this is love

[Love has always been a matter of thousands of twists and turns.How can you know how to love someone if you have never been abandoned or hurt? ——Zhang Xiaoxian]

After talking with Teacher Zheng in the library, Gao Nanshun walked slowly in the corridor of the teaching building, looking at the scattered students passing by around him, the warm emotion that had been circling in his heart for a long time Gradually settled down.He finally felt the temperature of the school, not hot, with a gentle and comfortable warmth.He who hated the school so much in the past has now slowly become attached to the unique feeling brought by the school.

Stopping to look out the window at the vast sky that is rarely sunny, Gao Nanshun took a deep breath, and slowly closed his eyes.

Maybe, because that person is there, I feel at ease.

After a while, Gao Nanshun opened his eyes again. Just as he was about to go back to the classroom directly, he was attracted by the figure that flashed by not far downstairs.After realizing that the direction the man was going was the garbage disposal room, Gao Nanshun frowned helplessly and clicked his tongue helplessly, then turned around, walked faster and rushed to the same place.

Pu Xingxiu strolled along the edge of the playground boredly, looking around the playground where there were few people after the morning meeting, he suddenly felt a little bored.I don't know why I am getting more and more unaccustomed to being alone for three years, and now even a moment of quiet solitude is no longer my favorite.The more he thought about it, the more he felt unbearable, so he fumbled for the cigarette case on his body. Park Xingxiu looked at the few cigarettes left in it, hesitated for a moment, and then walked towards the garbage disposal room.

Avoiding the angle that the camera can shoot, and confirming that there is no one around, Park Xingxiu took out a cigarette and took out the lighter to light it up. As soon as the small flame jumped out of his body, he felt his neck being slapped hard by an arm. Hoop.

"Ah! The brat is hiding here again to do bad things?"

Gao Nanshun's voice exploded in his ears clearly, and Park Xingxiu was so scared that he almost couldn't hold the cigarette in his hand.He hurriedly grabbed the arm still wrapped around his neck and tried to move it away, but the man resisted vigorously and refused to take it off.Shouting "I'm going to be strangled to death by you, brat", Park Xingxiu looked sideways and almost brushed the lips of the man who was close at hand.This time, he was really frightened, and the cigarette and lighter in Park Xingxiu's hand fell to the ground together.

Gao Nanshun, who was suddenly feeling cramped because of this close face-to-face, hurriedly let go of the arms that were wrapped around him, but the hands that were put down shook helplessly as if there was nowhere to put them. "Ah, who, who told you to come here to smoke secretly again!" Responding pretending to be meaningless, Gao Nanshun first squatted down to pick up the cigarettes and lighters on the ground, threw the cigarettes straight into the garbage bag, and then looked at himself. He put the lighter in his pocket.

Because of the "thrilling" just now, Park Xingxiu was still immersed in confusion, but he was clearly stimulated by the violent tremor under his left chest to stimulate the cells in his whole body.After reacting to Gao Nanshun's words, he caressed the still trembling chest without a trace, and said a little awkwardly: "Is it not possible?"

Because of his words, Gao Nanshun temporarily forgot about the situation just now, and raised his eyes to meet his gaze seriously: "Park Xingxiu, make an agreement with me."

"..." Because of Gao Nanshun's suddenly serious expression, Park Xingxiu couldn't keep up with his train of thought for a while, and stared at him for a moment before speaking again: "What?"

"Since I have quit smoking, and you have quit smoking but just picked it up again, from now on, quit like me, okay?" Gao Nam-soon's expression was hard to describe when he said this, but Park Heung-soo I always feel that there is a difference in it that he can vaguely feel.Because of the brightness and tenderness in the man's eyes, he couldn't help but smile with the corners of his mouth raised.

"Okay. I promise you, promise."

"Ah, brat, can you stop being picky eaters all the time? Didn't you look pretty edible before?" Park Xingxiu frowned helplessly as she looked at the sliced ​​radish that was picked into her plate.

"You thought I was the one who wanted to eat it before? Since you're not picky eaters, just eat it. There's so much nonsense." Instead, Gao Nanshun continued to pick up the few radish slices left on his plate, even a small piece. Don't want to let go.

"You...really..." Seeing the guy in front of him as if he was sure that he couldn't do anything about him, Park Xingxiu felt that he had indulged him too much. Just as he was about to teach a few more words, he was beaten by the approaching figure. I lost my mind.

