Difficult round

"I did think you were straight at the time. After all, you don't have so many curves. How could it be possible that I happen to like someone and that person happens to be the other person, right?"

"So I just don't know how to treat you well. The feeling of guilt and reluctance to let go is really tormenting."

"I think you are a good straight man, but you have to be bent by me, and you may have to be looked down upon and looked down upon in the future. This is what I owe you, so I want to treat you in a different way, what do you think? I can't exaggerate for you..."

"I browsed a lot of related forums and read the confessions of many people. Many people said that they had a good relationship with their boyfriends, but they were opposed by their families. In the end, either I or my boyfriend couldn't support the family. Due to the pressure, we broke up."

Having said that, Gu Yan finally raised his eyes and glanced at Shen Qi, Shen Qi met his gaze, his heart beating violently.He could already guess what Gu Yan was going to say next——

"I was afraid that we would do the same, so I took advantage of the New Year's Day holiday and bought a plane ticket to go home. On the same day, I came out with my parents. My father was very angry. He picked up the ashtray on the coffee table and threw it on my head. It threw me straight into the hospital."

"My mother almost fainted from crying. She couldn't figure out why I started liking men all of a sudden, even though I had so many girlfriends."

"To be honest, I don't understand it myself, but I like it because I like it. There are so many reasons. Maybe I like men in the first place, but I don't know. I only understand after meeting you." Gu Yan said.

"After that, my dad stopped all my cards, kicked me out of the house, and said that one day I figured it out and went back to him to admit my mistake, otherwise I would never come back."

"I thought he was angry and tried to call him later, but he never answered."

Gu Yan's eyes also started to turn red slightly. The two had been dating for seven years, which also meant that he hadn't been home or seen his parents for more than seven years.

Before that, although he was full of guilt towards his parents, he still had Shen Qi in the end. Sincerity is as good as gold and stone, he thought that one day his parents would accept that he liked Shen Qi and let him take Shen Qi with him. go home.

As a result, Shen Xi turned out to be a liar.He was sorry for his parents, lost his love, and became a complete joke.

It's pathetic and ridiculous.

Even Shen Qi thought so, he got up from the sofa, squatted at Gu Yan's feet, raised his head slightly to stare at him, and said with a sob:

"Why, why are you so stupid."

"Stupid?" Gu Yan pressed the corners of his eyes with his thumbs, and then smiled at the other party, "Now that I think about it, it's really stupid, I'm not even sure if I like you straight or crooked, but you just So he came out of the closet without hesitation."

For a long time afterwards, Gu Yan didn't say anything, the beer can was crushed and restored from various angles.

Shen Qi was also speechless. What Gu Yan said just now really shocked him. He never knew that Gu Yan had endured so much in silence. After all, Gu Yan... never revealed it in front of him. half point.

He felt as if his heart had been crushed severely by a heavy truck, and it was broken into a pile of rotten meat.

It was too painful and uncomfortable.

He tried to pull Gu Yan's palm, but Gu Yan avoided it.Gu Yan finally had enough of playing with the beer can in his hand, crushed it completely, and threw it into the trash can beside the tea table.

His chest heaved violently a few times, and then continued the unfinished topic:

"Although they ignore me, I will still contact them frequently, send WeChat messages without answering the phone, and send a few messages in three or two days. I don't know if they will read it. Post it for three days without looking at it..."

"As long as they don't block me, I have to keep posting. Maybe one day they will read it and accept us."

"After all, they only gave birth to a son like me, and they love me so much. It's impossible for them to be so cruel that they won't have any contact with me for the rest of their lives just because I fell in love with a man."

He spoke these words very slowly, each word was like a boulder pressing on his heart, and after being pressed for too long, it directly grew into a piece with his heart, and it was not so easy to move it away, every move hurt Muscles and bones are bleeding.

Those were his parents, how could it be impossible for him to be uncomfortable.

Facts have proved that Gu Yan is right. On his mother's birthday the year before last, Gu Yan transferred some money to her, but his mother actually replied to his message, so that he would not have to send money to them in the future, and they would have it themselves.

After that, he got in touch with his family, and began to chat with his mother intermittently on WeChat and ask about the situation at home.

Most of the time they chatted in groups of three. At first, his father didn't respond at all, but in recent months, he would occasionally reply with a few words of cursing.

In the final analysis, I miss my son and relax.

"So you haven't been home in these few years..." Shen Xi murmured softly.

Gu Yan nodded lightly: "Yes."

