's answer, looked into Yao Xinrui's eyes, and felt relieved after a moment of loss.

After that, Yao Xinrui would occasionally create opportunities for He Jiaqi and the boys to be alone.

But the inner struggle, heartache and bitterness never showed again, at least, she tried not to show it.

Watching He Jiaqi talking and laughing with the boys while discussing exercises from a distance, Yao Xinrui repeated Lin Junjie's "Origin" in his mind:

"It turns out that the most painful expression is actually without emotion. It turns out that the most cruel picture can be sweet talk. I don't know how to love you more, Shadow sarcastically followed me inseparably. It turns out that the loneliest thing is that I still think that way You. It turns out that the saddest thing is that I can't face myself. You, clean up, I will too, without leaving any traces. "

She is unwilling to be a friend or a lover, she hopes that He Jiaqi knows, but also hopes that He Jiaqi does not know, but what she is most afraid of is that He Jiaqi knows but pretends not to know.

But at that time, Yao Xinrui knew that He Jiaqi was the happiness she couldn't give, so as long as she was happy, she would be happy too.

If you can't ask for extravagance, since you can't have it, then choose to fulfill it.

At that time, the relationship between the two people had completely stabilized, and they stayed by each other's side in the name of friends.

Therefore, even if He Jiaqi fell in love with someone else, Yao Xinrui would give everything she had, and only hoped that she would always be happy and never selfishly lock He Jiaqi by her side.

However, Yao Xinrui's inexplicable little thoughts still betray her heart, and Yao Xinrui often has the illusion that they have never broken up and are still together.

Obviously I let go of it myself, but I still miss the tenderness of the past.

Of course, how could He Jiaqi not understand Yao Xinrui, but she knew that she was about to leave, so Yao Xinrui could adapt to life without her as soon as possible.

Even so, Yao Xinrui often felt that He Jiaqi was acting like a baby to her, and there was something different in her attitude towards her and the way she looked at her.

But she didn't know if it was just her own illusion, she didn't dare to guess, she didn't allow herself to think too much, she didn't dare to break the balance established by the two of them, she just wanted the years to be peaceful.

Yao Xinrui never knew He Jiaqi's real thoughts at that time, let alone the happiness and disappointment hidden in He Jiaqi's heart.If she didn't say it, she wouldn't be able to figure it out. If she said too much, it would only make He Jiaqi angry.

Yao Xinrui thinks she is perfect, very selfish, and biased, but He Jiaqi has always been the deepest attachment in her heart.

She missed the days when she had nothing to say, but she also knew that it was not her, nor her, but them who couldn't go back.

Perhaps, the only constant thing between them is their relationship, the kind that no matter what happens, they know each other: they will always be the one in their hearts, they will always have each other's true hearts, and they will never give up each other's firmness .

That year, they were 17 years old.

In early summer, He Jiaqi took the IELTS and AP exams arranged by her parents as scheduled. Yao Xinrui silently wrote Xiaoqi on her blog, come on.

The four words represent her blessings, encouragement and reluctance to her.

He Jiaqi's exam is not in Yunbin City, Yao Xinrui can't see her, let alone dare to disturb her, so he can only worry about it quietly.

After He Jiaqi's exam was over, the first thing she did was to call Yao Xinrui.

"Ruirui, I've finished the exam, have you behaved these days when I'm not here?" He Jiaqi's tone was full of joy and indulgence.

"Xiao Qi, how was the exam? Of course I did. While studying hard, I miss you very much." Yao Xinrui said truthfully.

The conversation between the two is still like lovers, but they both know that the balance of the scale will not be broken easily, and the relationship between them is beyond the understanding of others.

Whether it's Yao Xinrui or He Jiaqi, each will always hold a special place in their hearts, and naturally the way they speak will be different from others.

When they met again, Yao Xinrui understood that He Jiaqi's days by her side could almost be counted on his fingers.

While waiting for the results of IELTS and AP exams, He Jiaqi received intensive training for applying to schools.

Seeing the invisible pressure on He Jiaqi's shoulders, Yao Xinrui wanted to help, but there was nothing she could do. There was no way to help her relieve the pressure, so she could only quietly stay by He Jiaqi's side without causing trouble.

Every day waiting for the score, He Jiaqi was very disturbed.

