miss me

The night of this day seems to be extraordinarily long.

It is clearly midsummer, the time of the year with the longest day and the shortest night, but this dark night seems to be endless, and there will never be any light.

Xia Xinghe turned on the air conditioner when he just fell asleep, fell into a drowsy sleep and felt cold again, got up and turned off the air conditioner, the damp hot air came through quickly, turned it on again, it was cold, turned it off, it was hot again, no matter what uncomfortable.

Or maybe it was because there was always another person by my side when I slept here before, but now that he is not around, I feel unaccustomed.

After tossing and turning on and off all night, Xia Xinghe simply didn't sleep, and just after five o'clock in the morning, he stood on the balcony to blow the air.

It's probably going to rain, and the weather is so stuffy and dry, it's like being in a steamer and being fumigated by steam.

The cicadas on the tree are tireless, there are gradually pedestrians on the road, and the shops selling breakfast in the distance are bustling.

I don't know how long it took, the sky finally dawned, and the heavy rain followed. The crackling rain poured down, and soon the ground was damp.

Zhuzi had already woken up, barking at the bedroom door, guessing he was hungry, Xia Xinghe sighed helplessly, and went to get more food for Zhuzi.

There were still leftover slices of toast in the refrigerator that he bought two days ago, Xia Xinghe didn't bother to heat it up, so he took a slice into his mouth and went out.

[Little Bamboo: I'm home~]

Bai Qingzhou did not reply.

The crowded subway was full of people, Xia Xinghe grabbed the handrail with one hand, thought for a while, and sent a message to Nie Xingchao.

[Xiao Zhuzi: Dr. Nie, are you there? ]

[Xiao Nie Xiao Nie said every day: Oh, Xiao Xia, rare guest]

[Xiaonie Xiaonie said every day: What's wrong?something? ]

[Xiao Zhuzi: Hmm... have you been very busy lately? ]

Xia Xinghe hesitated, and wanted to ask him if something difficult happened to Bai Qingzhou, and if he could help, but before he could find his words, Nie Xingchao's message had already been sent.

[Xiaonie Xiaonie said every day: Huh?Have it? ]

[Xiao Nie Xiao Nie said every day: We basically do this every day, we are used to it. ]

[Xiao Nie Xiao Nie said every day: Oh, by the way, Qingzhou seems to be very busy recently. I often see him transfer shifts with others, and even go to the archives to make copies of various materials. ]

The moment Xia Xinghe saw the news, his pupils shrank suddenly, and the next message from Nie Xingchao made his heart drop even more.

[Xiao Nie Xiao Nie said every day: What, you plan to go abroad to get a certificate? ]

Prepare materials?

going abroad?

Xia Xinghe suddenly remembered Bai Qingzhou's circle of friends back then.

In fact, these days, he has thought of that circle of friends more than once, intentionally or unintentionally, like a thorn in his heart.

He also wanted to go over and ask Bai Qingzhou why he was so ruthless back then, why he said he would go abroad without any warning, and he felt that he should let him go in the past, so why bother to bring up the trouble again and again.

But the wound still lingered, and he couldn't help worrying about gains and losses. How similar the current situation is to the situation back then, it made his mood drop to the bottom all of a sudden.

The subway arrived soon, Xia Xinghe casually responded to Nie Xingchao with an expression, and walked out of the subway station with his head down.

?Water has accumulated on the ground, the pea-sized raindrops fell on the small puddles, causing shallow ripples, and the rustling sound of the rain hitting the leaves in his ears, Xia Xinghe kept replaying the scene of that day in his mind, over and over again Tell yourself comfortingly.

it's OK.

he thinks.

They started again, and he knew that Bai Qingzhou loved him.

They will be different this time.

Returning home in such apprehension, Xia Xinghe fell on the bed without taking off his shoes.

His head was in a mess, and his chest felt a little stuffy. Xia Xinghe put his arm over his eyes and took several deep breaths. After a long time, the dull mood dissipated a little.

It can't go on like this.

Xia Xinghe thought, maybe he wants to talk to Bai Qingzhou.

Their state is wrong, and sooner or later there will be problems.

After making up his mind, Xia Xinghe quickly got up from the bed. He touched his phone from the bedside and wanted to send a message to Bai Qingzhou. At this moment, Bai Qingzhou also called.

A little tacit understanding dissipated the uneasiness in Xia Xinghe's heart. He pressed the answer button, and a smile appeared on his face unconsciously.

"Hello? What's wrong?"

Xia Xinghe smiled again.

Bai Qingzhou's voice came through the receiver: "Have you gone back?"

"Just got home," Xia Xinghe asked, "What's the matter?"