Shen Xi's voice trembled violently: "Then you, how did you live..."

He didn't dare to imagine how Gu Yan lived alone, but he couldn't help asking.The chest hurts so much, it's about the same after being stabbed by someone.

Air tickets for the Spring Festival holiday are hard to buy. Gu Yan usually books tickets for the two of them a long time in advance. Their flight times are about the same, so they go to the airport together every time.Shen Qi's flight will leave first, Gu Yan will watch him board the plane, and then wait for his own.

It was also because of this that Shen Qi never knew whether Gu Yan boarded the so-called flight after he left.

Gu Yan smiled very lowly, got up and went to the refrigerator to get a can of beer.Shen Qi also calmed down, a thin layer of sweat broke out on his forehead, but he was reluctant to take off the coat on his body, instead he clenched the skirt even more tightly.

"How did it go... I really went back by plane. Although I couldn't enter the house, I still wanted to go back and take a look, even if I just walked around downstairs and took a look from afar."

There was always a faint smile on Gu Yan's face, but in Shen Xi's eyes, it became a sharp knife that cut his heart.

"But I'm unlucky. I've seen the two elders once in so many years. At that time, I stood by the streetlight downstairs and watched them come out of the corridor. They also saw me. We looked at each other from a distance. , and then they walked away arm in arm. I didn't dare to catch up."

"After this trip, I'll take the plane back that night and wait for you at home."

Hearing this, what else did Shen Qi not understand.Every New Year's Eve, he took pictures of Gu Yan's New Year's Eve dinner, and said happy new year to each other when the New Year's bell rang. He thought that Gu Yan would also be lively making dumplings with his family to keep the year old...

But in fact, this person is always alone.

Afraid to go home, afraid to tell him, afraid to even find a friend for a drink.

No wonder Gu Yan was so excited when the two of them stayed together in City A for the New Year that year.

At this moment, Shen Qi didn't know whether to say that Gu Yan had lied to him for so many years, or whether he should blame him for being careless and never realizing it.

But is there really no doubt?In fact, there have been.

For example, Shen Qi's side is always very lively when the two of them are on the phone. Even though he is hiding in his room, he can still hear his parents chatting in the living room watching the Spring Festival Gala, but Gu Yan's side is always quiet It's quiet, you can't hear the slightest movement.

However, he didn't think much about it at that time, he only thought that the other party's house was well soundproofed, so that the slight voice could not fall into the phone.

And Gu Yan is really good at nonsense, every year he lied to him that it was a New Year's Eve dinner at a hotel, last year it was Cantonese cuisine, this year it became Hunan cuisine and Fujian cuisine, and next year it might be Sichuan cuisine and Su cuisine, which cuisine and what kind of cuisine is right? , as if he really ate it.

Shen Qi still remembered the Buddha jumping over the wall that he told himself one year. He talked so straight that Shen Qi, who had just finished the New Year's Eve dinner and ate two sesame glutinous rice balls, was hungry again.

But why didn't I think of it at that time, if Gu Yan really went to eat some Buddha jumping over the wall or Dongpo pork crispy chicken, there would be no need for him to search for pictures on the Internet. According to Gu Yan's temperament, he would have sent the photos over All right.

But never.

Only he unilaterally took pictures of his family's New Year's Eve dinner to Gu Yan, but Gu Yan never sent a photo.

Thinking about it now, Gu Yan asked him for a photo of the New Year's Eve dinner, did he just want to pretend that they were celebrating the New Year together and eating the New Year's Eve dinner together?

Shen Qi didn't dare to think deeply.He was afraid that he would collapse on the spot.

"Two days before the New Year's Eve, my mother called me and asked me to go home for the New Year."

His hand holding the beer can trembled a little, and he exerted a little force. The yellow liquid sloshed out from the mouth of the can, staining a piece of his light gray home clothes.

Then he said, "They finally gave in and let me take you home too."

When he said this, his eyes still did not fall on Shen Qi, but turned his head to look at the glass wall not far away.

The night fell, and the lights outside the glass wall were bright again. He was finally no longer alone in this family tonight, but the feeling of loneliness did not decrease at all, on the contrary, it became more and more lonely and cold.

Probably the two hearts are too far apart.

"Then I said..."

Shen Qi instinctively felt that the next words were not what he wanted to hear, subconsciously wanted to shake Gu Yan's hand again, but was avoided again.Gu Yan withdrew his gaze, lowered his eyes and stared at his palm:

"Then I said, we've...broke up."