Hehe, the whole world is forcing me to be a stand-in BE version

【53】

I couldn't help being immersed in beautiful fantasies, imagining myself walking on the Naihe Bridge with white hair holding someone's hand, smiling and full of joy.

Then, the camera slowly moved up, revealing a heroic and stern man's face.

Hold!What the hell does I want a man's love for?

And it's not me that scumbag loves, he loves Bai Yueguang, who looks very similar to me, and I'm just an unlucky substitute at best.

So, I still beat me up.

In the end, I lied on the ground dyingly, tremblingly looked up at me, and opened my mouth.

I thought he was going to continue to be envious, so I rolled up my sleeves and waited for him to finish speaking before beating me up.

Who would have thought that he would use his last bit of strength to scold your mother, you unscrupulous bastard, quickly call 120 for an ambulance, and then passed out.

I decided to respect his last wish.

【54】

The mobile phone was detained by Qiao Lihong, and I had to do a multiple-choice question.

A: Spend [-] oceans to buy a new mobile phone, then tighten your trouser pockets and eat instant noodles for a month until your salary day.

B: I went to Qiao's house to ask Qiao Lihong for his mobile phone, but he was seized on the spot and engaged in all kinds of sex.

Between wallet pain and butt pain, I decisively chose the former.

【55】

But when I was in line to pay at the cash register, I touched my jeans and suddenly remembered.

Nima Laozi's wallet is also in the hands of that bastard!

So I had to choose C: ask the off-court support for help, let me send a small payment, and then accept his exploitation for a month.

But for this option, there is a very important problem that must be solved in advance:

Known: I am currently in the electrical appliance area on the sixth floor of the mall, and I found out that he is in the supermarket on the first floor of the mall.

Question: How can I learn the magic that can teleport through space in half a minute?

【56】

As it turns out, I'm a Muggle.

【57】

Is it still too late to sell a kidney?

【58】

I rolled to the first floor in despair, looked around, then went straight to the snack area, and found me.

He turned his head before I called him, and his eyes lit up like a desperate man seeing water in the desert.

I looked at the array of potato chips in front of him, and suddenly remembered the tragic experience in the past, screamed that it was not good, and wanted to run away.

But it was too late.

He jumped on me with a hungry wolf, and then transformed in seconds at the moment I was about to tear him apart, turning into a brown candy hanging on my body.

Brownie candy can't be torn off or rotted, and it can't be shaken off no matter what.In the more than ten years of fighting with him, I have deeply realized this.

So I had to choose to surrender.

Then I was forced to listen to three 10-minute lectures.

The title of the lecture is: "On the Taste of Green Cucumber Potato Chips or Wasabi Flavored Potato Chips"

【59】

He actually wanted to extend the lecture to three hundred minutes.

I beat him decisively.

Then throw both types of chips on the cart.

【60】

After cooking, I went to the study to call him. The computer was turned on, but he was gone.

I glanced at Lidi's wardrobe and shouted, "Yan Zhedong!"

"I am on the phone!"

The sound came from the direction of the balcony.

I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief, it seems that the beating last month was still effective, he didn't hide in the closet to scare me anymore.

You can hardly imagine how naive I was when I was young.

Last month he dragged me to watch a horror movie with him, and it was made in Japan. The horror is definitely at the level of a nuclear bomb.

In order to create an effect, he also deliberately turned off all the lights, drew the curtains, unplugged the phone line and turned off the phone, and blocked the door with a towel after closing the door. There was no light at all in the room, only the female ghost on the computer screen The white skirt reflected the gloomy cold light.

He managed to achieve the effect of being in the scene of a horror movie.

Then the accident happened.

I was always afraid of such ghosts and ghosts. I went to the bathroom halfway, and when I came back, I was horrified to find that I had disappeared.At the same time, the female ghost of the horror movie has successfully killed the heroine, and is crawling back to the dry well bit by bit.

The background music was terribly scary, and I felt like I was about to lose my footing. The female ghost suddenly faced the camera, grinning grinningly and said to me, "The next person is you."

These words were meaningful and ghostly, and I couldn't help shivering in fright.

Then, just like the scene in the movie, the closet door suddenly opened by itself, and a large black figure slowly crawled out from inside. After landing on the ground, it quickly grew taller and turned into a tall human-shaped black figure, reaching out to grab me.