"Well," Bai Qingzhou said after a pause, "is it convenient for you to go back and help me get something? I'm busy right now and I can't get away."

"what?"

"There's a bag on the coffee table. I've already packed it. It contains my ID card, account book, and recent bills..."

Bai Qingzhou's voice was clear and cold, so calm that he couldn't hear anything unusual, but Xia Xinghe's breathing suddenly quickened, and for a moment, his mind was filled with the scene when the two broke up unhappy.

Feeling of falling, suffocation, as if something tightly blocked his throat, making Xia Xinghe almost unable to breathe.

The blood was flowing backwards, Xia Xinghe's Adam's apple was rolling, and he spoke with some difficulty: "What... do you want these things for?"

Bai Qingzhou's words sent him into hell even more.

"Buy a house."

Bai Qingzhou spoke lightly.

Xia Xinghe's heart suddenly fell to the bottom of the valley, and a huge sense of weightlessness crawled along his spine and covered his whole body.

"Buy a house? Why do you suddenly want to buy a house?"

His breathing suddenly became tight, "Are you going to move, why didn't you tell me in advance?"

"I……"

Bai Qingzhou's tone paused, as if he wanted to say something else, but Xia Xinghe interrupted him suddenly, not giving him time to speak.

"Why don't you consider me when you make any decision?" Xia Xinghe panted heavily, his voice trembling, "Now I'm asking you to carry things for you, so I know, if you didn't call me today, Are you planning to leave without a word like before?"

"I didn't think about anything, and I made my own decisions... Have you really put me in your future, have you really regarded me as someone to spend your life with?"

Xia Xinghe's voice unconsciously carried a bit of crying: "Why do you leave me like this every time!"

With a "snap", Xia Xinghe hung up the phone.

His head was in a mess, Xia Xinghe couldn't continue to think for a while, and now he replayed the scene from that year, putting his fingers on the screen to type those two words, but he couldn't press the send button for a long time.

Calm down.

The only bit of reason left told him so.

Xia Xinghe took a few deep breaths, threw his phone on the sofa, took an umbrella and rushed out of the house.

The torrential rain hadn't stopped yet, and the sight was blurred like a curtain. The raindrops rustled on the umbrella, and fell on the skin to be icy cold, piercing Xia Xinghe's heart one by one like silver needles.

Why have you come this far again?

Are we going to repeat the mistakes of the past so soon?

Xia Xinghe's mind went blank, and he walked aimlessly on the street.

The long road seems to have no end, the rain is too heavy, the raindrops hit the body along the wind, even with the umbrella, the clothes are gradually wet.

It's getting colder.

"Hey, isn't this Xiaoxia? Why did you come here alone?"

A familiar voice sounded not far away, Xia Xinghe suddenly came back to his senses, only then did he realize that he had unknowingly walked to the stray animal protection station that he often came to help.

"Come in, come in!"

Aunt Zhang warmly greeted him and found him a clean towel, "What's the matter? Why are you wandering in the street on a rainy day?"

"Aunt Zhang, I..."

Xia Xinghe's lips were pursed, he didn't know what to say for a moment, his auntie couldn't help but dragged him into the house, "It's freezing, let's go inside and drink some water."

The aunt was very enthusiastic, her palms were warm and strong, and she had a bright smile on her face. Xia Xinghe's faltering heart calmed down a little, and he whispered "thank you" before following her into the rescue station.

The size of the rescue station is small, but it is very warm. All kinds of small animals stay safely in their cages, comfortable and comfortable.

After entering the door, the aunt called Xia Xinghe to sit down, brought him a cup of hot water, and said with a smile, "Sit down and rest first, I'll sweep the floor."

The warm environment made Xia Xinghe gradually calm down. He was embarrassed to let his aunt do the work alone, so he quickly stood up: "Do you want to clean the cage? Let me help you."

"No, no, no," the aunt smiled and waved her hand, and pushed him back on the seat again, "I'll just clean it casually, and let your uncle do the rest."

After she said this, Xia Xinghe realized that there was a familiar busy figure missing from the room.

"Where did uncle go?"

Xia Xinghe asked.

The aunt raised her head, glanced outside the door, and said with a bit of anger in her tone, "Who knows."

She said: "We had a quarrel just now, and he ran out angrily."

Xia Xinghe was slightly stunned: "You...do you also quarrel?"

In his impression, uncle and aunt have always been a very loving couple. They have never seen them speak hard words to each other, and occasionally they can see that they care about each other in their eyes.

Do such loving couples quarrel?

"Of course, I've been arguing every day, and I've been arguing for most of my life." The aunt snorted softly and said dissatisfiedly, "I've never seen such a stubborn old man like him. Come back and forget it."

