this is love

【What do you want most?Ask your heart directly. 】

【...Well, a secret. 】

【I want most... to be able to see you at any time, in the future life. 】

He hardly knew how he got home, how he spent a sleepless night, and when he sat in the classroom the next day, Park Xingxiu couldn't recover, and the tearful face always appeared in front of his eyes, With eyes full of reluctance and pain.Just like that, it caused my heart to ache, so that I was so dazed that I almost couldn't feel anything around me.

It wasn't until the noisy environment at the morning meeting was quieted down by the arrival of Teacher Yan, and that familiar name was mentioned, that Park Xingxiu was brought back to reality from his distraught state.I couldn't help but look back at the person sitting by the window, the anxiety in my heart seemed to be tormented by scalding boiling water, about to boil.

Hearing his name was called out, Gao Nanshun closed his eyes and looked at Teacher Yan who was standing at the back door. In an instant, the signal light of "coming" lit up in his heart. The person he had been afraid of but was forced to The reality we are facing is finally here.

After venting and crying last night, there was only a faint lingering pain left in his heart, and all the things to be dealt with next became mechanical procedures for him, without emotion, just as if he had withdrawn his soul, silently followed Follow instructions.

After Gao Nanshun followed Teacher Yan out of the classroom, Teacher Jiang was silent for a long time as if he was in deep thought. Park Xingxiu could feel his eyes covering him, but now he was struggling in such a panic that he didn't even know what to do.When the morning meeting was announced to be over, the students continued to complain about their grades, and occasionally someone talked about the reason why Gao Nanshun was called away by Teacher Yan.

Sitting in a classroom full of conversations, Park Xingxiu stubbornly fought against the indecision in his heart, rationally resisting the urge to get up, but there was an even greater desire driving him towards the result he wanted.After struggling for an unknown amount of time, Park Xingxiu slowly stood up, dragged his heart that was still suffering, and walked to the door of the consultation room with almost cautious steps.

The corridor after the morning meeting was very quiet, and there were not many classmates who came and went. Park Xingxiu stood alone at the door of the consultation room, staring at the doorknob of that door, as if trying to pierce through it.

The person inside now, I don’t know which part has already been discussed with the teacher, whether he is still discussing the transfer procedures, whether he is signing the transfer instruction, whether he has already bowed to the teacher...Thinking of these almost made him tremble with fear , The hand that just touched the doorknob retracted subconsciously.

Tortured by the heat and pain in his heart, Park Heung-soo turned around and wanted to escape far away. Sometimes he and Ko Nam-sun were too similar, and would subconsciously choose to run away when he was afraid of something. Aggressively blaming Gao Nanshun for running away, now he chooses the same method to escape reality in a panic.

It's just that when he met the meaningful eyes cast by Mr. Jiang standing behind him, he couldn't help but stop his feet.This person understood the bond between the two of them from beginning to end, and he could see through the entanglement and struggle in his heart at a glance, but the feeling of being seen through made him flustered instead of angry for the first time.Following instinct, Park Xingxiu bowed first, stood up straight and silently wanted to leave sideways, but was blocked by Teacher Jiang's words.

"It seems that you really don't want to," looking at Park Xingxiu's depressed face, Jiang Shican said with a smile: "Copy the book yourself." After speaking, he turned around first and walked away, pretending to remember something He turned sideways and looked at Park Xingxiu, who was stunned by his own words, from the corner of his eye: "Xingxiu, have you ever seen the victim and the perpetrator... play basketball together?"

"..."

Victims and perpetrators... Victims and perpetrators...

No, it shouldn't be like this. He and that person have never been in the relationship between the victim and the perpetrator.That title should not be added to them.They're just...just friends.The one and only friend who was played by fate, but who couldn't live without him even in death.

【What do you want most? 】

That voice resounded in his heart again through several years of time, instantly crushing all his hesitation and hesitation.

What do I want most... what is it?

The eyelashes trembled involuntarily, and Park Xingxiu shook his eyes and looked at the door beside him again.

"Have you decided yet?"

Because of Teacher Yan's questioning, Gao Nanshun pulled back his withdrawn consciousness, raised his eyes to look at the teacher sitting opposite, nodded and replied softly: "Yes." After staring at him silently for a moment, Teacher Yan opened the In the book in front of me, I found the page marked with transfer matters and put it in front of Gao Nanshun: "Then take a good look at this place."

