sunk into the earth

On the day of returning to Yuncheng, there was a sudden light snowfall. Zhang Chen was still wearing a thin jacket, and he didn't bring an umbrella or extra suitcase. As soon as he got out of the train station, he rushed to the nursing home non-stop.

The staff in the nursing home had complicated feelings towards Zhang Chen. They couldn't tell whether they were curious or disdainful. The person in charge who received him frowned when he saw him walk in from the door. He just took a quick step to lead him to the monitoring room.

The monitoring room was surrounded by police officers and staff members. They looked up and saw Zhang Chen's appearance, they seemed surprised, but they quickly made way to replay the monitoring video for him.In this grey-green rough videotape, Zhang Chen saw Zhang Licheng pushing his wheelchair to the edge of the pond alone. The surveillance camera was too far away, so Zhang Chen couldn't see his expression clearly, he could only see him tightly Holding a stack of things in his arms, he looked up at the sky for a long time, then looked back and forth at the stack of things in his arms as if he was a treasure when he lowered his head, and finally even unzipped his coat to protect them in his arms.

The appearance of Zhang Licheng shoving things into his coat was really funny, like a serious mental illness. He tried to stand up with his head held high and his waist a few times in the middle, but he couldn't stand up successfully. He kept trying After more than a dozen times, he completely collapsed. He unzipped the zipper and left the pile of things in his arms on the ground. Finally, he struggled with all his strength and rushed to the pond.

A huge splash appeared on the surface of the pond for a moment, but it soon calmed down. A lonely wheelchair and a stack of flying papers were parked on the dry grass next to it. Everything was as calm as if nothing had happened.

Zhang Chen stared at the struggling arm gradually sinking into the water in the monitor, but his expression was as calm as the surface of the water in the monitor. He watched for a few more seconds and realized that the hand on the screen would never come out again. Ask the people next to you: "Why didn't anyone around find out?"

Before the policeman opened his mouth, the caretaker of the nursing home answered him first: "Everyone avoids him except when your dad is telling stories. Who can find him running to the pond behind him? It's winter again, and the backyard is freezing cold. Everyone stays in their rooms, who runs to the pond?"

Zhang Chen nodded, without any doubts, he just said, "What about the things he left here? I'll sort them out and take them away."

Seeing that he was not difficult to deal with, the manager breathed a sigh of relief, and led him to the room where Zhang Licheng lived with ease.The other old man in the room has moved to another place to live, and the whole room is empty, with no human taste at all.

Zhang Chen looked through the things in the cabinet one by one, and found that they were all random things with no real value, except for a stack of old photos at the bottom.Leaning against the wall, Zhang Chen flipped through one by one, and found that there were photos of himself from birth to seventeen years old, most of which were sorted out by Li Xiaoyun in the past.

After flipping through these photos, Zhang Chen opened the file bag given to him by the police, which contained the stack of precious things in Zhang Licheng's arms before committing suicide. Zhang Licheng, Honorary Worker of the No. [-] Iron and Steel Plant in [-]", Zhang Shen carefully examined the certificate for a while, and then dumped the rest of the contents of the document bag on the wooden bed, except for a certificate of family planning honor. It is exactly the same as this certificate, only the year is different.

Zhang Chen walked to the balcony and looked out for a long time. In the end, only a photo album and this pile of honor certificates of his father's treasures were left behind, and the rest were thrown into the waste station.

He is unbelievably proficient in handling the dead. He booked a familiar hotel, stayed in Yuncheng for a few days, and quickly went through the whole process of cremation and burial. He and Li Xiaoyun were buried in the easternmost and westernmost suburbs of Yuncheng.

On the day of the burial, there was a blizzard in Yuncheng. Zhang Chen went back to his mother's cemetery after finishing his father's funeral. There was a thick layer of snow on Li Xiaoyun's tombstone. Zhang Chen cleaned up the tombstone carefully and lay alone. On the snow in front of the mother monument.

This time he didn't even have the most bastard relatives.

There were large flakes of snowflakes floating in the sky, and a few children in the second and third grade nearby explored the cemetery, chirping and looking at the face of this strange man lying in the snow.

Zhang Chen was lying on his back, listening to the noise of children playing in his ears, and suddenly remembered that winter when he was about the same age as these children, several boys in the same class pressed him on the floor of the men's room during the exercise between classes, laughing and making noises. They rushed up to touch his chest and take off his pants, but one day they suddenly took the initiative to show their favor to Zhang Chen, and even sincerely invited Zhang Chen to join their small group and take him to explore the mountains in the outer suburbs.That night, Zhang Chen was lying on his back in the snow just like now. At sunset, he called the names of those children, but no one responded to him. As the sky gradually darkened, Zhang Chen was a little scared, and shouted loudly for his mother in the snow. These childish voices swayed back and forth in the wind and returned to his ears again.

