sunk into the earth

Zhang Chen's resignation application and text messages were sent together after he left the hospital. Cheng Sheng stared at the computer screen for a while, and quickly passed his resignation application. When he looked at his phone again, he found more than a dozen missed calls on the screen. There is a new text message at the top of the incoming call, which reads: I have already communicated with the personnel about the resignation, and I am not at home in the past few days. Go back to Yuncheng, and call me back when you are not busy.

Cheng Sheng stared at the text message, and after much deliberation, he still didn't call him back. He is quite self-aware in this regard, knowing that he can't act well, and saying one more sentence will add a flaw.

After the re-examination, Cheng Sheng notified Frank as soon as possible, and stayed at his home for several days to discuss with him their careers that they were stuck in the middle of.

Frank was very open-minded about this matter, leaned on the sofa and opened a can of beer, and said to Cheng Sheng as if chatting: "The doctor tells you to stay in the hospital, so you can stay here. There are so many people in the company now, it's not like there were only a few of us before. No one can go away. Now, you should take good care of the doctor first, and I will take care of the big things. If I can’t stand it, the money we have saved in the past few years will be burned. When I clean up and leave the house, I will go back to find a job. It's no big deal for you to stay here and listen to your father's arrangement."

It was pitch black outside the window, and Cheng Sheng leaned on the sofa to look out, but he was still in the mood to joke: "Then the employees scolding the boss during this period are all scolding you alone, not for me."

Frank choked on a mouthful of beer at his words, got up and took a piece of paper from the coffee table, covered his mouth and coughed violently, and finally said, "Don't tell me, I accidentally found out the truth two days ago. Someone scolded us, saying that the daily workload is so heavy because we have to deal with the aftermath of the wrong decision made by the two idiot leaders."

These words also made Cheng Sheng laugh, and the corners of his mouth drooped like a cassette for a few seconds, "Come on, you stand here, and you will be scolded for everything you do." He rested on the sofa, with his neck facing Looking up, eyes straight to the ceiling, he thought of something and suddenly said: "I have made wrong choices in every choice since I was a child, and I am really not suitable to be a boss."

Frank said "Hey" and asked, "Really? Never got it right once?"

Cheng Sheng thought about it carefully and said: "Only when the exam is basically correct, the rest of the time is completely wrong."

Frank muttered first: "You guys really know how to take exams. There used to be a Chinese girl who came halfway through high school and got A+ in every subject. I've never seen someone who could take the exam like this." , and suddenly realized again: "Then I finally understand why you are mentally abnormal. Every choice is wrong, and it would be crazy to put it on you, a stubborn donkey."

After speaking, he looked in the direction of Cheng Sheng, saw his thin cheeks and sharp chin, the beer bottle in his hand was close to his mouth, but he didn't open his mouth to touch it, and sighed after a long time: "I remember When we were studying for a master’s degree together, you followed someone’s laboratory to do a particularly interesting project, and you mixed up two articles, and your mental state improved a little during that time.” He recalled something, with sunken eyes Blinking, he continued: "Who would have thought that doing business would be like this? We thought we could be a small boat riding the wind and waves on the cusp of the storm."

Cheng Sheng still held his head up, and laughed happily: "It's not that easy, and it's not that easy on my own."

He caught a glimpse of Frank looking at him from the corner of his eye, straightened up, went to the coffee table, got a bottle of Coke, unscrewed it, changed to a more relaxed sitting position, and said: "My dad really despises me for starting a business, he I think I should do scientific research to the top. Finding a teaching position in a university is better than doing business. I have been against him since I was a child, and then against myself. Now I find that the most suitable for me seems to be what he said. He is better than me I know better what I am suitable for.”

Frank, who was next to him, opened another can of beer. He was about to hand it to Cheng Sheng when he suddenly realized that he was going to refrain from drinking alcohol for a while. After saying "fuck" a few times, he continued: "Let's do it well first, and when someone is willing to buy us, we will withdraw and take a rest. If this continues, our lives will be overdrawn. No matter how hard we can endure Save your life."

