this is love

[In a person's life, there are some unspeakable secrets, irreversible regrets, untouchable dreams, and unforgettable love. 】

He is free only in his dreams.

It seems that the shackles that imprison the spirit are slowly fading away layer by layer, the real texture between the skin can finally breathe, and then even the soul is stretched out, lingering quietly in the cracks of time.At that time, the body is light.He no longer feels the extreme heaviness and necessary oppression.

Even if you have formed an inertia, you are telling yourself all the time, you have to be self-sufficient.

But when he saw that hazy figure, his spirit was still no match for the gradually blurred vision.The tide was rushing in from all directions, gradually submerging him, holding his breath gently.

He seemed to be glowing, the one he longed for.

Turned around in the dream countless times and smiled softly at him.Then go on foot.He opened his mouth silently, unable to utter a sound, and finally became sad, so he had to stand still and watch him go away.Even staring is scarred.

He stood up straight, and finally lowered his raised hand gently.The strength of the fingertips also loosened.

I still miss you.

When Pu Xingxiu opened his eyes, the room was still dark, with fragments of light lingering in front of the bed through the curtains.The consciousness still remained in the dream just now, and he was unwilling to leave. He felt the heaviness and fatigue of the whole body, and the dry heat that penetrated the skin and transpired was extremely unbearable.

He got up and went to the living room to find the few sleeping pills left in the medicine box. He stared at those flimsy pills for a long time, and finally swallowed them silently. Even the water was stingy to moisturize his throat. All the way down to his stomach, he felt the hotness all over his body gradually subside.

On a night as quiet as water, he knew that he was lonely.

And the moonlight was shining outside the window.

After finally finishing the most urgent case at hand, Park Xingxiu relaxed his tense body, leaned on the back of the chair and slowly untied the tight tie, and his eyes fell into the cracks in the floor, as if in a trance daydream like.

The busyness of the past few days has almost made his body reach the limit of its functioning, as if being chased by time, and if he slackens a little, he will end up being cannibalized. Even if he is not in a hurry, he still has to weigh it in his heart Draw a clear line.

Such a rational and orderly format is his belief. He can no longer bear all the sudden changes in his life, and simply grasps all the possibilities of being caught off guard.

Who can break his defense.

He has been calculated by life too many times, and he should learn to fight back.

When he closed his eyes, his hearing was infinitely magnified. When there was a vibration sound, his fingers twitched twice, and then he slowly turned the phone over.The word "sister" was displayed on the screen, and he glanced at the time before sliding the answer button.

When he walked downstairs to the office, the sunlight was surprisingly bright. Today is a rare good weather since the beginning of spring, and even Pu Xingxiu's mood became melodious. He took off his coat and casually put it on his arm, and walked to the side of the street to stop. Get off the TAXI and sit straight in the passenger seat, the fingers on the mobile phone moving back and forth editing text messages never stop.

Those text messages sent all point to a faulty number, each one is a sending error, but they stubbornly let those mistakes connect together, piece together the deep love and meaning that no one knows about these years, but only boiled alone.

Whenever he feels lost, Park Xingxiu will involuntarily send a message to this number.

What he wants to say, what he wants to talk about, what he wants to express.send them all out.

That number stayed with him for six years.

When Pu Zhixiu opened the door to welcome him in, Park Xingxiu had just pressed the phone lock screen button.He put away his phone and hung his coat on the hanger at the door, changed his shoes and walked into the living room. It was almost noon, and even the room was quiet and warm. He looked around for a week before meeting Pu Zhixiu's eyes again: "Brother-in-law isn't home? Where's Zhibin?"

"Your brother-in-law took him to the aquarium, and said he was eating out at noon." Park Zhixiu said as he walked towards the kitchen, and his voice came from far and near: "Alright, let us have a good meal alone, brother and sister. You've been very busy recently, and you haven't come here for a long time."

"En." Park Xingxiu responded lightly, and went to the kitchen to help bring the well-packed meals to the dining table one by one.

Maybe it's the first time we haven't eaten together like this face to face, or maybe it's because of something else, but when Pu Zhixiu found out that the silence between the two of them had been struggling for too long, she began to feel that the food she chewed gradually lost its taste .

Looking at the current Pu Xingxiu, she always has the illusion that she seems to be in another world.

