this is love

[When I am happy, I feel a little panic, and when I laugh, I shed tears of emotion.I can't believe in pure happiness, and I am calm and uneasy about the ups and downs of life. 】

"YIXI! These boys are running faster than each other! This chairman is too prestige..." Gao Nanshun raised his hand and put the broom on his shoulders, stood at the back door of the classroom and looked out, seeing that there was no one there. He sighed helplessly in the corridor, turned around and looked at the figure leaning against the window.

Park Heung-soo lowered his head and adjusted the media volume of his mobile phone, and flicked his fingertips across the screen. Even with headphones on, he could hear the dissatisfaction and irritability in Gao Nam-sun's words. The person who expressed his depressed mood with his lower lip finally coldly chose to stand by and watch.

"You better clean up quickly, because you can't even eat."

"..." Gao Nanshun stared at the guy who didn't even raise his head, and his unhappiness doubled immediately. He couldn't help raising the broom in his hand, pretending to throw it at the opponent fiercely, and muttered threateningly. "I owe you a beating, brat" but found that there was nothing he could do about him other than pretending to be ruthless.

Turning down the volume of the music playing, Park Heung-soo looked up at Gao Nam-sun, who was bending over while sweeping the floor and muttering "Oh my waist" plaintively. The boy took off his school uniform jacket and threw it on his desk. Because of the bent back, the long hair tail slipped into the collar of the shirt, so one can see that Gao Nanshun's hair has grown a lot. Although it is still fluffy on the top of the head, the swirls can be vaguely seen and maroon The curls are distinguished by the black roots.

Gao Nanshun has always had an unwritten law in his heart: even if he doesn't have too much money to enjoy life, he must perm his curly chestnut hair.Park Heung-soo once asked him curiously, and the answer he got was "Because it suits me very well, don't you think?" Although he still expressed difficulty in understanding, he had to admit that Gao Nam-sun like this is very cute.Whenever he acted like a baby to him with his disheveled curly hair, Park Xingxiu could hardly restrain the urge to hold him in his arms.

From Park Xingxiu's point of view, Gao Nam-sun, who is obviously not much shorter than himself and is already very tall, is surprisingly harmonious with such an overly delicate face.His eyebrows had a gentle curvature, completely different from his own.The inner eyes don't know whether it's because of the slender end of the eyes or the slender eyelashes, but they always have a bright and tender aura, but he remembers the sparkle in those eyes when they turn red, which always makes his heart tremble .There is also the tip of the nose. Park Xingxiu likes the curvature of the bridge of his nose, it is so soft and natural that it is really handsome.Lips... This is the curvature, when you are naughty or acting like a baby, the corner of your mouth is slightly raised and smiled, just like a peach blossom in full bloom...

Gao Nanshun's lips approaching closer and closer in front of him reminded Park Heung-su of the first kiss he stole that night before.Every time the kiss that was deeply imprinted in his heart was pulled out of his memory, it would make his heart throb, and even the slightest satisfaction of the desire for Gao Nanshun that had been suppressed for too long would make every cell in his body tremble.And Gao Nanshun, who is right in front of him now, seems to be only a stone's throw away from him, as long as he leans forward a little, he can kiss him again.

……Wait a moment.what happened?

"Xingxiu~" Gao Nanshun's curved eyes seemed to hold up a handful of stars, and it was indescribably beautiful against the backdrop of the setting sun, but because of this soft call with a smile, Park Xingxiu seemed to be hit hard. Falling back to reality in the sky full of thoughts, when he found that he had been staring at Gao Nanshun in a daze just now, and now Gao Nanshun, who was only a short distance away from him, was looking at him with a clear smile and squinting his eyes, he almost His legs were so weak that he almost fell to the ground.

In a panic, he moved his eyes away and wandered around. Park Xingxiu subconsciously moved closer to the back window, his eyelashes trembling slightly, he did not dare to raise his eyelids to look at that person again, he wanted to pretend to speak naturally but was betrayed by the trembling in his voice The panic in my heart: "What, what are you doing?"

Gao Nanshun's smile suddenly became very unsatisfactory. Regardless of the dust raised, he drove the broom on his shoulder again, raised his free hand and picked Park Xingxiu's chin with his index finger, and said jokingly: "stare at me so intently. What are you doing? Are you in love with me?"

As if the most hidden secret deep in his heart had been exposed, Park Xingxiu's whole body stiffened with his heart beating like a drum, and his right hand tightly clenched the phone in his trouser pocket, as if even the fuselage had become It was hot, and his palms were dripping with sweat.The small piece of skin on his chin that Gao Nanshun's fingers touched also burned, and the heat spread all the way to his heart, making him almost speechless.

I love you, I do love you.

But you, when will you understand.

"What's the matter! It's so dirty, brat, hurry up and leave!"