On the night of deciding to be hospitalized, Cheng Sheng went to Haiyan's house with a hand full of gifts.The month of hospitalization coincided with the New Year's Eve, and Cheng Sheng guessed that he might not be able to spend New Year's Eve with them, so he went to the supermarket by himself to sweep around, and bought some food and drink to send to Haiyan in advance.Haiyan's house is in the middle of a broken tube building with only a few floors high. It is more than ten square meters in size.Cheng Sheng was not familiar with this area. He searched for a long time among the tube buildings with two big plastic bags before finding the right place. He tucked the phone he had just finished calling under one shoulder as he walked slowly in the dark corridor. Walk.

There is no sign on every door in this building. Haiyan was afraid that Cheng Sheng would not find her home, so she leaned on the corridor and waited for him. She has a special ability, she can skillfully and accurately distinguish the footsteps of different people, just heard the stairs Exaggerated the movement in the room and shouted down: "Boss Cheng, are you here?"

The people below responded all over and responded enthusiastically to her.

Haiyan was still smiling a second ago, but as soon as she heard the sound of the packing box in Cheng Sheng's hand rubbing back and forth, the smile on her face disappeared instantly, and her tone became unhappy: "Why did you bring me so many things? I There is nothing missing here."

"I'm going to be busy with company affairs during the Chinese New Year, so I don't have time to be with you guys. Isn't this to make up for it in advance?"

Haiyan, who was standing at the entrance of the corridor, let out an "oh", but her brows were furrowed, she was still unhappy.

Cheng Sheng climbed up from the bottom of this dilapidated building in the dark, and finally saw some light at the entrance of the corridor. Following the light, he saw the whole floor where Haiyan lived. A dozen or so houses were crowded in the narrow corridor, and the paint on each door was peeled off. .He walked in behind Haiyan, stopped at the door, and couldn't help asking her: "Zhang Chenmei can find you a better place to live?"

Haiyan, who was opening the door with the key, instantly opened her frowning brows, and said with a smile, "You really don't know Zhang Chen."

The jingling keys were taken away again, Haiyan entered the door with Cheng Sheng behind her, put her crutches by the door, rolled on the bed with a bang, and said to Cheng Sheng with her face: "I have hands, feet and a job. Even if he is my own brother, I wouldn't spend his money. Zhang Chen understands me."

After she finished speaking, she straightened up thumpingly, leaned against the head of the bed, and beckoned Cheng Sheng to come over, "There is nothing at home, just sit on my bed!"

Cheng Sheng put the New Year's goods he brought on the only table in the whole room, and surrounded it by the way. There was a big gray wall, green paint on the lower part, and a wooden table that was as high as his hips, next to the table. There was a row of red and green thermoses standing at his feet, and Cheng Sheng wanted to move his feet to the kitchen, but he heard Haiyan in front of him constantly urging him to sit on the bed.

He sat down next to Haiyan, and the people next to him seemed very excited because of his arrival, they put their arms around his arm, leaned on him and smiled: "Don't you, a local, know that there is such a place?"

Cheng Sheng felt that she was warm, and after saying "yes", he leaned against her head, and slowly talked about the serious matter that had been in his heart for a long time: "Do you want to change jobs? Our company has moved to a new building, and now we are We need to recruit two front desks who will be in charge of inquiries."

Haiyan gave an exaggerated "wow", and instead of answering his words, she sighed, "You are really rich, you can buy an entire building to start a company."

"It's not buying, it's renting on an annual basis."

"That's rich too!" Haiyan giggled, "[-] a month here is too expensive for me, how much does it cost to rent a whole building!"

Cheng Sheng said, "It's not all my money, it's my partner's money, and some investors' money."

Unexpectedly, Haiyan leaned on his shoulder and then sighed: "As expected of a big boss, doing business requires multiple contributions."

Cheng Mingbai couldn't explain it to her, so he just had fun with her. He laughed for a while, but still didn't give up. He seriously tried to persuade Haiyan to work: "The job content is very simple. You can definitely do it." Do it, come on, come on."

The person leaning on his shoulder didn't answer, Cheng Sheng continued to persuade: "The front desk is easier than the blind massage you do now, the environment is good and the salary is high, so you can come to my place."

