Difficult round

The night before, Gu Yan went out for a race with Jiang Xin and the others. After the run, the group went to the bar to drink again, and they didn't go home until after three o'clock in the morning.

After taking a shower, I took a few slices of bread from the refrigerator and ate, and then fell asleep.

When he woke up again, it was still dark. Gu Yan thought he hadn't slept for a long time, but he touched the phone on the bedside table to see, good guy, he actually slept for more than ten hours, directly from early morning to evening.

It's dark not because the sun hasn't risen yet, but because it's set again...

No wonder I had so many dreams.He lay on his back on the bed, thinking about the contents of those dreams, and the dreams were all the past that he didn't want to recall.

He dreamed of falling in love with Shen Qi at first sight in the dim KTV box.

I dreamed that he sang the song "Under Mount Fuji" in the campus singer competition, and secretly sang the secret in his heart to someone.

He also dreamed about the Spring Festival of a certain year, he left Shen Qi to celebrate the New Year, the two of them ate the New Year’s Eve dinner and dumplings together, and then they were on the bed, the sofa, the kitchen, the bathroom... and poured out their love in every place of the house .In the dream, Shen Qi put glue on the Spring Festival couplets, laughed and blamed him for "shameless and restraint".

He dreamed again that night, when he returned home with a bunch of carefully selected red roses, he saw Shen Qi cooking a table full of dishes for him.

He was so moved at the time that he almost couldn't hold back the surprise he had prepared and presented it to Shen Qi earlier, but Shen Qi gave him a shock first.

He was very glad that he held back at that time, just a little bit, he made himself a joke.Although in fact it's not much better.

The dream came to an abrupt end at this time. After waking up, Gu Yan found himself covered in cold sweat, and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

The moment the water sprayed down, Gu Yan suddenly remembered that there had never been Spring Festival couplets pasted on the door, and the pair of Spring Festival couplets he and Shen Qi bought in the supermarket were always forgotten in the drawer.

There is always a gap between dreams and reality.

After taking a shower, I glanced at my phone and found that it was almost time to throw out the trash, so I wrapped a coat indiscriminately, packed a few bags of trash in a hurry, and prepared to go out to throw out the trash.As soon as he opened the door, he saw the man standing at the door.

The dream and the reality seemed to overlap, Gu Yan was stunned for a moment, and when he came back to his senses, he asked the visitor coldly, "Why are you here?"

Shen Qi also seemed surprised when he saw him, his eyes were red, he looked at Gu Yan and whispered: "Gu, Gu Yan, why didn't you go back?"

Gu Yan looked at him, and then at the suitcase next to him, with a displeased look on his face: "Why are you here?" He asked again.

Shen Qi's eyes became even redder, and he pursed his lips, murmuring speechlessly.

In the night of minus seven or eight degrees, he only wore a thin white sweater, his nose and ears were red from the cold, and even the knuckles exposed outside were red, but his face and lips were pale, and there was still a little bit of color. Light blue after freezing.

He raised his face slightly, and asked pitifully, "Gu Yan, can I go in?"

Gu Yan boiled water in the kitchen, waited for the water to boil, and glanced at the living room when he rummaged through boxes and cabinets to find a water glass. Shen Xi was sitting quietly on the sofa. body.

He had lost weight visibly to the naked eye, and the bit of flesh that Gu Yan had spent a lot of time raising for him was gone.

The water cup that Shen Qi used before was thrown away by him a long time ago, Gu Yan searched for a long time before he found a new cup.

The water happened to boil, so he poured hot water over the cup, poured a cup of hot water for Shen Xi, and took out a can of beer from the refrigerator.

"Thank you." Shen Xi thanked him politely, stretched out his arms to hold the glass of water on the tea table, but tried several times but failed to lift the glass.

His fingers were frozen and bent so badly that he couldn't hold things for a while.

He curled his fingers embarrassingly, then bent slightly, and put his hand directly on the cup.

Neither of them spoke, and the atmosphere was awkward.Gu Yan regretted letting him in for a while, but it was freezing outside, so he really couldn't bear to let it go.

A cat and a dog have feelings after being raised for a long time. It is impossible to let them freeze to death and starve to death, let alone a person.

That person was still the one he once loved passionately.

After a while, Shen Qi finally picked up the glass of water, lowered his head and took a sip.

The heating in the room is fully turned on, the cold on his body is no longer so severe, his face has eased a lot, but his eyes are still red: "You, why didn't you go home?"

Gu Yan didn't understand why he was so stubborn on this question, he asked it over and over again without getting an answer.

