sunk into the earth

Cheng Sheng spent the rest of the second half of [-] in a state of confusion and unconsciousness as if he was walking on clouds.

On the day he returned to Beijing, Lao Cheng and his mother came to the train station to pick him up.Old Cheng saw that Cheng Sheng didn't bring any musical instruments back, so he patted him on the back as usual, but who knew that he didn't try hard enough, and Cheng Sheng in front of him fell straight back with a bang.

Cheng's father and Cheng's mother were so frightened that they almost had a heart attack at the train station. Fortunately, the staff came immediately, and together with Lao Cheng, they carefully lifted up Cheng Sheng who had fainted on the ground, and turned it over to see that the short sleeves were soaked in water. The pool of blood turned out to be a wound that hadn't fully healed when Lao Cheng slapped it open.

The family rushed to the hospital in a hurry, thinking that they were going to die.When people arrived at the hospital, the doctor on duty took a look and found that it was just a broken bone. There was basically no risk in doing a major or minor surgery.It's just that at a young age, I have suffered from the diseases of the elderly. After the operation, the roots will be left behind, and my back may hurt when it rains in the future.

When Cheng Sheng woke up, his eyes were facing the hospital floor, and there was the sound of clanging metal behind him. Several doctors in masks surrounded him, and one of the older ones showed the other young one how to sew such wounds. Quickly thread the needle.

In a trance, Cheng Sheng heard the conversation between the two doctors behind him, saying that his wound happened to be where the tattoo was, and once the needle was stitched, it was inevitable that these green things would be brought in, and it would be difficult to wash it later.

Halfway through sewing, a doctor noticed that the young man below was shaking constantly. The young man bent down to look at him, saw that his cheeks were full of tears, and felt worried. Now, has the anesthetic worn off?"

The elder immediately asked Cheng Sheng: "Young man, your back hurts badly? Do you want to add some anesthetic for you?"

Cheng Sheng sniffed and shook his head slightly, "It doesn't hurt, I don't feel it."

Now I feel relieved, the doctor is operating on it, and occasionally teases Cheng Sheng: "You are such a big boy, why are you crying?"

Cheng Sheng's voice became slurred as soon as he opened his mouth, but he insisted on saying, "Give me the lethal dose directly, I don't want to live anymore."

The doctors around him almost burst into laughter on the operating table, and the one who was suturing him shook his head and said behind the mask: "It's not good to do something, you will die or live at a young age." .”

After the operation, the seven aunts and the eight aunts all came to the hospital with gifts. Uncle Cheng Sheng thought that the farce was caused by Cheng Sheng running away because the family was not allowed to play bands. At this age, you can play whatever you like, and you haven’t embarrassed you in your studies, have you? How did you take care of it so much and make it so comfortable now?”

Old Cheng hesitated to speak, he couldn't tell about his son's homosexuality, and he was so depressed that he left the whole room and went outside to smoke.

Old Cheng didn't come back until all his relatives had passed away. There were only father and son left in the ward. The two of them were always noisy and had never talked openly. Lying face down on the hospital bed, unable to speak harsh words anymore, she sighed and asked him, "Tell me, what do you think?"

Cheng Sheng thought this was to talk about future plans, but he didn't think about the future at all in the past, and being comfortable now is everything, and now he was suddenly poked out like a fig leaf, he tilted his head to the window, and thought for a long time before Say: "I will not play those things you hate in the future, study hard, and keep reading."

Lao Cheng went to sit beside his hospital bed and shook his head: "I asked what happened to you and that child? Your grandma was so anxious to call before."

Cheng Sheng was still tilting his head, facing his window wide open, the sun was splashing on his face, Cheng Sheng squinted his eyes to look at the patients walking in the open space outside the window, and said: "It's okay now, people always do things. It's wrong, isn't it?"

On New Year's Eve, when a family of relatives gathered together, everyone would be surprised to see him and ask, "Why is Shengsheng so quiet now?"

"This face is not right, why is it so white, is it because you don't eat well?"

Some people saw that he was unwilling to answer, so they turned a corner and asked, "What will you perform for us this year? Can you play and sing on the guitar?"

Cheng Sheng waved his hand: "Stop playing, calm down."

The aunt's eyes were sharp, and she saw that the clothes on his body were all plain, and all the messy tattoos and earrings had disappeared. She asked Lao Cheng in the corner: "What's the matter with your Cheng Sheng? You used to dress like postmodernism, but now what's the matter?" Back to basics?"

Old Cheng turned to look at his son, who was sitting next to the radiator at the corner of the big round table. When people around asked him to talk to him, he dealt with it hastily. Hiding the whole body in a thick sweater, all the flesh on the cheeks disappeared, making the bones on the outline line so eye-catching.

Lao Cheng felt uncomfortable looking at it, but he couldn't explain the reason to others. He just said: "It's been a hundred days since the injury, and the surgery has exhausted the vitality. It will be better to recover later."

In October of the following year, my grandma returned to Beijing from Yuncheng for some unknown reason, but she and her daughter-in-law never got along with each other. People in their 70s insisted on renting a yard to live alone, and even planted a small vegetable plot in the yard. , growing flowers and weeding every day, and spent the days of disarming and returning to the fields in the city.

Sometimes she went to her second son's house with a vegetable basket, and when she saw Cheng Sheng, she never mentioned what happened in Yuncheng after he left, and talked about the future as if nothing happened.

Hearing that the city of Yuncheng was in the news again, several heavily polluted cities were criticized to pieces, and the leaders of those cities immediately tucked their tails and carried out drastic environmental protection projects, and Yuncheng was among them.

Cheng Sheng nestled on the sofa, hugging a big dog that the family had raised for several years to watch the news, when he heard that the entire portrait of Yuncheng had been stabbed, he hadn't heard these two words for several years, so he straightened up and looked The remote control turned off the TV, but the mood did not calm down after turning it off, and the TV was smashed with the remote control until the screen cracked.

Cheng Sheng's band has also disbanded completely. They are originally a university club, and they are far from the bands that have made a name for themselves in terms of technology and ideas. Haven't passed yet, how can I play with flowers?Only Chang Xin, who was signed by the record company, still sticks to this line, but the signing of the contract is not smooth. Other bands in the Beijing circle look down on their own bands, saying that they are fake rocks created by capitalism, which is shameful. .

Cheng Sheng really took it easy this time, except for reading, he didn't hear anything outside the window.At that time, their school had signed an agreement with several large foreign companies to set up a joint laboratory and training center. It happened that Lao Cheng had connections and was familiar with several professors of their school, so he introduced Cheng Sheng to a laboratory to do research. Research assistantship, so that I can prepare my resume for studying abroad as a graduate student in the future.

In [-], Cheng Sheng received an offer from CMU and was waiting for a US visa in Beijing.

Another summer, in mid-August, the plane took him to Pittsburgh.

When the plane took off, Cheng Sheng took one last look at the land. He pressed his face against the glass window, and suddenly saw Zhang Shen standing alone and waving at him. Once when he left Yuncheng, he told Zhang Chen in a fit of anger that he would never return to that shabby place with nothing in his life. In the blink of an eye, four years had passed before Cheng Sheng understood Zhang Chen at that time—not relieved, but It was taken for granted, as if it had been predicted that they would separate sooner or later.

On the way there, he read an English magazine, which introduced the results of neural network model training over the years, and wrote codes to change the world. Can Cheng Sheng change the world?He didn't know, he only knew that he couldn't even catch a single person.

Cheng Sheng fell asleep while reading.