The heavy snow turned into a blizzard at night, but such beautiful snow buried Zhang Chen’s body almost like a tomb. He was about to freeze, and in a daze, he reached out and picked up a wooden stick from the side. hit.Warm blood poured out from the wound he had punched with his own hands. He didn't feel pain, but just felt warm.He slammed the stick twice, blinking non-stop when he slammed it down, his eyes hurt from the cold, he blinked a few more times, and suddenly realized that the water stains from his eyes had frozen into ice and stuck to his eyelashes, and he couldn't understand his hatred He hit his legs more and more, as if he was the biggest enemy.

Just when Zhang Chen thought he was going to freeze to death in the mountains, his mother's cry suddenly came from his ears. He opened his eyes with difficulty, and saw Li Xiaoyun staggering over from a distance, pounced and knelt down not far from him. in the snowdrifts.

His mother patted off the snow that had accumulated on his face and body all night, unwrapped his cotton-padded jacket to wrap his frozen body, and asked in tears, "Shen Chen, why are your legs full of blood?"

Zhang Chen said, "I forgot."

Li Xiaoyun hugged him, warmed his face with a dirty hand, her lips were trembling as she spoke, "Who brought you here? You tell mom their names, and mom will avenge you."

The names of those children flashed in Zhang Chen's mind, but he told his mother, "I forgot."

After returning home, he had a high fever for a whole week. The fever seemed to have completely burned out his emotions and language system, and he could not speak a coherent sentence after waking up.Li Xiaoyun thought that the child's brain was burnt out, so she ran around to the doctor behind his back. In the snowy day, a thin woman ran all over her body in sweat.Zhang Chen may have been inspired, and within a few days he opened his mouth to speak slowly, but it was not comforting and obedient. He lay on the bed and held his mother's hand and said, "Mom, I want to die."

This made Li Xiaoyun go crazy, she gritted her teeth and pinched his arm hard, scolding him: "I have worked so hard to bring you up so that you can tell me these things?" Many bruises were pinched, Li Xiaoyun realized that she was pinching the child too hard, she suddenly withdrew her hand, turned her back to him, and choked up: "Mom gave you everything, I live for you, you have to live , not only to live but also to stand out, understand?"

Zhang Chen looked sideways at his mother's back and said, "I don't want to be famous."

As soon as he finished speaking, he saw his mother turn around, rushing towards him with angrily glaring eyes, and slapped his face with a thick callused hand. Shan was stunned, and then heard her voice of hating iron but not steel: "Why don't you understand mother's painstaking efforts? Your father told me that when you graduate from junior high school, you will go to the steel factory to give gifts to Lao Hu and arrange you for a job." In the light workshop, you have to stay in the factory all your life and deal with those parts, why don’t you understand?”

Zhang Chen stared at her twisted face due to rage, slowly put his hand on the back of her withered hand, and said, "I understand, I understand everything."

After junior high school, Zhang Chen suddenly became taller and taller every day, and his girlish face gradually became masculine. Boys in the school no longer dared to provoke him, but girls became popular among girls. A grandmother who knew her waved her fan and said to Li Xiaoyun, "Your family, Zhang Chen, has been reserved by my granddaughter."

Li Xiaoyun was laughing on the surface, but she thought in her heart: My son is handsome and smart, and he will be admitted to a prestigious university in the future. If he goes to a big city, he will surely catch the daughter of a wealthy family. Who will stay here and wait for you?She was still daydreaming about the unrealistic blue sky, and when she came home at night, she saw Zhang Chen leaning against the door with blood on his face. Li Xiaoyun was frightened, ran over to pull his sleeve, and asked anxiously, "Why are you covered with blood all over your face?" Blood?"

Zhang Chen wiped the blood on his face with the back of his hand, but the blood had already dried up, so he couldn't wipe it off. In the end, Li Xiaoyun led him back to the house, brought a wet towel to wipe his face, and asked worriedly while wiping: "Tell me the truth, did you fight with your classmates?" Zhang Chen said, "I broke the head of our Chinese teacher."

The towel fell on the bed with a slap, and Li Xiaoyun froze for an instant when she wiped his face. It took her a long time to recover, and she stared and scolded him: "How can you hit the teacher? You have to tell me clearly today, why did you hit the teacher?"

Zhang Chen picked up the wet towel that fell on the bed, wiped off the remaining blood on his face, and said, "I forgot."

The snow in the sky was getting heavier and heavier, and the blind children nearby hadn't left yet, and even made a noise to build a snowman not far from him.Zhang Chen was still lying on his back, and remembered the day when he got his grades in the college entrance examination. He was also lying on the cemetery just like now, but it was summer, and the ground under his back was slightly hot.He remembers the day when his extraordinary score swirled around him like a giant vortex, throwing him right in the middle.Zhang Chen suddenly realized that he might never really be able to climb out of the vortex. He could only take a steel rod from the grass nearby and smash it at his leg with all his strength. He was relieved when a warm liquid flowed down his calf. , Throwing the steel rod back into the grass with a bang.

