coward

Li Qinghe was confused for a moment. He watched Li Xiluo standing firmly behind him, his expression tense, his hands trembling due to extreme tension.

"I..." Li Qinghe became even more confused.

"Hey, put it down, be obedient." His voice was trembling, with the eagerness to lose something, but afraid of scaring something, he trembled and coaxed softly.Listen carefully, there is still a cry in his voice.

Li Qinghe followed Li Xiluo's gaze and landed on his arm.

His left arm was already bloody.The knife marks were criss-crossed, and each cut was deeply engraved in the flesh and blood.

He held a knife in his right hand.

The one that was thrown in the corner of the alley.

Li Qinghe saw the tragedy in his hand, and threw the knife away, but he didn't want the knife to fall at Li Xiluo's feet.

He wanted to pick it up, but trembled because of the extreme confusion of his thoughts.

He subconsciously covered the wound with his clothes.

Midsummer, half-length short sleeves worn by teenagers.

How can I hide it.

He started screaming.

Mixed with tears and confusion.

The next moment he was taken into an embrace.

To be coaxed, to be comforted.

All the grievances and fears were taken over.

The teenager called for help in the sunset.

"Tian Cen... help me."

"it is good."

The wind blows across the field, caressing a layer of waves,

The sparrow returned late, startled and dumbfounded.

As the sun sets, large swathes of sunflowers bow their heads, silently acknowledging the arrival of tomorrow.

………………

On my way back he told me he was going for a walk today, by the little pond.

He's normal and well behaved.

But I know, no.

I was in a hurry, and I didn't dare to think about that kind of result.

God loves to joke with me.

When I arrived, he was already covered in blood.

I called him and he was as unresponsive as a puppet.

He said that now he has no external perception.

He is so cruel, he locked himself in a cage, even if I hit my head and bled, I would not be able to go to his world.

He was afraid that I would see him like this.

So I really haven't seen it once.

until today.

Until now.

I'm mad at him.

But seeing his confused and painful expression, I suddenly regretted it.

He said it hurts.

He cried out in pain.

When I had him he bit his lip and didn't cry out the pain, when I kissed his old scar he cried like a child.

With so many injuries on his body, he didn't cry out for pain. When I took off the white T to cover his wounds, he cried depressively and indulgently.

He yelled for help in my arms.

A place where he'd been trying to strip away the pain in a crazy and destructive way.

He kept saying Brother Cen to save me.

I will save you.

I will love you too.

My Qinghe.

…………

Tanabata tomorrow.

The day after tomorrow is Li Qinghe's birthday.

Of course, it was also Li Xiluo's birthday.

The two agreed.

A certain day in winter after ten years has always belonged to another person's birthday.

Seeing these two people mysteriously for the past two days, I just wanted to laugh, "Are you two together? It's just a birthday."

The two grinned sullenly, but didn't reveal anything.

Go ahead, young man.

On Qixi Festival, the two of them didn't go to part-time jobs, so they had fun all day.

The two of them went to the zoo for a day and giggled like kids for a day.

Li Qinghe couldn't walk when he saw the marshmallows, and moaned for Brother Tian to buy them.

"Would you like to buy one? It's just the powder blue one, it's delicious."

"People and children are not as greedy as you." Li Xiluo pinched Li Qinghe's ears.

Li Qinghe smiled with narrowed eyes.

Li Qinghe squatted on the steps and gnawed a marshmallow that was bigger than his head.

Li Xiluo watched from the side and smiled.

When the wind blew, the cotton candy covered his little boyfriend's face.The child just curled his lips, "What, it's so sweet." As he spoke, he wiped the cotton candy sticking to his face, and it became stickier and sticky until it could be pulled out.

Li Xiluo put aside and laughed so hard that the child looked disgusted.

"Stop laughing, Li Tiantian."

"If you laugh again, I'll smear your face, believe it or not!"

"No more kisses." Li Qinghe whispered.

"Hey hey hey, don't don't don't, I still have to kiss." After saying "baji", he kissed Li Qinghe's face, and then smiled again, "Fuck, this **** can still talk!"

In the end, the two of them each held an ice cream, Li Qing and a variety of flavors, and the milkshakes were stacked high.

While Huan was chewing, the milkshake fell to the ground with a "clack", and the child was dumbfounded.

"What the hell... what are you doing!" Li Qinghe looked at the milkshake on the ground and pointed it to Li Xiluo.