Haiyan frowned suddenly for such repeated invitations with a clear purpose. She was silent for a long time and suddenly asked: "Why are you so nice to me?" Without waiting for Cheng Sheng to answer, she asked further: "Are you nice to all women? Or are you with me?" Like Zhang Chen?"

Cheng Sheng raised his head in a daze, and asked, "What is Zhang Chen like? He treats all women very well?"

"Zhang Chen is only very nice to two women, and he doesn't care about others." Haiyan straightened up, her pair of unwavering eyes closed, as if she was remembering something, after a few seconds, she probably felt that the buffer time was enough, and she looked up Facing the ceiling, he slowly opened his mouth and said: "Zhang Chen is very kind to me, and he is also very kind to the female drummer in their band, but that is not a good way. Zhang Chen finds me a job and helps me get back to normal." Debts at home, take me to the provincial capital and go to Beijing, and even gritted my teeth to take me during the most difficult and difficult times. I am blind and can't see anything, but I have a very clear frame in my heart. A man treats a woman like this It’s nice but you don’t want anything from her, why do you think this is?”

In the middle of the talk, she fell down on her broken wooden bed with a thud, and continued: "But he treats Qiyuan differently. He never treats her like he treats me. Old Liu and I have a good relationship. He always says Zhang Chen That person is very strange. He obviously loves to stare at Qiyuan, but he couldn't be more strict with her during the rehearsal and recording, pointing out any slight flaws without mercy. But Zhang Chen is still kind to her, you know that girl The drummer is so arrogant, like a tigress, when he first came to Beijing to perform, he got into a fight with someone on the Wuming Heights. I heard about it later from Lao Liu, saying that the man was caught by Qi Yuan in the backstage with a bruised face, and angrily slapped her in the face Spitting on the floor, how dare you play drums in the band even if you can't step on the bass drum steadily? Being a sleepy man is not enough for her to play? That man was pressed on the floor by Zhang Chen as soon as he finished speaking, and all the band staff nearby He ran to fight, but who can stop Zhang Chen? He beat the man until his mouth was bloody, his cheeks were swollen, and several teeth were knocked out, and he kept fighting. Later, the man's eardrum was perforated and he was admitted to the hospital. It’s over once he settles his hospital bill.”

After she finished speaking, she began to laugh, and her cheek muscles contracted with the laughter. She pulled Cheng Sheng's sweater sleeves, and said with a smile: "He is only very kind to us two, as if he has found an exit, how about you?"

Cheng Sheng was stunned, his body half stiff.After almost a minute, he followed Haiyan's hand and lay side by side with her on the plank bed, turned half of his body towards Haiyan, his eyes scanning back and forth on her somewhat familiar face.Through her face, Cheng Sheng seemed to see a familiar woman. She had a disheveled face but insisted on tidying herself up. Her hair was coiled behind her head. Seeing such a face, something suddenly happened to him. Impulsively, he took Haiyan's calloused hand into his own to warm it up, and only after a while did he say, "I'm the same as Zhang Chen."

After speaking, he wrapped her hand tightly again, muttering: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

These three sorrys made Haiyan laugh exaggeratedly, her nose and eyelids wrinkled, and when she had finished laughing, she turned sideways, hugged Cheng Sheng's head, let him lie on her neck, and said with a sigh: "Brother, I figured it out, you and Zhang Chen are actually the same kind of people in your bones."

Coming out of Haiyan's house, Cheng Sheng squatted on the side of the road and smoked a few cigarettes in a row. When he got up, he felt dizzy and nearly hit a tree. The mobile phone typed a sentence in the text message: I miss you so much, I miss you so much.

He stared at the screen, unable to press the send button no matter what, this text message was deleted, written and deleted, and finally sent: Recently, I have a big project to be busy with Frank, and I plan to move back to the original place for a month , After finishing this time, I will go home.

A phone call came from the opposite side just after sending the text message. Cheng Sheng was afraid that he would reveal his secrets if he opened his mouth. The phone number suddenly became the landline at home.

