I will die the day I want to die

Xie Ji asked me when he came home at night, do you still remember the fruit candy you used to eat when I was chasing you?

I huffed and pulled out a book from the drawer and showed it to him. It was full of candy wrappers I kept in my folder, colorful and glowing.

He looked at the candy wrappers, and suddenly reached out and touched my head. Before I had time to think about what he was going to do, I was suddenly hugged into his arms.

I have some doubts, what happened to the candy paper?

He hugged me, rubbed his chin against my hair, and whispered: "It's okay to be sick." Seeing that I was not moving, he lowered his head slightly and rubbed the corner of my mouth, softly said: "Shu Shu, it's okay to be sick."

There is a very subtle feeling pouring into my heart from my ears, I am a little confused about what it is like, it seems that no one has ever said such a thing to me, and I never thought that Xie Ji would say such a thing.

It's okay to be sick.Xie Ji told me that it's okay to be sick.

My nose was so sore that it was about to sprout, and my hands and feet were trembling like I couldn't control it. Really, really, I opened my mouth to say something, but cried out, like a broken embankment, surging out.

Why... just, it hurts so much.

Xie Ji hugged me and kept kissing the corners of my eyes, messing up my tears. I couldn't hear what his voice was like, I felt so dull, I could only hear him keep saying, "It's okay, I love you, I love you."

One day later, Xie Ji talked about today, he said, you cried so much that I felt like the sky was falling, Shu Shu, you scared me.

When my brother came to see me at Xie Ji's house, I was lying on the sofa, crying so hard, my face was swollen like a steamed bun, Xie Ji went to open the door for my brother while laughing.

I glared at him, but my eyes were so narrowed that he almost covered his stomach with laughter, he was so annoying!It made my brother laugh at me the first time he entered the door!How can there be such an annoying person!

He cooked the supper. The white rice balls filled with rice wine filled with mellow aroma after one bite. I glanced at him happily, and suddenly felt a little embarrassed when I saw him looking at me.

His love came so directly that I was a little at a loss. There is a high probability, I guess, he should have liked me for a while, but he knew that after I was sick, there was still sympathy mixed in, but he certainly didn’t love me for long. When I go crazy, he can change partners. I don't worry about that. As for me, I will naturally be happy day by day.

Seeing me stunned, he lightly touched the rim of my bowl with a porcelain spoon, and seeing me come back to look at him, he smiled and said, "Drunk?"

I smacked my lips and took another mouthful. My mouth was stuffed and I said, "How can you be drunk with this little lees, and you, what are you watching me do? Eat your own."

My brother clicked his tongue twice, sounding disgusted.

"Brother, you told him, right?" I said.

My brother immediately stared at me, "How dare you say that? If you don't tell him that he will hit you next time, you will continue to hit your head on the ground?"

"..." I froze for a moment, subconsciously went to look at Xie Ji, I didn't know my brother was so disrespectful.

Fortunately, Xie Ji was just stunned for a moment, instead of changing his face, he glanced at me and said calmly, "It's my fault."

My brother snorted coldly, "Of course you're wrong. Anyway, I can't care about my idiot brother, and I don't care about it. It's his business if he loves you, and it's his business if he dies. I just... feel sorry for me." It's just money."

Xie Ji looked at him, and suddenly said: "I won't die."

I took a sip of the soup made with glutinous rice balls, "I will become demented."

Xie Ji was silent, his face was very tense, his eyes were slightly lowered, as if he was standing on an unknown road and was at a loss and wanted to peel off the thorns.

I stopped talking to him, and talked to my brother about Mr. Song, my brother said: "He later told me that he was with others because he was obsessed with ghosts and couldn't stop himself..."

I clicked my tongue, "How many times have you been obsessed with ghosts in that year?"

My brother raised his leg and kicked me, "Shut your crow's mouth, let me tell you, you are such a cheap person!"

I couldn't help laughing, the pain in my head was a little less, and I felt like I was dreaming.

A year ago, how dare I have dinner at the same table with my brother and Xie Ji, Xie Ji said he loves me, my brother said he loves me.

Xie Ji suddenly reached out to touch my forehead, his complexion was still not very good, so he leaned over and kissed me.Maybe it's because I haven't drank alcohol for many years. I was a little drunk after drinking this fermented rice, my whole face was burning red, from the base of my ears all the way to my neck.

I looked at the two people I love the most in my life through the warm light in a daze, and sighed softly.

I still don't really want to die.

"Shu Shu."

I heard Xie Ji calling me, and turned my head to look at him, as if he brought me a glass of water.

I took it over and said thank you. He pinched my nose and said with a smile, "Dementia is also my Shushu, okay?"