Seeing Wu Zhenghao silently walking over with a plate and sitting down to eat, Park Xingxiu and Gao Nanshun were speechless, but they could see the same feeling in each other's eyes when they looked at each other silently. A slight expression of disgust.Park Xingxiu turned his head and looked at Wu Zhenghao again. He couldn't help the dissatisfaction in his heart and said, "Hey, let's go eat with your friends."

This guy has really upheld the belief that he would come to the two of them as long as they have lunch at school since he confessed.The atmosphere of the two of them eating together was completely broken.Park Xingxiu's dissatisfaction with this point has not accumulated until 01:30, it has almost reached a deep level.

What I didn't expect was that not only Wu Zhenghao didn't even pay attention to his words, but even Li Zhixun and Li Lijing followed with their plates. He stared back and forth at the three unlucky ignorant guys in front of him with a straight expression, then turned around and met Gao Nanshun with the same displeased expression on his face.

"Ah, really..."

"It's so noisy. It's really..."

Looking at each other for the last time, Park Heung-su and Gao Nam-soon chose to stand up and change seats for dinner at the same time.Seeing their reactions, Li Zhixun quickly asked, "Really...do you feel ashamed?"

Seeing the expressions of the three people eating together as a matter of course, they didn't even want to say any more disgusting words. The two of them turned back to back and went to other tables amidst the complaints of "what, what's the matter?"

Really... not even a good meal, unlucky guys!

The opposite figure has the same monologue in his heart.

Originally, I thought that all the accidents were over and the tortuous life would come to an end. Unexpectedly, because of the suspicious Nan Jingmin's suspicion, the situation broke out again.Li Zhixun was suspected for no reason, which made the three of Wu Zhenghao very angry. The quarrel in the classroom intensified. Although Wu Zhenghao, who was about to hit someone in a hurry, was stopped by Park Xingxiu, he kicked the desk overturned and hit him hard. on Song Xiajing's calf.

Seeing the girl groaning in pain on the ground, Park Xingxiu hurriedly moved the overturned table to help her up, looked down and saw the obviously injured girl's calf, said "go to the infirmary" and immediately helped her to go outside the classroom. go.

While walking in the direction of the infirmary, Park Xingxiu asked in a low voice, "Is it hurting so much?" After getting the reply "It's okay", Song Xiajing walked forward slowly with his arm, enduring the pain. I couldn't help looking up at his side face, seeing the serious look on that person's face, I couldn't help but feel a little doubt in my heart.

He is obviously a gentle person, why is he always indifferent and distant?Is there no one who will make him pay attention all the time... No, there is one person.That person is definitely different to him, how could he forget him.

For some reason, thinking of this made her feel a little gloomy, like an ominous premonition creeping up her spine, making her refuse to think about those more and more chaotic questions.But once there was nothing to attract attention, the pain in the calf would be more obvious. Song Xiajing bit her lower lip and tried her best not to let out her pain.

Gao Nanshun climbed up the stairs holding the remote control in the class that had just been repaired. Just as he was about to turn the direction, he ran into Li Jiangzhu who was going downstairs. The cheerful appearance of the girl reminded him of the girl who got No.1 just now on the bulletin board. News, boxing with her to congratulate, but the girl said with a little dissatisfaction, "Just say it with your mouth".

"Then what else?"

Before Li Jiangzhu could speak, Gao Nanshun's eyes were attracted by the direction of the stairs. When she looked back, she saw Park Xingxiu supporting Song Xiajing and standing on the stairs silently looking at this side.

Looking at the two people not far away, Gao Nanshun wondered how the two of them would get together, but as soon as his eyes fell on the hands supported by the two, he was overshadowed by another even more strange feeling in his heart. Confuse.But as soon as they noticed where his eyes fell, the two people also consciously let go of their touching hands as if they were electrocuted.

Before he could say anything, Li Jiangzhu was the first to ask in surprise: "Song, what's wrong with you?" He ran up the stairs instead of Park Xingxiu to support Song Xiajing. "Are you okay?" Song Xiajing said softly, "It's okay", and slowly walked down the stairs with the support of the girl, leaving Park Xingxiu standing alone at the stairs and not moving.

The moment he walked past Gao Nanshun, he still couldn't help but cast a glance at him out of the corner of his eye, thinking that he should say something, but in the end he had nothing to say, as if even the air became distorted under the slightly stiff atmosphere, In order to avoid this weirdness, Song Xiajing went downstairs with the help of Li Jiangzhu without stopping any longer.