"What are you doing? Run!" Before he could finish speaking, he dragged the person away.

When I was in school before, when the old popsicle fell off the test paper, Li Qinghe could chew on it directly, and couldn't hold it back.

"What... what should I do?"

"tissue."

"No, this..."

The two looked at each other for three seconds.

“你他妈要是敢舔我揍你啊！”

Li Qinghe hurriedly licked it.

"Hold!"

"Dirty! Unhygienic!"

"I have mucous membranes, the first line of defense!"

"Fuck you!"

"I still have bactericidal substances, phagocytic cells!"

Li Qinghe was holding a math test paper and an old popsicle that was about to melt on the test paper, while preventing Li Xiluo from catching up, and fearing that it would fall, he hurriedly licked it.

"You fucking stop, don't run away!"

"I do not."

"God damn it doesn't work if you have immunity!"

"Fuck! Don't fall!"

In the end, the two of them sat next to the small table again, Li Qinghe gnawed on the old popsicle with a math paper in his hands, Li Xiluo leaned sideways and looked at him, "Tsk, you look so stupid."

While Li Qinghe wasn't paying attention, he took the paper from his hand and threw it into the trash can.

Li Qinghe was heartbroken, "I'm a popsicle! I'm a test paper!"

"Write mine." Li Xiluo took his paper and slapped it on the table.

"I……"

"Stop nagging! Brother Luo will buy it again! Buy two!"

"Okay brother!" Li Qing sat down like a dog.

"Stupid!"

It's not that he's afraid of Li Qing and Koukou Soso doing some shameless things, but he's afraid that the children will feel distressed.

No, I pouted for a long time.

"Do you really want to eat?" Li Xiluo asked him with a smile.

"forget about it."

Li Xiluo suppressed a smile.

Come on, the kid is picking up his energy.

In the end, Li Xiluo bought another one.

Li Qinghe was having fun again.

Later, the two of them bought a long candy whistle from a small snack cart.

Blowing and inhaling make noises, and when you have enough fun, you can crunch it to pieces.Peeled a new one and threw it into his mouth.

Li Xiluo looked at Li Qinghe's actions and laughed, "Did you never grow up?"

"Well, it's a small one, and it's still not eighteen." Li Qinghe nodded dignifiedly, and leaned into Li Xiluo's ear and said.

"Fuck, be patient."

Li Xiluo stroked Li Qinghe's long cropped hair and rubbed it.

Li Qinghe squeezed the small hard disk that had been in his pocket all the time, and smiled.

The two of them said they couldn't go back to the elder brother, and the elder brother explained a few words and agreed.

In the afterglow of the setting sun, Li Xiluo dragged Li Qinghe to run towards the broken building.

Finally, they stopped in the small courtyard where they confessed their love.

Li Xiluo pulled the man to stop, and the panting of the two intertwined.

Hot and hasty.

Li Qinghe raised his head and felt that he was about to stop breathing.

On the wall of the broken building, cracks passed through large areas of sunflowers, and finally disappeared in the afterglow of the setting sun.

Large patches of orange, warm orange, green,

In the afterglow of the setting sun, the boy in the broken building.

He drew that evening.

Behind him is the ruined building and the setting sun, and in front of him is the dusk and pictures in his memory, like a tattoo, which not only pierced into Li Qinghe's flesh and blood, but also engraved into Li Qinghe's bone marrow.

Li Qinghe opened his mouth, but couldn't speak.

He reached out to touch the painting, the rough and hard touch of the broken building hit his fingertips, but the warm and fiery throbbing was imprinted in his heart.

It took Li Qinghe a long time to speak. He pointed to the huge painting, "You...you painted it?"

Li Xiluo was about to laugh when she heard that, "Or else?"

"Well, my boyfriend is amazing."

Li Qinghe was hugged fiercely, "I wanted to make it fluorescent, but I didn't make it in time. Let's make it ahead of time, boyfriend."

"Birthday……"

"Shh!"

Before Li Xiluo finished speaking, Li Qinghe kissed the corner of his mouth, "I haven't given a gift yet! Boyfriend."

"Okay." Li Xiluo spoke warmly, lazily, and drowned.

"You close your eyes."

Li Xiluo closed her eyes obediently.

"Lower."

Li Xiluo bent down slightly.

There was only a light bumping sound, and then Li Xiluo's neck felt cold, and a small pendant was wrapped around his neck.