Cheng Sheng stared at the screen, letting the familiar number keep jumping, and finally picked up.

Dad's voice was much older, and he started to choke after saying "Hello", as if he didn't know what to say to his strange son.

Cheng Sheng was holding his mobile phone under the street lamp, remembering that he rummaged through boxes and cabinets in the old house to pack things before going abroad, and happened to find the black and white photo album of his parents. In the picture, several young people in white shirts stood on the iconic plaque of the second gate In the next group photo, their black hair was blown up by the wind, and their faces were full of spirited smiles.Cheng Sheng also turned to Lao Cheng's diary. The thick cowhide book was packed with dense words. He randomly flipped to a page and wrote in it: Mathematics is so fucking difficult, learn to learn, learn from his mother's legs ,I'm going to vomit!When I have a child, I will learn more difficult things according to him!

Cheng Sheng came back to his senses, facing the street lamp and said "Dad" to the phone. The rebellious young man, Old Cheng, suddenly shrank into a middle-aged man who was as crumpled as old tree bark.When he finally heard something from the other side, he also opened his mouth, but he kept chanting Cheng Sheng worriedly: "Why don't you know how to go home to see your parents? I've never seen someone so busy as you, the old businessman's son and You also start a business and do real estate development. Why do you have such a leisurely life every day? A few days ago, your mother and his mother were shopping for afternoon tea and happened to mention this. When they came back, they told me that they envied their son and knew how to take time to come back to accompany him. parents."

With the bag in his hand, Cheng Sheng walked under a row of streetlights, thought for a while and said to the opposite side, "It's different, I have to go through all the big and small things here, and I really don't have time for it."

There was another long sigh on the other side, "By the way, you don't live in the original house anymore? Your mother wanted to visit you last night, but no one was there no matter how hard she knocked on the door, and she turned off the phone when she called you. It is said that the management of the broken community is not strict, there are so many people coming and going to enter the gate of the community, and the security guards don’t even ask, can you live comfortably in that place? Go home and live, it’s not too far from your unit.”

Cheng Sheng lowered his head, remembering what happened at Haiyan's house just now, those warm female arms wrapped his head around his head, and wrapped the apology he couldn't find an exit into his chest. He also thought of Zhang Chen, and of him and I did the same thing, suddenly decided something, and blurted out to the other end of the phone: "Dad, I'm married, and I'm going to try to live my own life in the future."

Just halfway through the conversation, there was no movement on the other end of the phone, but then there was a loud bang, as if all the plates and cups were swept to the ground and fell to pieces, and the person on the other side was panting violently like an asthmatic Furious, he spent a long time yelling at him at the top of his voice: "It's a waste of raising you! It's a waste of raising you!"

But he panted and cursed for a few words, and his mood fell to the bottom again. Hearing Cheng Sheng's silence, he asked him again unwillingly: "How long did you get married? Who did you get married with? The last time you went home So you want to steal the household registration book? Why didn’t you tell your parents about such a big thing? You are the only child in our family. We are all anxious at the age of 28, but we dare not rush you. Your mother and I discussed that we will definitely do one for you in the future. The most magnificent wedding, but you just..."

At night, the wind was strong, Cheng Sheng wrapped his coat, and under the street lamp he lowered his head to think about things. After listening to the sound of the person opposite walking back and forth, sighing and smashing the table for a long time, he finally said: "Not casual, not casual at all." After a pause, he said again: "Dad, do you still remember Zhang Chen? The kid whose grandma asked you to help him ten years ago, we met again. He is very good now, he can do everything, and he is more reliable than me. You see Definitely like him too."

The person on the other side didn't speak, just panting heavily, Cheng Sheng looked at the dark grass on the other side of the road, and then said: "Aren't you always worried about my illness? But I made a big mistake before, and there should be retribution, even if I get sick." Part of retribution. But my exit is clearly in front of me now. I want to cure my illness quickly and become a healthy person. I want to start my whole life all over again. Maybe I won’t do wrong things this time. You Just forgive me."

Cheng Sheng just gasped for breath while listening to the phone, and then said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."