Auntie's tone was full of anger, but her eyes were still bright. Xia Xinghe could feel the emotion. Even if they were arguing, they still loved each other and trusted each other [-]%. They knew that this conflict would definitely pass. Will go hand in hand.

What about him and Bai Qingzhou?

Can they still go on?

The hot water swayed slightly in the cup, Xia Xinghe unconsciously sighed: "It's so good."

"What good is that?"

Auntie looked up at Xia Xinghe helplessly, then looked at his lonely expression, and vaguely realized that something was wrong.She stopped sweeping the floor, put the broom aside, and sat down in front of Xia Xinghe.

"What's the matter?" Auntie asked tentatively, "Unhappy?...Have you had a fight with your partner?"

Auntie's intuition was too sharp, Xia Xinghe opened his mouth, his lips moved, and finally gave a low "um".

It should be considered an object.

I just don't know how Bai Qingzhou thinks.

He really doesn't understand Bai Qingzhou now.

Xia Xinghe lowered his eyes, looking like a down and out little beast. Auntie's heart softened suddenly, and she asked him in a low voice: "What happened? Can you tell Auntie about it?"

"I……"

There were too many emotions accumulated in his chest, and Xia Xinghe really needed to confide in others. He seemed to have found an outlet to talk about what happened today. After venting his emotions, he finally calmed down completely.

……

……

"He wants to buy a house but didn't tell you?"

After Xia Xinghe finished speaking, Auntie tentatively concluded.

"That's it."

Xia Xinghe nodded, and his aunt asked again, "So you think he's leaving but didn't tell you?"

"..."

Xia Xinghe hesitated for a moment, then nodded hesitantly.

The scene just now was too similar to when they broke up back then, and he couldn't help but have some subtle illusions. Now that he calmed down and reorganized, he also began to notice something wrong.

Putting everything aside, the simplest question is, Bai Qingzhou works here, where can he move to?

... Could it be that he wronged him?

Thinking of Bai Qingzhou's hesitant tone just now, Xia Xinghe fell silent for a moment.

Xia Xinghe pursed his lips and didn't know what to say for a moment. Auntie also saw the problem, smiled faintly, and asked him: "Is there some misunderstanding? Like buying a house for investment?"

Xia Xinghe was silent for a moment, but he had to admit: "...Maybe."

Maybe it was really a misunderstanding, but the scars from the past made him lose his sense of proportion for a while, and his thoughts were extreme.

"Don't worry, go back and ask him what's going on." Auntie paused, then tried to speak again, "But..."

"But what?"

The aunt sighed softly, and said, "Auntie, just talk about it, don't think I'm talkative."

She asked, "Is there any conflict between you that you haven't talked about yet?"

A normal couple may be angry at why the other party didn't discuss with them about buying a house, but they rarely think that the other party is leaving them.As soon as Auntie's words came out of his mouth, Xia Xinghe also realized the problem.

He was still brooding over Bai Qingzhou's silent preparation to go abroad.

He kept telling himself that the past is the past, as long as it is well now, but the wound is too deep, the surface skin is festered, how can it be healed if the abscess is not squeezed out to let the wound see the light again?

Xia Xinghe was silent and did not speak, his aunt patted him on the shoulder again: "Go back and have a good chat with him."

She chuckled and said, "How can there be no conflicts between the two of us, just like your uncle and I have been quarreling all our lives, if you want to ask me why I can go on with him, there is probably something wrong with us I will tell the other party frankly, let him apologize if there is a mistake, and solve the problem together, if the resentment is held for a long time, no matter how deep the relationship is, it will dissipate."

Auntie's tone was gentle, and the smile in his eyes unconsciously flowed when he mentioned uncle. Xia Xinghe listened to her in silence, lowered his eyes, and after a long time, he replied in a low voice: "Okay."

Although he still didn't know how to speak, he finally realized that there was indeed a problem between them that had to be resolved.

Walking out of the aid station, the sky had cleared up at some point outside, and the water on the ground was still accumulated, but the sun quietly came out of the clouds, and the light shone on the ground, the light was still weak, illuminating the eyes again.

Xia Xinghe returned home quickly, hesitated, and wanted to take his mobile phone to call Bai Qingzhou, but when he reached the corner of the stairs, he suddenly saw a familiar figure.

"Bai Qingzhou?"

He froze for a moment, "Why do you..."

Bai Qingzhou was sitting on the steps of Xia Xinghe's house with his head down, when he heard his voice, he suddenly raised his head again.

"You're back..."

Bai Qingzhou stood up suddenly, and firmly pressed Xia Xinghe against the wall. The warm breath was on his neck, which was refreshing and unusual.

A certain smell filled his nostrils, Xia Xinghe was slightly taken aback.

"you've been drinking?"