hot fire

four

"We're going to the family cemetery, where all the elders who died in the family are buried." After getting into the car, it was Soren who spoke.

Qi can feel that Soren is probably the most "friendly" person in their family.

"Don't take the child's rudeness at the dinner table just now." Kate is the one who silently observes everything and observes everything in detail.

"It's okay." Qi said with a smile, and then she felt Xi holding her hand.

"They just want to make sure that the people brought back by aunt are the same as aunt, but unexpectedly, they are better than aunt." Xi quickly said in Qi's ear.

Qi suddenly felt embarrassed.

In front of people, they don't have much interaction, but when Xi can relax, Xi will always approach Qi proactively. Qi knows that Xi's silent little actions are Xi's way to let Qi know that she needs her.

Words are difficult for some people. They always express their unspeakable emotions through subtle touches or private intimacy; and often, those quiet expressions are better than what they receive from the ears Stimulating, deeper and more real.Because that is what they hold in their hands carefully and take risks in their fragility, and give each other their sincerity.

And at the moment beside Qi, Xi, who is holding her hand tightly, is such a person.

Not long after, the car stopped, and what came into view was like a scene in a movie.

"Let's go." Everyone followed Zai Xi's father.

Xi stood beside Qi, took a deep breath, and then followed everyone.

It turns out that the "family cemetery" is like this.Qi thought in his heart.

It is not difficult to understand why Xi said that this is not her home, and that the burden of the family is Xi's bondage; for Xi, the warm atmosphere makes her breathless; The niece's warm acceptance constantly hurt Xi, reminding her of her past mistakes.

"Thank you for your hard work. We will go home in a few days." Qi walked to Xi's side and whispered.

Xi turned her head and forced a smile.

The two of them seemed to be wandering spirits from beginning to end, watching the whole family do everything with a "ritual".Qi couldn't help thinking, do they usually live such a rigid life?How did Xi get used to it?

"Yu Xi, go talk to grandparents." After regaining consciousness, Xia Lei stood in front of Xi.

Xi nodded obediently, and walked to the tombstone alone.

"Walk with me." Xia Lei turned to Qi and said without asking.

Qi suppressed the displeasure in his heart and followed behind him.

"So, you've already told yourself what happened to you just now, so I don't need to ask any more." After walking for a while, Xia Lei spoke first.

Qi didn't reply.

"What does your father's order do?"

Is it a net worth check now?

"When my father and mother were still alive, they were the housekeeper and driver of a certain entrepreneur in Taiwan." Qi replied formulaically.

"Oh? They're all dead?"

"Yes, I died of illness one after another after graduating from high school."

"Is this why you want to be a doctor?" The person in front suddenly turned to look at Qi.

"Part of it." Qi met the gaze of the person coming without evasion.

"As far as I know, the tuition fees of medical schools in Taiwan are not cheap, what can you do?" Xia Lei looked at Qi with appraising eyes.

"I worked for three years, and I went to medical school after I had saved my tuition fees." Qi said, unavoidably thinking of "those three years."

"Well, so you are not much younger than Yuxi."

"Yes."

"Yes, you are indeed worthy of Yu Xi." He nodded as if he had received satisfactory information.

"Don't uncle believe Xi's vision?" Qi replied.

There was a trace of surprise in the man's eyes staring at Qi.

"You are very courageous."

"I don't know if you have the guts or not, and I don't care. I just don't understand why you don't believe that Xi has the ability to judge what she wants and is worthy of her." Maybe it's because the other party is not my elder, or maybe it's Qi At the limit of her patience, she said these words calmly but slightly annoyed, regardless of whether the other party was Xi's father.

"But she didn't prove that her choice was correct. Your appearance proved that she was wrong! Back then she fell out with me because of a girl, but that girl, unfortunately, was not you, Miss Luo " Xia Lei's words also revealed anger, as if Qi's contradicting made him angry.

Xia Lei's words seemed to want to anger Qi, or to make her retreat in spite of difficulties.

Qi knew in her heart that there was someone in Xi's past, and that person was not her. She already knew this. Although the facts from Xia Lei's mouth did hurt her heart; but she knew that she could not back down. Protect Xi and prevent anyone from using Xi's past to hurt her again, just like how many years ago, Xi protected her in front of a bastard man, just like her past.