My mind went blank and I fell to the ground.

At that time, I really thought it was a female ghost who was taking her life.

Then, the light in the room was turned on, and I made him point at me and kept laughing, holding his belly and laughing wildly, and finally fell to the ground, rolling on the ground laughing.

You said how could I not beat him.

【61】

A new QQ private chat dialog box popped up on the computer screen. I happened to be standing by the table, so I took a look at it.

[Editor Qingluan]: You are the first to promote the official blog of this issue, 2W update, you can't escape it.This time, if the update volume is not reached after the deadline, I will definitely lock you up in the dark room!

[Editor Qingluan]: Little angels are waiting to be fed, do you have the heart to let your readers down?

[Editor Qingluan]: Come out! ! ! (╯‵ ′)╯╧╧

[Editor Qingluan]: I know you are hiding behind the screen, don't try to pretend to be dead! ! ! !

[Editor Qingluan]: Hurry up!Even!new! ! ! ! ! ! !

Wow, a strong resentment came from the screen.

Another new private chat popped up.

[Planning Bihai Chaosheng]: Daddy Guan Shan, are you online QAQ Sorry to offend, can you reply me when you see the message? The radio drama "Yi Qi Jue Chen Xue Li Hong" has been completed. Thank you very much for authorizing this work to us. We would like to add an interview with you when we publish it. I don't know when you will be free. ?

[Planning Bihai Chaosheng]: In addition, this year is just the eighth year of your serialization. We all like your book very much. If it is convenient for you, we would like to hold an event on YY to have fun. We will invite many people The well-known CV is here, and the members of the radio drama will also be there this time. The readers in your book group also want to have such a chance to contact you.The time is tentatively scheduled to be XX day, are you free that day?If you are not free, the time can be adjusted again. We really like your novels. Can you spare some time to participate?

The qq in the lower right corner of the computer screen kept flashing, and there were more than a dozen friend applications and group chat conversations, and it was extremely busy.

I do know that Fa Xiao is writing novels, but I have never paid much attention to it.This guy has vests all over the place, and he's always being mysterious, cheating one after another. I always thought that no one knew him, but I didn't expect him to be so good.

After making the phone call, I came to the study to find me, and found that I was looking at his computer, and my expression changed drastically. I almost threw myself on the computer, blocking the screen with my body, preventing me from looking at it.

If you don't let me see it, don't let me see it, as if I am very rare.

He chased me out of the room, closed the door nervously, came out after a while, and asked me what I had just seen.

I glanced over his shoulder, hey, this grandson actually locked the screen of the computer, and the password input box was displayed in the middle of the screen.This guy is very nervous about his computer, and he refuses to tell me the password for life or death, and he must remember to log out when he leaves the room, as if he is afraid that I will find out some secrets from his computer.

He accused me of violating his privacy.

I rolled my eyes and went out to eat.

【62】

When I went to the bar in the evening, a large group of friends came over to toast and celebrate that Screenwriter Yan had finally taken the first step of success. That's why I knew that the work I posted was about to be filmed in a TV series.

I was inexplicably upset.

How could he hide such a big thing from me?At any rate, they are also young horses and bamboo horses, a friendship grown up in a pair of pants.Everyone around him knew about him, and I was the last to find out, what the hell is going on.

I punished him with alcohol.

After a bottle of beer was poured down, his whole face turned red, his head rested weakly on the marble bar counter, and he stared at me unblinkingly with his sideways face, his eyes were moist with moisture.

He pouted and complained: "You are busy getting married, how dare I disturb you."

He didn't say it's okay to get married, but when he mentioned marriage, I thought of Qiao Lihong.

So I started drinking too.

【63】

Everyone in the world says that getting drunk solves a thousand worries.

I am drunk.

Sure enough, I forgot the worries in front of me.

But an old scar burned on his heart was smoked out by the wine.

【64】

********** (The following are high school memories)************

I am a person with a violent temper, a rough personality, and a wild accent.

Most of the poor children who grew up in the slums were like me.

However, character is acquired and can be changed at any time.

Only this appearance was given by her father and mother, and there is no way to change it.

In other words, I was genetically destined to have a troublesome face.

In fact, if I could choose at will, I would definitely choose a sturdy shell that can match my powerful heart attack. What kind of muscular man or steel man, the bigger the better, I don’t dislike the King Kong Barbie model.

