Heart has a thousand knots

, did you draw it?I saw a piece of rice paper in his hand, with a small poem on it, beautiful eyes looking forward, and a sweet smile.As soon as I snatched it over, I gave him a blank look, and it was like this when I saw it, is it really stuttering or fake dementia?

Because of this meticulous painting, Lei Yunfei can pull me out of the corner of the professional classroom of the oil painting department every time.Senior and junior sister called shortly.He said it was the first time he had seen such a painting.The people in the painting are so elegant and agile, which is really rare.

I have always been reluctant to use sketches to describe small poems.Sketch, compared to Meticulous Brushwork, is a bit stiffer.Meticulous brushwork can make the characters vivid and more three-dimensional after delicate rendering.The beauty of small poems can only be shown with this delicate brushwork.

The little poems on the rice paper have been smiling at me quietly.

Nie Xiaoqian's glamorousness, Yingning's purity, and Aunt Hua's playfulness are all ready to come out.Lei Yunfei smiled, because he was destined to meet such a beautiful woman, Xiaosheng has no regrets in this life!

Lei Yunfei only knows that the person in the painting is my best friend in middle school, who studied in Chuanyin.No matter how he inquired, I kept my mouth tightly shut.In my heart, there are unspeakable worries and anxieties.A fair lady, a gentleman loves you.In Chengdu, which is two to three hundred kilometers away, how many suitors like Lei Yunfei should there be beside Xiaoshi?

I have to admit that in my bones, I have always been a little pessimistic and not confident enough.In the distant future, can we make decisions for ourselves?One day, Xiaoshi will leave me and become someone else's wife.

Have we been together?What kind of relationship is this between two intimate girls?In many silent nights, I think of Xiaoshi, miss her sweet smile, think of her whispering my name again and again like dreaming, my heart slowly softens, soft to the point of inexplicable distress, and then, The sound of dewdrops rolling on the tall poplar trees outside the dormitory was clearly heard.

([-]) This love can be turned into a memory

After graduating in 2002, Xiaoshi was hired by a middle school in Chengdu to teach music.We stayed together throughout the long vacation.Stroll along Chunxi Road, appreciate the leisurely pace of women in Chengdu; linger in Kuanzhai Alley, and experience the hearty foodie...

Staying with the one you like makes the long vacation seem short.In a flash, it was the end of August.During this period, we didn't mention work or whereabouts.Several times, she looked at me, hesitated to speak.

I didn't tell her that I had already made a choice between Beijing, Guangzhou and Chengdu.Life in Chengdu is too leisurely and suitable for the elderly, but it seems not suitable for young people.

There is an old saying: Don’t go to Sichuan if you are young, and don’t go to Shu if you are old.However, wherever the little poem is, my heart will live there, and my body must follow my heart.

I put the contract signed with an advertising company in Chengdu in front of her, held her hand, and looked at her with a smile.

Seeing my name behind, she took away the hand I was holding and stared at me: Shen Momo, who gave you the right to Chengdu?Who brought you back? !

I was stunned, thinking that she would kiss my hair happily as she did four years ago when filling out the volunteer application, and at the same time said sweetly: Momo, you are so kind.

"Shen Momo, do you know who secretly changed your wish back then? It was me!" Yang Xiaoshi bit her lip and said bitterly, "Your dream is to be a top-notch designer, but Chengdu is not suitable for you, not suitable, you know? ?!"

"Xiaoshi... I, I just..." Xiaoshi's tears made me panic and become dull.What I want to say is, Xiaoshi, I just want to be closer to you, a little closer.

"Don't guard me, you will have no future." Xiaoshi lowered her voice and said.The sadness in the tone made my heart suddenly cool down.We really have no future.

After starting to work, she and Xiaoshi hardly saw each other again.Until the National Day, meet to go to Mount Qingcheng.

Unexpectedly, while waiting for the sunrise in the echo pavilion, I met Lei Yunfei.

You have to admit that there are too many coincidences in life that we cannot explain.Just like my unexpected encounter with Lei Yunfei this time.

After being polite, Lei Yunfei's eyes stayed on Xiaoshi's face.

"Junior Sister, that's—her?" Lei Yunfei started to stutter again.

"Finally able to see the beautiful face, do you think Sansheng is lucky?" I teased, but Lei Yunfei didn't realize it, and nodded repeatedly.

To this day, I still don't know how much effect I played when Xiaoshi and Lei Yunfei came together.Seeing Lei Yunfei being courteous in every possible way around Xiaoshi, my heart inevitably has mixed feelings.Her gesture of neither refusing nor pandering made people more fascinated. Lei Yunfei fell deeply in love and couldn't break free.

I can feel that Xiaoshi has always been brooding about my choice.I think, for my choice, isn't there joy mixed in her heart?