The boy has truly grown into a man.He will solve the problems at work in an orderly manner, follow the footsteps of his predecessors humbly and actively to acquire the knowledge he deserves; he will deal with the problems in life calmly and self-sustainingly, live a peaceful and orderly life, and will not bring her any unnecessary troubles Worried; he will treat everyone around him gently and patiently, as if no one can mess up his position and arouse his anger, he just smiles lightly, and then turns around in front of others.

Perfection without leaving a trace.

It's more of admiration than admiration.He has such a rare personality and concept.

She should be relieved, shouldn't she?

He was still her younger brother Pu Xingxiu, but she felt that she didn't know him.

He lost too much, like being hollowed out of his soul.

You saw him smiling gently and calmly, but it seemed as if he would disappear the next moment.The moment he lowered his eyes, it was as if he was about to cry.The moment when he fell into a deep sleep seemed to be about to wake up.He was too normal and too dangerous.

Park Zhixiu hates her own sensitivity, so she spends her days tremblingly, afraid of accidents or outbreaks every minute and every second, watching his life carefully, because she is afraid of the future and cannot get peace of mind.

This is nothing, in fact, she should hate herself the most.If it weren't for the self-righteousness that was too inflated at the beginning, I wouldn't be full of doubts about myself today.Living in the upper layer of the turbulent waves is actually not pleasant at all.She is always afraid of the subversion that may strike at any time.When she looked at Park Xingxiu, she began to feel embarrassed, and that embarrassment was mixed with strong sadness, which made her life toss and turn.

If his heart sank into a pool of stagnant water, and couldn't stir up any ripples, could the culprit be her.

She smiled bitterly.

Love brings more than just beauty.

"Recently... how are you?" It was really unbearable to endure the dead silence, and Park Ji-soo was the first to speak: "Is it okay to stay up all night for so many days?"

"Fortunately, you're still young after all," Park Xingxiu raised his gaze slightly, slightly skipped over his sister's drooping face, and lowered his eyelids again. "Now that the case has come to an end, I should be able to rest for a few days."

"Really..." It's still difficult. When did the topics between them become so pitiful, as if they couldn't get a common topic other than ordinary greetings? Will that strange sense of isolation rise and rise one day? imprison them.Pu Zhixiu pursed her lower lip tightly, and the hand holding the spoon paused. "Xingxiu..."

Before she could squeeze out the remaining half of her sentence, she was interrupted by the vibration of the mobile phone in Park Xingxiu's pocket. The dinner table where only two people were there was even more silent because of the silence, so the faint vibration sound was special. Obviously, she immediately stopped talking and signaled Park Xingxiu to answer the phone first.

Because even if she was given twice as much time, she might not be able to ask the question that had been suppressed in her heart for too long.

You now, forget about those past?

In fact, as long as you think about it carefully, you know that the answer must be no.Park Zhixiu looked at the back of Park Xingxiu who stood up and walked slowly to the window of the living room while answering the phone, mocking himself inwardly.

After so many years, why do you still not understand him?

After hanging up the phone call, Park Xingxiu knew that the good sleep he was lucky to get tonight would be interrupted again.That kid Cui Yingmin asked him to accompany him tonight to celebrate his successful job-hopping when he received an ultimatum.He understood that guy's temper, and he would definitely pester him to celebrate until midnight.As a standard night owl, Cui Yingmin's night is his real carnival moment.

Although his life habits are completely different from Park Xingxiu's, he will basically accompany him to the end as he wishes.After all, that guy is the only one who has spent all his heart and soul with him all these years.

He has always remembered this affection.

It was two o'clock in the afternoon when he left his sister's house. Before he left the office in the morning, he settled all the work for today. He thought that his little nephew would be at home, so he simply stayed with him for an afternoon. He didn't expect that once this idea fell through, his time would be free out.After walking out of his sister's neighborhood, he stood by the side of the street for a long time, and finally walked along the street in a random direction.

This habit formed unconsciously has followed him for many years.It seems that every time he walks alone among these streets and passes by all kinds of people, he can feel the breath of life in this city.Only then did he feel that he was not completely isolated from the world around him.

What kind of feeling is that?

It seems that you are floating in the air, guiding the body left on the ground how to act according to instinct, seeing strangers and gentlemen nodding, seeing friends humbly laughing, seeing relatives accompanied by gentleness, and then facing yourself in silence.

The heart is empty, like a wasteland, where no grass grows.

He felt almost dry.

