Growth pain

Where should things start.

In Yuan Sen's memory, this home has never had peace.

Even when she was living in the village, Yang Qiongfang quarreled with Yuan Zhen all day long.

When Yuan Sen was six years old, Yang Qiongfang was determined to move into the county town, but she didn't think that this move would be convenient for Yuan Zhen.

When she first found out that Yuan Zhen was cheating, Yang Qiongfang thought it was a woman from the county, maybe a colleague.So I went to the place where Yuan Zhen worked and made a big fuss. All the women looked like vixen, and no woman was pleasing to the eye.

"Yuan Zhen! I gave birth to a son for you, guarding this house for you, and you are just a fucking beast outside? You are not even as good as a beast!"

She dug her nails into the man's arm, dug out a piece of flesh, and stuck it between the nails. She felt relieved and warned the coward, "Hurry up and break with her!"

After that, they fought again and again, just to vent their inner anger.Such an honest man will also steal food, no different from the old bastard in the village who is fooling around.

Later, it was found out that she was pregnant, and she calmed down the anger for a short time. Yuan Zhen became more honest, and behaved like a dog every day, going out to work in the morning and going home after get off work in the evening.

When she was three months pregnant, a visitor appeared at home, a good-looking young male student.

At first, Yang Qiongfang thought it was an apprentice in Yuan Zhen's unit, and greeted her with a smile in line with her master's duty.

The boy rubbed his hands uneasily at the door, looked at her and said, "Um... is Yuan Zhen here?"

"He's gone to work, aren't you his colleague?" Yang Qiongfang was also stunned.

"Well, no."

"Then why are you looking for him?"

The boy said shyly, "Borrow money."

Yang Qiongfang's face immediately turned ugly, "Borrowing money? I will take care of all his money. Where can I get money to lend to others?"

The boy raised his head blankly, "Excuse me, are you..."

"I'm his lover." Yang Qiongfang saw the boy pursed his lips and nodded hurriedly as he went downstairs.

When I mentioned this person to Yuan Zhen at night, Yuan Zhen's face changed.

Yang Qiongfang thought he was hiding private money, so she immediately asked, "Are you hiding something from me?"

Yuan Zhen lowered his head to drink the porridge, Yang Qiongfang slapped the table vigorously, Yuan Sen missed the bowl and spilled the steaming porridge all over his body.

Yang Qiongfang became even more angry, "Yuan Sen, you are also clumsy for eating!"

Yuan Sen was so burned that he immediately jumped away and wanted to take off his pants, and the family was in a panic for a while.

After changing into new clothes, his thighs were still sore, Yuan Sen sat by the edge of the table, looking at his silent parents.

"mom."

"Why did you call me?" Yang Qiongfang glanced over coldly.

Yuan Sen stopped talking.

He hurts.

The skin of a child is still very tender, and it will turn red when it is slightly scalded, let alone a bowl of hot porridge.

The next day, Yuansen was in so much pain that he couldn't walk. He took off his pants and found a blister on his thigh.

Yang Qiongfang was still distressed, and immediately said, "Let your father take you to the hospital."

Yuan Sen and his father were alone, and they didn't speak all the way. After the doctor applied the medicine to him at the hospital, Yuan Zhen asked softly, "Does it hurt?"

Yuan Sen said truthfully: "It hurts."

Yuan Zhen said, "Sorry."

Yuan Sen was slightly stunned, looking up at his father.

I don't know why this father apologized to his son.

He thought for a while and comforted, "Actually, it doesn't hurt that much."

Yuan Zhen pursed his mouth even tighter, and patted him on the back, "Good boy."

It was only later that Yuan Sen realized where those apologies came from.

##

Paper wrapped fire.

Yang Qiongfang still knew about Yuan Zhen and that male student.

Coincidentally, she came back earlier than usual to buy vegetables that day, and the two of them were chatting outside Tongzilou.

Where did Yuan Zhen have the guts to do such a thing under her nose? Yang Qiongfang thought about it and finally figured it out - Yuan Zhen was reluctant to leave the male student.

Compared with being discovered by her, Yuan Zhen was more afraid of the student leaving.

Yang Qiongfang lost her child and was in a daze on the hospital bed, already thinking about how to kill this disgusting thing that stabbed a man's ass.