Gao Nanshun lowered his eyes and looked at the words on the book, but he still couldn't really read them in. Just as he was staring at the word "transfer" in a daze, he heard the sound of the door opening and closing. "What's the matter?" Because of Teacher Yan's words, Gao Nanshun raised his head to look at the person who came in, and his eyes widened in surprise after realizing that the person was actually Park Xingxiu.

Park Xingxiu silently bowed to Teacher Yan first, and did not move when he heard the teacher say "Come back later", his drooping eyelids trembled slightly, as if he had finally made up his mind, and he clearly and firmly called out "" Teacher" two words.Teacher Yan, who originally wanted to turn his attention back, looked back at Park Xingxiu with a little surprise.

Hearing his voice, Ko Nam-soon, who had no idea of ​​Park Heung-su's current intentions, stared straight at him and frowned. "Gao Nanshun..." Park Xingxiu, who pronounced his name, cast his gaze lightly over.As if trying to let him know with his eyes that he hoped he would stop talking nonsense, Gao Nanshun frowned even more and stared at him.

"...There is no reason to transfer schools." Turning his eyes to Teacher Yan's face again, Park Xingxiu carefully bit down every word: "I am not the victim, and Gao Nanshun is not the perpetrator."

The complicated and sour feelings made him speechless. Gao Nanshun bowed his head deeply and stopped looking at Park Xingxiu. His heart was like dark clouds rolling in and rain pouring down from the sky. He was depressed but with the desire to break free pleasure.

"what is that?"

"It's just..." That sentence was hidden deep in his heart, and he shouted like that for many years, but it was buried by others, by reality, and by himself. It should have been said a long time ago, from the bottom of his heart That quote: "Just friends. No luck, now... reconciling."

The moment those words came from Park Heung-soo's voice, Gao Nam-sun couldn't help the thought of "saved" that exploded in his heart, tasted the feeling of being redeemed for the first time, and the joy of rebirth surged, forcing him out tears.It's been too long, he has really waited for this sentence for too long, so long that he thought it was impossible to hear this sentence again in his whole life.

The Park Heung-soo who was hurt by him like that, the Park Heung-soo who has been suffering for so many years because of him, the Park Heung-soo who kept hating him, and now the Park Heung-soo who said they are friends, it's all him, it's all him.

"Gao Nanshun, do you think so too?" Because of Teacher Yan's question, Park Xingxiu looked at the person who had been silent all this time.But I saw that he kept wiping away the tears that fell down with his hands, and he couldn't say a word.

"So, there are no perpetrators or victims here, right?" Seeing Park Heung-soo's heavy nod and Gao Nam-soon's lowered head, unwilling to be seen crying, Teacher Yan laughed with satisfaction.He said to Park Xingxiu, "Go out."

After Park Heung-su bowed deeply, he turned around and walked out of the consultation room in silence. Seeing his figure going out, Gao Nam-soon kept raising his hand to wipe away the tears that overflowed again, and bit his lower lip hard.

Hearing the sound of the door opening and closing behind him, as if he knew that person would follow him, Park Xingxiu, who was waiting with his back to the door, raised his feet and walked forward, and stopped in place until he heard his voice, " Thanks." Turning around to look at Gao Nanshun, Park Xingxiu had an unconcealable smile on his expression: "It's not free, it's conditional."

Because of his words, Gao Nanshun frowned slightly in doubt again, and Park Xingxiu's smile became more gentle, and he said the second half of the sentence softly: "You have to help me with everything." Seeing Gao Nanshun's instantly loosened expression, Park Xingxiu Lowering his head to hide his smile, he turned around and walked forward.

So happy.Never thought it would be this happy.Gao Nanshun couldn't help lowering his head and laughing, like the ice that had been frozen for thousands of years finally melted, and the beauty of spring flowers blooming is nothing but that.When he raised his head, he met the gaze of the person who had walked a few steps back, with a kindness and tolerance that he hadn't seen for a long time, that kind of gaze was no longer painful, but mixed with strong warmth.

As if he could finally breathe fresh air, Gao Nam-soon took a deep breath, quickened his pace and walked towards him, the smile on his face couldn't be concealed, and Park Xingxiu, who was watching him walking over, also turned around and started walking again.Gao Nanshun, who was following behind him, couldn't help but shift his eyes to him from time to time, this feeling of being so happy that he almost wanted to cheer and laugh made him jump for joy.How many times I followed him silently, only this time with overflowing happiness.

