Growth pain

Yuan Sen has never seen Yuan Zhen's cheating partner, only heard about it from Yang Qiongfang——

I used to be a college student who was still in school, but then I stopped going to school, working in bars and then nightclubs.

Yang Qiongfang hated homosexuality so much, so naturally she wouldn't say anything good, she would only tell Yuan Sen when she heard something that made her happy.

So in Yuan Sen's ears, the college student went from stealing money to promiscuity to getting sick and being admitted to the hospital.

His life is very short passed in the mouth of others.

It was at this moment that Yang Qiongfang filed for divorce with Yuan Zhen.Her goal was achieved, but Yuan Zhen didn't get the happiness she wanted, and it was even more miserable.

She thought she would be extremely happy, but at the moment when the retribution really came, she didn't feel anything.

Yuan Zhen didn't express much grief for the life of his young lover who was about to die. From the moment the child found the first person to open a room, he knew what the end would be.

So Yang Qiongfang was not reconciled again.

As the child of two people, Yuan Sen was rightfully placed on the table as a bargaining chip. As for his own wishes, no one asked.Coincidentally, he didn't care too much himself.

No matter how these two people fight, he can stand on the sidelines.

Yuan Sen originally thought so, but Yang Qiongfang hugged him when he came back with his luggage.

Mother's arms are warm.

He still longs for someone to love him. Now that Yuan Zhen is gone, will this family be better than before?

Yuan Sen thought aimlessly, and didn't fall asleep until very late that night.

##

"He married my mother because everyone in the village gets married and has children at that age.

"After moving to the county and dating a college student, my mother knew that he liked men. He... never liked my mother."

There was a faint smell of alcohol on Yuan Sen's body, as well as the fragrance of mints, his side face was still pretty, his eyelashes covered a shadow, and his whole body was also trapped in the haze.

The two fell on Yuan Sen's bed, Lu Shining looked at the ceiling, his mind was blank.

Yuan Sen started to cry as he spoke, he lost control because he was really drunk, the force he held on his wrist was too strong, it hurt so much.

But he knew that Yuan Sen was in more pain.

"I thought everything would be fine with him gone."

It never got better. Yang Qiongfang's obsession with Yuan Zhen seemed to be engraved in his bones. Why did he hate Yuan Sen later figured it out.

Because once loved.

Love a gay guy who likes men.Yang Qiongfang will never admit that as long as she hates and retches herself, she still clings to the man tightly.

She can no longer have any dreams about happiness, and she doesn't want Yuan Zhen to live well.

After Yuan Zhen left, Yang Qiongfang always asked Yuan Sen about his movements intentionally or unintentionally. How could Yuan Sen know that he and Yuan Zhen had never had contact.

Isn't homosexuality a disease?

He suspected that Yang Qiongfang had also been infected, and she was ill and dying.

Dressing up today just to prove that I have a good life is even more laughable.

Yuan Sen sat in the restaurant, calmly listening to the conversation between the two, talking about his future.

Yang Qiongfang said: "His grades are not very good. I'm afraid he won't be able to go to college. You should find a way. After all, he is your son."

Yuan Zhen said: "Then why don't you go abroad to study, and you can find a job when you return home."

Yuan Sen listened, but there was no reaction on his face.

"Yuan Sen, you are talking about your future. What do you think? Just say something." Yang Qiongfang asked him.

Yuan Sen thought for a while and replied, "Don't you feel disgusted?"

The expressions of the two people on the opposite side changed.

"Think about it for yourself, you can do whatever you want, I don't care." Yuan Sen stood up, no matter what Yang Qiongfang called him behind him, he didn't look back.

The moment he walked out of the restaurant, he heard Yang Qiongfang shout: "Yuan Sen, what do you want?!"

##

Yuan Sen buried his head in Lu Shining's neck, more like a child than Lu Shining.

Lu Shining felt his neck wet.

"Little Lu, why didn't you go with me?" He suddenly asked vaguely.

Lu Shining was stunned.

"I don't talk to me very much recently." Yuan Sen said and touched his back, as if confirming his growth, "The little deer has grown up."