His eyes lightly passed over the girl who passed by, Gao Nanshun raised his eyes and looked at the person who was still standing on the stairs again, inexplicably even his face showed a trace of unhappiness, but he didn't know it.Slowly stepping on the steps to the person, Gao Nanshun pretended to ask casually, but couldn't hide the slightly distorted breath in his tone: "What's the matter?"

As if afraid of any misunderstanding, Park Xingxiu deliberately put on a disgusted expression and frowned and said concisely: "Wu Zhenghao."

"It's him again?" The originally unusually unhappy mood grew even more because of the unlucky guy who committed another crime.And because of him, why does this guy always get into trouble?Always bothering others?Gao Nanshun didn't want to admit that he complained about him so much this time.The feeling of irritability disturbed him even when he looked at Pu Xingxiu, but even when he scolded, he felt that he had nothing to say.

After a moment of helplessness, he threw out the sentence "Pretend you don't know" in annoyance.Pu Xingxiu also lowered his eyes helplessly and pursed his lips: "I already know."

The two walked towards the classroom side by side. Gao Nanshun hesitated for a moment, but still muttered the question that had been brewing for a long time: "I didn't expect you to become such a gentleman, why would you be the first to help her out?" This kind of thing I've never seen you do it, how could it be Kim Min Ki, Bian Kid and the others...

"..." Hearing his words, Park Xingxiu's heart trembled slightly, and he turned his head slightly to look at Gao Nanshun's side face, looked at the elusive expression of the man, hesitated for a moment and said in a low voice: "You will definitely do the same Bar?"

"..."

As if a hole appeared in the frozen air in an instant, the stiff atmosphere began to solidify. Neither of them spoke anymore, and the silence suddenly rushed over with arrogance.It seems that he can perceive what the strangeness is, but it seems that he can't even grasp the slightest clue, and even the steps under his feet become heavier and heavier.

Clearly something is wrong.

When Park Xingxiu found Gao Nanshun on the rooftop, the man seemed to have fallen asleep.Slowing down his pace and slowly walking in front of him, looking down at Gao Nam-sun who was oblivious to his approach with his eyes closed, Park Heung-su curled his mouth helplessly.This guy is different from him, no matter where he is, as long as he feels sleepy, he can fall asleep without any warning.Besides, at this moment, he was so troubled that he would die, yet he could still sleep soundly.

Gao Nanshun leaned sideways on his arm, leaned slightly on the low table, and breathed steadily as if he had encountered a good sleep.After looking at him carefully for a long time, Park Xingxiu relaxed his movements and sat beside him.

Looking at the person sleeping peacefully next to him, it was as if all his dreams had come true, satisfying and happy.The warmth and emotion in his heart at this moment made him not know what to do.To this day, he still has a dreamlike sense of unreality about the fact that Gao Nanshun is by his side again. Those three years of gloomy time brought him a huge blow, making him always afraid of what it would be like if he could not meet him again Lonely life.

So looking at his peaceful sleeping face now, Park Xingxiu laughed silently almost obsessively, all the uneasiness and boredom in his heart were swept away.His eyes were firmly locked on his face, and he was full of thoughts that he had no time to care about him.

When he was fascinated by looking at Gao Nanshun, he slowly raised his left hand as if being bewitched. Park Xingxiu's eyes couldn't help trembling. When the warm and smooth touch came from the palm of his hand, he felt like being shocked by an electric shock. indescribable.At this moment, it seemed as if the world had been emptied, and even his mind became blank. He only remembered that this was Gao Nanshun, and the cheek he touched belonged to Gao Nanshun.

Pu Xingxiu leaned down slowly, and the face with closed eyes was getting closer and closer.At this moment, it seems that the wind has stopped and the clouds are still, leaving only the deafening heartbeat.When he was only a few centimeters away from the lips, he heard a soft whisper.The moment he froze in place, Gao Nanshun's eyelashes trembled slightly.

Immediately withdrew his left hand and sat up straight, Park Xingxiu's eyes swayed and wandered on the concrete floor in front of him. At this moment, his heartbeat had not subsided, he hardly dared to look at the people around him.Sitting in such a panic for a long time, finally couldn't help it, Park Xingxiu turned his head and looked at that person again.Gao Nanshun still maintained that posture and fell asleep, unaware of the kiss that was just left.

