sunk into the earth

In the summer of [-], Zhang Chen left Yuncheng and went to the only key university in the province.

On the day of filling out the application form, Zhang Chen sat in the old classroom where he had stayed for three years, and looked up at the window. Outside was a desolate street scene, scattered pedestrians hurried past, all with unhappy expressions on their faces.Zhang Chen didn't know what he thought of, so he chose a computer that was only opened two years ago by the Provincial University among the unfamiliar majors.

The green leather train from Yuncheng to the provincial capital takes two hours, which is not too long. He goes back and forth once a week, leaves on Friday and returns on Sunday, and changes shifts with the nurses to take care of Zhang Licheng in the hospital.rain or shine.

Zhang Chen began to accumulate records, and the school dormitory and Yuncheng's home were piled full of colorful discs.But Die needs money to support, father needs money to support, and nurses also need money to support, so Zhang Chen had to work a few more jobs.He washed dishes in a restaurant, played music in a disco, served fruit plates in a mass market, and opened beer. He broke it into eight pieces a day, but barely managed to cover the expenses of himself and Yuncheng's family.Every day when he went to the hospital to pay the bills, Zhang Chen would tense up. He only ate one meal a day, and took the train from the provincial capital to Yuncheng with the money in his hand. The house cooks itself a hearty meal.

Occasionally, Zhang Chen would accompany his father calmly, but his father may not always be able to pick up and put it down like him.

Zhang Chen pushed Zhang Licheng, who was in a wheelchair, outside the hospital to bask in the sun, and sat on the grass with a professional book in his hand, occasionally drawing a few key points with a pen and then doing a few questions.

But Zhang Licheng on the side insisted on disturbing him, complaining incessantly, complaining from the society to himself, and finally fell into one sentence: "Our family is unlucky, the world is not fair."

Zhang Chen put the book aside, facing the dazzling sun, said: "We are guilty."

Zhang Licheng immediately let out a dry laugh with his eyes wide open: "We are guilty? What is the crime? The crime is not reincarnated?"

"It's our fault." Zhang Chen took out an apple and a knife from his bag, lowered his head, and carefully peeled the skin for Zhang Licheng, then continued with what he said just now: "We don't even know why we live, but If you work hard to find it yourself, you may not be able to find it in your life. But some people are born in the right position and know what they want to do. Are they the ones who are wrong? No, it is us who are wrong, our ignorance, our ignorance. redundant."

Zhang Licheng asked: "You feel that you are redundant, why don't you die?"

Zhang Chen stuffed the apple into his father's mouth, and stood up alone regardless of the coughing cough of the person opposite him, patted the grass dregs and dirt on his body, and said relaxedly: "I don't believe in evil, so I just want to stay and find a place." , can't you?"

As soon as the millennium passed, the whole of China seemed to be pressed on the accelerator button.One-story bungalows near the school collapsed one after another, and new buildings rose one after another. The three floors became six floors, and the six floors became nine floors. Will the department building be built with [-] floors in the future?"

Zhang Chen let him hook his shoulders, and answered him seriously: "Maybe a hundred floors, who knows what will happen next."

After all, the provincial capital is developing rapidly. Although it is not as good as Beijing and Shanghai, it is enough to give people like Zhang Chen a possibility to move up.In his sophomore and junior year, Zhang Chen began to accept outsourced work, but it was not a law-abiding thing-he would be a hacker in the school computer room, but the money came quickly, and one order could cover half a month's hospitalization expenses of his father.

But his favorite job is a bartender. The salary is far from being a hacker, but he can watch the resident performances in the bar every night for free, and sometimes he can even take the opportunity to drum up a few times while helping people tune. Speakers and synthesizers.

At that time, bars were just emerging, and they were the only one near the university town, and all the college students in the city came here to have fun at night.There is a resident singer in the bar, who comes with a guitar in the middle of every week and leaves after singing.Then one day he carried a bass on his back, held up the microphone and yelled at the drinkers below: "I won't sing pop songs today, let's play some foreigner bass!"

Zhang Chen is familiar with this person, and he can always meet this person packing up the wires and speakers when he is off work.

Every day at two o'clock in the middle of the night is Zhang Chen's off-duty time. Once he was sitting in front of the store in the early hours of the morning playing the acoustic guitar that Cheng Sheng gave him. At that time, he was a little drunk. If he doesn't refuse, he is willing to give him a drink and is willing to give him a drink. Every night after work, he is a little dizzy.He sat on the side of the road playing the piano in a daze, and occasionally passed a couple in front of him. The girl was nestled in the boy's arms, and the two of them were walking on the street like conjoined babies. Zhang Chen looked up at them with a smile on his face, probably yearning for them. It could also be emotion.He didn't move his hand playing the piano, but suddenly hummed a song he wrote two years ago, it was a love song that had never been sung to anyone.

Humming, humming, someone sat next to him, and after a rustling sound, the bass sounded low, and the person next to him actually finished a whole song with him.