If you want to get a perfect result and live up to your efforts, you will also win another possibility for them in the future;

But she didn't want her grades to meet the standard, so she would be forced to leave Yao Xinrui, she didn't want to.

During this long wait, Yao Xinrui once again accompanied He Jiaqi in class, after class, chatting, and eating like she did in the first year of high school.

The parents of each other no longer obstructed too much. After all, they all understand that this is the last time for the two children to be together carefree. Facing the unknown future, no one knows what will happen.

The scores were announced, and He Jiaqi gave her parents a satisfactory answer with an excellent score of 7.5 in IELTS and 4.5 in AP.

Yao Xinrui was sincerely happy for He Jiaqi, as if she had won 500 million.

He Jiaqi's second-year high school exam, the knowledge system has not yet been perfected, and the short preparation time has achieved a result that is difficult for ordinary college students to obtain.If it were me, I wouldn't even pass half of the exam.

During He Jiaqi's subsequent school application, every minute and every second was filled with nostalgia for Yao Xinrui, nostalgia for her class, nostalgia for high school life, and Yao Xinrui saw it all.

In order to leave the last best memory for He Jiaqi in high school, Yao Xinrui tried her best to fulfill every little wish of He Jiaqi.

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui to sing to her, and Yao Xinrui sang to her one by one;

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui to hold her hand, so Yao Xinrui went round and round the playground;

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui to study hard, so Yao Xinrui did the exercises one by one;

He Jiaqi wants Yao Xinrui to be with her all the time, and Yao Xinrui is by her side every minute;

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui to be happy every day, so Yao Xinrui made funny faces one by one;

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui to live a good life, and Yao Xinrui listed them all;

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui not to miss her, so Yao Xinrui just got used to it;

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui to be optimistic and strong, so Yao Xinrui gradually became cheerful;

He Jiaqi wanted Yao Xinrui to talk to her about love, and Yao Xinrui told her every word.

Yao Xinrui wanted to engrave He Jiaqi deeply in her memory in the last time, but she didn't occupy all of He Jiaqi's time like before.

Loving someone is not possession, but companionship, protection, and fulfillment.

In He Jiaqi's world, she should not be alone, but should also be accompanied by her family and friends.

Yao Xinrui's memories of the last two people's time blurred the details, but her reluctance, attachment and unspeakable sadness are still clear and palpable.

During the days when He Jiaqi was waiting for the admission notice, due to various external reasons, they were asked not to communicate with each other, not even a simple text message or phone call.

Love, for them who have known each other for two years and are nearly 18 years old, is still a luxury they cannot afford.

This luxury made Yao Xinrui realize the reality and could only stay away from it.

Even if the two of them are about to separate and go to a different place, they dare not say I love you again, and dare not bring up that "forbidden love" that everyone thinks.

Yao Xinrui didn't know that while He Jiaqi was waiting anxiously, she was desperately fighting for any possibility of contacting Yao Xinrui.

More than ten days later, in midsummer, Yao Xinrui received a long-lost call: her Xiaoqi was admitted to the London School of Economics and Political Science.The world's top university with a long-standing reputation in the UK, one of the "G5 Super Elite Universities", has a reputation in the social sciences, finance, and political and business circles.

Due to pressure from her parents and the outside world, He Jiaqi did not announce the news of studying abroad until she finally left, and left in the name of transferring to another school.Only Yao Xinrui knew the truth. When the students thought that Yao Xinrui must know something and asked Yao Xinrui curiously about He Jiaqi's whereabouts, Yao Xinrui didn't mention the truth, only saying that he didn't know.

Because Yao Xinrui had promised He Jiaqi and had not kept the lifetime promise, so she always had to fulfill such a small request.

With He Jiaqi's departure, Yao Xinrui's whole world seemed to lose its color and her heart was hollowed out.

Many years later, Yao Xinrui still remembers it vividly in retrospect, and his heart is still dull.

What she didn't know was how reluctant He Jiaqi was at the time, how many things she wanted to say but didn't say, how many grievances she wanted to cry but swallowed.

But for the sake of freedom and choice in the future, and for the sake of staying together in the future, He Jiaqi chose to bear it silently alone.

