I'm not

My fingers stayed on the keyboard for a long time, typed several times, but deleted them all again.I stared at my input method, which is a simple system built-in input method, and my font is also the default font that has no personal style.

So boring, me.

The mood is very strange, as if a little for granted, but also a little wronged, sour and astringent, and relieved.I don't know if I should ask Cheng Xingjian, how did he know her and have WeChat with each other.

Is it because I met a friend, or met by chance, obviously in my life trajectory, they are separated - the most important thing is that she is very good, Cheng Xingjian is not bad, and even a little bit of a good match.

Cheng Xingjian is my elementary school and junior high school classmate, oh and university, she is my high school classmate.What's wrong, I never knew they knew each other.

[Are you there? ] Before I was ready to ask him how to ask him, he sent me a message first.

[exist.What's wrong? ]

[Are you free on weekends?I want to invite you, an old classmate, to dinner. ]

Um?I don't believe his nonsense about inviting me to dinner. He must have other purposes.

I didn't reply and sure enough he sent another message 5 minutes later.

[Well, I wanted to ask you to do me a favor. ]

really.

[You help me reject a girl... It sounds a bit scum... It's not that I don't say it, every time I say the word of rejection, she cries, I really can't see a girl crying... But I really don't like her.Please, as long as you help me this time, you will be my big brother! ]

[No, how can I help you? ]

[You can help me persuade her... or make up my black history, it doesn't matter to discredit me.correct!You can also pretend to be my relative and say that my family does not agree with me to fall in love. ]

What's in Cheng Xingjian's mind?Read too many novels?

[Why don't you ask someone else to help you? ]

[I am surrounded by boys, and I think you are very good at this kind of separation. ]

I looked at the three words "duansheli", and I was a little dazed, didn't I?How come I never feel that.When I recovered, I realized that I had sent a message.

[Do you know Bai Wanshu? ]

[yes.She is my neighbor. ]

It turned out to be a neighbor, so it means that after Cheng Xingjian moved away, we became neighbors with her. We have known each other for as long as Cheng Xingjian has known her.

[What's wrong? ]

[She is my high school classmate. ]

[Wow!We are really destined!My neighbor is your high school classmate - so you must help me!dad! ! ! ]

[All right.when will you tell meLet me tell you in advance, if others don't listen, there's nothing I can do about it. ]

[I will ask her out this Sunday to make it clear, please come and save me! ]

[Sunday morning, I have something to do in the afternoon. ] On Sunday, our dormitory will go out for a hot pot appointment.

[Observe! ]

I don't know why I agreed to his inexplicable request.Maybe it's because I want to know more about her, maybe I don't want to see a person's feelings without a clear answer, maybe it's because of the phrase "break away".

I suddenly realized how lucky I was, because by never speaking, there would be no rejection—even rejection from others.

Once again, I deeply felt my timidity, hypocrisy, and emotional weakness. I laughed at myself and had little sympathy in my heart.

I understand why I agreed to Cheng Xingjian. I want to use this to satisfy my feelings that I have never expressed. When I help him reject others, I am actually rejecting myself.I was subtly warning myself again and again-don't say it.

I did not love her.

If I say too much, I will think it is true, so true that sometimes I forget it.Just like wearing glasses for a long time, I can no longer feel the existence of glasses.

I did not love her.

Maybe my mind was confused, but I actually came up with the idea of ​​matching her and Cheng Xingjian. Cheng Xingjian is a good person, they should be a good match, and they seem to be destined.I was thinking wildly, I was giving up on myself, I seemed to be wandering in an abyss of half tears and half laughter.

She called me in the evening and told me about the recent strong wind in her place, saying that the clothes hanging on the balcony were blown downstairs.

"Oh really, why does our school dormitory have an open balcony, it's easy to drop things down." She complained.

"Can you add a layer of gauze yourself? It will be much better."

"We've already discussed with someone to install it, and it can also prevent small bugs—by the way, I saw Cheng Xingjian sent your photo, does he know you?" Her voice couldn't tell any emotion, but I became nervous.

"He was my former classmate. I met him today. He is from the same school as me."

"Ah, what a coincidence, he's my neighbor," she said, "So he's in the same school as you, and I didn't notice it before."

"I didn't expect to meet him..."

"He's a very out-of-the-ordinary guy, isn't he? I remember seeing him bring his girlfriend home once."

"Really, I didn't see that he is still such a person." Actually, I didn't really want to talk about this topic with her, so I started another topic, "How is your new home? Have you finished moving?"

"I just moved out a few days ago, and I always feel that the new house is very deserted, and I don't want to go back—I'm going to move out to live alone after graduation." I heard her indifferent tone, and I felt very sad, and wanted to hug her , but only to chat with her.

After chatting for more than ten minutes, we hung up the phone. Thinking of her evaluation of Cheng Xingjian, she didn't seem to be infatuated like other girls. I felt inexplicably happy, humming a song and went to do the laundry.

We're all right, aren't we?

Sunday, the sky is very gloomy today, the clouds are deep in the sky, and there are not many people in the cafe.

Cheng Xingjian pulled me here early in the morning, and I could see that he was very nervous. When I thought of his scene in school, I wanted to laugh, "I thought you were very good at this kind of thing. How did you reject other girls before?" children's?"

"I just, I just said that I want to concentrate on my studies and don't want to fall in love." He fiddled with his hands helplessly.

"However, she is really persistent. I have refused many times, and every time she will say - you must give me a chance to pursue you."

