this is love

[The deeper the love, the more demanding it is, so it is impossible for lovers to argue without spirit. — Lawrence]

The second class of the second year and the second class of the third year.The difference of only one letter contains a meaning that is absolutely different.After really standing on the front line and facing the pressure of the college entrance examination, the atmosphere of the second class began to change.The original laughing, cursing and not doing business properly have all been restrained to varying degrees, except for the students who have been studying hard and sprinting hard, that is, the children who are anxious about their worrying grades and become more law-abiding.

It is a great improvement to be able to form such a safe and peaceful learning atmosphere.Although there is still a president who does not take the lead at all.

The moment Gao Nanshun opened his eyes, he couldn't reflect where he was now, his chaotic brain was like a tangled yarn, and he couldn't find the original endpoint.Subconsciously wanting to find the figure of that person, so he moved his sore neck, slowly straightened up and smoothed his crooked bangs with his right hand, and glanced around with misty eyes. After appearing in the field of vision, he finally realized that he was in the class two's self-study classroom.

The dream just now was too real, so it meant that he fell into a deep sleep, even if it didn't play a resting role at all.Gao Nanshun closed his eyes to relieve the unshakable drowsiness, and couldn't help recalling the scene in the dream.That scene was a bit like the moment when he and that person faced each other and wept bitterly to untie their knots, but Park Heung-su's tearful face carried a thicker and heavier sadness, which made him cry bitterly.The man's lips that kept opening and closing must be expressing some important words, but he couldn't hear anything, he couldn't hear anything, he could only hear his own heartbeat that was getting heavier every time.

What exactly does it represent?Such a dream...

Gao Nanshun, who was absorbed in chewing on this dream, didn't notice Park Xingxiu's gaze from the side, and naturally he didn't see the helpless look of that person sighing deeply.Park Xingxiu turned his head and looked at the math workbook in his hand, looking at the neatly arranged numbers and the black handwriting that he wrote more than half, but Gao Nanshun's slightly confused expression appeared in his mind again.

That guy said before that he would start thinking about his future life from now on, but until today, a month after the start of school, he didn't see what kind of plan he had made.Without mentioning it to him, and without any performance, Park Xingxiu has been waiting to see his decision, but that decision has not arrived yet.He could predict that that person's future would never be to take the college entrance examination step by step and go to university. Although it was too difficult for him, the key was that Gao Nanshun would not have the will to do it.Learning is a big trouble for him.

But what about himself... Park Xingxiu looked at the exercise booklet in his hand again. He wanted to sprint hard to get into college, he had to, not only his sister's wish, but also his own hope, and Gao Nanshun's hope at the same time.

That kid is always looking for the possibility of him being able to go to college, regardless of the fact that he has been asking the teacher in front of his class whether he can go to college, as if he regards his future as his own. As long as Park Xingxiu's life is smooth sailing, he will also Completed everything.

As for whether it was due to his guilt or pure expectation, Park Xingxiu didn't want to get entangled.

All he can do, it seems, is try his best to fulfill his expectations.Then saw his satisfied smile.

Before Park Xingxiu walked into the teacher's room, he silently evaluated the reason why Teacher Jiang called him here. The results of the monthly exam seemed to be coming out soon. He didn't know whether it was because of this or something else, but as one of the ordinary members of the second class, The number of times he came to the teacher's room seemed to be too much.

Silently walked behind Mr. Zheng and looked at Mr. Jiang who was looking down at something. Before he could speak, Mr. Zheng noticed his arrival first. "Ah, Xingxiu, here we come." Teacher Zheng turned around and greeted him with a smile, and then looked at Teacher Jiang to signal his arrival of Pu Xingxiu.

Silently lowered his head and bowed, Park Xingxiu raised his head and met Mr. Jiang's eyes with a faint smile. "Oh, Xingxiu. She looks good. Could it be that you already know the good news?"

Park Xingxiu, who couldn't figure out what he said, didn't know how to answer it, but seeing that even Teacher Zheng couldn't help laughing, he thought this should be very happy news.

Seeing Pu Xingxiu's obviously incomprehensible expression, Mr. Jiang stopped being impatient, turned around and handed him a piece of paper, and said with a slightly calm smile: "I have been promoted to the sixth grade, and it is only the result of a month's hard work. looks good."