Even though He Jiaqi is gone, Yao Xinrui is still holding on to the last glimmer of hope. After all, He Jiaqi has gone to college, so she will be relatively free, so will she have more free time and can contact me, just like she is still by my side? ?

Could it be that although the two of them are from different countries, they can be together again when she is admitted to university a year later?

Is it possible for them to be together when He Jiaqi returns to China in the future, or goes abroad by herself?

If so, Yao Xinrui is willing to wait a year for the future.

Life always has so many however.

However, this is just Yao Xinrui's simple and innocent thoughts.

The truth is, every day after He Jiaqi left, Yao Xinrui deeply felt the feeling of longing and hopelessness...

The author has something to say: Ruirui: Xiaoqi, you are so cruel, how can you bear to leave me?

Xiaoqi: Because, I love you.

I don't think it's cruel, right?

Refill!have a good weekend!

☆, lonely

Regarding the days when He Jiaqi was about to leave, Yao Xinrui's memory seemed to have been formatted. She couldn't remember how they spent it, couldn't remember the final parting, and couldn't remember the sadness of the two being separated.

It's like self-protection in the subconscious: forget the most painful and difficult time, forget the sadness and sadness, and leave in the memory the last goodness.

In the third year of high school, when the school started again, Yao Xinrui was no longer accompanied by He Jiaqi. The pressure of study, the eight-hour time difference between the two places, and the expensive communication fees made it impossible for the two of them to contact each other at any time.

He Jiaqi wandered the streets of London alone, overwhelmed by loneliness and longing, but it was hard to find Yao Xinrui.

Yao Xinrui wandered alone in their campus, memories and sorrows engulfed her, but she was no longer comforted by He Jiaqi.

The two lost contact like a kite with a broken string.

Yao Xinrui thought that she was used to the days without her by her side,

Yao Xinrui thought that she could bear the life without her company,

Yao Xinrui thought that she could at least learn how to spend the next senior year of high school alone,

But in fact, that's all she thought.

He Jiaqi is in a foreign country, in the midst of traffic, I don't know how much Yao Xinrui misses her in the days without her...

Yao Xinrui would still look at He Jiaqi's seat once in a while during class, hoping that He Jiaqi would look back with a tacit understanding, but she didn't;

Yao Xinrui would still happily walk to He Jiaqi's seat when encountering a problem, hoping that He Jiaqi could answer it patiently, but she was not there;

Yao Xinrui will still think of He Jiaqi at any time, whether it is joy, anger, sorrow or joy, and hopes that He Jiaqi will listen to her tenderly, but she can't;

Yao Xinrui will still run laps and laps on the playground, hoping that He Jiaqi is still by her side, interlocking fingers with her, but she won't;

Yao Xinrui will still stay a little longer after school,

Yao Xinrui would still look at the blue things in a daze,

Yao Xinrui will still go to the restaurant they used to love to eat,

Yao Xinrui will still call the mobile phone that has long been empty,

It's as if she's still around...

Yao Xinrui will no longer go to class, leave school, or eat with anyone;

Yao Xinrui will never mention He Jiaqi in front of anyone again;

Yao Xinrui will no longer show her emotions on her face;

Yao Xinrui will no longer be childish;

Yao Xinrui will no longer be willful;

Yao Xinrui will no longer shed tears easily;

Yao Xinrui will not open her heart easily again;

And all of this was just because of He Jiaqi's departure, which made her unable to adapt but grew up instantly.

People will always experience, at a certain moment, suddenly grow up.

In the days without her lover by her side, Yao Xinrui found her former self in a short time.

He was smiling and cheerful at everyone, but no one knew that Yao Xinrui would look up at the sky when he missed He Jiaqi.

"This is Xiaoqi's favorite color ever." Tears rolled down the corners of Yao Xinrui's eyes, and then dried in the anxious and flustered atmosphere of the third year of high school exam preparation.

He Jiaqi on the other side, at the beginning, would fall asleep in deep missing of Yao Xinrui every day;

Every day I want to tell Yao Xinrui something new and interesting;

Every day, I must resist the urge to contact Yao Xinrui;

Until the endless documents, endless research, endless papers, and endless projects took up all my time, the frequency of Yao Xinrui's appearance in my mind gradually decreased.

Occasionally I think of it, I only hope that my lover who is thousands of kilometers away is doing well...