I couldn't help laughing, feeling that this girl is a very interesting person.

The door was pushed open, and a petite girl with braids walked in, looking around.

"It's her!" Cheng Xingjian's panic was visible to the naked eye, and I wanted to laugh even more.

The girl saw Cheng Xingjian and walked over happily, "Xingjian!" She saw me and gave me a look, but she didn't say anything, Shi Shiran sat down opposite us.

Only then did I see her face clearly, with curved eyebrows and a pair of round and full almond eyes, she is a smart and lovely girl.

"You're so pretty." I couldn't help but blurt out.

"Thank you," she was very happy to hear, her eyes curled up with a smile, "Are you Xingjian's friend? Don't be a girlfriend!"

"I'm not his girlfriend," I found her more cute, "I'm just a former classmate."

Cheng Xingjian wanted to interrupt, but didn't know what to say, so he just sat aside.

"Xingjian, why do you ask me out?" She was quite excited, "Are you finally going to accept me?"

"Uh... not..."

I interrupted Cheng Xingjian and told the girl directly - "You'd better not pursue him anymore, you will have no results."

Seeing the girl's suddenly uncomfortable and angry expression, I quickly opened the phone and handed it to her, "Take a look—"

She looked at the phone in shock, looked up at Cheng Xingjian's embarrassed expression, and tears quickly filled her eyes, "Xingjian...why didn't you tell me?" I took the phone back and comforted the girl, "This If he said such a thing, maybe you would think it was prevarication, and he didn't want others to know, it still had a little influence."

The girl wiped her tears and fell silent. Cheng Xingjian couldn't stand the awkward atmosphere, so she told me to persuade her and went to the bar.

What I just showed her was the kissing photo of Cheng Xingjian and a boy - when we graduated from junior high school, we went to have a dinner party and took it while playing games. I searched through the photo album for a long time before I found it.Of course I won't tell her this.

"Xingjian has never had a girlfriend. I thought I had a chance, but I didn't expect..."

Originally, I didn't plan to show her this, because I was afraid of bringing some negative influence on Cheng Xingjian, but when I saw that girl, I knew that she would not say anything, she is very simple and kind.

"Xingjian must be very difficult... The photo is not recent. Are they still together?"

"Yes...they have already broken up." I looked at the girl's flushed face, and drew out a few more sheets of paper for her, "You are so nice, go and like someone who also likes you."

"Actually, I'm about to give up too, but there's always hope," she was frustrated. "This feeling of not responding is too bad, you know? I like someone who doesn't feel for me. I'm going to give up. It's too tiring." I have been chasing him, like chasing an unreachable star."

"I understand, I like someone too." I said softly, "The difference is, she doesn't know."

"Isn't that worse than me, he doesn't even know what you like."

"I like her, I can see her, and I am already very happy talking to her." The first time I told others about this secret love of this invisible thing, I actually had a desire to confide, "I don't want to tell her."

"Ah, are you friends then? Does he know you?"

"We are good friends, we have known each other for three years." Her curiosity was cute, as if she had completely put Cheng Xingjian aside, "She is studying elsewhere now, we will call."

"What if he has a girlfriend? Will you still contact him?"

"Probably still, but not often - I don't want to be green tea, I don't want to spoil other people's feelings, as long as she likes it."

But she showed a trace of resentment, "No! If I were you, I would tell him that you are with your girlfriend! I don't like you now! This is the only way to relieve my anger, otherwise I have lost all these years in vain."

I laughed, "Maybe, maybe I will be like this when she really falls in love."

When Cheng Xingjian came back, he was at a loss with the coffee.The girl looked at him, raised her small cheeks, and said in a tone full of great pride: "Cheng Xingjian, I won't pursue you anymore! You have lost a lot!"

Cheng Xingjian was overwhelmed by the flattery, and repeatedly handed over the coffee he had just bought to the girl, smiling so much that he almost knelt down.

We sat quietly for a few minutes, drinking cheap but steaming coffee, and there was a quiet atmosphere for a while.

"I'm gone, and I won't see you again." The girl walked to the door with us, and after criticizing Cheng Xingjian, she said to me, "You have to find your own happiness and like someone who also likes you." Will learn and use.

The sound of rain came from the gray world outside the door.

"It's raining," Cheng Xingjian said to the girl, "Have you brought an umbrella? We both took it when we came."

"No!" She was a little worried, "I'm still far away, what should I do?"

"Take mine." Cheng Xingjian said.

"I found out that you are really stupid, and you don't like me, and you let me use your umbrella, do you want me to go to you again?" The girl curled her lips, "If you let me use your umbrella, I will I won't pay you back."

"Okay," Cheng Xingjian was at a loss, "you don't have to pay it back."

The girl snorted, took out 100 yuan and stuffed it into Cheng Xingjian's hand: "I bought it, and you made a lot of money, let me tell you."

Before she opened her umbrella and left, she walked up to me and whispered in my ear——

"I know Cheng Xingjian is not gay, I can tell, but it's a step down for me, I don't like him that much."

It turns out that girls still have this kind of wonderful perception?I was really a little shocked, and I didn't know what to say for a while.

"But I still want to wish you happiness," she distanced herself from me and gave me a deep look. "I am leaving!"

Watching her walk into the drizzle with an umbrella, her back gradually blending into the traffic, I whispered, you too.

Cheng Xingjian was very puzzled, and asked me with a little admiration what I said to make her give up. I lowered my head and said, "It's nothing, she doesn't like you that much."