lose

April 2011

Tong Yanxing

Time flies, and soon the semi-finals of the photography competition will start, and the finals will be after the semi-finals.The day before yesterday, I received an email from the organizer, saying that my work had entered the semi-finals and I needed to go to the competition venue to prepare.

I think I should dress more formally, after all, it's Zhanning's photo.So I opened the closet, looking for a set of clothes, but the first thing I saw was my wedding dress with Zhan Ning.

I keep them where they are most visible.

They were two black suits, white shirts and green plaid ties.

Although it is quite common, Yan An specially invited a friend who is a fashion designer to come and tailor it for us.

I remember very well that it was around March or April last year, when Yan'an's friend Jessley specially took the time to come over to have a tailor for us, Zhan Ning seemed more shy than ever.

Because Jessley is a very relaxed Italian, after knowing our relationship, he kept teasing Zhanning, and even took the opportunity to touch his waist unscrupulously while measuring his waist.

Maybe it's because he has never met such a person before, Zhan Ning's ears are red all day long.

To be honest, I should thank Jessley, because I saw another side of Channing again.

After Jessley measured the height and size of the two of us, he teased Zhanning again until he blushed and left!

Zhanning seemed very happy, his eyes narrowed with a smile, and he said, "Jessley is doing well!"

I smiled and stroked his hair lightly.His hair is now so thin it's almost gone.

Zhan Ning pulled down my hand uneasily, and said embarrassedly: "My hair is going to be gone...it's hard to touch..."

My breath was suffocated, I forcefully forced back my tears, and then said softly: "It's okay, we can buy hats or wigs when the time comes."

Zhanning looked at me and nodded with a smile.

The nurse came over to give Zhanning an injection, and he started to feel sleepy after a while.I looked at him, and after falling into a deep sleep, I got up and left, came to the garden, and lit a cigarette.

It's not that I didn't smoke before, it's just that I had fewer chances to smoke.Ever since I found out about Zhanning's illness, I've smoked harder than before.

Maybe it's the need to release the stress, I don't know how.Zhanning's situation is getting worse and worse, but I still have hope.Because I asked his attending doctor.The doctor said that originally Zhanning could only last for half a year at most, and now it has been more than half a year, and he should be able to continue, but the situation is good and bad, if the situation continues to worsen...

I didn't dare to think about it anymore, and soon I went back to the ward after pinching out the cigarette. I couldn't leave him for too long.

After returning to the room, Zhanning was still in a deep sleep.I sat by his bed and watched him silently.

He was thinner than before, as thin as skin and bones, and his face was as pale as a ghost.

I saw his outstretched wrist, which was so slender that it would break if folded, I slowly grasped it, and there was actually a lot of space for his wrist on the big bracelet...

These are the hands of two grown men, how could there be such a big difference?

I really wanted to say something, but my throat seemed to be stuffed and I couldn't get a word out.

Zhanning was very well-behaved when he was sleeping, he didn't move around or kick the quilt, and put his hands on his stomach through the quilt in a well-behaved manner, and occasionally put one hand on the side of the pillow.

I don't know how many times I have watched him like this, but I can't get tired of it. Every time I see him sleeping with a smile on his face, I really doubt whether it was him that night...

That night, I went home to get some things and told him I might be late, but it was okay and I went to the hospital in no time.

As a result, when I came to the ward, I was surprised to find that the light was not turned on.

Did Zhanning go out?As I was thinking this way, I was about to knock on the door, but there was a burst of crying from inside, a small sound that seemed to have been suppressed for a long time.

It's Zhanning...

The hand on the door couldn't knock, I heard Zhanning's crying inside, but I could only stand outside the door, unable to do anything.

The fate of me and Zhanning...isn't it just separated by this door?

Standing outside for a long time, I waited until Zhan Ning's crying gradually stopped, and I listened for a long time to make sure he was asleep, so I opened the door and went in.

The room was dark, Zhan Ning was sleeping sideways on the bed, the tears on his face were still wet.I didn't turn on the light, bent down and gently wiped his tears, and sat next to him.

Zhanning...

I didn't promise him, is he afraid?

Although we are about to get married, I still owe him a formal proposal.

However, what is meant by frowning? I finally know now.

I smiled lightly, stepped forward and kissed his cheek, and whispered in his ear: "Zhanning, I love you!"

Hearing the sound, Zhanning just moved a few times uncomfortably, but didn't wake up, which made me feel even more funny.

I have to plan how to propose to him.

I have been busy for a few days preparing for the wedding, and I took a day off to pick up the ring that I had ordered early in the morning, and spent another afternoon getting ready, and finally I was able to take him to the garden of the hospital on the night of May [-]th.

Zhanning was a little angry, pouted his lips angrily, as if he didn't understand why I did this.

However, when I took the ring out, he froze...

I said, "Will you marry me?"

I don't know what Zhanning was thinking at this moment, but he was crying.

I know this marriage proposal can't prove anything, but I will be nice to him!

Forever……