Missing He Jiaqi is difficult for Yao Xinrui. He will think of He Jiaqi anytime and anywhere, miss everything about her, and miss the 24 months they have gone through.

She doesn't speak because no one can understand;

She does not write because it cannot be described;

She locked the memory that only belonged to them, because she didn't want anyone to steal their exclusive memory;

She closed her heart, and no one can easily walk into her heart and understand the real her;

She didn't give others a chance, and she didn't give herself a chance, as if she was punishing herself for being cruel to He Jiaqi, and she was punishing herself for not being brave enough to let them separate.

Although everyone's speech and behavior have become polite and well-spoken, it is no longer difficult to deliver sincerity.

In the end, two people appeared in each other's lives and changed the trajectory of their lives.

For Yao Xinrui, He Jiaqi is her exclusive angel, and no one can easily replace her.

Whenever he finished brushing the questions late at night, Yao Xinrui would turn on the MP3 player, let his thoughts ravage the time of a song, then wipe away his tears and pretend to be calm the next day, with only Yanbei University in mind.

And this song will always be "Exclusive Angel" on a single cycle.

"I won't blame you for pretending to me. Angels should hide their wings in the world. People are stupid and reckless but you are slender and kind. How can you be bruised for me? The warmth of your small palm is thick, you can always Calms my restless nights.

The dream that I dare not imagine is through your eyes, and I see it is in front of me. No one can snatch you away from me.

You are my exclusive angel, only I can monopolize, no one can replace you in my heart.

With an exclusive angel, I don't need any other wishes.

A small palm with great strength, I will definitely fly like you, the place you want to go is my direction.

If you hadn't appeared, I would still be asleep.Desperately thinking that life is only night, no one can snatch you away from my side..."

One evening a few weeks later, Yao Xinrui suddenly received a strange call starting with +4420. He thought it was some advertisement harassment, so he answered impatiently: "Hi, hello, who are you?"

The other party hesitated for a second, and said, "Rui Rui, it's me..."

In a word, Yao Xinrui's eyes turned red instantly, holding back the tears, "Xiaoqi, is it really you? How are you doing over there? Do you have the habit of eating? Do you have the habit of living? Are you not used to it?" ?”

A series of questions like cannonballs finally made the other party laugh.

"Ruirui, why do you look like a child who can't eat candy, you have a bunch of questions, which one do you want me to answer first?" He Jiaqi teased.

"I'm fine, everything is fine, but I'm too busy and tired with homework, I rarely have the opportunity to contact you, don't worry, do you want to know well?" He Jiaqi continued.

"Well, Xiaoqi, I will take good care of myself. As long as you are well, I will be at ease." Yao Xinrui quickly replied.

After speaking, the conversation fell into a brief silence.

The two of them have too much to say, but they don't know where to start. They just hope that each other can be as they promised, and that's enough.

"Ruirui, do you miss me?" He Jiaqi asked after a few seconds.

"Of course, I miss you very much, but I'm really not used to it when you're not around." Yao Xinrui said hastily before He Jiaqi's voice fell.

"Ruirui, I know, so do I." He Jiaqi didn't hide it.

"Xiao Qi, is there anything you need over there? Is there any snacks you want to eat, or something else? I'll mail them to you." Yao Xinrui didn't know how to express her love in such a long-distance situation. , just simply do something for the lover.

"Rui Rui, as long as you are doing well, that's what makes me the happiest. It's just that I want to listen to Chinese songs, but it's not very convenient in the UK. It would be nice if you could sing for me by your side."

He Jiaqi sighed, and then said, "Ruirui, I'm going to class. The professor doesn't like Asians being late. I want to change their minds about Chinese students. You must study hard and take good care of yourself, you know?"

"Well, Xiaoqi, I will, don't worry. Go to class and eat well. Remember to write me your address by email." Yao Xinrui hung up the phone reluctantly. personal thoughts.

Yao Xinrui just secretly wrote down the Chinese song that He Jiaqi accidentally mentioned.

On November 11th after He Jiaqi left Yao Xinrui, it was her first birthday alone and without Yao Xinrui by her side.

The next day, He Jiaqi received the EMS delivery slip and glanced at the sender. Yao Xinrui filled in that column. He Jiaqi didn't know whether to be happy or sad.

It turns out that Ruirui still remembers, but after such a long distance, what exactly did you send?