Staring at the results of the monthly exam listed on the report card in his hand, Park Xingxiu felt a sense of fulfillment of what he expected in his heart, but also a feeling of enlightenment with a little surprise.His efforts have not been in vain, which means that the future goal is not very slim, that person's expectation, he may achieve it.No, it is very possible.

"If you stick to this progress, you should be able to reach Level [-] within half a year. Your foundation is very good, but if you just fall behind, you can make up for it. In the year before the college entrance examination, devote yourself wholeheartedly If you work hard...heh, I think you're very likely to become a dark horse in class two." Teacher Jiang's smile was full of admiration that couldn't be ignored, which was to a large extent for him who has always maintained a vicious tongue image recognition.

Park Xingxiu was not overly happy, he knew his own level somewhat, and he was somewhat prepared for such a result, but being able to get Mr. Jiang's stingy affirmation, after all, made him more confident.After humbly replying that she would work hard, Park Xingxiu couldn't wait to walk out of the teacher's room and rush straight to the classroom.

At this moment, an indescribable feeling of joy jumped up, and the only person he wanted to confide in the most was that one person.

Gao Nanshun saw Park Xingxiu got up and left the classroom after class, not knowing where he was going. He was puzzled but didn't think about it. After sitting in his seat and looking out the window for a long time, he got up bored and came to the corridor. Strolling silently in the teaching building with his hands in his pockets, he looked around aimlessly, and the students who passed by him all had different expressions, as if everyone had their own story, The ups and downs in those stories are the only thing others can't empathize with.

His life seems to be incomparably wonderful.

This life with Park Heung-soo.

Looking down at his toes, Gao Nanshun counted his steps and walked forward until a pair of feet standing with their backs appeared in his sight, then he stopped and raised his head to look over.After meeting the eyes of the person in front of him, he only felt his heart beating heavily.

Park Heung-soo's eyes can speak.

This is the only thought on his mind at this moment.

The shining luster in those eyes seemed to be covered with a layer of mist, too beautiful to look directly at, as if they wanted to absorb his whole body into the soul's focus and gentleness, Gao Nanshun was almost addicted to it and couldn't extricate himself.

"Nan Shun."

As soon as that low but extremely soft call came, Gao Nanshun's whole body trembled slightly, and he became inexplicably nervous. He knew that Park Xingxiu would only call him "Namsun" so softly when he was serious, so He knew he had something to say.

"what happened?"

Park Xingxiu didn't answer, and directly handed the wrinkled paper tightly in his hands to him. Gao Nanshun took it and looked down with doubts. After carefully looking back and forth twice, he raised his head to look at him in surprise. .The excited look made Park Xingxiu couldn't help laughing.

"Great brat!"

He rushed over and hugged Park Xingxiu's neck and shook his body vigorously. Gao Nansun didn't know how to express the joy in his heart, and he didn't know how to praise the smirking guy in front of him. He only knew the warmth of hope being ignited in his heart. The intention almost made him forget everything, hugged him fiercely and didn't want to let go.

Park Heung-soo caught Gao Nam-sun, who was pressing down with all his weight, as if sharing the same excitement and joy, brewing the same shimmering hope, he grinned so much that he was about to shed tears, closed his eyes and buried his face in the man's shoulder, Regardless of whether there were other people passing by, he wrapped his arms around his waist tightly like that.

"I promise you, I will definitely go to college."

"So you came to borrow notes?" Song Xiajing raised her eyes and looked directly into Gao Nanshun's eyes.The tone was flat and gentle, but mixed with a hint of imperceptible meaning.

"Well, I want to do something to help Xingxiu." Gao Nanshun scratched his cheek with his fingers, and unconsciously showed a faint smile, which was filled with overflowing pride and overly obvious sweetness.

"..." Why is the girl's intuition so keen? At this moment, Song Xiajing could hardly help complaining, but she chose to speak naturally after a two-second silence: "Okay, no problem. I'll go and tidy it up. I'll bring you whatever I can. But..."

Because of the situation where the girl paused for a long time, Gao Nanshun asked with some doubts and worries: "What?" Is there any inconvenience?The notes of Song Xiajing, the number one student in the school, are too tempting. It must be a pity if I can't borrow them...

"...However, you have to agree to fulfill one of my wishes."

"desire?"

