Jean Love

Day [-]: Didi, Didi, Didi

"Do we have to divorce? When will we divorce?" It was Zhao Xin again.

"You should sort it out first, calm down first, find the good ones first, find the ones you think are worthy of entrusting your life, and when you find them, we will go to get the divorce papers. Remember, if you don't find Before, our life was still the same, it’s just..., and our situation, remember not to tell those we all know, especially family members.”

"Then..., what should Quan'er do?"

"There is me in the whole child, and I will take care of it. I will be responsible for life and finances. Of course, if the one you find doesn't mind, you can let him go on both sides. By then, many things will be known to others. When children grow up, they will naturally understand how to understand their parents' good intentions."

"Where's mother? Her condition... She's not in good health yet."

"Yes, that's what I'm more worried about. Let's talk about it later. Anyway, we're going to live as usual now."

"Oh……."

Day [-]: Didi, Didi, Didi

Zhao Xin first sent a smiling face, and then sent these words: "They already know."

"Who? Who? Who knows? Who knows?" I was nervous for a while, like a tired traveler who was awakened by thunder and lightning during a nap. Swish, I sat up straight, all the nerves in my body gathered urgently, converged at one point, and my eyes He stared straight at the screen.

"Everyone in the family knows." It was cold, and I felt a chill.

"Does mother know too?" I was helpless, and my body began to tremble.

"Yes"

"Oh...!" My back that I had straightened just now collapsed again, all my nerves loosened up, and my whole body became sluggish again. I just read what she wrote later, and I didn't reply, nor did I want to say more. .

My mood began to be complicated again, she still hasn't grown up!At this time, I would rather she have a big fight with me in private than tell others, unless it is someone who doesn’t know me or my family, otherwise, others will pay attention, discuss it in meetings, and point fingers point.A living face, a living tree, let’s not enlarge it to protect the family, to protect the mother, just for her, for a woman, for her, it is very undesirable to spread the announcement prematurely, it is definitely a disadvantage practices that outweigh the benefits.As for me, I don't care about it, I really don't care, since I can afford her, how can I not afford the world!The office was brightly lit and smoky, and I sat quietly at my desk, listening to the ear-piercing Didi Didi, Didi Didi, transmitted from time to time.

I know that she is not feeling well in her heart, she is definitely not feeling well, and that pain is no less than mine. In the past three or four years, I have been ignoring her except for material things. As a woman, she must feel it, but, she I don't know exactly where the problem is.

Now, after learning the truth, she didn't fly into a rage, didn't ask her teacher to question her, and didn't look for death or life.Sometimes I can turn to comfort others in a happy way, which has made me ashamed. This is not just a silly and simple girl, she should be a great, simple, gentle and kind woman.

I think, the matter has come to this point, let her act wild and make some mistakes, she also needs to vent and talk.It's just that, when I want to return to my thoughts, I'm doing self-resolution in my heart, and at the same time, I have to give her some hints. Sometimes, silence is the best language.

And then, for several days, after work, when I go online at night, she will send a smiling face, grinning, bouncing up and down, I don’t know if it’s a relieved smile or a crazy smile. I can’t see her real situation. To, do not know.

"Let me be quiet for a while, and you also pay attention to your body, okay?" I don't want to say anything else.

"Well, you also pay attention to your body." She stopped talking for a while.

I was invisible to her, but I always felt bad, so I quit QQ, went to take a shower, went to the dormitory to sit for a while, lay on my back for a while, went to the TV room to watch TV for a while, went for a walk on the main road, smoked, and held it in my right hand The index finger and middle finger of my hand kept sending them to my mouth. The scarlet fire flickered on and off, and when it was burnt out, I lit another one. There were about three packs a day, not including the ones given by others.During the day, for work, I am a reasonably competent warehouse keeper. At night, my heart is like a lonely ghost.

I applied for another account, the Q name is called Shou Wang Tong Lian, and I added some men with different orientations from normal people, living with the prosperity and loneliness, which means to watch colleagues in the bustling and lonely.Watching - is the fate that the vast majority of homosexuals can hardly escape in the current reality.While watching, she is also fighting for it, just like Ms. Li Yinhe is fighting for the legalization of same-sex marriage. Year after year, she has never given up.Colleagues—implies the meaning of chatting with comrades, separated, Tong, refers to the same category, the same kind, comrades; Liao, homophonic, is a metaphor for spiritual depression.

