Yamaishi

It is already autumn when Li Fangqian and the group ended.At that time, Shen Zhuoqing had already joined the T hospital, and moved out of the compound with his parents.

When receiving Shen Zhuoqing's moving text message, Li Fangqian had just finished a new round of quarrel with Ruan Linlin.

——Ruan Linlin hasn't seen Li Fangqian for a long time. As soon as he came back, she coaxed and coaxed him to a small courtyard with a single building, and entered a room that was horribly white. Instrument with seat.

Ruan Linlin nodded to the man in the white coat, and said to Li Fangqian, this is Doctor Qin.

Li Fangqian didn't know what happened, but just greeted him instinctively.As soon as he finished speaking, Doctor Qin pushed him down on the seat.

There were all kinds of pictures of same-sex relationships in front of the chair, and Li Fangqian finally realized what this set of equipment was for—it was a click chair used to "treat" homosexuality in the early years. The "diagnostician" pressed the switch of the electric shock and stimulated the subjects with pain.

Li Fangqian's scalp felt numb all of a sudden, and he pushed away the person surnamed Qin, looking at Ruan Linlin with incredible eyes.

Ruan Linlin felt guilty after being stared at, so she could only murmur, "Doctor Qin is in charge of treating you."

"Treatment?" Li Fangqian laughed angrily. When he looked at his mother, the surprise, disappointment, anger, and confusion in his eyes were intertwined, wrapped in swords and swords, Han Han confronted her.I don't know how long it took, until the so-called "doctor" felt bored and left, Li Fangqian took a deep breath, trying to calm down his emotions.

"Li Fangqian, your dad is coming back from Shenzhen soon, you know..." Ruan Linlin coaxed, as if begging for mercy, "Let him see you like this, he will go crazy, when the time comes You feel more uncomfortable, you know?"

Li Fangqian's father has been doing business abroad for a long time, and the business field is very large, and he spends most of his time in Shenzhen or abroad.Ruan Linlin was originally a wealthy lady, but she gave up her studies and career for the sake of her family. She was both a strict father and a loving mother, watching Li Fangqian grow up step by step.

As she spoke, Ruan Linlin remembered that when Li Fangqian was a child, tears began to flow again.How did that happen?She has always been proud of her son, why did she become like this?

Li Fangqian couldn't see her crying the most. No matter how hard he felt, he could only let out a long sigh, and silently wiped his mother's tears with his sleeve.

"What are you talking about? The people who introduced you are gone." Ruan Linlin tightly clutched his sleeve, "Stop saying that you can't like women, try two if one doesn't work—"

"Mom, it's useless." Li Fangqian interrupted softly.

"Why is it useless? I don't believe it. You haven't seen each other for ten years, and you still can't get rid of this problem!" Ruan Linlin's voice became louder and louder, and her crying became more intense, "Do you think my mother is very cruel? Is your treatment harming you? I’m helping you, don’t you know? If you don’t get married, you will be gossiped by others. What mother would want to see her child unable to hold her head up for the rest of her life? It took me a lot of effort to invite Doctor Qin."

Speaking of her, she tugged on Li Fangqian's sleeve with her fingers, and her tone softened a little, "When I was young, a man got this kind of dirty disease and died by jumping into a well. After that, no one went to that place again. Do you think Did it become like that? Huh?"

Li Fangqian didn't answer, just asked: "Have you seen his medical license?"

"I've seen it." Ruan Linlin said firmly.

Li Fangqian was choked for a moment, and he scolded this "hospital" of unknown origin in his heart, and wanted to ask exactly where Ruan Linlin came from.But when the words came to his lips, he couldn't help but realize that even Ruan Linlin had to "work hard" to get a ward and a doctor, which shows that the supply here is in short supply.Li Fangqian was suddenly very tired, pressed his temple, "Mom, let us go, okay?"

"Let it go? You?" Ruan Linlin's nerves were pierced by the word "you", and she immediately connected "Li Fangqian doesn't want to talk about a girlfriend" with "Li Fangqian can't let go of that man", which naturally reminded Shen Zhuoqing of Xuanran at that time. With a weeping face, he couldn't help spitting.

"Did that **** come to pester you again!" Ruan Linlin grabbed Li Fangqian by the collar and asked, "He came to N City?"

Distance is a pain that Li Fangqian cannot mention.If he could suppress the fire just now, the grievance and anger that had been hidden all along came out slowly when he heard this question.

Uncharacteristically, Li Fangqian pulled Ruan Linlin's hand away forcefully, and said word by word: "Thanks to you, he is not here."

"Are you blaming mom?" Ruan Linlin was pushed back a few steps, her hands were flushed from the friction just now, her back hit the table, and the medicine jar fell over with a tinkle.