In the end, he avoided Gao Nanshun's question in an evasive way. Park Xingxiu stood unable to move for a long time in the aftertaste of his heart trembling and throbbing, watching Gao Nanshun finish the cleaning with an excited smile as if he had caught him, curled up The fingers of his right hand, which had been exerted continuously until they were paralyzed, slowly relaxed, as if the tense strings in his heart were also loosened. Park Xingxiu suddenly had the urge to cry.

He had imagined the scene of confessing to Gao Nanshun.

That person hugged him with a smile, resting his head on the side of his neck, letting the disheveled curly hair tickle his ears; or his eyes filled with tears instantly, and then gently held his right hand and slowly tightened the twined fingers or, it was the lines of his cheeks that stiffened, and he responded to his love words with eyes full of incredulity and complex emotions; and what was even more painful was that he frowned slightly, unable to hide his disappointment and disgust, but he had to force himself to suppress it. Emotions barely dealt with...

He has imagined many, many, but no matter what kind of appearance, he dare not make judgments.Because it is difficult to push himself to take that step, he can only live in the panic of the last second or the next second again and again, chewing the sad love alone.

After Gao Nanshun packed up all his things, the two of them walked out of the teaching building, and the setting sun was basically close to the horizon.Half of the sky is reflected in a warm orange.

Park Xingxiu turned around after hanging up the phone call to his sister, and saw Gao Nanshun leaning against the wall with his head down, wondering what he was thinking, his right foot rubbing gently on the ground, and he felt an inexplicable sense of loss faintly.Just standing there looking at him like that, Park Xingxiu didn't approach him immediately, but just stood two meters away and observed him silently.

Start thinking about it again, you guy.

Even himself sighed, as if no matter what Gao Nanshun was thinking, he could see it all at a glance. This person was inconceivably transparent in front of him. Such a high degree of fit made him sigh, and he returned to him after a long detour. Gao Nanshun is like the only destiny arranged by fate.So he fell in love with him with all his heart.

"Hey, brat."

After hearing his voice, Gao Nanshun raised his head and looked at him blankly. Park Xingxiu sighed helplessly when he saw the sadness that could not be concealed in his eyes, and then smiled slowly, with a soft and sly light in his eyes. : "Go buy some snacks."

As if he finally understood what he said, Gao Nanshun's expression softened a bit, he took a deep breath to revive his spirit, and he returned to his usual childlike appearance in front of him, with unconcealable excitement in his eyes: "Go quickly!" Click!" After speaking, he dragged his arm and walked towards the school gate.

The supermarket was almost emptied. Gao Nanshun excitedly picked and threw all the snacks that the two of them liked into the shopping basket in Park Xingxiu's hand. Looking at the snacks in the basket that could hardly fit, Park Xingxiu shook his head helplessly. , but the corners of his mouth couldn't help but rise.It's been a long time since I ate snacks. If I think about it carefully, since I separated from this guy, he has lost the desire to eat snacks. He lives in a daze every day, and even the meals are often tasteless. How can he still have the energy to buy snacks? ?

When walking home with two big bags of snacks, Gao Nanshun was still smiling and eager to wait. Park Xingxiu was walking obliquely behind him with the snack bag, looking at Gao Nanshun's fluffy short chestnut hair on the back of his head, he couldn't help thinking Reach out and touch.Sometimes looking at this person, no matter how anxious my heart is, it will gradually calm down.It was like waking up in the morning in the cold winter and seeing the sunlight in a room dazzled his eyes, it was bright and warm, and it was so beautiful that it moved his heart.

While staring at him in a daze, Gao Nanshun suddenly turned his head. Park Xingxiu's overly gentle expression was captured perfectly. For a moment, he seemed to be so stiff that he could only walk forward mechanically. He quickly looked away casually. Looking at Gao Nanshun's house not far ahead.

Seeing the embarrassment of him pretending to avoid his gaze, Gao Nanshun almost couldn't help bursting into laughter, turned his head and grinned to dismiss all the smiles first, and looked at the man again with a righteous and awe-inspiring look as if he was walking on a model walk A similar posture.

"Hurry up, brat!" After scolding him with a smile, he still couldn't help it, Gao Nanshun muttered softly, "What are you pretending to be, really..." After running two steps forward, he felt the person behind him speeding up a little. .

Carrying two bags of snacks bought from the supermarket, Gao Nansun kicked off his shoes at the entrance and ran into the room first. Seeing his look full of anticipation, Park Xingxiu, who stayed behind and closed the door, couldn't help laughing.It seems that it has been a long time since the two of them nestled in the small room of Gao Nanshun's house, eating snacks and reading comics.

Fortunately, their times coincided once again.