If Xiaoshi chooses Lei Yunfei, I will leave immediately.

In the New Year of 2004, Lei Yunfei invited me and Xiaoshi to eat hot pot with my mother in Huangcheng.Lei Yunfei poured me a full bottle of wine and said seriously: Junior sister, you are the person I want to thank the most.Because of your painting, let me know Xiaoshi.Xu Xian and Bai Suzhen used an umbrella as a match, and Xiaoshi and I, if there is a future, must use your painting as a match.

What painting?Xiaoshi's face after drinking alcohol was close to mine, it was red, her eyes were blurred, and it was breathtaking.It's just that these eyes can't always look forward to and shine for me, and the affection flows.

Lei Yunfei, what secret do you two have?Seeing that I was silent, Xiaoshi turned her head to him.Lei Yunfei was a little surprised: Momo, you didn't let Xiaoshi see your paintings?

"Big, the secret is that you're drunk." I chuckled and didn't want to mention that painting again.

That night, after Lei Yunfei sent the two of us back to my rental house, Xiaoshi kept pushing him away: Lei Yunfei, you big man, you stay in the girl's boudoir, what do you want to do?

Sending Lei Yunfei away, and pushing open the door, Xiaoshi has already fallen asleep on the sofa, breathing evenly.It took a lot of effort to move her to the bed.Before turning around, Xiaoshi's arms wrapped around my waist.Her heart couldn't help but tremble, but she still maintained a sitting posture, restraining the madness of wanting to hug her and kiss her.

"Shen Momo," a vague voice came out of her throat, "Coward..." Then, her arms hung down without making a sound.After sitting there for a while, I kissed her lightly on the forehead.

That night, I tossed and turned on the sofa most of the night.

After dawn, I woke up to the sound of sparrows on the windowsill, and when I opened my eyes, I saw a somewhat dull face.Yang Xiaoshi squatted by the sofa and looked at me with red eyes.

"You shouldn't have come back," the first sentence she said made me fall into the coldness of reality again. "I know that you came back for me. But, like this, I feel very uneasy, especially uneasy. "

"Don't worry, I'm not a child. You just have to be good." I said.

How is it good?Xiaoshi then asked.

"Marry, have a child." These words, word by word, came out of my mouth with difficulty, but they were like an awl, piercing my heart one by one.

With whom, Lei Yunfei?Xiaoshi let out a breath and sighed.

If you are willing to accept him, I will bless you.When I say this, my heart is extremely sincere.It's not that I don't understand Lei Yunfei's excellence and Lei Yunfei's persistence.At that time, what I could understand, what I felt strongly, was our future, without each other's presence.

OK, you will be my bridesmaid.Wedding dresses, rings, all accompany me to choose.She looked at me and said.

I didn't know which tendon was wrong with me, but I agreed to her without thinking.Thinking about it afterwards, I don't think there was anything unexpected.What Xiaoshi asked me to do, I have no reason and it is impossible to refuse.

The most painful thing in a person's life is watching the one you love hold hands with others. At that time, you can't cry, you can't use tears to vent your suppressed emotions, and you can't write the pain that has already broken your heart on your face. .

Seeing Yang Xiaoshi put the ring on Lei Yunfei's ring finger, my brain still lost control in an instant.

Xiaoshi, when you put on your wedding dress, my feelings have already been put on cassock.

([-]) forever and ever

The next day, Yang Xiaoshi went straight to my rental house and opened the door. She was stunned by the scene of being ransacked inside.A few years later, I learned that she visited me on the second day after marriage. I tried to imagine her feelings, including sadness, loss, and even resentment.

Yes, my leaving without saying goodbye made it difficult for her to accept.She didn't expect me to go away quietly, so she waited until it was dark, and the landlady came home and found the door open, turned on the light, and found her curled up on the sofa with empty eyes and no words.

The Chengdu number was pulled out when I got on the twelve o'clock train.I just want to disappear completely from her world and let her live her life well.Xiaoshi is an only daughter, and her parents didn't get her until they were thirty.My almost unfeeling behavior is also related to the ancient concept. There are three kinds of unfilial piety, and the worst is to have no descendants.

Xiaoshi would not understand these thoughts of mine, so she was full of resentment towards me.In her opinion, my feelings for her are not worth a night of waiting.After guarding her for almost nine years, he couldn't wait another night for her!

When Lei Yunfei found her, she had already packed all the personal belongings that I couldn't take away.Those things are meaningless to me. What I want to take away most is the little poem; the only thing I can take away is the painting.Also, her 23rd birthday present to me.

The train took me to Kunming.I didn't know where I was going, so I just bought a ticket to leave Chengdu as soon as possible.

Stop by the green lake, look at the sparkling water, Xiangji