Peek into the Heart [Unlimited]

On the day I was born, my home house accidentally caught fire due to aging electrical circuits.Fortunately, everyone gathered in the delivery room, and there were no casualties. However, due to the delay in extinguishing the fire, the whole house was burnt down.

I was pretty happy until I was ten years old.As the only child in the family, enjoying the love and affection bestowed on me by two generations, it even made me a little bit arrogant at one point.

I will always remember that Spring Festival.When I was 29 years old, the adults in my family were busy preparing the New Year’s Eve dinner, and I was alone on the balcony playing ball.At that time, the balconies were all open, and I pushed hard, and the ball went over the balcony and fell downstairs.I stood on my tiptoes and looked down, only to find that the ball had landed on the clothes drying table from a household downstairs.

I cried and ran to my dad and told him I lost the ball.Hearing this, he immediately dropped what he was doing and went downstairs with me to knock on the door.Unfortunately, the person downstairs was not at home that day, and did not open the door after knocking for a long time.My dad squatted down to help me wipe away my tears, and discussed with me whether it would be okay to go fetch the ball tomorrow.I was already dissatisfied that the adults were busy and no one was playing with me, and now even the ball was gone, so I insisted on asking him to get the ball back immediately.

For all my unreasonable demands, my dad basically tried his best to satisfy them.So, he and I went back to the balcony. After looking at the distance, he leaned over and stretched his arms to help me reach the ball.

My dad bent down to reach the ball, and I cheered him on from the sidelines.Listening to my excited shouts, my dad's hand stretched out longer and longer, and most of his body protruded out of the balcony. Finally, his fingertips touched the ball smoothly.

"Son, wait, Dad will help you get the ball up." After saying this, my dad stood on tiptoe, passed the balcony with his waist, and finally grabbed the ball firmly.

I jumped up and down happily, shouting "Dad is amazing", and the next second, I saw my dad turn over the balcony, and there was a heavy muffled sound in my ear.

I turned my head a little stupidly, and saw that there was suddenly one less person beside me.In the end, I climbed on the edge of the balcony with both hands, tiptoed little by little, and looked down to see a scene that I would never want to recall in my life.

The ball was carried by my dad's falling body, and it landed danglingly, bounced twice on my dad's body, and rolled into the distance.

The height of the fifth floor prevented my dad from dying immediately, and spent the Spring Festival in the ICU.

On the second day of the Lunar New Year, my dad was pushed out of the ICU. I surrounded him excitedly and wiped all my tears and snot on his bed sheet.My dad opened his eyes with force, and every word was accompanied by the sound of howling wind, intermittently unable to form a sentence.

He said it wasn't my fault and told me not to blame myself.He said he loves me very much.He said he wished me a happy Chinese New Year.

That night, my dad passed away.For many years since then, the Spring Festival celebrated by other people's families has become the most depressing period in our family.

And like my dad, my mom and grandparents didn't blame me, instead they kept comforting and encouraging me.Looking at their red eyes from crying, I was finally forced to grow up.

I may not be able to accept my dad's death for the rest of my life, but life must go on.I began to get tired of those extracurricular activities, and put all my body and mind on my studies, and I was successfully admitted to the best local junior high school and high school.I didn't perform well in the college entrance examination, but I got into a pretty good one and read a major I was interested in.

I met Professor Lin in my sophomore year.At that time, my eyes were always watering against the light, and I went to the doctor to find out what was wrong.When I saw him for the first time, I was walking back to the dormitory from the cafeteria, wiping my tears while walking, Professor Lin came up with concern and asked me if something happened to me, I shook my head and told him I little problem.

Professor Lin pulled me to a corner and looked into my eyes carefully.I thought to myself that our school doesn't seem to have a medical school, but I obediently let him observe it for a while.Finally, Professor Lin wrote an address on the sticky note and handed it to me, asking me to visit him in his office at night.

In the office, Professor Lin told me his guess.Looking at his serious face, I always feel that he is an old urchin who loves to joke, or that the mental patients he talks about are actually referring to himself.

It may be that my studies are too leisurely, or my curiosity is too strong. Although I don't believe him, I still went to his office again according to the agreement with him.

This time, there was one more person in the office.She looks very calm, but I can feel that there must be some problem with her spirit.Professor Lin brought me in front of her, then took my hand and asked me to watch her seriously.

Since then, the door of a new world has opened before my eyes.

I began to accept that I was different, and I began to indulge in this new adventure.With the company of Professor Lin, I always feel at ease. No matter what kind of difficulties and obstacles I encounter, he can always give answers calmly and calmly.This reminded me suddenly of my dad. When I was a child, I held his hand and was not afraid of anything, because I knew he would always stand in front of me.

Since then, I would go to see Professor Lin every day after class, and for a while I even delayed my studies, and was banned from entering by him for several months.Every time family members came to express their gratitude, there was always a share for me, which greatly satisfied my secretly hidden vanity.

In fact, at the beginning, Professor Lin didn't quite agree with me going in and out of my inner world with him so frequently.After all, this is an extremely dangerous and uncertain task. He has much more experience than me. He can always infer the danger level of the patient's inner world through the patient's condition. If it is still safe, he will let me go in and practice together.

But my restless heart could not accept this arrangement. Finally, under my stubbornness and hard work, Professor Lin agreed to take me with me every time.Since then, I have traveled through many dangerous and wonderful worlds, and brushed shoulders with death countless times, and this excitement is addictive and even more difficult to satisfy.

