I will die the day I want to die

Recently, I have been confused for a while, and I can't remember where I am.

Zhou Wanxing invited me out to eat hot pot on the second day after I came back. I took three banknotes out of Xie Ji’s drawer, followed Zhou Wanxing to have a big meal, and ended up with 300 yuan in my pocket Let Zhou Wanxing take me to Yunzhu's house.

Really, he told me that I was a treat, but he paid the bill early without my back.

He seldom spoke along the way, only I said something about the school, and he didn't show any expression after listening to it. He didn't turn his head to look at me until I called him.

I only dared to look at him once.

Why does he have no sound when he cries?

I didn't dare to ask, I didn't dare to read, and I didn't dare to speak again.When I arrived at Yunzhu's house, I opened the car door and was about to get out of the car. He suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm, choked up and said, "...Are you still going?"

His appearance is really cute and awkward, I turned my head and stared at his face for a long time, my heart murmured, how could such a cute guy treat me well.

"Don't go." I stretched out my other hand and wiped his face gently, causing him to withdraw his hand in embarrassment, and softly defended: "The hot pot was too choking just now..."

"Yeah." I replied, all kinds of guilt welled up in my heart, Zhou Wanxing is such a good person, he insisted on doing it for me, but I couldn't repay him, I couldn't do anything except be his brain-dead senior.

After a while, he cleared his throat and asked, "Are you coming to the hospital tomorrow?" There was some tentativeness and caution in that tone, and his eyes looked bright and energetic in the winter sun.

I nodded in a strange way, showing a smile, stretched out my arms to hug him, and sighed softly: "... In the next life, I will love you, okay?"

He froze in my arms for half a second. If I hadn't hugged him too tightly, I wouldn't even be able to detect him. He is so good, even at this moment, I am afraid that I will feel guilty for him.

He didn't speak for a long time, leaned his head slightly on my shoulder, rubbed my face, and suddenly smiled, "Xie Ji, is this your life?"

"Probably." I don't know how to describe Xie Ji's existence to me, whether it is the bright sun that caresses the world, or a fire that ravages the mountains and forests, but I know that if he is the sun, I will be the seven flowers beside me. The scattered and rambunctious clouds, if he is a big fire, I will be the log that catches the fire.

"In the next life, will you give it to me?" Zhou Wanxing looked at me with red eyes, her usually warm and cheerful face was now mostly aggrieved, and even her lips trembled slightly.

I looked at his red eyes, and kissed him very lightly, then let go of my embrace, and said with a smile: "Yes."

I think I won't see my elementary school brother in the hospital tomorrow, he is such a nice person.

Noon, my brother and... a man who can be called 'brother' with a high probability?We had lunch together, my brother likes cold sliced ​​beef, Song Jinglin made him a big plate at noon, I sat by and watched them get tired, couldn't resist eating half of the beef.

Sure enough, the two of them got bored, and the first thing my brother did was to beat me up. Hey, how can there be such a brother? Is it important for beef to have a younger brother?

Yunzhu gritted his teeth and took the beef away. Song Jinglin thought it was funny seeing his back, and turned around to greet me, "Don't argue with your brother, he is too naive."

I nodded. Of course I wouldn't argue with my brother. Apart from Xie Ji, I know my brother best. Even if he says he wants to eat at night, I can guess what he wants to eat.

But I probably won't remember it later.

After my brother came back, he was cursing, and Song Jinglin kept feeding him food. I was quite relieved. I still remember how my brother was trapped in love half a year ago. Unexpectedly, he really subdued the playboy.After my brother finished cursing, I thought it was an opportunity, so I said, "Then what, I'm looking forward to the cemetery."

My brother hadn't swallowed a mouthful of food yet, he was choked by my words, this time he didn't curse, he just looked at me, frowned and asked, "Are you going to die?"

"Anyway, I won't live long." I raised my head and looked at him. Anyway, I came to spoil his mood today.

After hearing this, he threw the chopsticks aside, and said in a high voice: "Fart! You are a doctor? If you can stand you, isn't it just dementia? Isn't the old man next door still alive after more than 20 years?!"

I think he's right, but, but.

I felt a sore nose, sucked my nose, choked up and said: "Brother, I don't want to become an idiot, I don't even know you... I will, I will, I might as well die." I really can't describe the symptoms of this disease. So young, I'm not even 30 years old.

He froze for a moment, looked at me, and suddenly leaned back, looking at a loss.

我也不知道该怎么说后面的话，只是静静的看着我哥的样子，我想，我要好好记住我哥，他叫云竹，虽然总是揍我，可他爱我，他比Everyone in this world loves me.

"Tell me, why doesn't your mother give you anything good?" He suddenly laughed, his lips trembling slightly, "Father doesn't love mother or mother, and you still have this disease, you...you..." He Gritting my teeth and trying to swallow the rest of the words, I still heard them.

"Why is no one hurting you..." His ending sound was full of tears, and it sounded like he was very distressed.

I looked at him, then looked at Song Jinglin who was frowning beside me, and said softly: "Brother, I have someone who hurts me. My friends treat me very well, and my family treats me very well. When I become stupid in the future, even I can’t even say anything, just let me die, okay?”

My brother didn't speak when he heard the words. He stared at me with red eyes. I knew he had a bad temper and wanted to scold me at this moment, but this was my last wish, so I didn't give him a chance to spoil the atmosphere.

"Also, my brother has to find me my favorite place as a cemetery. I don't want to be a ghost with a group of ghosts I don't know."

As soon as I finished speaking, my brother scolded viciously: "Don't you fucking like Xie Ji? I took Xie Ji's house as your cemetery, and buried him by the way, do you take it as Mr. Yun? "

I curled my lips, and thought to myself that even if I think so, you can't do this. If he is buried with me, won't he still be entangled with him in the next life?Where can I find my primary school brother?

"Oh, brother, don't be angry." I lowered my eyes aggrieved, and whispered: "I still want that."

My brother glared at me, "Which one?"

"Just the limited-edition snow mountain cup in your office, burn it to me."

Hey, can you be a good brother these days?

My brother's temper, isn't it just to ask him to organize a funeral for me?Can't make a request yet!

...But, I still, love it, my bro!

I love it.