But Yuan Sen suddenly opened the door and came in. The six-year-old boy was not as tall as the call light she was holding.

She clenched the pure white quilt covering her body, and suddenly howled and cried uncontrollably.

After a while the boy came to her bedside, "Mom."

Yang Qiongfang couldn't cry anymore, her throat was swollen and her voice was hoarse. She raised her head and said to her son word by word: "You don't have any younger siblings."

The child flattened his mouth, as if about to cry.

She raised her hand to caress the child's face and said, "Don't cry, blame your father if you want to."

This sentence later seemed to be a curse.

Yang Qiongfang instilled this thought in Yuan Sen all the time, as if she was born to live for it.

##

Yuan Zhen filed for divorce with Yang Qiongfang after the matter subsided, but Yang Qiongfang naturally disagreed.

"Of course you have half of the land in my hometown... I will give it to you when the time comes." Yuan Zhen said.

Yang Qiongfang: "Do you think I will believe your nonsense? Let me divorce you without guaranteeing anything, Yuan Zhen, are you dreaming?"

"An agreement can be made, and I will sign it."

Yang Qiongfang immediately sneered, "Don't tell me Yuan Zhen that you really like that man, do you love him?"

Yuan Zhen was silent.

Yang Qiongfang couldn't laugh anymore, she nodded and said to herself: "Oh, you love him, Yuan Zhen, you don't naturally like to fuck men's butts, do you? You disgusting thing...then what the hell am I?! Your son What is it? You fucking like men, so go do it! What? Are you still afraid of your half-buried father? Don’t be afraid, he will definitely die before you anyway! Why are you trying to harm me!"

Yuan Zhen was scratched by Yang Qiongfang and retreated several steps in a row, her face and arms were covered with red marks, and it took a long time before she said, "Sorry, I didn't think it would be..."

"You don't know what? You don't know how to fuck a man's ass, how can you stuff a few into a man's ass?!" Yang Qiongfang was almost crazy, "Don't tell me that you and him are true love, Yuan Zhen, you are a fucking beast, disgusting person You want me to divorce you and let me fulfill the two of you? Let me tell you, dream! If you don’t want your son to know that you are a disgusting homosexual, let me take care of you!"

Yang Qiongfang is not reconciled, how can she be reconciled, there is no love in the nine years of marriage.Whenever she thought about it, she would gag.But she is even more unwilling to let Yuan Zhen abandon herself and her son, and easily get the happiness she dreamed of.

Is this fair, is it reasonable?

not at all.

One year later, on an ordinary night, Yang Qiongfang put down her chopsticks at the dinner table and said, "I borrowed some money from my brother, let's move."

The two men at the table were stunned, one was seven-year-old Yuan Sen, and the other was 33-year-old Yuan Zhen.

If she can't get happiness, then neither can this disgusting homosexual.

##

When Yuan Sen was ten years old and Lu Shining was eight years old, a fair-looking boy came to the community. He was the son of Aunt Lu upstairs.

Yuansen remembered that night, there was noise from upstairs, Lu's father and Lu's mother got up one after another to look, and he also quietly put the quilt on his sleeping brother and ran out.

When he walked into the living room, the boy was being pushed downstairs, the corner of his mouth was broken, his hair was messed up, he tried his best to cover his face, and cried out in a crying voice: "Mom, mom, don't do this, please..."

It wasn't until Lu Shining called him from behind that he came back to his senses, the corridor was empty.

Then Yang Qiongfang dragged him home, closed the door, turned her head and said, "Yuan Sen, don't let me see him talking to you, I warn you, I will beat you every time I see you!"

"Why?" Yuan Sen was puzzled.

"Because he's sick!" Yang Qiongfang raised her voice, not addressing Yuan Sen, she turned her head and shouted, "It's really strange, what evil did I do in my previous life to encounter so many crazy people who like men!"

Yuan Sen was taken aback.

After Yang Qiongfang shouted, she looked at Yuansen again: "I heard no Yuansen, if you dare to say a word to him, I'll break your leg!"

Yuan Sen nodded immediately.

Loving a man is a disease.

Yang Qiongfang always said this to him, with a ferocious and terrifying expression, and he kept this firmly in his heart.