On the first day of college, the boss of the dormitory he was familiar with pulled him to a corner, put his arms around his shoulders, and asked mysteriously: "I heard that your college entrance examination score is almost [-] points higher than our department. Is it true? Such a high score How did you come to our school to study?"

Zhang Chen glanced at him, "How do you know?"

The boss moved closer to him, lowered his voice, and said cautiously: "There is a friend I know in the Chinese Department of our school. He is from Yuncheng. The red banner." He bumped Zhang Shen's shoulder, his eyes were full of curiosity, "Really?"

Zhang Chen said, "I forgot."

"Can I forget this within two months? I will never forget my college entrance examination score for the rest of my life." As he spoke, the boss suddenly showed a strange expression. Zhang Chen was so familiar with this expression of curiosity but didn't know how to speak. I just squeezed my throat and squeezed out a few words: "There is something I want to ask you. Isn't my friend from the same place as you? He said..."

Zhang Chen interrupted him immediately, and said clearly: "I am."

The person next to him gave an embarrassed "ah", as if he didn't expect him to answer so sloppily, but instead made himself not open and aboveboard, he touched the back of his head and said, "Understood, we are college students in the new era, we need to be open... Don't worry, I promise not to tell anyone about it and tell my friends to keep their mouths shut."

This person is loyal enough, he will keep his mouth shut when he says he will, and no one has given Zhang Chen that kind of look in the past four years.

The School of Computer Science in their school has just been established for a few years, and the teachers are mediocre. In the entire dormitory, except for Zhang Chen, there are only people who have not been admitted to the ace major and were transferred.These people from the School of Planning and Economics usually listen to serious professional courses at school. In private, apart from doing homework, they love to compete in some crooked ways, such as catching a Trojan horse virus that has become popular recently.Zhang Chen has no desire to win or lose, so he wrote a virus called "Cheng Sheng", which has no practical purpose, the only function is to make the poisoned computer shout "Cheng Sheng! Cheng Sheng!"

He felt that Cheng Sheng was a perfect match with viruses, both of them were good at violently invading other people's territories.

One night, Zhang Chen, who had just finished work, did not climb over the wall to return to the dormitory as usual. Instead, he turned to sit in the Internet cafe in front of the school. There was a blizzard outside, and the Internet cafe was filled with the smell of hot instant noodles. I was bored and typed a name, and happened to find a conference paper. The content in it was considered advanced at the time. Zhang Chen read it from beginning to end. After a while, he laughed suddenly, then tapped the keyboard at hand, clicked the mouse and pressed send.

At the same time, the host computer of the network administrator received an email, but the administrator didn't pay attention to it. The moment he clicked on it, dozens of computers in the Internet cafe all blacked out. People playing games and chatting about MSN all looked at each other, and within a few seconds, the computers in front of them shouted in unison. There was a sharp electronic synthesis sound - "Cheng Sheng! Cheng Sheng!"

This burst of electronically synthesized sounds doubled, at first glance it sounded like noise, and no one could tell it was a person's name.

The network administrator, who had eaten a mouthful of instant noodle soup, stood up anxiously, but no matter how much he clicked the mouse, the computer in front of him still did not respond. He turned off the monitor and turned off the power, but the loud and shrill sound continued, and finally nothing happened. , the network manager pulled the cotton slippers and ran to the main switch to pull down the switch. With a bang, the noise in the room finally stopped.

Zhang Chen leaned on the chair, looked up at the mottled ceiling of the Internet cafe, and smiled contentedly in the darkness.

When he sat up again, the heavy snow had stopped. Zhang Chen rummaged through his bag to confirm the train ticket back to Beijing early tomorrow morning, then took out the small keyboard he carried with him and connected it to the computer, playing a random melody in the snow.

The children in the distance were playing snowball fights, and when they heard the sound of music, they all poked their heads towards him curiously. After a while, a brave little girl ran to him, didn't say anything, just looked at him play the piano.When the sound of the piano finally stopped, she plucked up the courage to ask Zhang Chen: "The things you play are so strange, why are they so small?"

Zhang Chen said: "Because I am small, I can put it in my bag and carry it with me to record it at any time."

The little girl said "oh", but she didn't run away, but kept staring at Qin in his arms.

Zhang Chen took a full look at the expectant expression on her face, and waved her to come over: "Do you want to learn? I will teach you a few simple chords."