Poured two bags of snacks on the laid quilt, Gao Nanshun threw off his schoolbag and sat down cross-legged, took out a comic book and said to Park Xingxiu, who had already been lying on his side with a smile, "You know? From now on, the one who speaks will be I want to be a slave." "Oh, of course." Park Xingxiu stared at the cartoon in his hand and replied without raising his head.

This was the game that the two played most often. Although it was childish, they loved it very much. The fun brought by enslaving the loser made them addicted to this game. The world surrounded by only two people seemed to be colorful and colorful.

The two people leaning on the wardrobe didn't speak for a long time, only laughter leaked out from time to time.Until Park Xingxiu's voice sounded, it finally broke the tranquility: "Have you lived here all this time?" Gao Nanshun turned his head to look at the people around him, and he couldn't help laughing because of the victory in his heart. Excited, he returned his gaze to the comic book and gave a soft "hmm".

"What did you do after dropping out of school?" I wanted to ask him a long time ago, but I have been delayed by many things until now. Park Xingxiu flipped through the comic book in his hand, but he didn't focus on the pictures in the book at all.

"Eat, sleep. Eat, sleep...sleep again." Staring at the cartoon in his hand, Gao Nanshun summed up the days that he could describe as "decadent" in the most concise words. No matter how he thought about it, he could only eat and sleep. Sleep is the only subject.

"Then why do you think you're going to school again?" Park Xingxiu didn't care whether he had read the dialogues of the characters in the comics or whether he had digested the meaning of the words he read. He just flipped through the book page by page, waiting to notice It was only later that I realized that I couldn't keep up with the development of the plot at all. "You don't like school."

After all, unable to pretend to read it seriously, Gao Nanshun put down the manga in his hand and leaned his head on the wardrobe behind him, shifting the focus of his eyes and finally chose to stare at the opposite wall, and said calmly: "It's just... I don't think I can live like this Or die." Lifting his eyelids and turning his head to look at Park Xingxiu, the man turned his head to meet his gaze as if feeling his heart.

"First I got up and went out, but the streets are full of adults, there is nowhere to go except the school." This time his eyes fell on the floor in front of him, and Gao Nanshun briefly described the situation at that time with a hint of a smile.Because of his words, even Park Heung-su's eyes became stiff. He should have thought of it a long time ago, how could Gao Nam-sun who left him, as a person who had nowhere to return to even if he had a family, live a better life. "I also remembered that my mother said that I must get a high school diploma."

Hearing the slight relaxation in his words, Pu Xingxiu's expression couldn't help being mixed with a gratifying smile: "Well done, brat."

"But..." At first, he lowered his head and looked back at the comic book in his hand with peace of mind, but because Gao Nanshun's words drew his attention back, Park Xingxiu turned his head to look at the people around him again. "Go get a glass of water."

The corners of the mouth that were slightly raised fell down in an instant, and Park Xingxiu was completely unable to respond to Gao Nanshun's orders, and the voice with an uncertain tone was unusually low: "Me?"

"You spoke first, you are a slave now." Gao Nanshun pouted his lips proudly, announcing the result of the game with a standard Nanshun lazy expression.

"Ah, it's really..." Annoyed that he had completely forgotten about this matter, Park Xingxiu sighed aggrievedly, turned his eyes to the man's face and saw a smile like a villain, he shook Not wanting to look any more, he stood up resignedly and walked out of the room. While walking, he turned around and saw the man lying down comfortably on the spot where he was sitting just now.

Suppressing his unhappiness and pouring a glass of water, Gao Nansun unexpectedly asked him to put it back for a while when he was thirsty before drinking. Admitting defeat and having to listen to him, he had no choice but to drink a couple of sips of water from the cup in his hand, and then put it on the low cabinet by the door.

But looking at Gao Nanshun, who looked like an emperor lying there eating French fries and reading cartoons, was not pleasing to the eye. Park Xingxiu picked up the pillow from the cabinet next to him and threw it on his face, pretending to squat down and pat him. back apology.

If you believe that this guy is really careless, he is not Gao Nanshun. He sat up abruptly and threw the comic book in his hand to his side. When he reached his shoulders, he put on a posture ready to fight, and his movements could not be more coherent in one go.Park Xingxiu watched his reaction and subconsciously put the pillow in front of him and took a step back: "Why?"

Gao Nanshun, who ran towards Park Xingxiu, slammed the pillow on his face, and then pressed the back of the opponent's neck with his right arm and pushed his knees up against his chest.Pu Xingxiu was forced to lower his waist, but suddenly he grabbed Gao Namsun's thigh with his free hands and lifted him up.

The whole person was lifted into the air and put on Pu Xingxiu's body, and he could almost easily touch the roof with his hand, so Gao Nanshun screamed in a low voice and panicked.But Park Xingxiu held him firmly without shaking, as if he had done it many times with ease, Gao Nanshun was half lying on his shoulders, and there were two soft pillows squeezed between the two of them, but that person Not affected at all.