"That's right." Seeing Gao Nanshun's puzzled and ignorant expression, Song Xiajing couldn't help chuckling anymore. She found that Gao Nanshun was sometimes so innocent and cute, "But I haven't thought it through yet. Tell you."

"..." I don't know what kind of medicine she sells in the gourd, but in order to help Pu Xingxiu borrow the number one study notes in the school, such a small request is not a problem at all, Gao Nanshun nodded meaninglessly: "No question."

"Xingxiu, I have a surprise gift for you~"

Gao Nanshun left this sentence and went out to work, leaving Park Heung-su at home with full of doubts facing the book.As a result, because of such overly tempting words, he realized that it had been an hour, and he had only turned two pages of the literature book in front of him, and all his thoughts were hovering over the words left by Gao Nanshun and it was difficult to take back.

What could it be?Could it be a reward for his progress in this exam?Didn't he already have it... Before he clearly kissed him like that...

"YIXI! The brat is really addictive!"

Simply throwing the book aside, Pu Xingxiu lay flat on the floor and stared at the ceiling in a daze, but in his heart he began to silently count down the time when Gao Nansun's part-time job ended, and it took him two full hours of suffering before he heard the door open at the entrance sound.

Jumping up excitedly, Park Xingxiu hurriedly picked up the books that had fallen on the floor and put them neatly on the low table, adjusted his sitting posture and pretended to read books seriously.When Gao Nanshun shouted "I'm back" and took off his shoes and walked in from the entrance, he looked up as if he had just looked away from the book: "Oh, I'm back."

Gao Nanshun held a paper bag in his hand, the clean surface was blank, without any decoration or words, so Park Xingxiu couldn't guess what it could be, is it food?Sushi?He shouldn't be getting his salary yet; or is it just kimbap?As for a surprise gift...

Gao Nanshun put the bag on the low table, and while taking off his coat, he raised his chin at Park Xingxiu to signal him to look at it himself: "Let's have a look, a surprise gift."

Park Xingxiu suppressed his faintly accelerated heartbeat and took the heavy bag. He couldn't help feeling both excited and looking forward to it. He was a little puzzled when he saw the things that looked like books or notebooks. When he saw the labels on the covers of those books, After saying the same name, all the joy and excitement were instantly extinguished like a flame, not even a single spark left.

Gao Nanshun didn't notice his stiff facial expression at all, and was still immersed in the sense of accomplishment of making surprises alone. He took off his coat and sat down cross-legged. He looked at the book that Park Xingxiu was flipping and opened his mouth to explain the joyful emotions. Can't hide it: "I went to Song Xiajing to borrow it, how about it? I'm touched~ This girl deliberately asked for a wish to be fulfilled, but she borrowed all the notes in such a complete way? Hehehe."

"What?" After hearing his words, Park Xingxiu immediately raised his head, his eyes locked on his face, and his eyes were firmly fixed on him.After hearing the words just now, the whole heart immediately hung high in the air sensitively, trembling slightly. "What did you say?"

"Ah?" Seeing Pu Xingxiu's unexpected expression of not being surprised but somewhat elusive, Gao Nanshun also froze in place, unable to respond, did he say something wrong just now?

"What did you say she asked for?"

"... asked me to fulfill her wish. What's wrong? Little girls just like to talk about it." Gao Nanshun felt inexplicable and replied, "Although she doesn't look like a little girl at all." .

"..." It is undeniable that the originally tense and expectant mood darkened in an instant, and he only felt that at this moment, the entangled and flaming negative emotions were breeding again, piercing the original dark clouds with haze and lightning Bursts of sky burst violently in his heart, "You just promised anything!"

Shocked by Park Heung-soo's sudden bad attitude and gloomy expression, Gao Nanshun hardly dared to speak for a few seconds, and when he finally digested the strong meaning of blame in this sentence, he began to defend himself unwillingly: "What? Whatever! I'm here to help you! Who else has better notes than hers?"

"Where is helping me! Is it possible that only her notes can be read? If you don't read them, will you count down forever?" Gao Nanshun's words were like igniting the bomb that had been hidden in his heart for a long time, and Park Xingxiu found that he could no longer control all his notes. Emotions, roaring out the dissatisfaction that has been accumulated for a long time. "Is that why you admire her that much?"