I am like that lonely little tadpole. After awakening, I envy the warmth of others. I searched for my mother everywhere. I met a duck, a big fish, and a turtle... until I found the soles and the tail disappeared. , I'm tired, I'm tired, so tired!so tired!

"Let's go, take me around the first ring again." I patted the motorcycle driver on the shoulder, as if we had become old friends.

"Have you lost your love?" He raised his rough and resolute face, opened his mouth like an old fritter, smiled kindly at me, kicked the accelerator, started the car, accelerated slowly, and rushed out of the crowd.

"How do you know?" I hugged his waist, and there was a faint smell of a butcher, and I quickly sat upright.

"Even a fool can see it." He cheered and rushed forward.

"You are a big fool!" I told him to stop by the newly opened, remote road with sparse traffic, and told him to wait there. I stood on a piece of red soil, veiled, bare hillside, facing the sky, looking at the stars, Looking at the moon, loudly, presumptuously, indulgently shouting, screaming, roaring!During that time, I used this method to vent and decompress.

I called my mother, but I couldn't hear anything unusual. I thought of a lot of comforting countermeasures, which were hidden in my mind, like preparing sandbags and casting armor, so that in case of emergency, the flood will not come, and the wind will not stop. , I just wait and see.Time passed day by day, there was no movement at home, but those memories of Lian Yu were lingering, like a shadow, the smoke couldn't go away, the wine couldn't stop pouring, like an unforgettable movie, that taste!

For him, remembering is like opening a wound that is about to be healed, and forgetting is like applying pungent alcohol to the wound. Pain is inevitable. ?What is the cure?

Falling in love quickly may be the best way to forget as soon as possible. During that time, like weeding, I cleared all the imprints about Lianyu that had grown in my mind over and over again, and then set up my tentacles, like an insect, and started to explore and search.Limited space, limited crowd, but fate made me meet Lao Zhang.

Our two factories belong to the same gate and share a driveway. He is inside and I am outside. I am the warehouse manager and he is the driver. I will come first and he will arrive later.Occasionally meet, nodding and smiling when meeting each other, his greeting is very simple and warm: "Leader, have you eaten yet? Let's go have dinner together."

I smiled back: "Thank you, I ate."

On several occasions, the business of our factory was very good, there were quite a lot of vehicles queuing up to wait for materials, and some vehicles blocked the only road that he had to pass through to get in and out.Seeing that his car was blocked on one side, I hurried to unblock other vehicles, and when it was over, I apologized to him.He can always say calmly: "It's okay, wait a minute, it's okay."

As the number of times increased, my gratitude and apology to him also increased day by day, so I naturally paid attention to him and found out about him through others.He is from out of town and helps his boss to drive. He does not belong to the factory next door, but his boss has business dealings with the factory next door. Because of the frequent business contacts, his boss rents a house for him outside. It's good to have a place to live, but he rarely lives here and runs with the car most of the time.

There is a small market outside our factory, where you can buy basic vegetables and meat. Once, when I was shopping for vegetables, I bumped into him head-on, "Do you buy so many vegetables?" I looked at my left hand.

"Not much, that's all." He waved the dishes in front of my eyes.

"Where do you live?" I asked again.He pointed to me, and I was surprised, and even a little inexplicably happy at the time, because he lived on the same floor of the same building as me. "Do you live alone? Your lover and children are here too?"

"They are in my hometown. I live alone most of the time. Sometimes friends come to play, or another driver in the same car comes back to live."

"Oh, like this, I'll go play with you another day." I patted his arm.

He kept replying: "All right, welcome, welcome", very enthusiastic, but also a little shy.

A few days later, when I got off work in the afternoon, I saw his car parked in the factory next door. I guessed that he should be resting at the rented house at this time, so I went.Following the room number he informed, he knocked on his door. Unfortunately, he was going to the toilet and was alone at home. This time he was much more casual, shirtless, wearing a pair of boxer shorts that were pulled back to his knees.