Looking at the man's generous back, Gao Nanshun seemed to see Park Xingxiu three years ago in a trance. Even though his height had grown a lot, his shoulders had become wider, and his figure had become taller, he was still Park Xingxiu, from inside to outside. From top to bottom is the unique Park Heung-soo.He missed Park Heung-soo for three years.He regained Park Heung-soo.

Thinking of this, it seemed that he could no longer restrain his excitement. Gao Nanshun hesitantly quickened his pace and approached him. His outstretched hand stayed in the air for a moment, but he couldn't help but hugged the girl in front of him from behind with a desperate attitude. people.

The man's footsteps stopped at the same place, but he didn't immediately break away from his hand as he expected, but let him hold him motionless.Almost no one passed by in the empty corridor, only two people stood there hugging each other without being disturbed at all.

Gao Nanshun wrapped his arms around him and hugged Pu Xingxiu tightly from behind, buried his face in his shoulder and refused to lift it up. The moment he hugged him, tears burst again inexplicably, as if he was afraid of whimpering or didn't want to Seeing his red eyes from crying, he just wiped all the tears onto Park Xingxiu's school uniform, leaned his forehead against his shoulder and closed his eyes to quietly feel the existence of this person.

He didn't refuse, and Xingxiu didn't refuse him.

Now any move to get closer to him is not in exchange for rejection, it is the greatest gift to him.Gao Nanshun almost burst into laughter.So happy, so happy that it seems that it will be broken in the next second.These situations that should only appear in dreams actually happened in reality, and he could feel the powerful heartbeat of Park Xingxiu in real life.

I don't know how long it took to snuggle up like this before Park Xingxiu made a slight movement, and Gao Nanshun gradually calmed down his excitement, and slowly let go of the arms around him. His tears blurred into a water stain, but fortunately it was not easy to see because the school uniform was darker.He raised his slightly red and swollen eyes to look up at Pu Xingxiu's face, and met the slightly red eye sockets of that person.

"Stupid stuff." Park Xingxiu laughed at him, but couldn't stop the upward arc of his mouth.Looking at Gao Nanshun's face that turned red after crying, Park Xingxiu felt his heart was so soft that it almost turned into a pool of water, with sparkling waves.

Looking at each other face to face like this for a long time, both of them laughed at the same time, as if even the sunlight outside the window was attracted to them. After three years, they looked at each other and smiled with the pain after the rain. Beautiful and richer happiness, shining brightly.

See, there is still nothing that can compare to our feelings.

I've been believing and I've been waiting.

Finally, let me wait until you.

thank you.

I thought that everything would come to an end in such a peaceful way, but I didn't expect that Teacher Zheng's position as head teacher would be removed suddenly. In addition, Wu Zhenghao returned to school again, and when the second class was in a state of confusion, almost no one chose to stay. Teacher Zheng, as the president, and because of his feelings for Teacher Zheng, Gao Nanshun tried every means to encourage the students to help Teacher Zheng return to the position of class teacher.

After discussing with Jin Minji, Gao Nanshun walked out of the teaching building. After looking around, he finally found Li Jiangzhu on the steps beside the playground. Looking at her rare melancholy appearance, Gao Nanshun couldn't help laughing out loud. , walked towards her slowly.

Park Xingxiu came out of the bathroom and walked slowly towards the class.Sure enough, after reconciling with Gao Nanshun, even his mood became much easier.It was the right choice.Thinking of this, Park Xingxiu couldn't help smiling, and turned his gaze to the window in the corridor, but he couldn't help but stop, and slowly even the smile disappeared.

Looking at the back of Gao Nanshun and Li Jiangzhu sitting side by side on the side of the playground, Li Jiangzhu jokingly pushed down Gao Nanshun and Gao Nanshun patted her shoulder and left after getting up, these scenes brought an invisible sense of oppression in the eyes, an inexplicable squeeze Heartbroken, Park Xingxiu withdrew his gaze, but he didn't know where to put it. After shaking his gaze for a long time, he finally returned to Li Jiangzhu who was still on the playground.

Is it...

He thought about that day again.He followed behind Gao Nanshun, standing outside the fast food restaurant, watching the intimate appearance of Gao Nanshun and Li Jiangzhu eating hot dogs together.These memories are crowded together in his mind and almost explode. Something in his heart has been protesting, expressing his dissatisfaction and irritability, but he just wants to escape. The answer those thoughts point to makes him afraid, he dare not Easily lift off the layer of film that is still in front of the answer.