Lu Shining... Lu Shining knew exactly what Yuan Sen wanted.From childhood to adulthood, from the age of seven to the present, Hara Mori made friends with many people and became friends with many people.He grew up in an environment lacking in love, and what he longs for is also very simple-hoping that he is taken seriously, cared about, and preferably loved.

Yuan Sen fell asleep.

Lu Shining turned his head to look at his harmless sleeping face, suddenly felt sad, and secretly shed tears, but covered his mouth not wanting to make a sound.Just like when I was a child, I swallowed my grievances alone, wiped away my tears and knocked on the opposite door, praying that my neighbor's brother would find me to play with.

Yuan Sen frowned in his sleep and came close to him again, holding onto him as he did when he was a child.They were so close that Lu Shining wiped away his tears and raised his head slightly, accidentally touching Yuan Sen's lips.

That wasn't even a kiss.

But his heartbeat still accelerated uncontrollably, and tears welled up in his eyes again, turning into a crybaby.

There was a kiss between them.

An accident known only to him.

Children are not yet good at lying, and there is no need to lie.

The bravest decision Lu Shining ever made was to love Yuan Sen when he was least capable of loving Yuan Sen.

Knowing that this feeling will not be responded to, and knowing how much Yuan Sen's father's affairs have cast a shadow on homosexuality, he still stays by Yuan Sen's side without hesitation.

If no one loves you.

He gently hooked his brother's fingers.

"I will love you."

##

After that day neither of them spoke of what happened that afternoon.

Yuan Sen showed a look of amnesia, and Lu Shining naturally thought that he didn't remember when he was drunk.

But the two of them started going to and from school together again, because the time after school was different, Yuan Sen skipped one night for self-study every time.

Lu Shining said, "I can wait for you while doing my homework."

"There is no lecture in the last section, self-study." Yuan Sen put his arms around his shoulders, "Don't worry, let's get through with our head teacher."

Lu Shining was dubious and put his doubts on his face.

Yuan Sen reached out and pulled his face.

Lu Shining was promoted to the second year of high school, and Yuan Sen was about to face the college entrance examination.

After being divided into arts and sciences, Lu Shining's deskmate was a boy named Xu Liang, who had three daily hobbies - sleeping, skipping classes, and playing games.

He was very familiar with Yuan Sen, and often hung out with Li Jianhua and his gang. In the first week, he kept his mouth shut: "Lu Shining, borrow me to copy your homework, and if you don't, let me tell your brother."

The worst time was to say directly: "Lu Shining, why don't you help me with my homework."

Lu Shining tapped the pen in his hand, "Well, I'll talk to Yuan Sen."

Xu Liang still didn't understand what it meant.

I found out the next day, and went back to the classroom with a mournful face to apologize to Lu Shining.

But the boy blinked his innocent eyes and said to him: "It's okay, I'm not angry."

But Yuan Sen was angry.

Xu Liang curled his lips, "Is your relationship with Yuan Sen particularly strong?"

Lu Shining said, "We are Fa Xiao."

Xu Liang drew a long voice, "I also have a hair boy."

Lu Shining turned his head, Xu Liang said: "As for Zeng Yi in the class next door, we fought every day when we were young."

"Oh."

Xu Liang said "Hey", "Oh what, you two didn't fight when you were young? Didn't you run around with each other's pants?"

Lu Shining's complexion gradually became complicated, "Never."

Xu Liang touched his chin, "That's not right."

Lu Shining asked calmly, "What's wrong?"

"Pants." Xu Liang gestured, "Are you sure you don't want to take it?"

Lu Shining curled the corners of his mouth, showing a smirk with just the right curvature, "I'll talk to Yuan Sen when I have time, maybe I just forgot about it."

"Hey, don't!" Xu Liang hurriedly stopped, "I found that you are so weak."

Lu Shining blinked: "Thank you for the compliment."

Lu Shining no longer struggled with the difficult problem of "what to do when he likes his straight man when he was young", and his life was obviously much easier.

When he turned 17, Lu Shining realized that he would no longer wake up with throbbing pain in the middle of the night.

His growing pains seemed to be over prematurely.

Of course, the height also stops here.