But in reality it always likes to play against me.

As I grew older, I had to discover a sad truth.

How the fuck am I getting taller and more obscene? !

I hate my face to the extreme, but the people around me don't think so at all. I still remember that most of them are "It's a pity that you don't want to be an international model", "Excuse me, are you the little fresh meat given to me by God?" Is it?", "It is definitely the face value of the future showbiz"... and other nonsense.

What's even too much is that there are still people who use my photo as their Weibo profile picture. In less than a month, they have managed to attract a large number of passer-by fans, and they are so happy that he is embarrassed in front of me all day long.

By the way, I almost forgot, when I was shopping, I was once given a business card by the agent of a movie entertainment company.The other party patted my chest and gave me a guarantee, saying that even if I don't have any acting talent, he can definitely make me the number one celebrity in Asia just because of my face.Tell me, I, a person who aspires to be a legendary villain of a generation, was actually encouraged to be a cute little idol who sells rottenness, tenderness and cuteness. Is this fucking plausible?

Hey... It's really sad to think about it now.

【65】

Of course, occasionally you will encounter provocations.They will imitate the movie Young and Dangerous to pose, dye their hair shit yellow, and waste half a bottle of pomade just to make their hair stand up like a rooster comb.There is really too much money and no place to burn it. Anyway, I don't quite understand their aesthetics.And the shoes are always only half worn, the back heels are squashed like slippers, and the hands are put in the trouser pockets. The head is always crooked, and he walks to me casually, and then greets me with his chin.

"You are Xu Xiaocao?" No matter what I answered, the other party spit on the ground, and then the leader would tell me that XXX female classmate is his girlfriend, and told me to stay away from her in the future, otherwise I will be careful. go around.

In fact, I'd love to tell them that I'm more than happy to see you guys than the girls whose names I can't remember, because it usually means I'll have a good fight right away.

In middle school, I was able to keep my "bully" title, but for some reason, things took a turn for the worse in high school.Not only was he robbed of his title, but he was also smeared by the "school beauty" for no reason.

The number of girls at school who secretly handed me love letters plummeted, but those boys who used to ask me to have a fight all of a sudden suddenly became cowardly overnight.Even asking me to go to the rooftop was not a post, but a love letter with a pink love sticker on it.

What the hell are you doing.

Why are all the boys confessing to me?

Really pissed me off!

【66】

I was very heartless when I was young, and I complained to him that the male classmates in the school collectively lost their nerves, but he actually said that this was a disaster that I could not avoid.

Ask him why?

He replied with a nonsense reason in a serious manner.

"Xiaoyanyan, do you know that you are actually the reincarnation of a thousand-year-old nine-tailed fox, destined to be chased by men, no matter how fast you run, it's useless."

I replied to him in one word: "Get lost!"

"You really don't believe me! According to this old man, your appearance, sir..." He imitated the posture of a fortune teller, pretending to touch my face, and still kept saying "um" in a cadence for a long time. Shaking his head and sighing, "Tsk tsk tsk, there is a charm in the evil, a hook in the smile, destined to arouse a pool of calm glances and countless peach blossom debts, but I don't know how to still be the free and easy devil in the world, careless all day long No lungs, until I met the nemesis--the handsome scholar in Qingshang holding an oil-paper umbrella."

In the end, he actually came up with a concluding comment.

"Through passing through thousands of flowers, I only take green peach blossoms."

Me: "...Are you sure you don't have heatstroke in your head?"

When my childhood friend said this to me, it was still a distant first year in high school.

After school that day, with this troublesome face on my face, I just finished fighting with a few seniors.

The evil spirit on his face hadn't retreated yet, but as soon as he opened the door of his house, he was almost forced out by the heat wave.

Just fucking!

When it was the hottest September, I even turned on the fan in order to save some money.

I thought I had entered the sauna by mistake, and the dry clothes I had just put on were soaked in sweat quickly.

This fellow was shirtless and hot, and he was quite embarrassing, but he could still pretend to be handsome, shaking his head like a student in an ancient study.

I originally came to borrow his homework to copy, so I rummaged through his schoolbag when I entered the room.

I found my schoolbag but not my homework, so I came out with my schoolbag and asked, "San'er, where's today's math homework?"

He looked at me meaningfully for a long time, and then replied to me with resentment: "Flowers are intentional, flowing water is ruthless, whistling play——sorry."