But if the desire is not satisfied, how hoarse will be.

No more strength, no more strength.

Unable to fight anyone other than himself, he surrendered with silence.

His time stopped six years ago, and the distorted space was just a breathing Park Heung-su.

Who still remembers the real him?

When he rushed downstairs to the company where Cui Yingmin switched jobs, it was already past nine o'clock in the evening. Cui Yingmin called him and told him to wait for him at the door, and he would finish today's task around 09:30.Park Xingxiu looked up at the company's building for a while, then at the still brightly lit lobby on the first floor, and finally sat down on a bench not far away full of thoughts.

M-STAR Model Agency.

This name hovered in his mind for a long time and could not be dispelled, as if reminding him of something that should not be missed, but when he repeatedly chewed on the memory carried by this name, he couldn't grasp the clues to sort out anything at all.

He clearly had contact with this name a long, long time ago.

In this way, he struggled with his memory for a long time. In the end, Park Xingxiu couldn’t help laughing at his stubbornness. If he couldn’t remember it, why bother to force it? It’s just a company. After all, to him, it’s just the latest agency signed by his friend. .

Once his concentration relaxed, he became idle. Sitting on the bench and looking up at the slightly misty starry sky, Park Xingxiu secretly guessed in his heart which bar his friend would choose to go to to celebrate the signing.

The surrounding lawns are lit with colorful lights, reflecting a charming atmosphere at night, and the streets in the distance are full of busy traffic that is unique to Seoul at night.The swaying and trance neon lights made people feel tender, and he suddenly felt as if his heart was at the bottom of the lake, and the unprecedented sense of seclusion made people confused.

Thinking about it, he took out his mobile phone and went into the mailbox to find out the information that was confided in that number. Park Xingxiu slid his finger upwards to browse through the accumulated gossip one by one. want to cry.

The last text message, four concise words.

[I miss you so much. ]

When his heart throbbed with pain, he felt that he was still alive.

And perception, I am still real.

However, when he raised his head, he finally tasted the feeling of suffocation.

The misfortunes in life are better than others after all. No matter how tightly he restrains himself, no matter how strict the rules are, and try his best to hold time tightly, he is still swayed by fate.

Only this time, should he be grateful to the gods?

When Cui Yingmin completed all the formalities for transferring to another company, he hurried downstairs and looked around the square for a week but did not find any familiar figure. Personality, there will never be a situation where it will be later than the time specified by him, but no matter whether he searches around the company or takes out his mobile phone to check, he can't find any information from that person.

what to do.

Find the nearest contact, press the call history of that person and dial it directly. Cui Yingmin stood on the left side of the square, pacing back and forth, waiting for the call to be connected, but when the sound of the connection came, he was not allowed to speak. Calling that person's name, there was a crisp hang-up sound.As soon as the call, which was so short that it was not even 3 seconds long, ended, he was completely stunned and unable to respond.

What's happening here?Park Xingxiu let him go?

He hesitated for a long time at the same place, his patience was quickly worn out, and he was released for no reason, and no one would feel at ease without any explanation. Cui Yingmin suppressed the little flame rising in his heart and edited an article word by word. After sending the text message to the other party, he went straight to the street and stopped TAXI to go to the bar mentioned in the text message first.

Unknowingly, the time has moved to ten o'clock, and the lights on only a few floors of M-STAR are still bright. In the whole tall building, it looks lonely and quiet.The square in front of the building was sparsely populated, and the only nanny car parked in the corner was soon half-hidden in darkness, the neon lights in the lawn suddenly brightened, and the noise on the street seemed to be the prosperity of another world, no one knew there was still What kind of world silently staged a plot of succession and transformation in an ignorant corner.

Just like this world, there is always full of affection that you have never imagined.

He walked slowly behind that person, as if he was imitating the life of another person.

When he saw him raising his hand to touch the light switch, he followed his example and stroked the switch gently; He started to smooth the slightly turned folds of the neckline; he saw him standing in front of the elevator waiting, his hands in his pockets and his head slightly lowered, so he also stopped at the corner and looked at the man's feet in a quiet trance, his fingers on the Curled tightly in the windbreaker pocket, trembling slightly.

There was moonlight coming in from the window, reflecting the shadow of that person and his shadow as if they were isolated at the two ends of the earth and looked at each other far away.The light that was turned on not far behind was silent again, and darkness surrounded him from behind, but he was looking at the shadow of that person and breathing greedily.

