I will die the day I want to die

In June, the sky is cloudy and cloudy, and the draft in the house is full of a faint fragrance of green leaves.

Xie Ji went to the company early in the morning. Before leaving, he secretly kissed me by the bed, and left me a small note on the bedside table. I knew it, but I didn’t respond to him. I didn’t know until I heard the door close. He opened his eyes and took the little note to read.

"Baby, I'm a little busy today. I'll let my aunt come over to accompany you. Remember to eat obediently. If you miss me, call me. I'll be back early. I'll bring you a gift when I go back. Kiss 3

Xieji

Open the drawer and throw the note in.

I went downstairs in my slippers, and he put all the dental kits in the bathroom for me, and even squeezed the toothpaste for me. I picked up the dental kits expressionlessly and looked at myself brushing my teeth in the mirror.

This is the seventh month of my illness, and the seventh month I've actually been with him.

There is also breakfast and milk prepared by him on the dining table, which are placed in an insulated box, and they are still hot when I sit down.

The shoes at the entrance were a bit messy, and one of them was even turned over. I walked over with the milk and put the shoes in order, opened the door again, and drank milk by the door.

He is always afraid that I am not nutritious or healthy enough, so he is careful every day, like walking on eggshells.

The large area of ​​small chamomiles in front of the yard bloomed extraordinarily brilliantly, with the breeze blowing, one by one poking their petals into the yard. They were the flower seeds that he held my hand and sowed in the early spring of March.

He hugged me at that time and said with a smile: "When Xie Ji comes back, just tell him that you planted his favorite flower, and he will be happy."

I glared at him, and retorted: "Xie Ji doesn't like Xiao Yangju, he loves irises the same as his sister."

He was stunned, looked at me for a long time, then buried his head in my arms, and said as if crying: "You, he likes you, he likes everything you grow, can't you?"

After washing the milk cup and putting it back on the shelf, the nanny also bought vegetables and came back. When I came in, I was surprised and said: "Oh! Is Mr. Yun hungry? I'll warm it up for you, Mr. Xie made it Breakfast!" She was about to go to the dining table to get it, but I pulled her sleeves with a smile, "Auntie, I've already eaten."

She paused, and looked at me nervously, "Did you eat something cold?"

I shook my head, "It's in the box, it's hot, he hasn't been to the company for long."

"Oh, okay, then, Mr. Yun, let's go to rest first, I'm going to make lunch after tidying up the house."

I nodded and went straight upstairs. I originally wanted to pass the time by looking through a few novels in the bedroom, but I found nothing. It must have been Xie Ji who packed up the things for me the day before yesterday and took them away.

I had no choice but to try my luck at the door of his study.

He would not take me to the study when he was at home, because he was afraid that he would not be able to take care of me when he was working, so he usually stayed with me outside the house.Locking it when I'm not at home is not to guard against me. He usually takes my important documents home to read in order to take care of me. It's always safer to lock it.

I reached out to grab the doorknob, twisted it lightly, and the door opened.

I pressed the light switch and illuminated the whole study room. It was similar to the situation I saw a few days ago. There were books and documents everywhere. It was a little neater a few days ago, maybe it was because I was with me?Today looks like it was smashed by popularity.

I picked up a few books that had fallen on the floor, and picked up his coat that was draped over the back of the chair and hung it on a hook on the side wall.

There were so many and thick piles of documents on the desk, I wasn’t interested, I sorted them out casually and then sat down on his office chair—sometimes he would ask me to come in and organize the documents for him when he was too busy , I don’t like to talk to him, and I also put documents at random, but he is very happy every time, he gives me the seat, squats aside and puts half of his body on my lap.

Under the file was a brown leather book, open, with something written on one side and a cloud drawn on the other.

I took the book in my hand, feeling a little dazed—this is his diary, written like a primary school student.

I glanced outside the door, leaned over slightly, and turned the book to the first page.

-

April 11

I drove him out of the house and he found a new house within a day. I really don’t know who is not good at renting the house to him, and he is not afraid of bad luck.

I sneaked out of his new house and took a look twice. It wasn't very good, and I kind of wanted him to go home.

Really, why does he make me angry again, what a nasty person.

April 11

I ran into Yun Zhu downstairs in the company today, and he asked me if I saw Yun Shu. I haven't looked for that guy for several days, how would I know, and asked Xiao Liu, Xiao Liu said that Assistant Yun was hospitalized, or because of a fall.

How could there be such a person?He can go to the hospital even if he wrestles, he really is an idiot.

In the afternoon, I secretly went to the hospital to see him. The nurse was putting water on him. He was sleeping, and he seemed to be sleeping very restlessly. I asked the doctor, who said it was a mild concussion, and he needed to be observed for two days.