Later, a new patient came to Professor Lin's office. He was suffering from severe mania.When I saw him, he had just been sedated, and his sleeping face looked extremely peaceful.

Professor Lin said that he contacted an old friend from other places, who also has the ability to enter and exit other people's hearts.Because the patient's condition is serious, and the degree of danger in his inner world cannot be underestimated, he decided to overcome it together with his old friend.And the day my old friend arrived was my exam day, so I couldn't participate in this adventure.

I suddenly felt a little regretful, and felt that it would be a pity to miss it.I was also a little wronged, feeling that Professor Lin didn't trust me enough.After thinking about it, I confessed my feelings.Professor Lin looked very embarrassed. He sat on the chair and pondered for a long time, asking my opinion over and over again. After getting a definite answer, he said that he had made a willful decision and wanted to go with me alone.

For this adventure, I secretly hid it from Professor Lin, instead of studying for the exam, I spent all my time researching this patient.After I thought I was fully prepared, I entered the inner world of that patient together with Professor Lin.

Professor Lin is not lying, his inner world is indeed extremely dangerous.Many times I stood under the scythe of death, and was dragged back by Professor Lin desperately.I feel very regretful and sorry for myself who has been dragging my feet.

We stumbled all the way, and finally found the patient hiding in the corner.The three of us came to the top of the cliff together. If Professor Lin's guess is correct, the exit should be here.

Finally, we successfully found the exit.On the barren rock, the green grass grew so unusually.

The patient stepped onto the exit first and disappeared before our eyes.As I was about to step forward, Professor Lin, who was heavily injured, suddenly staggered, stepped on the ground with one foot, and slid down the cliff.

Professor Lin put one hand on the rock wall, and now his injured shoulder was torn and oozing blood.I hurriedly reached out to grab him, but it was still a step too late, and I watched him fall off the cliff.

I stood there, at a loss for a while.The exit will be closed soon, if I don't get out in time, I will be left here forever with Professor Lin.

It was only a few seconds, but it seemed to me as long as centuries.I made the most difficult decision in my life—abandoning Professor Lin and choosing to live.

I think Professor Lin, like my dad, would not blame me, but I will never be able to pass this level in my heart.

After attending Professor Lin's funeral, I went back to my hometown.The ruins are still there and have not been repaired.With a slight obsession with cleanliness, I sat down in the dust, staring at the blue sky in a daze.

In fact, I am a firm materialist, but at that moment, I suddenly felt that the fire that burned when I was born seemed to really foretell something.

If it weren't for Fang Xuhai, I probably would never have the desire to treat others in this life.No matter how many people are saved, the life of a close person cannot be exchanged, as if he is always making a wedding dress for others.

But I think, if I really stop here, I'm afraid I will disappoint Professor Lin.My original wish was to be his most proud student.

Since then, I have started my medical career for nearly ten years.In fact, I never thought that I would become a doctor. I always feel that this title is too noble and distant, and it is simply incompatible with me.But seeing those family members begging me, trusting me, and thanking me, I was surprised to find that I can also be the support of others.

Two days before Song Tayun was admitted to the hospital, I had just passed my dad's birthday.During that time, I was very depressed, and it happened that I met such an annoying person, which was a great torture to me.

In fact, I have encountered many patients who are always talking and pestering others, but their goal is to get close to all of them.Song Tayun is different, I am very sure, his target is only me, which makes me very puzzled and troubled me.

No one thought that he would get entangled in other people's inner world.At that moment, I was very disturbed. He made me suddenly understand the mood of Professor Lin at the beginning. I suddenly shouldered the responsibility that did not belong to me. I couldn't shirk it, so I could only bear it.

Fortunately, Song Tayun is much smarter than me back then, and even saved me more than once.I was thinking maybe this is also a talent that I can't envy, isn't it that there is only a thin line between a madman and a genius.

I can't remember when I fell in love with Song Tayun, let alone why.If it was the wonderful suspension bridge effect, it would have lasted too long.He began to live in my heart for a long time, and his safety was more important than my own. However, a competent doctor should not have feelings for his patients, which is extremely shameful to take advantage of others.

I started trying to resist him, to avoid him.But Song Tayun is too special, the more you do this, the more you are seducing him in disguise.In the end, I chose to disarm and surrender.

Well, maybe I really am not a competent doctor.

Thankfully, there was a response to this feeling. His passionate demand for me was not just pure curiosity driven by the disease, but mixed with love.Just like I don't know why I fell in love with Song Tayun, I also don't know why he fell in love with me. I think even if I ask him, he might not be able to answer.

Perhaps this is also a kind of fate between us, and I suddenly feel very interesting when I think about it.Many things do not require a standard answer like doing a question.

It's just that every time I hold his hand, I always feel a little uneasy.I don't know if I have really grown up after [-] years, if I have been able to protect others from wind and rain instead of bringing wind and rain to those close to me.

But I think this is not something that can be solved by escaping.That fire has always been spreading in my heart, maybe what I need is not to extinguish it, but to live in peace with it.

Today, I went to my father's grave again.Walking in the cemetery, I looked up and saw a beautiful cloud, I couldn't help but take a photo of it and send it to Song Tayun.

Half a minute later, Song Tayun replied, he said, I miss you too.