"Let me down, I was wrong." Only then did Gao Nanshun, who was begging for mercy in a pitiful tone, only see the back of Park Xingxiu's head when he turned around. It was only when his back was hit against the cabinet door that he realized how Park Xingxiu planned to punish him.

"Ah! You..." Pu Xingxiu's legs were firmly held around his waist by Park Xingxiu, but his upper body was loosened by the impact. Gao Nanshun couldn't help but slipped a little, worried that he would fall to the ground and be doubled because of the impact on his back. Feeling tormented, he grabbed Park Xingxiu's shoulders to stabilize his body.Now I don't want to get off him, because it is very likely that I was thrown off.Panicked, Gao Nanshun could only scramble into Pu Xingxiu's arms, holding on to him but refused to let go.

"Ah! Haha...wait a minute! You..." He was still hitting the cabinet on his back, Gao Nanshun leaned back and almost could only look up at Park Xingxiu's face, the man looked down at him, with the most evil blooming at the corner of his mouth With a smile on his face, he had an expression of "see if you dare to mess with me". "I was wrong! Wrong...Yah!"

Seeing that the guy in his arms was tortured by him, although Park Xingxiu felt unfinished, he was reluctant to continue bullying him, so he hugged him and left the closet, but the boy hugged his neck even tighter again as if he was afraid of falling.Seeing his terrified appearance, Park Heung-soo couldn't help but want to laugh, cute, cute in everything, the appearance of Xiao Zizi enslaving him is also cute, and the appearance of begging for mercy in panic and fear is also cute, because it is Ko Nam-soon so no matter how you look at it, he is cute, so cute She didn't want to let go of him at all.

But in the end I had to let go.Pretending to be vicious, he threw Gao Nanshun's body onto the low cabinet next to him. Park Xingxiu loosened his hands and planned to back away, but what he didn't expect was that Gao Nanshun's legs clamped his waist tightly and did not let go.

"Stinky boy, you dare to let me hit my back against the cabinet?!" Even if he was let go, Gao Nanshun felt very uncomfortable. Seeing that he wanted to back away, Gao Nanshun subconsciously wrapped his legs around his waist even tighter, exerting all his strength. While sweeping towards him, he reached out to grab his skirt and pulled him over.

Because he was caught off guard by the force brought by his waist and clothes, Park Xingxiu not only failed to retreat, but staggered forward to Gao Nanshun's direction, but the man continued to use the force in his hand without realizing it, yelling "Are you looking for a beating, right? You've been itching for a long time!" Until Park Heung-soo was half-pressed on Gao Nam-sun's body due to inertia, with only his hands between the two chests.In order to stabilize his body, Park Heung-su quickly put his hands on Gao Nam-sun's sides.

When he came back to his senses, there was only a fist-like distance left between the bridges of the noses of the two.

The one who should dodge back, should be like this, both of them should.But no one moved, maybe they were frightened, or maybe it was because of other reasons, in short, they just kept this posture and this distance for such a long time.

Park Xingxiu felt that there was only one Gao Nam-sun left in his eyes, and he couldn't bear anything else.That pair of unusually bright eyes still shone with the light that moved his heart the most, and that light was now lighting up his heart through his eyes.It seemed as if he could feel the breathing of Gao Nanshun, who had become disordered due to the fight just now. The lightly blowing breath seemed to be scratching his heart, with itches and honey, which made his heart palpitate extremely. The rhythmic beat violently.

It's too dangerous, too dangerous, such a distance, such a distance to look at each other.This made him so nervous that his scalp tingled, he felt that he would be exposed, his heartbeat was so heavy that it was about to burst out of his chest, and the tremor in his chest even made his whole body tremble slightly.He will find that he loves him, has he already?Why is he still looking at him like this?Why didn't he dodge or push him away?

Can he continue to love him?

May I?

He felt like he was going to cry.But he was still trembling like that, slowly approaching with a heartbeat and throbbing that was about to die out, approaching, inch by inch, shortening the remaining distance between the two of them little by little.He saw that he was looking into his eyes without blinking, and he felt that he was also approaching him, or maybe he wasn't?Maybe he was retreating slowly and unknowingly, otherwise why at some point he was already firmly against the wall, and there was no way out.But he didn't hide, didn't push him away, and didn't say no, but didn't take the initiative to respond.He just held his eyes tightly like that with piercing eyes.

This alone made him so excited that he was about to cry.

[It is at the cusp of the storm, comrades are working hard. 】

Unable to bear it anymore, he smiled, grinning and laughing forcefully, too satisfied, is it a good thing after all?

I love you, I love you.What I want to say to you countless times, what I want to say to you, is the words "I love you".

do you know?Can you understand?do you see my heart

Whether it’s tears streaming down my face or smiling, I’m confessing to you. My heart that’s warm and beating belongs only to you.