It's... really annoying.

Not long after Park Heung-soo sat back in his seat, he saw Gao Nam-soon walking in. The man went straight to Kim Min-ki and stood in the middle of a group of people talking, just staring at his back in a daze. It was only with the exclamation that Pu Xingxiu's attention was drawn back.

The quarrel between Li Jiangzhu and Song Xiajing suddenly developed into an accidental injury and everyone was in a mess. Song Xiajing froze in place, holding a ruler that was still dripping blood and looked at Li Jiangzhu in panic. She couldn't say a word at all due to the blood that came out.

Gao Nanshun, who was the first to react, quickly walked over to hold Li Jiangzhu's injured hand. After groping for a long time to no avail, he took the handkerchief handed over by Jin Minji, and gently pressed it on Li Jiangzhu's wound, watching Song Xiajing helplessly. He just sighed helplessly, "Why didn't you be careful?"

Song Xiajing looked at Gao Nanshun, and then at Li Jiangzhu's painful face. The guilt and a more complicated feeling in her heart swelled up a little bit, making her scared and uncomfortable, but she couldn't even utter a word of apology when she opened her mouth .

After Teacher Zheng arrived in a hurry and took Li Jiangzhu to the hospital, the chaos in the classroom settled down. Gao Nam-sun went to the bathroom to wash his slightly blood-stained hands and then returned to the classroom. He subconsciously looked at Park Xingxiu's seat, I saw that person was thinking about something, and he stared at the desk as if in a daze.

Approaching Park Xingxiu and looking at him with a suppressed smile, Gao Nanshun just wanted to say something to startle him, the man suddenly recovered and raised his head, in the colliding sight, he couldn't understand the complicated look in Park Xingxiu's eyes, The smirk that was hanging on the corner of his mouth silently faded away, and before he could utter a word, the bell for class rang again.

Walking back to his seat with doubts and helplessness, Gao Nanshun couldn't help turning his head again to look at Park Xingxiu not far away, but that person was immersed in his own world again, and didn't meet his eyes at all.

What...you bastard.

There was a clear and crisp sound of cracking feet on the dry fallen leaves. Park Xingxiu lowered his head and stared at the fallen leaves crushed by himself. The side of the processing room leaned heavily against the wooden fence.Taking out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, Park Xingxiu took out one and held it in his mouth, and slowly groped for the lighter on his body.

All of this slowed down and stiffened his thinking.What just happened in the classroom keeps replaying in my mind.Sitting in his seat at that time, he was indeed anxious and worried, but in addition to the concern he should have for Li Jiangzhu as a classmate, the appearance of Gao Nanshun standing between the two girls seemed to fill him with anxiety.

The illusion of being lost, the loss of being robbed of important things, the uneasiness of being forgotten in a corner, and the unspeakable, sharp thorns, sour pain, across The discomfort at the tip of his heart made him extremely uncomfortable.

This kind of thinking is really selfish.

Selfish... the thought of wanting to tie that person tightly to my side.

Exhaling the smoke in his mouth, Park Xingxiu raised his hand and took down the half-smoked cigarette, threw it on the ground and stomped it out. The depression in his heart would only increase no matter what he did. He looked at the place where there were still two or three cigarettes left in his hand. He simply threw all the cigarette packs into the garbage bag, turned around and walked towards the teaching building.

It's strange what this unsatisfactory feeling of unsatisfaction is, even after reconciliation.

Pushing open the glass door and stepping into the teaching building, Park Xingxiu waved his hands to dispel the smell of cigarettes around him, and turned his head to find Song Xiajing sitting on the bench.The girl lowered her head, and flicked her fingers hesitantly on the screen of the phone, anticipating what she was thinking, and seeing her vacillating appearance, Park Xingxiu was silent for a moment but chose to speak.

"If you want to fight, fight. If there is a conflict, it is most effective to resolve it as soon as possible." The relationship between these two girls is just like the relationship between him and Gao Nanshun. They both care about each other so much but they can't let go of some superficial things to express to each other. My sincerity, so I always experience misunderstanding and hurt.Based on their experience, Park Xingxiu kindly comforted her. Although every time he saw her, he would feel a little discomfort in his heart, but he still couldn't see another friendship as bumpy as they used to be.

"Well... what should I say?" Seeing Park Xingxiu who turned around to leave, Song Xiajing hurriedly stood up and asked.This person and Gao Nanshun went from tit-for-tat to reconciliation, so he should know how to resolve conflicts, right?