He Jiaqi is not stupid, maybe the value of this package is not as high as the postage.

He Jiaqi brought back a big and heavy package from the post office and walked back to her apartment.

When I opened the package, I saw a bunch of snacks that I always bought for Yao Xinrui when I was pampering her two years ago: white rabbit toffee, crystal love jelly, and even a row of Wahaha...

There is no shortage of delicious chocolates, candies, and biscuits in London supermarkets, but these items sent by Yao Xinrui are considered rare in the UK, and they may not be available in the Asian Super League.

The key is that she understands Yao Xinrui's heart, which is full of memories of the two of them.

Then what she saw was a Monchhichi doll. He Jiaqi took a closer look and found that the doll was dressed in blue plaid. She was licking her fingers while holding a half heart in the other hand.

Obviously, these are a couple dolls, and the other one is in Yao Xinrui's.

He Jiaqi shook her head and laughed out loud, Ruirui, Ruirui, you are still the same, you will always be like a child, send me a puppet from all the way.

However, He Jiaqi also understood that this was Yao Xinrui's reminder to herself that she hadn't forgotten that when the two met, they always bought the same things for each other, one blue and one purple.

He Jiaqi looked at the empty box and wanted to call Yao Xinrui, but it was early morning in China, so she must be sleeping.

He Jiaqi was holding Meng Qiqi in her hand, and wanted to put it beside her bed, when she suddenly felt that there was something tight in Meng Qiqi's stomach.

He Jiaqi found the zipper on the back of the doll, opened it, and found a 2 GB iPod Shuffle inside.

This was the latest MP3 with the best configuration on the market at that time, small and exquisite, and had a long standby time.

He Jiaqi didn't know how Yao Xinrui was willing to give up, but thinking about it the other way around, as long as it was each other, maybe the other party would give everything they had.

He Jiaqi turned on the iPod and was surprised to find that it wasn't blank.

Yao Xinrui had thoughtfully filled her with nearly 300 popular Chinese hit songs at that time, including a monologue of her own.

Tell He Jiaqi that the iPod can be used to listen to songs and practice listening, and will replace it for her next time she returns to China.As for the snacks and Monchichi, they are just accessories to accompany the iPod.

He Jiaqi suddenly felt that Yao Xinrui had become considerate and warm after she left, instead of the self-willed and unruly before.

A few weeks later, Yao Xinrui received another call from He Jiaqi, informing her that the package had been received, thanking her for her loving birthday present.

Yao Xinrui was still cautious like a child in front of He Jiaqi, but it was sweet in her heart to hear the compliment from the person she loved.

At that time, Yao Xinrui's daily life was very ordinary, without any major ups and downs in his mood.

The happiest moment was when I received a phone call or email from He Jiaqi, whom I hadn’t heard from for a long time, telling her about life in a foreign country like a report, and asking Yao Xinrui if he was obedient, studying hard, and how he was doing recently.

Gradually, He Jiaqi adapted to the rhythm of the school, and her listening and speaking skills improved in a short period of time.

When Yao Xinrui learned that He Jiaqi's life had settled down, she felt relieved a lot, but hearing He Jiaqi's life of staying up all night in order to graduate as soon as possible, her heart ached, but there was no real solution.

She knew what He Jiaqi had decided, and she couldn't persuade her to go back.She, there is still no way to protect her now.

There is only one thing Yao Xinrui can do, wake up every morning, silently pray for He Jiaqi, hope she is well.

The author has something to say: Ruirui: Xiaoqi, is the monkey I gave you cute or not?

Xiaoqi: Not cute.

Ruirui: Why isn't it cute anymore?how cute.

Xiaoqi: Because she is not as cute as you. In my heart, only you are the cutest.

Okay, let's take it easy, shall we?Do you feel that Yao Xinrui is going to grow up, haha.

Refill, good morning.

☆, grow

In the lush campus life, gossip comes and goes quickly, and no matter how big the waves are, they will calm down with time as the protagonist leaves.

Coupled with the huge changes in Yao Xinrui's style and personality, word of mouth and reputation on campus gradually improved, and his prestige in the class was gradually established again. Friends who had left were also moved by Yao Xinrui's sincere apology, and returned to the school. beside her.

