blood marriage

[-]

On April [-]th, the long and lonely winter came to an end. The viewing peach downstairs in the hospital had already bloomed in two or three, and the branches were dotted with dots of buds. It was just that the sky was a little cloudy today, and it was said that it was going to rain.

My daughter was born in this world today. I hope that the spring breeze will be warm and the sky will be clear and bright. But the cat I have raised for three years has also left this world today. Let it rain as it falls.

I heard that my daughter’s birth was very dangerous. Last night, the amniotic fluid broke suddenly, and both mother and daughter were almost lost. Fortunately, the hospital is not far from home, and Ershan carried me all the way to the hospital.

I don't know where this weak scholar got so much strength.

My mother-in-law was smiling when she was talking to me, she seemed to love her granddaughter very much, she kept making her laugh, only Ershan, his face was still ashen, holding my hand, looking like he was about to cry, I don’t know I should laugh at her for being stupid, but I was moved to cry.

I know that his hands are trembling and his body is trembling. I know that he is afraid of losing me. He loves me very much, and I love him very much. It's a pity that I can't remember anything about last night. All I could think about was that weird dream and my dead cat.

I'm a little heartless.

But I still want to talk about my dream, and I can share it with my daughter when I get old.

I love keeping cats very much, but after I got pregnant, my mother-in-law would not let me keep them, saying that cats beckon yin and it is not good for the fetus.

In order to take care of me, she moved from the countryside to the city. She got up early and worked late every day, thinking of ways to cook delicious food for me, not letting me do this, not letting me do that, she was very cautious.

I couldn't bear to disobey her kindness, so I could only foster the cat that I had raised for three years at a friend's house. I personally carried the cat and sent it to my friend. It seemed to know that it would leave me for a while, Yu Yu Unhappy, I don't care if it understands or not, I explain to it along the way, I tell it, I will come back to pick it up.

When I left, it ran far away, meowing all the time.I miss it very much, I miss it very much. The doctor said that you should not think too much after giving birth, otherwise you will get postpartum depression.

But I can't help it, I feel so guilty about this cat.

I didn't even think of a good name for it, it has grown up, whatever you call it, it will turn back when it hears my voice, which makes me very headache.

Ershan said that last night he heard the sound of a cat scratching the window, and it kept meowing outside the window. It seemed to know that I was trapped in a dream and wanted to drag me out of that dream.

Ershan said that when he woke up, he smelled the smell of blood and saw the fine sweat on my head. It was useless for him to call me, so he carried me all the way to the hospital.

There were no pedestrians on the road in the middle of the night, and there were very few vehicles, but my cat that had been raised for three years was still hit and killed by a car.

Ershan asked me what dream I had that would scare me like that.

In fact, when I think about it now, that dream is not scary at all.

In the dream, I did not hold my heavy belly, but walked briskly on the dirt road when I was a child like a little girl. I remembered that I heard the sound similar to cat meowing and children crying, so I followed the sound to find , I finally saw a little baby curled up in a ball behind the weeds, crying like a cat, sharp and thin, I took the baby home, my mother was fetching water by the well to wash clothes, I asked her, I want to keep this cat, can I?

I can't remember whether it was a cat or a baby.Maybe it started out as a baby and became a cat, otherwise, how could my mother allow me to have a baby.

I was afraid that she would disagree, holding the cat in my arms.

Unexpectedly, my mother agreed. I happily carried her to the main room, sat on the wooden bed when I was a child, and found food and drink for her. When I picked her up, her eyes suddenly became dark and hollow. I was so scared that I left her and ran into the yard. I really wanted to tell my mother that I didn’t want to raise a cat anymore, but I was very afraid of my mother, so I never allowed me to keep a cat. I followed behind my mother, hesitating , but she ignored me.

The background in the dream is yellow, as if being blindfolded, but the inner activities and feelings are so real.

My mother had been dead for two years, and that was the first time I dreamed of her in so many years, as if she was still alive, majestic and loving.

Ershan listened to my dream and made me laugh with a serious look.

He said he was going out to bury our cat.

Where is the cat now?He said that he didn't know either, and no one had asked about the cat since the panic last night.

Maybe I can't find it, maybe it has been cleaned up by sanitation workers long ago.He still insists on going out. We have raised cats together for three years, and I have never seen him care so much about my cats.

Ershan said that the car was originally aimed at our family.

I don't know the truth about cat Tongyin, but last night, it saved our family.

[-]

october golden autumn

The light, through the peach trees in the courtyard, cast fine spots on the window sill, and the wind blew gently, and the light spots suddenly gathered into a ball, and then scattered around.

Xiaoyuan stared at the orange in Ershan's hand, bit her finger, and called out in a childish voice: Dad.

Ershan was amused, so he grabbed a bit of orange pulp and fed it into Xiaoyuan's mouth. The mother-in-law came in from outside and accused Ershan of giving children such cold food.

Xiaoyuan seemed to understand her mother-in-law's words, tightly hugged Ershan's retracted hand, and said in a childish voice: "Dad, eat, eat..."