He got up to pick up the water glass in Shen Xi's hand, Shen Xi showed doubts, but obediently handed the glass back to him.

Gu Yan didn't want to explain anything, just poured the glass of cold water into the sink, and then took another glass of hot water.

Shen Qi touched the steaming cup of boiling water, and was dumbfounded for a moment.Gu Yan's thoughtfulness is always hidden in these small details. People who have been so pampered and taken care of all year round are always easy to ignore these, thinking that they are insignificant and dispensable, and they don't understand how precious those tendernesses are until they are really lost. .

But it was too late to regret.

"Shen Qi." Gu Yan rubbed the center of his brows, and called Shen Qi's name. Shen Qi withdrew his fingers abruptly, his whole body jumped as if startled, and subconsciously asked, "What?"

Shen Qi's current state is actually not suitable for talking, but Gu Yan doesn't want to argue with him about these whys and hows. Since he wants to know, he can simply spread everything out and explain it clearly, which is better than Ling Chi's endless ——

"Shen Qi, since I realized that I like you and decided to chase you, I have never returned home."

boom.

The glass was accidentally knocked over by Shen Xi, and it collided with the coffee table with a loud sound, and the hot water in the glass trickled down onto the reddish-brown carpet under the coffee table.

Shen Qi looked at Gu Yan with disbelief: "Gu Yan, what did you say?"

Different from Shen Qi's excitement and shock, Gu Yan still had a calm expression, and even the tone of his speech didn't change, as if what he was talking about was just other people's things that he had heard everywhere, and had nothing to do with him at all. .

"Before I met you, I had been in love many times, but how should I put it, each relationship didn't last long. I feel like a scumbag. I just don't like my girlfriend who is tired of me. I feel that bother."

"However, after meeting you, I myself became an annoying person. I asked others about your name, major, class, clubs you joined, food you liked, food you hated..."

"Then I approached you shamelessly to get to know you, seeing that you are good in everything, wishing I could surround you all the time, as long as you call my name, I would give you my life."

"On the Internet, it is said that my behavior like this is called dog licking, but at that time I thought, if you like me and love me, I am willing to be your dog licking for the rest of my life."

"Does it sound cheap, but that's what I really thought at the time. I didn't even think that the love affairs I had talked about before were considered love affairs. Only when I saw you did I really understand the feeling of liking someone."

"But I had never liked a man before that, and I never thought that I was curvy. You may not know, but I actually hesitated for a long time. The hesitation was not whether I should continue to like you, but because I was afraid that I would give You bring trouble and trouble because I don't know if you're crooked or... straight."

The last two words probably brought back the unpleasant memories of the breakup. When he said this, Gu Yan's tone finally fluctuated significantly, and his brows also frowned.

After his reminder, Shen Xi suddenly remembered that for a while, Gu Yan was really indifferent to him.

At that time, Gu Yan had successfully infiltrated Shen Qi's club and dormitory. Shen Qi himself had a soft temper. When he met such a person with social NB syndrome, he naturally didn't know how to reject him. The two quickly became acquainted and often went together. Let's make an appointment for a meal and a movie.

But for a while after that, Gu Yan suddenly stopped sending him WeChat messages, and didn't come to see him. Occasionally, when they met in the cafeteria or on the road, they would just nod and say hello and then left, not wanting to talk to him. look.

At that time, Shen Qi was still thinking that maybe his personality was too dull, and Gu Yan thought he was boring so he didn't want to be friends with him.

He remembered that he was disappointed for a while at the beginning, because he still cared about his friend Gu Yan.But not long after, Gu Yan started looking for him again, more frequently than before.

Shen Qi didn't take that episode to heart, he only thought it was because Gu Yan was busy during that time.

But it turned out to be like this.

"But in the end I found that I was still unwilling to just be friends with you, and I still wanted you to like me and love me. It's pretty selfish."

Gu Yan drank several sips of beer in a row, and the beer can was soon emptied. He gently pinched it with his index finger and thumb, and the aluminum can was flattened without pinching, and a large piece was dented.

Gu Yan laughed at himself, but didn't look at Shen Qi, his eyes fell on the unturned TV, and he fiddled with the beer can in his hand.

Shen Qi opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but Gu Yan waved his hand to stop him: "Don't talk, just listen to me first."

On the night of the breakup, he was very emotional, and he just listened to Shen Xi confessing his heart by himself, talking about those things that were unavoidable and compromised, so tonight he wanted to say it himself first.

No matter what, we have been dating for so many years, whether there is affection or not, sincerity or falsehood is another matter, at least you have to make your words clear, and then say goodbye in a decent manner.

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Yan Yanzi, mother’s big boy, hug me~