As soon as she finished speaking, the little girl ran over to him and stood still, lest he would regret it, she hurriedly stretched out her two hands to him, with a eager light in her eyes.Zhang Chen took a glimpse of the light in her eyes from the corner of his eye, and patiently led her to play the commonly used triads on his keyboard.The children in the distance all ran closer, with their eyes wide open and their mouths open, listening attentively to their playing the piano.

The snow that had just stopped drifted up again. Zhang Chen taught the children to play the piano for an hour in the snow, and they lay down in the snow again after they ran home from the cemetery together.

The snow was much smaller than before, and there was no special feeling when it fell on his face. Zhang Chen lay facing the snow for a while, and took out his mobile phone to call Cheng Sheng.

Cheng Sheng has been behaving abnormally lately, no one answered no matter how many calls he made, he even sent Zhang Chen a strange text message yesterday: Recently, I have a big project to be busy with Frank, and I plan to move back to the original place to live for a month. Time to go home again.

Zhang Chen read the text message carefully again, and it looked like a lie. He turned off the text message interface, and called Cheng Sheng several times, but still no one answered.

The sun in the distance was almost sinking, Zhang Chen turned sideways in the snow, facing the faint light, and sent a text message to Cheng Sheng: I miss you.

When I called again, it was connected suddenly, but the person on the other side was extremely abnormal, panting in a low voice, as if he was rushing somewhere a second ago, and his throat was about to be ruptured, so he couldn't get up. gas.

Both sides were silent, and Zhang Chen spoke first after a few seconds: "Why haven't you answered the phone these days? You've never done this before."

Cheng Sheng coughed and said under his throat, "I'm too busy, I really don't have time."

Zhang Chen asked again: "Then do you have time now?"

The opposite party paused for two seconds, and whispered, "You suddenly said you missed me, I was afraid you wouldn't be able to find me, so I ran to find a quiet place."

Zhang Chen lay in the snow and listened carefully, pressed the phone tightly to his ear, and asked, "Where are you now?"

"At the venue."

Zhang Chen listened carefully to the movement on the other side. Except for Cheng Sheng's rapid breathing, he couldn't hear other human voices. He didn't believe it, but he didn't ask any more questions. He just repeated to the other side: "I miss you so much."

Cheng Sheng was very unaccustomed to him speaking such straightforward words, and the voice over the phone was a little unclear. He whispered "I miss you too" and muttered something off-topic for a long time before finally remembering Coming to business, I asked Zhang Chen: "Are you not in Beijing now?"

"I'm in Yuncheng. My dad committed suicide. I've been busy with his affairs these days. I'll go back tomorrow." Zhang Chen didn't seem to take Zhang Licheng's matter to heart. , the tone is much more serious than before: "I want to see you."

Such a serious tone made the person on the other side of the phone choke up suddenly, and the sound of exhaling and inhaling became very obvious. He seemed to want to say something, but he kept holding back.

Zhang Chen also stopped talking, lay on his back watching the snow, and waited patiently for him.

But Cheng Sheng hadn't spoken yet, but suddenly a vague and hurried female voice came from far and near, as if looking for someone everywhere.

"Mr. Cheng? We will have a full body examination tomorrow to rule out organic diseases..."

Before Zhang Chen had time to hear the follow-up content clearly, there was a beeping sound in his ear after he hung up the phone urgently, and a new message lit up on the screen of the phone after a while: Someone called the hospital just now, it was a bit noisy, waiting for you Let's talk when we get back.

Zhang Chen straightened up, patted the half-melted snow on his body, and replied "Yes" to Cheng Sheng, but he didn't believe his words.

He thought that Cheng Sheng and his long-time old classmate Frank must have prepared a confession, and instead of calling Frank to extract a confession, he leaned over to pick up the backpack in the snow, and shook off the thin layer of snow on it. Walking alone in the direction of the hotel where he stayed these few days, he kept thinking about Cheng Sheng's recent abnormal behavior along the way.

Cheng Sheng has become cautious in every way now, except that he has no doubts about him from the beginning to the end. He dares to click any crooked self-made programs that Zhang Chen sends him, and he does not clean up when he finds abnormalities. The computer is fun.

Zhang Chen was thinking about this abnormal thing all the way. He thought that Cheng Sheng would connect to the Internet to work even if he had his last breath, so he relaxed most of his heart and bought a bottle of Coke in the small supermarket downstairs of the hotel. Go back to the hotel and turn on the computer, follow the program that hacked into Cheng Sheng's computer to find out his IP address, and then use the code he shared in the forum a few days ago to locate where Cheng Sheng is staying at this time.

There was only one light left in the hotel room, and the computer screen was faintly on. Zhang Chen stared at the name of the hospital on the screen for a long time. During these days, his vague guesses were actually confirmed in such a special way. He did not give Cheng Sheng any information. Called, just got up to pack the luggage for tomorrow morning, lay back on the bed with eyes open, and stayed up all night.