He was bullied by me before so badly, although I haven't bullied him for a long time, I'm still a little worried...

Really, he is really annoying.

How can you fall while walking? !

April 11

In the afternoon, I wanted to go to my friend for dinner, but when I passed by his house, the driver still let me down.

I waited for him for two hours to see him. I was very angry, but also very happy. Who knew that he would look terrified when he saw me...

He pissed me off!

You still dare to perfunctory me, forget about buying dishes that are not my favorite, and ask other men to eat them!

...But I really didn't know that he liked hot pot. Listening to that junior chatting with him, he seemed to like hot pot very much.

Take him to eat more in the future.

April 12

He was fired, and he hooked up with that Li from the finance department all day long, and it was in front of my eyes, which really gave him face.

Finally, I wanted to tell him to go home, but he dared to go out to find someone, call a fart, don't come back, annoying guy.

April 12

Damn, he called his subordinates by his name during the meeting.

April 12

Sneaked to see him.

April 12

The meeting in the afternoon was annoying, and I missed him again.

April 12

I went to see Mingming after get off work today. It was a bit late when I went, and there was already a bunch of fresh irises there.

He and I are usually the only people who come here, but he doesn't like Mingming very much. I gently put the bouquet of flowers next to the bunch of flowers, and slowly squatted down.

I don't really know what to say to my sister. Rather than coming to see her, I want to apologize to her.

That being said, I still like him.

He likes me so much, he can't wait for me to like him.

Later, I also found that there was a photo under the flower, which was left to him by my sister-he was smiling happily in that photo, and I remembered that it was him smiling at me.

I put the photo in my wallet, not because I like him.

Just miss him.

April 12

... He actually went to a small county town to teach.

I don't know what to think, it caused me to go to his house for nothing today, and the mobile phone can't get through, it's really troublesome, I can only use the credit card he once put on me to spend.

I see if he has the money to repay the loan, and if he will come back.

April 12

Is he really stupid?

Why do you fall down the stairs?

April 12

He waited all night before he came out of the operating room. Fortunately, the doctor said that the problem is not serious and he can just rest up.

I stayed with him for a day, and he fell asleep all the time. Why did I think he seemed to be getting thinner and thinner?

I'm taking him home.

April 12

I went to his school today to get things done, and I hurried over when I heard that he woke up.

When I entered the ward, I saw him staring at the drip bottle in a daze, and when I approached him, he looked on guard again. I was a little unhappy, but because he was a patient, I didn't bother to argue with him.

On the contrary, he relentlessly made me angry, and I'll forget about it. How could he be such an annoying person?

Later he lost his temper with me, which was really big and cute.

It turned out that he would lose his temper when he was hungry.

April 12

He ran again, alas.

April 12

I came after him again and had a hot pot meal with him.

I understand what he said in the car, but I don't really want to say this, I know I'm wrong, but I don't want to bow to him, it's too stupid... I just like him.

I don't know how to deal with what I did before...

If he let me die, I would probably be willing, I really feel sorry for him.

In the afternoon, I went to Jintan Temple with him, and I was a little happy to see his proud face when he entered. I heard from him that a fortune teller once told him that he could live to be 80 years old.

very nice.Everything I've said before is bullshit, he's sure to live to be 80.

He talks a lot of nonsense, he will send me everything he sees, he is quite cute, I like to watch him talk nonsense.

He also sent me a selfie, and he was not happy that I didn’t reply him, calling me a bastard, really, does it matter if I save all the pictures and reply back?

And I am bastard and you are bastard's wife.

ps: I suddenly remembered that the jade pendant he gave me can still shine at night, the quality is poor, and it costs 20 yuan at most.

April 12

He's sick and I'm so scared.

He kept crying while holding him, and I wanted to cry too, I was so afraid that he would forget me.

April 12

…He took medicine today and complained of a headache, I really want to cry.

I didn’t go to the company in the afternoon, and stayed with him at home. He called my name in a daze, and asked who I was. I called Yunzhu, and he comforted me by saying that he could forget all the people in the world, and he would never forget. your.

That's it.

April 12

Christmas.

I bought him a Christmas present and wanted to give him a surprise. When I got home, he asked me why Xie Ji hadn't come home yet.

It hurts.

April 12

Bought him a nice diary and wanted him to remember me.

He doesn't remember me at all.

April 6

He didn't remember me for 46 days.

I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him Miss him and miss him.

……

He said that his heart ached, day and night, repeatedly, and the pain felt like being cut by a knife, stabbed by a sword, or pricked by a needle.

I closed the diary, and couldn't bear to look at the next few days. My heart ached like someone had scratched my heart with a stone. It hurt so badly.

I think, it turns out that he loves me so much.

He loves me so much too.