It was only later that Zhang Chen found out that this person taught musical instruments, guitar, bass, and keyboards in a piano shop next to their school, and he could teach everything.Inexplicably, Zhang Chen also followed this person to learn musical instruments systematically, and the acoustic guitar became an electric guitar. Later, he saved up a few months' wages to buy a keyboard and squeeze it into the dormitory, learning to arrange music a little bit.

Several times at the welcome party, Zhang Chen went to the stage to sing two songs he wrote. At that time, he hadn’t cut his hair for a long time. His black hair grew from the ear to the mandible, and finally to the chin. Zhang Chen He didn't want to cut it, so he casually pulled his hair up and tied it behind his head. He looked like a singer hired to perform.

Now in the school, Zhang Chen, who is in the [-]th and [-]th grades of the School of Planning and Design, will probably not do programming in the future, and will change his career to become an artist.

But the bangs in the front were always not cut, it was outrageous, piercing the eyes, Zhang Chen finally couldn't bear it for several months, went to the small barber shop next to the school to cut off the hair that almost covered the eyes and cut off a little bit above the eyelids.

There were a few girls piercing their ears behind them, shouting about the pain while urging their companions to do more.In the mirror, Zhang Chen saw a few girls keep glancing at him, back and forth several times, but as soon as they met his eyes in the mirror, they immediately turned their heads, and continued to joke around with their companions as if nothing had happened.

The young barber fiddled with the scissors in his hand, kept working and talking, lowered his voice and whispered in Zhang Chen's ear: "The girls in the back have been looking at you and want your phone number."

Zhang Chen looked in the mirror, and the person who was looking at him immediately moved his eyes away.

He thought it was funny, but before he could really laugh, a certain familiar face suddenly flashed in his mind, this face blasted Zhang Shen's originally relaxed nerves, and his eyes that had just smiled were almost empty in an instant.

Zhang Chen stared at himself in the opposite mirror for a long time, and waited for the annoying remaining hair in front of his eyes to disappear, then pointed to his nose with the barber next to him, "Put a nail here for me."

It turned out that there was an extra metal stud on his nose, and his bangs were shorter, at least they no longer pressed his eyes, but the hair at the back was still untouched, with the bottom loose and loose, and the top loosely tied together.

It was snowing outside, and Zhang Chen was not afraid of the cold. He only wore a jacket and jeans, and was carrying a black piano bag on his back, which contained an electric guitar.

During those days, Zhang Chen carried the piano back and forth between school and the piano store, sometimes walking, and sometimes squeezing the bus with the big piano on his back.

The winter passed and the next spring came. This spring was unusually rainy for some reason, and there was no dry place in the whole city for several days.

When it rains, Zhang Shen's old problem will be relapsed. The scars on his back are more accurate than the weather forecast, and when it rains, he will feel distressed.At this time, he had to withdraw from his life. He forgot about his part-time studies and even practicing piano and writing songs, and just stared at the pouring rain outside the window.

It was another rainy day, and Zhang Chen returned to school from the owner of the piano shop with his guitar on his back. He was rushing to get books from the professional building on the other side, but when he passed by a certain classroom, he heard the sound of clapping drums.

The rain outside was getting heavier and heavier, and the pattering rain almost drowned Zhang Chen. He stopped, walked uncontrollably to the music classroom, held his breath, and looked at the back of the drummer inside through the crack of the door.

It was obviously the back of a girl, but the rushing drumbeat reminded Zhang Chen of someone far away. He wasn't sure if he still remembered his face. It's been a long time, two years or three years?Maybe it will be almost four years soon. Zhang Chen feels that the days are too fast. In a daze, he can still think of the outrageous things he and that person did in the small dark room in the previous few rainy days, but he also feels that the days are too slow, because As the man said, I have gradually forgotten his face and voice in the passing of time.

It's just that every time it rains, Zhang Chen's back starts to ache faintly, like rheumatism that only the elderly get, and sometimes it's so severe that it takes painkillers to forcefully suppress it.

This labor pain will be with Zhang Chen for the rest of his life, from the moment he fell down to the grave, and every rainy day when he is alive, he will suddenly jump out and stab him, warning him not to forget.

Cheng Sheng did succeed.

It was only when the drums inside stopped completely that Zhang Chen outside suddenly came back to his senses, but instead of leaving, he raised his hand and knocked on the door.

The girl playing the drum looked arrogant, before she could even see the face of the person who knocked on the door, she turned around and asked, "Who are you?"

When she saw clearly that the person leaning against the door was Zhang Chen, who was somewhat famous in the school, the girl was taken aback for a moment, and subconsciously suppressed her unfriendly tone just now, and changed her questioning method: "Student, what's the matter?"

Zhang Chen is not good at talking nonsense, so he walked in and went straight to the point: "Do you want to form a band? I play the guitar and you play the drums. I also know someone who plays the bass and the synthesizer. We can make new music together."