Frowning helplessly, Park Xingxiu looked at the vice president with a high IQ but immature emotionally, and replied with a little impatience: "Do I even have to teach you this?" This is really inferior to Gao Nanshun. At the end of the crane, he at least knows how to chase after the person he cares about and beg for forgiveness.Taking a last look at Song Xiajing who was still hesitant, Park Xingxiu was too lazy to speak again and simply turned around and went up the stairs.

Perhaps every friendship will experience ups and downs, and it will become more brilliant after experiencing conflicts.After crying and apologizing, Song Xiajing and Li Jiangzhu resolved the conflicts that had been entangled in the past few days, and the atmosphere in the class also softened.

During the lunch break, Park Xingxiu sat alone at the empty table with a plate and ate. Just as he thought of Gao Nam-sun, he saw that guy quickly sat down on the opposite seat with a plate in his hand, with a smirk on his face. look at yourself.Reluctantly squeezing out a smile as a response, the discomfort that Park Xingxiu had been clamoring for in his heart eased a little. Looking at Gao Nam-sun who was eating seriously in front of him, the corners of his mouth turned up again due to the surge of satisfaction.

Although Wu Zhenghao, an unlucky guy, disturbed the quiet atmosphere between the two of them in the end, Park Xingxiu's mood was finally relieved a little after the day.It wasn't until after school that Mr. Jiang left him to punish him for copying that the uncomfortable feeling came back again. In the end, it was simply pushed to the guy who finished the copying with all his might, and he took the lead back home with childish but happy pride.

However, it is true that Wu Zhenghao is an unlucky guy.

What was originally a pleasant evening was ruined by him again.Park Heung-soo and Gao Nam-soon were inexplicably involved in Wu Zhenghao's cellphone theft accident due to a series of circumstances. After they were fined for cleaning the glass for no reason and asked to find Wu Zhenghao to come to school the next day, it was already 8 o'clock when they left the school. many minutes.

Gao Nam-soon followed that person, looked at the shadow of the person cast on the ground under the street lamp, and stepped on his head with every foot, taking revenge for torturing him with Park Heung-soo secretly With a smirk, it wasn't until the shadow changed slightly that he noticed that the person had stepped onto the overpass by the side of the road.

"Xingxiu." Looking at the back of Park Xingxiu who continued to walk upwards, Gao Nanshun called him anxiously, but seeing him turn around and look at him, he didn't know what to say, so he casually brought up a topic and said that he would be responsible. Asking Wu Zhenghao to go back to school, Park Xingxiu actually responded like that, and turned to leave after waving goodbye.

"Xingxiu." Calling him again in a hurry, the question Gao Nanshun wanted to ask was stuck in his throat but he couldn't squeeze it out. Looking at Park Xingxiu's face, he suddenly felt embarrassed to say, "What else is there?" "Pu Xingxiu asked feigning impatience, Gao Nanshun kept despising his tweaking in his heart, but in the end he chose to give up in frustration: "No more, let's talk about it tomorrow."

Although I may not be able to say it tomorrow, damn it.

"Nervous brat." Cursing with a smile, Park Xingxiu looked at Gao Nansun looking up at her, and laughed in his heart that he was entangled like a girl.But he didn't say anything, turned around and took a step.

"Brat, won't you be hungry? I still want to eat ramen." Staring at Park Xingxiu's back, Gao Nanshun raised his eyebrows and sighed, and walked forward along the road under the bridge, accompanied by the sound coming from his stomach The sound of hunger reluctantly chose to go home obediently and cook ramen by himself.

At the turning point, Park Xingxiu's footsteps slowed down more and more, until finally he stopped at the same spot, looking at the back of Gao Nanshun who was gradually walking away under the bridge, as if he could see him walking alone on the road in recent years Look, the imaginable loneliness is replaced by a touch of lightness today. It turns out that the power of forgiveness is so great that it is enough to change a person's overall atmosphere.

And the heaviness in his heart and the sense of satisfaction he regained made him feel even more emotional. It turns out that the power of forgiving someone is so great that it is enough to make him hopeful for his future again, as if his future life will only be full of... Looking at the light, no haze can cover up his powerful heartbeat.

Because of Gao Nanshun, the vitality he had lost for three years returned to his body alive with his beating heart.

He can't lose him again, can't.

That answer I never gave you, do you know what it is?

What I want most is nothing else, just to have you by my side, that's all.

Thank you for coming back to me again.