He finally understood the connotation of the Butterfly Effect.

Just like at this moment, the earth-shaking emotions in his heart were so full that it was almost shattered, just because of the ambiguous figure that came over from that person's every move.

He just looked at him, and it felt like time stood still completely.

This situation is very familiar, he wandered in the dream many times, but he couldn't keep that person's pace.When he was forgotten in the same place and kept the bitterness of memories, he began to gradually understand the taste of life.

It's full of worries and obscurity.

There was a "ding--" sound from the elevator, and the gradually opened elevator doors spilled bright light, which was reflected in front of the man and illuminated him in his field of vision.The outline is vague and clear, familiar and strange.With messy and melancholy fur edges, the bottom of my heart is soft and watery.

He couldn't help sighing in his heart, this is him.

Beautiful in every way, ruthless in every way.

After the door was closed, the dark corridor returned to silence. Pu Xingxiu stopped at the spot and hesitated for a moment, then slowly took a step.Standing at the place where he just stood, looking at the same door, he felt that the boiling mood gradually calmed down, and finally became a fragment of a mirror.Absolutely smooth, but also sharp and bone-chilling.

He stared at the ever-changing numbers, the piercingly bright red revealing obvious secrets.It wasn't until the number stayed at the end of "9" that he exhaled lightly, and his breathing became smoother.

The moonlight is so bright tonight, it's nice, isn't it?

When Gao Nanshun pushed open the door of the meeting room and came out, he looked down at the screen of the phone that was turned on. The time was marked "23:36" blatantly. Temperament walked towards the elevator without saying a word.The door of the meeting room behind him was knocked gently, which was considered to be an expression of appropriate dissatisfaction on his behalf.

While waiting in front of the elevator door, he crossed his arms and closed his eyes. The tingling pain in his temples still remained, reminding him that his rare rest tonight was interrupted again. Over the years, the more busy he was, the more important sleep was to him. On the contrary, it increased more and more.It was an unforgivable mistake for him to be ripped out of sleep and forced to regain his mind.

But there was nothing he could do. The problems in the process of being selected as the main show of Seoul Fashion Week this time should not be underestimated. He had to rush back to the company to make some adjustments. After solving the problems, he left again. It was almost midnight.

In fact, for him, staying up all night is commonplace, but he cherishes the hard-won early day off in the midst of his busy schedule, who knows that it will be destroyed like this.

Stepping into the empty elevator with all the irritability and hostility in his body, Gao Nanshun pressed the button for the first floor and then leaned against the handrail and closed his eyes to rest.The weightless feeling of the elevator descending made his heart itch slightly. He moved his arms and put his elbows on the handrail to share the weight of his body. His thoughts became blurred.

So that when the elevator came to a complete stop and the doors gradually opened, he still relied on his sense of direction and hearing, closed his eyes, straightened up and stepped out of the elevator.Hearing the sound of the elevator doors closing behind him, Gao Nanshun opened his eyes. His eyes adapted to the darkness and did not reject the darkness in the corridor. It only took a few seconds for him to balance his consciousness and move forward again.

In the next second, he heard the sound of unfamiliar footsteps, and followed behind him.Even as an atheist, he couldn't help frowning his eyebrows. Once the steps under his feet stopped, the sound of footsteps behind him also stopped.

Someone is following him.

Realizing this, he couldn't help clenching his hands in his pockets, moving his body and turning around slowly, facing the dark direction behind him, with moonlight shining in his eyes.

He saw the man's appearance clearly.

There are so many strange encounters in life, why didn't I think of you.

How could it be you.

I questioned God more than once.

When Pu Xingxiu looked at him, his eyes glowed dimly under the moonlight, and the temperature was moderate, with a calm and peaceful comfort.His lips moved slightly, but he didn't say a word in the end.At the moment when the silence ran wild, the hearts of both of them were empty.

The moonlight illuminates one person's face and covers another person's brows and eyes.

A piece of pale, a piece of cold.

What action will he use to interpret the long absence.

I come to greet you, I do not come to you unharmed.

How are you?Are you still happy?still remember me?

Long time no see, we should have a drink.

No?

Don't look at the moonlight, look into my eyes.

Even if the moon and stars are thin tonight, only I am looking at you.

Looking at you, looking at you.

Look at me, I've been here all along.