"Am I that important? Is there no word "mistake" in my uncle's dictionary? I have never made mistakes, failed, experienced regrets, and heartbreaks. How can I truly appreciate and cherish success, and it is hard to come by? Your happiness?" Qi calmly answered, making Xia Lei's face even uglier, he had never been contradicted like this before.

"How do you know what happiness is? Behind happiness, there are more responsibilities, do you know this?" The anger in Xia Lei's voice became more obvious.

"I don't dare to say that we know much about happiness, but we tried hard to understand, and we stumbled and groped together. Can you guarantee that the happiness you want to give Xi is happiness for her? Or is it just to make your own happiness better?" Complete?" Qi responded sharply.

"Luo Kaiqi, you are so courageous. I am Yuxi's father, and you dare to contradict me so rudely." Xia Lei was annoyed by Qi's words.

"I don't care if you are Xi's father or not. In the current situation, your role to me is just someone who wants to use Xi's past to hurt her; I don't care whoever wants to hurt Xi. Absolutely not. Besides, the "mistakes" you mentioned have hurt Xi far more than you can imagine. Xi is already suffering. As a father, do you really want her to feel sorry for her family for the rest of her life? Let her feel that After all, I am a loser who was exiled by the family because of doing something wrong? If this is the case, I feel sad for the family. Such an excellent Xi is just such a unique trait, so you can completely negate everything about her. This makes me wonder, what do you value more, Xi, or the honor of the family? Social perception? Are these not more important than Xi?" When Qi said these things, his eyes were fixed on Xia Lei.

Xia Lei couldn't answer for a while.

"Xi is the daughter you grew up with. Don't you understand that she is extremely serious about everything? Once a decision is made, she will devote herself wholeheartedly. She never cares about her studies, work, or relationships. Haven't you ever thought about how a Xi like this would face mistakes and failures?" Seeing that Xia Lei didn't reply, Qi continued, "Is it really as you thought? Wrong. For Xi, the meaning of love The bargaining chip is never life, but the soul. If you fail, you lose everything. It will definitely not be cured by crying and comforting. Sometimes the wounds of the soul cannot be healed by anything. and continue to move forward. And now Xi, that’s how it is, can’t you see it?”

Xia Lei showed an expression of admiration, and looked at the girl in front of him in surprise, the girl he had previously despised.

"If all you value is Xi's apology, I believe it's not a problem to ask Xi to say it several times, then have you ever thought about what Xi really wants?" Qi's last question made Xia Lei fall into deep thought.

"If it's true as you said," Xia Lei said after a while of silence, "then prove to me that her choice this time is right."

"We will never know whether our choice is right or wrong, especially in love. The scale of love requires two souls and two hearts to be placed on it at the same time. There will be times when it fluctuates, but as long as no one Take it back first, and you can continue, but once one side is empty, the other side has no other choice but to fall. The beginning and maintenance of love are the decisions of both parties, and the end only needs to be agreed by one person. I think Xi also knows this Reason, I can't promise you anything, but I can assure you that I will never be the one who decides to end it, and I will never let Xi be hurt by anyone." Qi looked at Xia Lei firmly.

"Hahaha! I believe you won't let anyone hurt Yuxi. Even I, a man who has never been contradicted by anyone in the corporate world, was so angry and speechless by you. There should be no one like you. This protects Yuxi.”

"For the people you value, of course you have to do your best to protect them." Qi said it was a matter of course.

"Okay, just based on your words. Although I still can't bless you enlightenedly, I don't deny that I still hope that Yuxi can find a man to be with one day, but based on your words, I think I don't have to I am worried about Yu Xi. As a parent, after all, you still want your children to be happy, and you always insist that you are the one who understands them best and what is best for them... But maybe what you said is also reasonable, and you should believe it The children we teach know how to choose what they want. At this time, we probably can only watch from the sidelines. When the children grow up, they will always be released to fly.” Xia Lei finally revealed a trace of loneliness .

"But you should also have confidence in yourself, and believe that the children you teach will not leave forever. At least I know that Xi will not, otherwise she will not come back." Qi said as if comforting.

