[Call for Papers] Fan Notes

Chapter 23 The Story of Names

I don’t know if it’s because Jingnan looks more and more like you, or because your death day is approaching, I’ve been dreaming about you in my dreams recently, even calling your name when I’m holding my child, this makes me really worried, and I even have to You can distance yourself from Jingnan.It's just that Jingnan is like you relying on me, crying and making noise after not seeing me for two days.He said that he was afraid that I would not come back once I left, and he did not want to have a new father.

My sister-in-law's attitude towards me is that she is better than strangers, but I know she is already amazing. She said that two people who love you deeply should not be enemies. We have done too many wrong things before. , we hope to have fewer regrets in the future.

Maybe it is through my care for Jingnan that I know that my sister-in-law really likes you; and it is also through my care for Jingnan that I know that my love for you is not ordinary love.I tried my best to make Jingnan never lack paternal care on the road of growth, and you have even faded out of his sight, would you blame us?Because every time Jing Nan raises a question related to you, the air in the whole room will become dull. You seem to be the past that we don't want to mention in front of our children.

Finally, one day, I still called your name because I drank alcohol for entertainment, and the accumulation of longing over time is terrible. I don’t know if there will be a day when it will fade away, but Jingnan still heard it. Chase me and ask who is Shanyun.

Sister-in-law is a smart woman, she told Jingnan that Baiyun plus Jingnan is Baiyun Mountain, and she will change Jingnan's name to Baishanyun in the future, okay?And Jingnan also agreed, from now on I can call your name openly, not only at night, but also during the day.

At the beginning, looking at a small child and calling your name always felt weird, but thinking about how you were called when you were young, it’s understandable. It’s just that after watching Xiaoshanyun for a long time, you often I can see your face.

Today Shanyun touched my beard and asked how my beard grew and why he didn't.These should be the knowledge that a father should pass on to his children. I told him a lot about the youthfulness of boys, and told him to chase after a beautiful girl. You won’t object, right?You probably wouldn't want your child to follow our path, would you?

I took a bath with Shan Yun today, the little guy was actually interested in my body, he even covered my body with shower gel with his little hands, and even asked me why his is not as big as mine, but fortunately his eyes are not like yours It's so sexy, otherwise it really feels like a sheep is in the mouth of a tiger.When you grow up, little one, your things will be as big as your father's.

Xiao Shanyun actually told me today that he was broken in love, that he would never like girls again, that girls are all liars, and that he copied his homework for her private boyfriend, and felt that he would never love again.Are all children now so precocious?Fortunately, he's only been around for three or two days, maybe he'll change his girlfriend tomorrow. This is not like you, you just know you like men, you're too stupid.

Xiao Shanyun was admitted to Haizhou University, and his sister-in-law seemed very happy. The incident of that year has long passed, so you don’t have to worry about it at all, and it is very likely that his future achievements will surpass yours. He is such a smart child.

Things always seem to be developing on the wrong path. Xiao Shanyun has also looked at me strangely recently. Does he know something?He has become unable to study hard, but if he is really willing to fail the subject, I can't help him.I have always forgotten to tell you that the relationship between Xiao Shanyun and his mother has never been very good. I don’t know what the reason is, is it because I got too close to me, or because my sister-in-law’s behavior of eating vegetarian food and chanting Buddha made Xiao Shanyun rebellious? youth resentment?The two of them have been arguing a lot lately, is it true that Shan Yun has really grown up and wants to know something about you, maybe he already knows something?It shouldn't be.

It wasn't until today that I found out that Jing Nan has a love affair with his father. He said he likes me, so why should this make me so good?My heart is confused, is it my fault, is it because I mistook Jing Nan for you?How could he like me?Doesn't he like girls?How can he explain that he likes girls purely because of adolescent curiosity, and the person he likes in the end is me.If it's true, neither you nor your son are good things. Wouldn't this make me ruin my whole life in the hands of you two?

The old disease of sister-in-law anger has relapsed, and the children nowadays are too ignorant of the heights of the heavens and the earth. I beat Jingnan hard, but he was just like you, he was beaten to the point of tearing his skin, and he insisted on not humming for the rest of his life.Are you distressed?What do you think I should do?

Sister-in-law finally left, she chose to commit suicide like you, but she deceived Jingnan but she couldn’t deceive me. When she left, she told me to take good care of Jingnan. I didn’t agree, but she left anyway. Do not agree.

You are all free, what should I do?Watching Jingnan's life like a walking dead every day, my heart is bleeding.You ask me if I love Jingnan?I don't know, I only know that I love you, I love you.You want me to take care of Jingnan for the rest of my life?That is impossible, he wants to get married and have children, he wants to have his own home, otherwise he will be alone when he gets old, what a painful and cruel thing that is.

Jingnan read your diary left by his sister-in-law, I don't know what he thinks, will he forgive you as your biological father?He ran to Baiyun Mountain alone as if he had discovered the New World. It was rare to see him regain his spirit. Do you think this is good or bad?

I burned the page of the quarrel between you and your sister-in-law, and I showed this notebook to Jing Nan, will you blame me?If you really blame me, come to me.