She looked at Li Fangqian incredulously, "Did you fight mom for that ****?" As she spoke, she randomly picked up a few medicine bottles behind her and threw them at Li Fangqian one by one, still muttering, "You Look at these! A lot of people can be cured by eating them, why are you willing to degenerate?"

These words made Li Fangqian's heart twitch with pain.In fact, his starting point, Ruan Linlin, was just a grievance. Why did he study hard for more than 20 years, and when he came to her, because of a love, he "willed to degenerate" and couldn't hold his head up for the rest of his life?

It was like this every time, when something happened to Shen Zhuoqing, they couldn't calm down.At first Li Fangqian will try to communicate, but in the end it will definitely turn into a farce.

So be it, Li Fangqian thought.He was too lazy to think about it, he was so tired of arguing with his relatives, he didn't even want to persuade him now.

Li Fangqian sneered and bent down to pick up the medicine bottle.Without even reading the instruction manual, he poured out a handful of Baiyao pills.

As if masochistic, in front of Ruan Linlin, she swallowed one by one.The medicine was chewed into powder and sticking to his tongue was very bitter. Li Fangqian didn't even frown, but just gritted his teeth tightly, stimulating the periodontal nerve, and his eyes were like pools of stagnant water.

"Satisfied?" he asked.Didn't expect to hear an answer, turned around and left the room before tears left.

He didn't go home, but went directly to the faculty dormitory.The medicine for treating mental illness that he had just taken had returned to strength at this time, and he hadn't eaten lunch, which made his stomach tumbling continuously.

Li Fangqian felt sick and wanted to vomit physiologically.He cut off Ruan Linlin's many phone calls.

Throwing the phone aside, Li Fangqian fell to his knees, holding the trash can and began to retch.Tears were forced out by the vomiting, but Li Fangqian couldn't cry, and sneered at the bright and black screen of the phone in a daze.

Suddenly, he remembered that he hadn't replied to Shen Zhuo's text message.He propped himself on the ground with one hand and struggled to type with the other.The keys of the mobile phone are soft, but they feel tactile when pressed, and there is a beeping sound.Li Fangqian listened, and felt that his stomach seemed to have calmed down a lot.

After answering, I saw that the top one was just sent by Sun Qianming: [Brother Li, I have applied for Qingjiao!This time I really have to be a colleague!Where do you put it, do you want some wine? ]

Although his stomach was still churning, Li Fangqian knew that he should take it easy and eat something first.But he was really depressed, and he didn't dare to tell Shen Zhuoqing, he thought it would be better to go out with Sun Qianming to relax, so he agreed.

Li Fangqian took several sips of boiled water, tried his best to make himself look normal, and then left.

The Academy of Earth Sciences and the Academy of Liberal Arts moved to the new campus half a year ago.

The two made an appointment to meet in the new library, but the Faculty of Arts was farther away from the new library, so Li Fangqian sat on the big steps and waited for Sun Qianming, and called Shen Zhuoqing back by the way.

The beeping sound in the mobile phone was disturbing, Li Fangqian fiddled with the leaves on the ground, his mind was full of Ruan Linlin's hysterical look.

What should I do, continue to take medicine, continue to procrastinate?

Li Fangqian exerted all his strength, and the leaves were swept everywhere.

"what are you doing?"

A human voice suddenly came out of the receiver, and Li Fangqian immediately regained his spirits.Those annoying things just now immediately became a smile on the lips, whether it was worry or anxiety, they all went to the sky.

"Nothing, I'll wait for you to answer the phone." Li Fangqian said with a smile.

Maybe it was because of the smile in the words, the person on the phone also smiled happily, but asked mysteriously: "I have good news, do you want to guess?"

"Try to guess."

"Then you guess!"

"Later. Listen to your voice first."

"Huh?" Shen Zhuoqing obviously did not expect this answer, although his mouth was full of reproaches, his internal organs seemed to have been soaked in sugar water, "You!"

"Want to scold me for being glib?" Li Fangqian smiled, "Swear more, I love to hear it."

"Okay!" Shen Zhuoqing raised the volume, cleared his throat again, and said solemnly, "I won't let you guess, you go out and look up."

Li Fangqian didn't say that he was blowing the wind outside, but just took two steps to the side, pretending to be the sound of the door, and raised his head obediently, and instantly understood Shen Zhuoqing's meaning.

——There is a full moon above the head, the sky is cloudless, and the moonlight suddenly opens, and the silver light is thousands of miles away.

Li Fangqian stretched out his hand and opened it to the north.He knew that at this moment, Shen Zhuoqing must be doing the same thing.