"Luo Kaiqi, I think I really want to get to know you well. You are not only worthy of Yuxi, but you may be able to do many things we want to do but can't." Xia Lei said pointedly.

"You mean?" Chang Qi didn't understand.

"Let's go, we've been away for too long, Yuxi may be worried that I drove you away...Although that was my purpose in the beginning." Xia Lei said and walked back with a smile.

Qi followed behind, thinking that maybe Xia Lei wasn't that annoying, but just didn't know how to express himself.

"Where's Kaiqi?" Xi asked the family members who were resting in the garden.

"Dad called him to go for a walk with him," Soren said, worried.

Xi nodded, walked to the seat everyone reserved for her and sat down.

"Worried?" Kate asked her.

"No, she knows how to handle Daddy," Xi said, smiling.

"Really? Aunt Kaiqi is so powerful? The person walking with her is grandpa!" But Sophia became worried.

"Why? Is grandpa so scary?" Vince asked after hearing it.

"It's not scary, it's...it's hard to chat with grandpa. After a few words, he starts to preach and explain the truth. Walking with him is more like listening to his speech." Sophia shrank her neck while talking.

Xi smiled, she understood what Sophia said, she used to feel this way when she was a child, sometimes she would get impatient and want to slip away, but...now she misses that time very much.

"Aunt, Aunt Kaiqi, is that your girlfriend?" Nathaniel, who had been watching Xi from the side, asked.

"Yes, yes, is she your girlfriend?" Sophia agreed curiously.

Xi just smiled, neither admitting nor denying it.

"Children, don't ask so many questions." Kate saw Xi's reaction and stopped the two siblings from continuing to ask.

"I just want to know how serious she is with her aunt." Nathaniel insisted.

"Don't worry, I know what I chose." Xi said, stood up and left everyone, and walked to the other end of the garden alone.

Seeing this, Sophia pulled her brother to follow.

"You two stay here, I have something to tell my aunt." Kate stood up and said, the two siblings looked at each other and sat down obediently.

Kate followed Xi's footsteps.

"What does Second Sister-in-law want to say to me?" As if knowing Kate's intentions, Xi took the initiative to turn around and ask.

"Is this the specialty of psychiatrists?" Kate said with amusement.

Xi shrugged and said nothing.

"Actually, maybe I should have asked about this a long time ago..." Kate said.

"I know what you're going to ask, it's over." Xi replied directly.

"I'm surprised, why?" Kate didn't give up.

"What's the purpose of knowing the reason? It's been so long, it's just a relationship, someone decided to give up, that's all." Xi said calmly.

"Yu Xi, who gave up first? It was her, right?" Kate walked up to Xi and forced Xi to look at her.

"Second sister-in-law, why do you want to know so much? What's the purpose of knowing this?" Xi obviously didn't want to talk more.

"Because I want to know what made you like this." Kate held Xi's hands.

"Yes, she gave up first." Xi lowered her head, staring at the hand held by Kate.

"Why?" Kate continued.

"I can't give her the future she wants." Xi said, and Kate could feel her heartache.

"What future does she want? Shouldn't her future be your future? Before Soren and I were going back to England, she still said that, didn't she?" Kate felt sorry for Xi, and her tone seemed a little excited.

"Second sister-in-law, people change, don't they?" Xi regained her composure. It should be said that she returned to her own iceberg.

"So, what is the future she wants?"

"According to her mother's wishes, find a man who likes her, is willing to love her, and treats her well to marry and have children. I really can't give her this future." Xi said looking into the distance.

"When did this happen? When I asked you, how long had it been since you broke up?" Kate seemed to want to fill in the blanks before.

"Probably... one year after you return to England." Xi said after thinking about it.

"No wonder you suddenly don't answer the phone or reply to e-mail." Kate said as if connecting everything, "Yu Xi! Why didn't you tell me? Why did you take it on yourself silently, and then spent so many years putting yourself away?" Tortured like this?"

"Second sister-in-law, for me, that incident was an unacceptable failure in my life so far. How could I say that? You understand me." Xi turned her head, looked at Kate and said.