"Okay, dad will eat too." Ershan stuffed the remaining oranges into his mouth, pretending he didn't understand what Xiaoyuan meant, and made a funny face.

It made Xiaoyuan cry, and picked her up again and stuffed her into my arms.

Tch, why didn't I realize that I married such a bad man before.

You see, the clouds on the edge of the sky are suddenly far away, and suddenly close in front of you, how wonderful it is.

Ershan was lying on the hammock under the gate building, stretched half of his body and wanted to talk to me.

Yeah, how nice it is.

It's just that if I don't stop writing, Xiaoyuan is afraid that she will cry again.

winter of the same year

The daughter sat quietly on the bench, looking at the sunset.

The setting sun tugged at the smiling face that was flushed red from the cold, trying to go back to the grand occasion that was clear and warm like spring at noon.But he can only bluff, like a clown who is overwhelmed.

How red the clouds are that day is how cold this world is.

Xiaoyuan's fever subsided, and I shouldn't be so pessimistic, but she suddenly became a different person, a puppet without a soul.

Biting his finger, salivating, and babbling a bunch of incomprehensible things, no one paid any attention to it.

If she was given a bite to eat, she would open her mouth. If there was no food, she would sit there all day without knowing how hungry or full she was.

The doctor said that the high fever may have damaged the brain nerves.

Ershan was much haggard, and the school often asked for leave. The school simply gave him a one-month vacation and let him deal with family affairs.

Instead, he became more and more irritable, throwing things around. Yesterday I stayed up until the early morning, and he woke up in the middle of the night and squeezed my shoulder. I thought he was going to persuade me to go to bed earlier, but I heard him say: "Stop writing , now who will watch those things, tragic love stories, it has long been out of fashion."

I dare not look back, afraid of his mocking eyes, his contemptuous virtue, the bastard.

I'm tired and don't want to quarrel with him.

Early in the morning, the mother-in-law rushed back from her hometown with her old body, scolded him, and wanted to take her granddaughter back to see the sorceress.

I disagree, children are too young to be exposed to those things, Ershan agrees with me.

There was no one to support her, and the mother-in-law didn't even want to stay for one night. She came excitedly and left angrily.

The moment before I set foot on the train station, I suddenly hesitated. I asked Ershan if I remembered the nightmare I had when Yuanyuan was born.

Ershan was also in a dilemma, and he also felt that he should find a witch for Yuanyuan to see.

[-]

September

The children around have all started to go to school, and Yuanyuan is still the same.

No school is willing to accept her, and no one knows what she is thinking alone, and she always starts crying and laughing suddenly, which frightens the people around her.

My writing has also entered a bottleneck period. For Yuanyuan, I no longer have the patience I used to. I, really, am not a competent mother.

I hit her again today, she refused to eat when I fed her, insisted on climbing onto the table and making a mess of it, I never thought I would get so angry, but when I slapped her At that moment, it was as if a knife had been stabbed into my heart suddenly, and it was so painful.

Everything was fine, why?It will become like this, I hate, hate God!

Ershan took the milk and coaxed Yuanyuan not to cry. After coaxing Yuanyuan, he came to coax me again. Seeing him busy and overwhelmed, the warm current flowing through his limbs, I couldn't help laughing out loud.

Forget it, let it be bitter, life is so long, it will be fine.

No school is willing to take Yuanyuan in, so forget it, one in the family is a university teacher, and one is a writer with a little skill in the field of literature, that's enough.

November [-]

A well-known film and television culture company in Beijing sent me an email, hoping that I could go there to serve as the director of the editorial department. I get a lot of money to write a book, and my job is stable. It’s a wonderful thing. I strongly want to go, but Ershan stubbornly disagrees.

I had already guessed that this would happen, he hoped that I could take care of Yuanyuan at home, and I ended up being a housewife after ten years of studying hard, even though I was a housewife of a higher class.

This time, we quarreled fiercely.

What is your salary enough for!I thought so in my heart, and I really said so, he stopped talking, his face was livid, and he slammed the door and left.

There was no way, I called that person back, and I told him that I was not going, and the loneliness in my voice could not be concealed.

"Your husband disagrees?" The over there pretended to regret, "It will be difficult to find such a good job in the future."

I really want to yell over there - hypocrite, get out!

But I dare not. Although that person is not a particularly powerful person, but I, a commoner, and Ershan, a teacher, want to give us a hard time and make us unable to walk for the rest of our lives. It is not an easy task.

I didn't dare to show weakness, for fear of giving him a chance to make an inch.

I hung up the phone over there, and I thought, I'm afraid Ershan's job will be lost.

November [-]

Ershan was really fired from his job, and he pushed me to bed without saying a word when he came home. We have never had such intense sex.

What's that man's name?he ask me.

Just a businessman.I hugged him tightly, thinking he was so smart, I should have guessed why.

Do not go.

I am not stupid.When you really get there, you still let others rub it flat and round it.

……

We all forgot about Xiaoyuan and her illness, and only had eyes for each other.

This world is so quiet, there is no disturbance in the world.