The silent staring seemed to last as long as a century. When he finally looked away, Park Xingxiu slowly raised his right hand to cover his red eyes. Accompanied by the bitter cold wind in the air, his shoulders kept shaking.

Park Heung-soo, you're done.

As soon as the news that Song Xiajing's mother was going to convene the school violence committee because of Wu Zhenghao's injury to Song Xiajing got out, the headaches for Gao Nanshun and the others began again.After taking an evasive sleep on the rooftop, Gao Nanshun realized that he still had to face the reality, so he walked into the classroom and stopped in front of Song Xiajing's position.

"Let's talk."

"That..." Standing at the top of the stairs, Gao Nanshun felt that he couldn't easily say what he cared about when he met the girl's gaze, so he reluctantly asked, "Is your leg okay?"

Subconsciously looking down at her injured calf, Song Xiajing couldn't help feeling a hint of sweet relief in her heart, but on the outside she still maintained a poker face, nodded her head lightly and replied: "Yes." I have to admit In fact, she has been waiting for Gao Nanshun's concern, but the indifferent appearance of that man before made her feel ashamed to run over to vent her dissatisfaction again.But now seeing his tangled face and obviously embarrassed to speak out, the dissatisfaction hidden in his heart gradually disappeared.

"Well, Wu Zhenghao..." After hesitating for a moment, he decided to get straight to the point. Gao Nanshun directly mentioned the core character of this conversation.

"What's wrong with Wu Zhenghao?" Song Xiajing couldn't bear the disappointment that swelled up in her heart, she turned her eyes away and didn't want to look at the person in front of her again.She didn't expect it to be like this. She thought that he wanted to express his concern for her, but in the end he completely took this concern as a foreshadowing. The real purpose was to care about Wu Zhenghao's safety.

"School Violence Committee, what are you going to do?" Gao Nanshun, who was ignorant of the girl's strange emotions, was still asking persistently, and Song Xiajing's expression of staring at the unknown direction with ecstasy became lonely.She shouldn't have pinned her hopes on this guy, it was obvious that he was a person who seldom cared about anything.However, all the situations of being cared for and helped before almost made her think that they had become a kind of "ally" different from others.

The result was just what she thought.

Seeing the girl's silence, Gao Nanshun tentatively asked uncertainly: "Is it too demanding?" As a result, the girl's eyes that shot directly over her were unexpectedly sharp: "Yeah." Seeing Gao Nanshun bowing his head in embarrassment, After all, she still couldn't bear it, Song Xiajing responded in a low voice with relief: "How can you beat my mother?" Seeing Gao Nanshun nodding her head in understanding, she couldn't bear the boredom in her heart anymore, the girl complained dissatisfied : "I'm ashamed to die."

"You don't need to do that..." Gao Nanshun, who thought she felt that her mother's decision made her lose face in front of her classmates, comforted her without getting the point.

"It's even more embarrassing for you like this."

"Don't get me wrong. Not you."

"Did I say anything? It's just..." Looking at Gao Nanshun's confused expression that he didn't understand his thoughts at all, Song Xiajing lost all mood to continue the conversation with him, and simply turned around and walked back to the classroom, leaving Gao Nanshun alone Stand still.

Looking at the back of the girl leaving in anger, Gao Nanshun, who still couldn't think of the reason for her entanglement, sighed helplessly.There was only one thought circling in my mind.

Girls, it's really a troublesome existence.

"Huh, I'm exhausted." Gao Nanshun, who lay down on the floor, closed his eyes and let out a suppressed sigh for a long time. These things in the class almost disturbed him, and this series of situations made him almost feel that they could not be safe. I'm in the third grade.But even though the road ahead is dark, Gao Nanshun still believes that these are just trials, and they will definitely overcome one obstacle after another and move forward all the way.

Like, like him and Park Heung-soo.

"Oh, you can still complain, that's not bad, you still have breath." Because of the momentary increase in weight on his stomach, Gao Nanshun pretended to scream in pain, and then punched the man who put his head on his stomach It is conceivable that the guy's chest was firmly caught by the fist.Park Heung-soo smiled and clenched his fist tightly, turned sideways and faced his face, because the turning head made Gao Nam-sun's stomach itchy, he also laughed and shouted "itching to death brat !” While pushing Park Xingxiu’s head with the only remaining movable hand.