"What does this have to do with success or failure? Why are you so determined? Relationships have never had success or failure." Kate said puzzled.

"Maybe, it's because I'm not good enough, not good enough for her to lose me, nor good enough for her to have the courage to fight for her family." Xi said, she could see that she had thought about this question many times.

"Silly girl..." Kate hugged Xi's shoulder distressedly.

"Second sister-in-law, do you know what embarrasses me the most?" Probably because the emotional box was opened a crack, and all the past that was pressed hard in it seemed to be released instantly, Xi took the initiative to say.

Kate shook her head.

"Three weeks after we broke up with me in tears, she was with the boy she had known for more than a month after work." Xi tried hard to suppress the excitement in her heart, and Kate was not even sure whether Xi had been with her before her. Anyone ever said anything about it.

"That feeling is like... I was thrown away like a rag, and then she quickly found new clothes, and I was still worried about whether she would be cold... How silly..." Xi's face appeared A sarcastic smile.

"Three weeks? Did she really break up with you because of family reasons? Are you sure?" Kate asked after hearing this.

"I can only believe that that is the only way to make me feel better... Besides, considering her goal—to get married, she is indeed working towards her goal. How can she get married if she doesn't have a boyfriend?"

"Yuxi...Actually, are you sad? Cry if you want to, don't suppress yourself."

"Crying? Why cry? The more you cry, the more you feel useless... I can only say that I was too stupid and young at the time, thought everything too simply, and overestimated my ability..." Xi seemed to be laughing at herself Generally speaking.

"Yu Xi...why are you so harsh on yourself?" Kate walked up to Xi and forced Xi to look at her.

"Otherwise, what should I use to face you? Because of this incident, I was expelled from the house. What else can I do except try my best to prove myself right? No matter how good I am in the hospital or how good my research is. , Dad will still reject me because I love a girl... I can even imagine that the person who came back with me this time is Qi instead of her back then, what Dad would think... At that time, he vowed to prove something, but in the end It was a crushing defeat that only proved me wrong..." Xi said at the end, her eyes dimmed.

"You are not wrong at all! It is never wrong to like someone, whether you like the same sex or the opposite sex, it is not wrong; and no one stipulates that it must be "consistent" to be right, which proves that there is nothing wrong with love, love has always been right, It's people who are wrong. People define love with their own ideas, which makes love lose its original purity. Yu Xi, you are never wrong. It is us who are wrong. We didn't support you, and we didn't do you when you needed it. It is a necessary process in life...Yuxi, don’t give up your ability to love again just because of a heartbreak.” Kate said looking at Xi who looked like her own sister.

"I don't know... If you don't have it, you won't lose it; if you don't start it, it won't end." Xi still looked into the distance.

"Is this the reason why you have always been reluctant to face your relationship with Kaiqi?" Kate thought of Xi's avoidance of the two children.

"Maybe it's also because I can't let the past go, and I'm still living in that shadow... It's unfair to Qi. I can't trust love anymore. I don't want to be the one who was thrown away again." Xi Xi Answer honestly.

"Yuxi, many things and injuries in life will not pass quickly, and may take a long time to pass, which does not mean that you must wait for those things to pass before you can move on; but if you don't move forward, you will never pass. Kaiqi is a good girl, I believe she will not do anything wrong to you, and she will not be the one who left you." Kate looked seriously into Xi's eyes and said, so serious that Xi had to dodge Kate's gaze.

"Maybe... let's go back, don't make them wait too long." After Xi finished speaking, she walked back without waiting for Kate's response.

Kate looked at Xi's back worriedly, and sighed softly.

After walking a few steps, Xi turned her head, "Don't let Qi know about these things."

Xi doesn't dare to seriously think about her relationship with Qi. Qi's confession many years ago is still deeply imprinted in her heart; even after so long, it is still so hot that she cannot touch it.

The past injury was too painful, which made her freeze herself too deeply. Qi's direct and unreserved confession at that moment, like a red-hot iron, melted through the cold ice, and burned her again with precision. A heart that never recovered.