In the last ten months before the college entrance examination, Yao Xinrui spent almost all of her time making up for the missed homework. Although the results were not as good as expected, her grades were steadily improving.

In order to strengthen her competitiveness in the college entrance examination, Yao Xinrui picked up the violin that she had thrown away for two years. Two hours of practice every day opened another door to Yanbei University—a student with an art specialty.

If Yao Xinrui's violin as a specialty can pass the admission requirements of Yanbei University, then not only can he be admitted with a reduced score, but he can also choose his major freely, which undoubtedly makes up for Yao Xinrui's shortcomings in science.

The rest of the time is used to assist Mr. Jiang in handling the entire class affairs, and the assessments of the first and first class of senior high school are all the first.The attitude of the students also changed from criticism and disobedience to Yao Xinrui to sincere admiration and respect for Yao Xinrui's ability later.

Yao Xinrui groped to find her long-lost self, gradually matured in all aspects, and once again learned to be optimistic and strong.

However, He Jiaqi is no longer by her side, and she can't see her efforts to change, let alone feel her regret and hard work to restore her heart for breaking up.

In the year when He Jiaqi left, although Yao Xinrui was in the most important preparation period for the third year of high school, it did not stop Yao Xinrui from thinking about the unusual throbbing and uncontrollable feelings between the two of them in the first year of high school.

It's ridiculous to say that when He Jiaqi was by her side, even though she knew she loved He Jiaqi, she never defined the relationship between two people as love, and never thought about what the relationship between them is that is not friendship.

After He Jiaqi left, Yao Xinrui calmed down and began to think.

While thinking, I began to try to use the search engine to search for the inner activities and feelings when I was with He Jiaqi, looking for the words that can define the special feelings between girls, and gradually came into contact with words such as "same sex", "Lesbian" and "Lily". .

Only then did I remember that when the boy next door hit me while kissing, the boy said the word Lesbian, and many good girls used les to describe their feelings.

When she was with He Jiaqi, Yao Xinrui didn't listen to the voices from the outside world, didn't care about them, and didn't really imprint the words said by these people in her head, or she was deceiving her ears.

After He Jiaqi's departure, Yao Xinrui gradually opened the door to this new world with Yao Xinrui's search and understanding.

Without the cowardice of facing such a label before, I gradually understood that "I like her only because she is her, and it has nothing to do with gender; I fell in love with someone who just happened to be the same gender as me."

A person's cognition of strange things is always limited, especially when such a concept conflicts with the person's previous life background and social environment, or even repels.

Self-recognition is directly proportional to time and experience. Only after many baptisms can one be firm and brave.

It was at that time that Yao Xinrui suddenly had an idea: "So, the relationship between her and Xiaoqi is love, she loves He Jiaqi, the love between them is the kind of love that falls in love with a boy, the kind of love that a boy falls in love with a girl, no difference."

The life of Yao Xinrui's third year in high school was full of arrangements. After such a thought crossed her mind, it left a mark, but she didn't have time to delve into it, which made her hesitate and doubt for a long time, but she didn't think about everything they did. This is the behavior that only lovers will have, regardless of gender.

With the gradual deepening of understanding of this new world, Yao Xinrui came into contact with a documentary novel, which was adapted from a real story, No. 1 title, and edited by himself.

The story of the two heroines began when they were still babies, and the relationship was not officially established until the two graduate students. The two have been with each other and experienced all the joys, sorrows, joys, sorrows, and joys of growing up.

The stories along the way are rich and colorful, with twists and turns, from cowardice and avoidance to mutual temptation, love and killing to mutual confession, they have gone all the way for 28 years, and finally ended with a sweet and warm Happy Ending, staying together for a lifetime.

The shock brought by this novel to Yao Xinrui was huge. Only then did she realize that there really existed such a group of people in the world who worked hard and fought for their own happiness and true love, and finally reaped the rewards. Like a fairytale ending.

Of course, there is a group of people who give up their love and are forced to separate because of various pressures from the world, just because they are lovers of the same gender and are not accepted by the world.

Conflicts with family members escalated, circle of friends shook the world, suspension of school, suspension of work, depression, suicide, shocking the world...

After seeing the real world, Yao Xinrui suddenly understood.