Yuan Sen joked: "This way you can't find a girlfriend who likes to wear high heels, otherwise she might be as tall as you."

Lu Shining replied: "It doesn't matter if you are taller than me."

He resigned himself to his fate, and it is impossible to surpass Yuan Sen in this life. The enthusiasm for comparing him when he was a child has long since disappeared, and he will not be unwilling or depressed because of it.

The spring buds have just sprouted, and the season of recovery of all things.

Lu Shining suddenly heard that Yuan Sen was going to study abroad.

Lu's father and Lu's mother were discussing this matter at the dinner table, Lu Shining looked confused, "Is he not going to take the exam?"

Lu's mother said: "Didn't Yuan Sen tell you? I heard that his father arranged for him... Just ask him directly?"

Lu Shining didn't ask.

For many days after that, I didn't pay much attention to Yuansen.

At that time, Yuan Sen was busy with the formalities of qualifications, and at the same time he had to coax Lu Shining. He was overwhelmed for a while, and finally became anxious.

"Lu Shining, why are you losing your temper? I'm leaving and you're still losing your temper with me?!"

"When are you leaving?" Lu Shining answered, "I can ask for leave to see you off."

Yuan Sen calmed down, "You're going to piss me off."

It was rare for Lu Shining to say childishly, "I did it on purpose."

Yuan Sen took a deep breath, and said helplessly, "I'm leaving, Xiaolu, can't you have a good word with me?"

Lu Shining was finally willing to raise his head. At this moment, he realized that Yuan Sen was taller and more handsome than he remembered.Two people have been together for too long, so long that they can't notice the changes in each other.

He suddenly felt unwilling and depressed, because of Yuan Sen's growth, but also because of the sudden pain.

It turned out to still hurt.

"You don't take the college entrance examination anymore?" Lu Shining asked.

"Yeah." Yuan Sen avoided his eyes.

"Do you want to go abroad with Uncle Yuan?"

Yuan Sen lowered his eyes, with an indifferent expression, "How is it possible, I will go by myself."

Lu Shining said, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Let me tell you now, I was arranged by them to study abroad."

"If you don't want to say it, you don't have to say it."

Yuan Sen showed impatience on his face, but he didn't stop talking, "Didn't I say that? They decided, and I let them decide."

Lu Shining nodded, "Okay."

He knew that if Yang Qiongfang insisted, if Yuan Zhen persisted, Yuan Sen would not be able to enter the university in this atmosphere.Only by escaping and going to a place without these two people can Yuan Sen get out of the current predicament.

But it was one thing for him to know, and another to be awkward.

On the day I went to see Yuan Sen off, Yang Qiongfang was also there, and she shed a lot of tears, Yuan Sen just handed over a tissue in silence.

Lu Shining didn't say a word the whole time, Yuan Sen acted like an older brother this time, and said softly before leaving: "I know you're unhappy and I didn't tell you, brother apologizes to you."

"I do not……"

Yuan Sen raised his hand and rubbed his hair, "It's not like I won't come back."

Lu Shining insisted on finishing the sentence, "I'm not angry with you."

Yuan Sen nodded again and again.

Lu Shining said, "Really not, brother."

He knew very well why Yuan Sen left. There was nothing worth nostalgic about that home.The reconnection between Yang Qiongfang and Yuan Zhen completely crushed Yuan Sen, as if those pains were only left on him in the end, and he was the only one who remembered.When those two people stood on the same front, Yuan Sen's hatred became ridiculous.

Lu Shining was just sad.

His love alone is not enough, he cannot be the reason for Yuan Sen to stay.

When Lu Shining returned home, his parents hadn't come back yet.He took an afternoon off to send Yuan Sen off. Now that he put down his schoolbag, the weight was removed, and his strength was gone. Finally, he couldn't help squatting down and crying secretly.He still hid his crying and buried it between his knees, like a small animal crying when it was injured.

It still hurts.

Pain in the bones during adolescence is unavoidable. Doctors say it is not a disease, but a necessary stage in the growth process.

The author has something to say: I finally wrote the last sentence!The memory is over, tomorrow is a day off, the next chapter is "now"