Xi knows that Xiao Rong's departure has never healed her. Perhaps, she is still unwilling to admit that everything is over. The memory of Xiao Rong seems to have never been blurred for a second. We become each other's destination." When Xiaorong said this, she looked at her firmness, which was the key to making her jump into love; but that sentence, after Xiaorong left without looking back, also became She freezes her heart into shackles.

Because of Xiaorong, she decided to believe in love again; because of Xiaorong, she re-faced the truth of "commitment"; because of Xiaorong, she began to experience love and acceptance; but in the end, because of Xiaorong, she paralyzed all her "emotions" function.

Even the soul is gone.

Xi has become a spectator of the world, as well as her own life. She refuses to get involved in anyone or anything, and isolates herself from the world with a layer of vacuum.She is afraid of warmth, dependence, bondage, commitment... afraid of everything that involves heart and feelings.

She always thought that she had been used to "no feeling" for so many years, but Qi looked at her when he confessed, with the firmness of Xiaorong in the past, she couldn't bear it, and she didn't allow herself to collapse in front of Qi, so she coldly pushed away Rejected Qi, and then forced myself not to care, to feel those possessions and losses that always deceive myself that they don't exist... But that's just self-deception after all.

At the reunion on social occasions, Xi couldn't escape the excitement of seeing Qi again, "kitten", she just wanted to call her like this again, use the tacit understanding that only existed between them, and then wrap her needs for Qi with "warmth" , once again, they returned to the indescribable relationship they had before.Only this time, no one disrupted that balance again.

In fact, Xi looked down on such a self. "Coward" is no longer enough to describe his cowardice, and to a certain extent, he wants everything he wants from Qi.

Xi knows everything Kate said better than anyone else, but if there is no reason to face it, then continue to escape.

Anyway, I have already been in a terrible situation. If one day Qi decides to leave, it is also what I should bear.Xi came to a conclusion for herself in her heart.

When Xi and Kate came back, Qi and Xia Lei were already chatting with everyone.

"Are you back? Then get ready to go home." Xia Lei said to Xi with a smile. Xi was stunned by that smile. Ever since she graduated from university, she had never seen her father smile at her like that.

"Let's go, why are you in a daze?" Qi pulled Xi's hand, and Xi recovered and followed everyone's footsteps.

"What did you tell Dad?" Xi whispered beside Qi.

"Well, I should have taught him a lesson in my way, haha!" Qi's tone was like that of a naughty child, and the momentum of the previous conversation with Xia Lei disappeared without a trace.

In front of Xi, she will only be a docile kitten, but when someone wants to hurt Xi, she will stand in front of Xi, even if she becomes a ferocious beast, she must protect Xi from being hurt.

"Are you serious?" Xi asked, looking at Qi in disbelief.

Qi just smiled, nodded, and didn't say much.

"Auntie, Grandpa seems to like Aunt Kaiqi very much." Nathaniel walked to Xi and said.

Xi looked at Qi in surprise again. She believed that Qi knew how to deal with Xia Lei, but she never expected that Qi would have the ability to make Xia Lei like her.

"Grandpa and Aunt Kaiqi walked back together talking and laughing." Sophia added on the side.

"How did you do it?" Xi asked Qi regardless of the presence of the two children.

"I didn't do anything, I just said what I thought in my heart." Qi shrugged, as if this was a very common thing.

"You are amazing." Xi looked at Qi and said.

"Otherwise, how can I protect you?" Qi said very logically, but it made Xi blush.

"Will you protect aunt? No matter what happens." Nathaniel stopped and asked seriously.

"Okay, stop making trouble." Xi smiled and pulled Qi forward.

"No matter what happens, I will protect her." But Qi chose to stop and answered Nathaniel's question with the same seriousness.

"You promise?" Sophia stood beside her brother.

"I promise. I promise." Qi replied without hesitation.

What happened in front of her made Xi extremely uncomfortable. Those questions and promises were too heavy, and for her... they were unnecessary.

But the serious expressions and serious tones of the three of them made Xi unable to rationally and calmly stop them from continuing the conversation, and could only stand aside as a spectator, letting them talk about her.

Xi didn't like this feeling.

"What the hell are you doing? If you don't leave, I'll go by myself." Finally, Xi said this and walked towards Soren's car.

Of course, all of this was watched by the careful Kate from beginning to end.