Until junior high school, on the way home with Lu Shining, he ran into the boy upstairs who failed to come out to his family again.

The rain fell very quickly that night, and the heavy rain washed the entire street, and it also washed Yuan Sen's world all over.

Before his parents had been arguing, he went to sleep at Lu Shining's house.Today I finally returned to my home, but the house was still noisy.

Yang Qiongfang said while washing the dishes: "That son of Lu Yujuan is back. Guess what? He was left behind by a man, so I said what will happen to those who like men in the end."

Yuan Zhen, who had been silent until now, said this time: "Don't talk about others like that..."

Yang Qiongfang immediately threw the bowl into the sink, walked quickly to the living room, stared and asked, "What did you say? Say it again!"

Yuan Zhen stopped talking.

They all forgot that their son had gone home.

No one paid attention to him.

Just as Yuan Sen opened the door halfway, he wanted the two of them to be quiet, so he listened to Yang Qiongfang's words: "Have you taken a fancy to him? It's not enough to just get one, do you want to find another one?"

Yuan Sen stopped, did not move the hand holding the doorknob, and then quietly closed the door.

In fact, it's not that she can't feel it. Yang Qiongfang hates Yuan Zhen too much.Even for a period of time after moving, I often pinched Yuan Sen's ears and looked at him carefully, "The eyes and ears are quite like your father's."

Then he added: "There should be a younger brother and sister."

There is relief and hatred in the words.She would go crazy if she had another child who looked like Yuan Zhen, but she would also go crazy if she didn't have this child.

He didn't sleep that night, and spent many days in chaos.

Yuan Sen's mind was so messed up in those days that he didn't respond to Lu Shining's mention of someone committing suicide by taking medicine.

Maybe it was his indifference that hurt the child, Lu Shining never mentioned his brother upstairs to him again.

until his death is confirmed.

Yuan Sen thought, his father will die one day too.

Because homosexuality is a disease.

During the summer vacation, Yuan Zhen and Yang Qiongfang were still arguing, and Yuan Sen suddenly felt very boring. Two people who did not love each other were tormenting each other, while he was ignored.So he slammed the door and went out without telling anyone where he was going.

When she came back in the evening, Yang Qiongfang looked for him with a pale face, and Yuan Sen was a little unsure whether she was loved or not.

He recognized even a little bit.

When I got home that day, Yang Qiongfang said, "Did you know everything?"

Yuan Sen was silent.

Yang Qiongfang hugged him suddenly, holding him so hard and tightly, as if entrusting half of her life to him, as if she suddenly loved him very much.

"He's a beast, he's a beast." The woman wept.

Yuan Sen patted his mother's shoulder lightly.

"You separate from him." Yuan Sen said.

Yang Qiongfang let go of him, showing an inconceivable expression, "Yuan Sen, do you know that even after leaving Qing County for so many years, he has been in contact with that man. Are you willing to treat us like this?"

Yuan Sen looked at her, "But now..."

"Did you know?!" Yang Qiongfang raised her voice, "I let go now, just to fulfill the things of those two disgusting people. You have also seen what a good end can be for homosexuality!"

"Since you know that he will not end well, why do you still..." Live in such pain.

Yuan Sen didn't understand.

Yang Qiongfang didn't need him to understand either.

Her betrayed look was enough to silence Yuan Sen.

Turns out no one really cared why he left the house, and he almost never came back.

The next day I went to him to find Lu Shining, but Lu Shining insisted on this matter, insisting on making him a promise, and even handed him the communication records of dozens of calls.

Yuan Sen lied to him and said that he went to the Internet cafe, but actually went out with those gang of cronies. They went to the train station and almost boarded a train that didn't know where it was going.

Lu Shining said, "Tell me wherever you go in the future."

Yuan Sen agreed, "Okay, I will take you with me next time."

He is not leaving.

No one expected him to stay, no one loved him.

But Lu Shining would.

He was going to stay for such a little love.

The author has something to say: what I want to say is put in the comments, but it is just my personal interpretation, not everyone's.I generally don't express any thoughts during the serialization stage, because everyone's reading and thinking must be different, and I think any interpretation is fine.Today is such a special time.