The corner of his mouth curled up, "Can you open your eyes? Boyfriend."

Li Qinghe looked at Li Xiluo who was smiling with his eyes closed, and kissed him according to his heart.

Li Xiluo didn't respond with any pause.

The two parted panting, their foreheads pressed together, and they rubbed against each other to feel the sweetness of the silence at this moment.

Li Xiluo touched the pendant on his chest.

It is a small skateboard, which can be disassembled. It is welded with steel sheets, and the axle wheels are polished brightly.There is a thin layer on the side of the board, and three letters are engraved.The whole little thing is strung from one end with a thin chain.

Li Xiluo gently stroked the small, inaudible three letters with her fingertips, bowed her head, and kissed them.

"Your name is not engraved, only mine is engraved." Li Qinghe held the small skateboard and said, "This is mine."

Li Xiluo laughed lightly, pinching the pendant that was no bigger than the palm of his hand, "Yes, it's all yours, put me on it, and I'm yours too."

The sun was setting, the sky was burning red, and the silhouette of a broken building was faintly visible underneath, and it was pitch black all around.

Two teenagers in white T-shirts climbed up the broken building and sat down on the roof holding hands.

I want to watch the sunset with you.

I want to wait for the darkness with you.

I would like to share the darkness with you.

As the night grew darker, the two of them occasionally got together to say a few words, and most of the time they hugged each other and looked at the sky.

The night breeze is light, the cicadas are singing far away, and the stars are shining brightly in the sky.

Today is Valentine's Day.

He just had his first real birthday today.

He is 21 years old today.

his boy today.

They are three years apart, but they want to spend the rest of their lives together.

When Li Qinghe's alarm clock for zero o'clock beeped, the two almost jumped up.

"Happy birthday!!!" Before Li Xiluo opened his mouth, Li Qinghe yelled first.

Li Xiluo suppressed a smile, "Happy birthday."

"Hey? Where's my fairy boy?" Li Qinghe rummaged through his backpack, but couldn't find it.

"Did you lose it?"

"Then what should we do?!" Li Qinghe frowned.

"Don't worry, I'll bring it." Li Xiluo took out a fairy wand from the corner of the broken building and handed it to Li Qinghe. Li Qinghe also saw a pile of paint beside him.

"Let's play, kid." Li Xiluo lit the lighter and handed it to Li Qinghe.

He looked at the joyous child in front of him, put his arms around him and said, "I hope I can live to be 121 years old, and let the little idiot love me for 100 years."

"You want to fart?" Li Qinghe laughed at him.

"Tsk, can't you think about it?" Li Xiluo bit Li Qinghe's earlobe.

"Row."

"If you don't survive, I will pay you back a hundred times in the next life."

"You are so greedy." Li Qinghe said.

"Well, I am." Li Xiluo nodded and breathed behind her ear.

"Me too."

……

Valentine's Day may not belong to them, but today, it must belong to them.

They kissed and hugged each other in the early morning, waiting for the darkness to see the light again.

……

When the two of them woke up, it was already dawn, and the early sun in the east could be seen faintly.

"Happy birthday."

"Happy birthday."

The two of them didn't stop, they went back to the auto repair shop, and rode their motorcycles to go to the bend.

"Hold tight, I'll take you flying." Li Qinghe knocked back Li Xiluo's helmet proudly.

Li Xiluo also tapped Li Qinghe lightly, "Well, my boyfriend took me flying."

The locomotive roared, leaving behind an afterimage,

Youthful spirit, indulged in the strong wind.

I took my brother Cen to bend, maybe he was feeling the bend, and I was thinking about life and death.

I thought about leaving this not-so-good world more than once, but I couldn't die.

I hate this world so much.

What a fucking world.

Sometimes I want to die.

The pain of self-harm allows me to break through my instincts to survive.

But now I don't need it, I don't need it this way.I have the confidence and courage to live a good life.

Life is hard, and we all have to live it seriously.

Go blow the summer breeze, or imitate my elder brother Cen and leap on a skateboard in the cold wind to get rid of your troubles, it can't catch up with you.

The shade is green and the summer is long, and every summer we have will be beautiful in the future.

………………

The author has something to say: happiness is hard, I hope you can have the courage to live.

?(Happy birthday)

Brother Luo's family will not be too happy, everyone has regrets.

take it easy.

It's almost over.

There will be special episodes that will be updated from time to time.

Thank you for liking, thank you for your company.