"What and what! What does this have to do with my admiration for her? Don't distort the facts, okay! Isn't the number one note in the school precious?" Gao Nanshun felt so wronged for the first time, no matter how bad Park Xingxiu treated him in the past , ridiculed him, he knew that there was a reasonable reason, but this time, he didn't understand where his anger came from anyway, so he just felt that he was wronged and blamed for no reason , the grievance gradually swelled, and gradually turned into heavier anger as Park Xingxiu yelled back without showing any weakness.

"Do you dare to say that you don't appreciate her? The number one in the school, as you said, she is the number one in the school, even the notes are so precious, who would not appreciate it!" So painful, so sad and painful, And impetuously, he was at a loss, this jealousy made him fidget like being roasted, he couldn't think of a way to overcome it, couldn't find an outlet for salvation, so he could only choose extreme self-protection, and chose to fight back without hesitation.

Gao Nanshun stood up abruptly, and looked down at Park Xingxiu who was sitting across from Song Xiajing's notes and ignored them. Anxiety, dissatisfaction and grievances rushed into his heart, forcing him to break free as if he wanted to destroy everything. Following Park Xingxiu's words, the facts became more and more untrue: "Yes, you are right! Of course I admire her! The first in the school, she is good at studying and beautiful, and she helped me so many times without hesitation. How could I not like!"

"..."

As soon as this sentence was said, even Gao Nanshun himself knew that what he said was too much, but he couldn't bear to explain and take back that sentence, and he was full of grievances that were wronged by Park Xingxiu and that he was blamed for nothing. Glancing at the man with his head bowed silently, he turned around with lingering anger and walked towards his own small room.

As soon as his left hand closed the doorknob, the man's deep voice came from behind him again, but this time it was mixed with a strong sense of loneliness and trembling.

"What you said...are you telling the truth?"

"..."

The end of the cautious words fell on the tip of his heart, Gao Nanshun froze his body, his left hand trembled uncontrollably, he turned his head to take a look at the man's appearance, but forced himself to stop and turn his head cruelly Actions.Staring at the smooth surface of the wooden door, he gritted his teeth and said, "Of course."

Park Heung-su stood up in a panic the moment he walked towards the small room, but he didn't even have the strength to lift the steps he wanted to take. Gao Nam-soon's words seemed to be engraved in his heart word by word. On it, let him taste the sharp and piercing pain.The whole person was stunned in place like a blow to the head, and he no longer had the confidence to shout out any words of blame and doubt.

It was like digging his own grave.

He felt pain like a broken heart.

That person's back was so cold and ruthless for the first time, with an aura of indifference and rejection, which isolated him far from the world.Whether it's crying or yelling, he doesn't hear or understand him at all.Like a jumping clown, he had to spin desperately on his own lonely stage.Then the whole person lost three souls and seven souls.

Park Xingxiu felt like he had entered a vacuum, and all the time was dragged infinitely long, he was struggling to express something, but no one could notice him, no one was listening, no one understood him, no one came to help He, he couldn't hug the person he longed for, he couldn't kiss his cheek anymore.

The answer that man gave was fatal to him.

He has been lying to himself for so long, how to get such subversion.

The moment the decisive sound of closing the door echoed crisply, Park Xingxiu sat down on the ground as if he lost his strength, the books spread out on the low table were knocked to the ground by the force of his arm, and the words "Song Xiajing" dazzled in front of his eyes, He stared at the three words closely, seeing every stroke and every stroke clearly.

That is not the slenderness of boys' rough handwriting, as if it can reflect the gentleness of the owner of the handwriting.But at this moment, he looked like a ferocious devil, smiling triumphantly and mocking his sentimentality.

How persistent he is.

But how easy it is to lose.

It can easily be defeated.

Park Xingxiu didn't really regret it until his vision blurred the three black writing.He shouldn't, shouldn't have yelled these questioning words at him, how could he have the right, if he didn't, it wouldn't be such a tragic moment.

A door separates the two worlds. At that time, the two people who were sleeping or being intimate were sleeping together, but now he was sitting alone under the bright light, covering his face and choking.

It was as if sadness was pouring over his shoulders, and the breath of despair even blinded the reality.

Jealousy, it has the power of a thousand arrows to pierce the heart.

Sore and sore.

Rotten heart and bone.