Disgusted

This week has been very difficult for Liu Suen. The upcoming meeting with Sazhi is like a fire. The clock was going too fast, she was not ready for anything, she hadn't thought about what to say or what expression to show.She even considered going to get a haircut - she didn't know what was wrong with her, she was nervous and anxious, and she was in a daze from time to time.As a result, in the past few days, she kept making a mess of her new sewing work, and on more than one occasion she almost had a temper tantrum and had conflicts with other female prisoners.

And this was clearly what Kenny told her to avoid during the training session.

Su En has always liked the movie "The Shawshank Redemption", and also liked the original works of Stephen King. At the same time, there are a series of American dramas "Prison Break", and even the Hong Kong movies "Prison Storm" and "The Great Escape" in the 90s and [-]s. She I like to watch a group of people struggle and struggle within the walls, hope amidst despair.Now that I am personally on the scene, I realize how lucky those protagonists are. The lucky ones are not only that Xiao Shanke has financial knowledge, and Mike has the major of architect, but it just so happens that the prison administrators urgently need their knowledge assistance... and trace back En's profession is not as good as a domestic helper or a professional boxer here.However, one thing is true in the descriptions of prisons in those film and television novels: there is a strict group system here.And this division of groups relies on the most primitive criteria: race, language, background, age.

One-third of the more than 100 female prisoners in Macau Prison are from the mainland, more than [-]% are from abroad, and the remaining [-]% are locals. Conditions split into small groups.In the beginning, Su En reluctantly attached himself to the group of young and frail people who were born and bred in Macau—what a strange combination, most of them were fraudsters, drug addicts, habitual thieves, and economic criminals with relatively minor crimes... In short, they did not rely on Most of the strong-bodied types who rob and hurt people are petite and refined, but they are large in number and usually have relatives and connections in the local area, so they are not very bullied.Su En was an anomaly among them: she was too tall, her complexion was too white, and she had committed serious crimes, so those people were somewhat unfamiliar with her.

Su En also thought about joining the mixed-race gang among Macau people. There are only five or six members, all of whom are of Portuguese-Chinese mixed race. Turned over three foreigners and knocked out one of them's front teeth.It's a pity that Su En doesn't understand Portuguese. This is an embarrassing situation in which he is wearing a suitable evening dress but lacks an admission ticket.Marisa, who is half a head taller than Su'en, let it go: If Sun'en is willing to commit herself to be her "favorite", she can guarantee that Su'en's next sentence will be safe and sound.Su En was so shocked that he detoured when he saw her, and gave up his heart to join that powerful group.

It took Suen some time to get used to the prison night.At night, after the lights were turned off and the bell rang, the yellow light in the room was shut off decisively with a "snap", and the light outside the corridor came in through the iron bars. After a while, various sounds filled the dark room.Sometimes it’s the weeping of new members, sometimes it’s sleep talking—those brutal and hostile arms in the daytime are unloaded at night, and the guilt, guilt, and resentment are all wrapped up in the dream, turning into a few shouts or groans that break through the dream. .When the night gets darker, from time to time, there will be panting and moaning mixed with pain and pleasure. Voluntary, semi-forced, eight people in a cell, the panting sometimes comes from the next room, sometimes it happens on the next bed .Su'en felt like a small pebble lying on the river bed, he had to concentrate on holding his breath so as not to be swept away by the raging river.One night, she was violently pulled out of sleep by a sense of suffocation in her deep sleep. Someone grabbed her neck with one hand, and penetrated into her prison cloak with the other hand to squeeze her breasts hard. The pain was so intense that it made her brain It was blank, unable to scream, unable to breathe, and when even the consciousness began to slacken, the man's hand around the neck let go, moved down, and at the same time moved his mouth together, Su En smelled a stench of tobacco, she tried her best He grabbed the man's hair with all his strength, and this hand was firm and fast, until the man rolled over and fell off the iron frame bed and hit the locker next to him, making a loud noise.Several people were awakened, but no one made a sound, Su En struggled to half sit up and stood up on guard.The man probably didn't want to make a fuss when he saw that he wouldn't get any benefits, so he spit on the ground and crawled back to his bed.

The shame came after that.Su En couldn't fall asleep all night, and the goosebumps on her body couldn't be calmed down no matter how much she comforted her.She wrapped the blanket tightly around her body and shrank into a ball, her breasts were burning hot, and what came over her was deep sorrow and humiliated anger.She thought of the girl who grabbed her legs and screamed, how she had her right foot broken and said in court that she had done it voluntarily.That night, Su En shed tears all night, and even felt a dull pain from the trace of being scratched by the girl on her back.At dawn the next day, Su En realized that he had bitten the back of his hand into two cuts.

The next day, as if nothing had happened, she lined up to wash, line up to go to the toilet, eat breakfast, and participate in labor, but she firmly remembered the appearance of the man—a fat, short, yellow-teethed habitual offender known as "Fat Bo". □ At the same time, they sell drugs, but they sell K-boys and other □□, the quantity is not large, the sentence is short, and they go in and out of prison.This is her fourth or fifth time in prison, three days later than Su En's time in prison.

During the noon break, Sun En found Marisa on the playground and told her that he didn't intend to be her "favorite", but if she could do him a favor, he could give her a handsome reward.

That night, "Fei Bo" was beaten violently in the toilet cell with his head covered. All five fingers on his right hand were broken. He came back from lying in the medical room for more than a month, and Su En had been transferred to another cell.Then the whole women's prison began to spread that Su En became Marisa's person, and her background was tough and her methods were vicious - of course, that's another story.

After the night when she was almost raped, Su En quit smoking, and for a long time, no matter where she slept, she couldn't really sleep soundly, and she was still awake when she fell into a dream, and she would wake up at the slightest sign of trouble.She knew she was being slowly changed, irrevocably sliding down the sloping slope, but there was nothing she could do about it.Probably because of this reason, she was anxious and panic about meeting Saori, but she couldn't yearn for it herself.It seems that only by seeing her and overlapping her with the figure in my mind can I keep my normal side.However, if, just in case, Saori sees herself like this, she lets go of her hand... Suen can't imagine.Once upon a time, she didn't intend to let anyone take it to her heart.Su En didn't know which one she was more afraid of: being abandoned, or being slowly forgotten by Saori in the days when they didn't meet each other.

Suffering in this way, it came to Sunday.

When Su En was led by the prison guards into the visiting room with five other female prisoners, when she looked up and saw Sazhi standing beside the table like that, her eyes turned red.