not peaceful

In just a few steps from the study to the living room, my thoughts changed again.I lied to my parents that I hadn't handed over things well at work, and there were still problems left over, so I went back to the north without my suitcase.I left all the things in the apartment to the seniors who rented with me, called to resign, bought a plane ticket, and I thought it was incredible that a series of actions were done so neatly.

The senior said: "You finally decided to go home? Go home." He patted my shoulder as farewell.

I wasn't in the mood to answer him, I couldn't relax, I was tied tightly by a thread, and when I thought of what Ji Qian said, "Maybe I'm doomed", the thread seemed to get tighter and tighter.He didn't threaten me, I threatened myself.

For a moment I didn't even know what the point was, so what if I went back?Wouldn't he be finished?But my emotions just couldn’t calm down, I felt lost, and even after I fell asleep, I dreamed that Ji Qian committed suicide by hanging from a rope. There was a glass door between me and him, and I knocked hard on the door to persuade him to come down , he glanced at me, and then went to die without hesitation.

He said, "Brother doesn't like me, what am I doing alive?"

I talked about a lot of great truths, until my mouth was dry and I couldn't speak, but Ji Qian could only repeat the above sentence.

This situation was put on hold after I got on the plane home. The senior laughed at me for being too homesick. I only found out that I hadn’t even spoken to the senior for two days, and I was immersed in my imagination like a maniac.

At this moment, I ask myself soberly, why do I have to resign?

Because Ji Qian will die.

Why did Ji Qian die?

Because I imagined that he could not seek death or life in his courtship.

……

Anyway, I went home again.

Mom was startled when she saw me, and said, "I was just about to go out to find your dad, why did you come back so soon? Go inside and rest, and I'll make you a supper later."

I hummed dully, passed her and opened the door of my room, suddenly remembered that it was no longer my room, closed the door, and stood there stupidly forgetting what to do.The door opened again.

Ji Qian was a little surprised when he saw me. It seemed that I was surprised when I saw him for the first time. I passed him, walked into the room, and asked, "It's only after eight o'clock, are you going to sleep?"

He recovered and said no.

I asked without thinking: "Ji Qian, do you want to die?"

But he closed the door with a bang, and walked towards me. I pretended to stare out the window naturally, but he pressed me against the wall, with my back against the cold wall, which stimulated my brain by the way, and I recalled just now. I asked some heinous questions, and hurriedly explained: "I made a mistake and asked the wrong question. Don't be angry. I asked you if you are hungry. Mom said I will make a midnight snack later."

Ji Qian didn't intend to back away, I frowned and pushed him away, thinking that this would be too cruel, what if he really wanted to die, so I pulled him back, he looked into my eyes unexpectedly It was bright, and I coughed uncomfortably.

He said: "Brother." I agreed.

He said, "Ji Xian." I still complied.

I couldn't help being awkward, so I finally pushed him away and said, "Let me see if Mom is back."

Only five or six minutes have passed during this period, of course Mom won't come back, I sat in the living room and watched the show carelessly, Ji Qian sat on another sofa and didn't sit next to me, which made me cry in one breath.

Later, my memory was blurred. I forgot how I ate supper, brushed my teeth and washed my face, and went to bed. Anyway, when I woke up, it was a brand new day.