"It's up to you." Li Fangqian said, although the moment was very sweet, but his heart couldn't help but feel sour—why do you have to go thousands of miles away to do these foolish things?

He wanted to hug him, kiss him, and go across thousands of mountains and rivers to find him.But Ruan Linlin is so sensitive, and there are no projects in the laboratory that can travel far.As long as he made a slight movement, Shen Zhuoqing would suffer some pain for no reason.

Whether it's medicine or insults, it's enough for me to bear those sufferings.

Thinking of this, Li Fangqian's tone lowered, but he was not willing to let his lover notice these messy thoughts, and only told him that everything in N City was fine, and let Shen Zhuoqing take care of himself.

"Got it!" Shen Zhuoqing was still in high spirits, "I have another news, this time I won't let you guess."

Li Fangqian gave a "hmm", wondering what news could make this guy so happy, so he quietly waited for him to finish speaking.

"Li Fangqian, I'm going to find you!"

The original upset was swept away by this news, so Ruan Linlin couldn't be bothered.Li Fangqian felt that his stomach had calmed down a lot, and he could even drink a box of Bai Bai now without getting drunk.

He was so overjoyed that he hung up the phone, and seeing Sun Qianming coming with a few cans of wine, Li Fangqian was still talking nonsense but smiling.

Seeing him like this, Sun Qianming didn't bother to pay attention.Just quietly listening to Li Fangqian's rambling ecstasy, confession and memories.

This person who has traveled all over the famous mountains and rivers really has no less thoughts in his heart than the one in the north.However, on many nights when he couldn't restrain his heartache, he turned over and ran into the wind, filling himself with data or running wildly.

But he only dared to give Shen Zhuo a clear three-pointer of this great yearning.

Because even if the three points are unsatisfactory, they will be magnified into thirty points in each other's eyes, and then they will double torture themselves.

I'm so sorry for Shen Zhuoqing, he always thought so.

"If it hadn't been for my mother's troubles back then, Zhuoqing should at least go to a higher place on the platform?" Li Fangqian took the wine, and took a few sips on the steps.

"You are really worrying too much." Sun Qianming also picked up a bottle of wine, and touched Li Fangqian, "What kind of person is Zhuoqing, you know better than me. When did he let others make decisions for him?"

In fact, Sun Qianming's words didn't catch his ears very much. Li Fangqian was distracted, feeling the fragrance of sweet-scented osmanthus blowing towards his face, and only thought about what he would take Shen Zhuoqing to do when he came.

There are also osmanthus trees in City B, but the scent is not as clear as this one. Mr. Shen Zhuoqing said he wanted to eat the osmanthus honey from Gulou, the sweetness over there is not so greasy.It's a pity that the new campus is too far away from the Drum Tower, but when Shen Zhuoqing comes, no matter how far away, I will take him to have a taste.

"Do you think he has been chasing your footsteps for so many years? Maybe this is one of the reasons, but more is to weigh many things. Going to the United States is the same as going to B University, because these two choices were at the time. It's the best."

Sun Ganming noticed Li Fangqian's distraction, but he didn't say anything. He wanted to express his desire for a while, and kept talking: "I think, he chose to go to T College because he considered family pressure more? After all, those colleges, The treatment is much better than that of public universities like ours, so you don’t have to worry too much.”

"Every choice Zhuoqing makes is independent and sober, so you don't have to blame yourself for the so-called 'choosing the wrong path'."

At this sentence, Li Fangqian finally recovered from the dim sum shop in Xinjiekou. He didn't hear what Sun Ganming said last, and looked at him blankly.

"I said, I believe you are now exchanging your hearts for your hearts." Sun Ganming repeated it again, with goose bumps all over his body, thinking that such nasty words were not what he should say:

"Zhuoqing is definitely willing to take out a heart, but you have to know that the soul is outside the heart."

This remark was confusing, but Li Fangqian understood it.In other words, the entire N University who can understand this soul is sitting on the steps at this moment with their own thoughts.

And in the family building of the T hospital, which was separated by five provinces and a river, Shen Zhuoqing also tossed and turned in front of the list of freshmen.

The author says:

*These chapters are rather twisted, I apologize to the little cutie who was abused

*Title from "Dreams That Can't Come True," an excerpt from the musical "I, Don Quixote."A song I like very much, teacher Cheng He's translation is also very good.

*The lyrics are attached to share with you.

If I can / for this glorious mission / exhaust my life to pursue

Many years later / until the time of long sleep / my heart will be at peace

May this world be different from the past

Even though I/will eventually be exhausted

Still want/with scarred hands

to pluck/unreachable star