But after meeting Park Xingxiu's eyes, he gradually stopped his movements.He was still tightly grasping the clenched hand, Park Xingxiu ignored his push just now, and just lay sideways on his stomach and looked at him, his eyes fixed on his face unwaveringly, Look straight into his eyes.

Even in a brightly lit room, those eyes are as bright as stars.

For a moment, his heartbeat became a little disordered. Gao Nanshun wanted to say something to break the tranquility that made him feel a little helpless, but his eyes swayed from side to side for a long time, and he didn't dare to look at the still persistent eyes again. He couldn't think of what to say at this moment. What can break the silence smoothly and avoid embarrassment.When will there be embarrassment between the two of them?After escaping like this for a few seconds, he still couldn't help raising his eyes to meet the sight that made his heart tremble again.

It hasn't changed, never changed, Park Xingxiu has always looked at him with that kind of gaze, deep and firm, stubborn and stubborn.It's just that he used to be unable to see what that gaze represented.

I don't know how long this silent staring lasted, because he supported his body with one arm, even Gao Nanshun felt a little tired, he didn't urge Park Xingxiu to go away, but slowly propped up his upper body and sat up.Park Xingxiu raised his head silently, but he didn't sit up. He just rested his head on his lap again, closed his eyes facing him, and let go of the hand holding his hand. Arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

He seems to enjoy holding him like this lately.

In such an atmosphere, Gao Nanshun suddenly felt that there was no need to say anything, needless to say, he couldn't say anything, he suddenly liked this piece of tranquility, as if the air was filled with secrets that belonged only to the two of them.Seeing Park Heung-soo's most innocent and relaxed expression in front of him, Gao Nam-sun felt that the sweet warmth in his heart could almost cultivate a flower, he raised his hand and combed Park Heung-soo hair, without making any words.

This silence lasted for a long time, and was broken by Park Xingxiu's hoarse voice: "After that..."

Gao Nanshun looked down at him, his eyes didn't open, he just murmured in a low voice, his arms around his waist tightened, and he continued what he just said: "Many times, I sleep alone at night. , will tremble unstoppably...after you leave."

As if losing his voice for a moment, Gao Nanshun felt the choked throat was unbearably bitter. Tears had never flowed to his eyes so quickly like this time. His heart seemed to be pinched little by little, forcing him to be out of breath.

What a heavy blow this must be, I brought it to you... It was me.Xingxiu, me, why do you value me so much?You wouldn't be in such pain if you didn't.

The hands stroking his hair were trembling uncontrollably, the tears that fell instantly fell on the brows of his brows, the hug around his waist became tighter, and the deep voice continued without stopping, as if to make the love of these years come to an end. Fill in the blank, make up for everything, the past that you never knew, the fatigue you didn't see, the fear of not being able to accompany you, the pain that you can't understand.And that irreplaceable miss.

In the darkness scattered by the moonlight, Park Xingxiu propped his head on his hands and looked sideways at the drowsy person.The faint blush around the eyes revealed the crying just now, and he felt helpless and self-blame, even though there was a mole of tears in the corner of his eyes, he still felt that it was because of himself that made him cry so much.Moving his gaze a little bit to look at Gao Nanshun's face carefully, he hoped that time would stand still at this moment, and this one glance would be eternal, so that he could just look at this person for the rest of his life without ever being separated for a moment.

Carefully approaching the nose and lips that were breathing heavily, the first light kiss at that moment was trembling with reverence and grief.

It seems that he can no longer resist the feelings that cannot be contained, and he is about to break the embankment. Park Xingxiu feels anticipation and fear. For him, Gao Nanshun seems to have passed the highest limit. No, there is no limit at all, but he is also at the limit. Come on, it's too dangerous.Even he himself couldn't grasp whether he would be smashed to pieces if he fell.

That separation made him realize the weight of this person that no one can replace, but this reunion made him gradually discover the gluttonous greedy desire hidden deep in his heart that devours everything.Want him, have him, want him more than anyone else.I don't want anything, I can lose everything, I can abandon it, as long as I can have him, that's enough.No one can replace it.Even if he destroys everything he owns, no matter how many bones and dreams he crushes, he doesn't care, because his whole heart hangs on him, as long as he is there, he is alive, a living person.

Such feelings with scarlet hot blood, I have to admit, this is love.