Why did my mother and He Jiaqi's mother look so complicated at the two of them at that time, and suddenly realized that my naive and childish inability to resist was meaningless, after all, I couldn't even be independent financially, let alone spiritually Independence and freedom of choice.

Yao Xinrui finally took a brave step and pushed open the door that he had been resisting to open.

The thoughts in Yao Xinrui's mind gradually became clear. Since the person she fell in love with was He Jiaqi, even if she would never fall in love with anyone else, He Jiaqi had the same gender as her after all.

In the future, no matter what the ending is, the family will have to pass this test.So instead of sitting still, it's better to infiltrate slowly, starting from softening the mother.

Since then, 17-year-old Yao Xinrui has disclosed some news, reports, and information about LGBT groups to her mother at regular intervals.

I hope that if there is such a day, I can choose to be free, and my mother will not become angry because of ignorance.Like many traditional parents, I feel that my daughter is immoral and hopelessly corrupt.

Yao Xinrui believes more and more that if she falls in love with someone, then what she falls in love with is everything about that person.

It has nothing to do with nationality, skin color, appearance, age, or gender.

It is because of this that two people must be recognized by their parents, otherwise, if they do not receive the blessed love, something will always be missing.

Yao Xinrui gradually got used to living alone, without He Jiaqi by her side, she would no longer be able to rely on whatever she wanted.

Christmas came in a blink of an eye, and He Jiaqi only had a short one-week vacation, and her parents didn't want He Jiaqi to go back and forth.But He Jiaqi was thinking about Yao Xinrui, so she returned home stubbornly.

The atmosphere of preparing for the senior three exams at Yunbin Middle School is strong, and of course they will not slow down because of He Jiaqi's appearance.

He Jiaqi re-entered her alma mater a few months later. It was strange but familiar. Everything seemed to have changed, and everything seemed to be the same as when she left.

"But, Ruirui, what about you? Will you still remember me, remember us?" He Jiaqi was thinking as she walked towards the classroom that is now Class [-] of Senior Three.

After Yao Xinrui and He Jiaqi "broke up", she suffered from migraine for some reason, which was only occasional before.Since He Jiaqi left her, Yao Xinrui had to take a painkiller every morning to maintain her intense review.

This year's Christmas Eve is nothing special to Yao Xinrui. After all, these modern festivals are just a pastime for the younger generation. Without He Jiaqi by her side, there is no meaning to celebrate.

Today, my migraine is very terrible. I have taken two or three painkillers, but I still have difficulty concentrating. I lie on the desk to take a rest between classes.

In a daze, the quiet classroom suddenly became noisy, and even heard He Jiaqi's name.

Yao Xinrui only thought that she was dreaming and had no energy to pay attention to it.It must be because I fell asleep and dreamed that someone was calling He Jiaqi's name, and it wasn't just once or twice.

After a while, Yao Xinrui raised her head suddenly, because she felt that she was surrounded by a familiar atmosphere, which felt too real.

I was dazed for a few seconds, my eyes focused, and I saw that He Jiaqi was really standing in front of me, looking more and more beautiful, looking at her with a smile on the corner of her mouth.

Yao Xinrui couldn't believe the sudden appearance of the person he thought about day and night, and rubbed his eyes vigorously, afraid that it was an illusion.

Before letting go of her hand, He Jiaqi's soft voice fell beside her ear: "Ruirui, it's me, I'm back."

Hearing He Jiaqi's voice clearly, Yao Xinrui realized that this was not a dream, her little Qi was beside her.

"Xiaoqi, why are you here? Don't you have to go to class?" Yao Xinrui didn't realize it for a while.

"Fool, Christmas, I'm on vacation. Don't you want to see me?" He Jiaqi rubbed Yao Xinrui's short hair and said angrily.

"Ah... yes, there are holidays for Christmas in England. I forgot, hee hee. How could I not want to see you, I want to see you every day." Yao Xinrui said, his voice became lower and lower, and he said unconfidently .

She didn't know whether He Jiaqi blamed her for not being brave, or whether she had crossed the line by saying so.

"Ruirui, seeing that you've been lying on your stomach, do you have a migraine?" He Jiaqi ignored Yao Xinrui's answer and just asked.

"Uh, no, just a little, just a little." Yao Xinrui didn't expect that even if He Jiaqi wasn't by her side, she would still be in control of her every move.

However myself