A lazy bum transmigrates and marries a eunuch – it's awesome!

Qiu Er trembled for a long time after being released yesterday.

His father asked him what was wrong, but he couldn't tell him. The feeling of keeping a secret was incredibly painful.

Who would have thought that Xiao Yanwang, the dignified chief of the Eastern Depot, was actually a good-for-nothing who couldn't even handle his wife?

Dude, you're 28 already. Back when I was 8, my flirting skills were better than yours.

After the initial fear subsided, Qiu Er became somewhat smug.

In other words, the secrets of teaching people how to pick up girls cannot be shared with outsiders, otherwise he could be considered the master of the head of the Eastern Depot.

At the very least, they could be considered strategists or advisors.

Anyone who says Qiu Er is useless at everything and eats nothing left is simply not referring to his area of ​​expertise.

He was an expert at charming women; even the head of the Eastern Depot came to him for advice.

Young Master Qiu was absolutely confident in his abilities. He was certain that as long as Xiao Yuan did as he was told, he could win over his wife completely.

By then, he would have secured a powerful connection with Governor Xiao, and he would be able to walk with impunity on the streets of the capital.

Anyway, the places he went to wouldn't be frequented by truly high-ranking officials and nobles; his reputation as the head of the Eastern Depot was enough for him to suppress his cronies.

I heard today that the supervisor mentioned Qiu Erzui again, and he was grinning from ear to ear. He even thought about what benefits he wanted halfway there.

Qiu Er was surprised to find that Chief Supervisor Xiao's face was even darker than yesterday, and he plopped down on the ground.

Is it because they messed up and are coming to settle scores with me?

Good heavens, even after I taught him step by step, he still messed things up. Xiao Yuan is too useless.

Having already asked Xiao Yuan once, Xiao Yuan wasn't embarrassed at all. He concealed his awkwardness and recounted the events of yesterday to Qiu Er in detail.

Then, glaring at him with hostility, he said, enunciating each word clearly.

"Give me a suggestion to get through this, and I'll move your family to a better cell tomorrow."

"If Madam cannot appease you tonight, you will be moved to death row tomorrow."

Qiu Er was almost in tears.

Brother, are you being reasonable? What business is it of mine if you two are arguing?

If it's really my idea that messed things up, then blame me. You're just being stupid and have nothing to do with me.

Unfortunately, they could only keep their complaints to themselves, since the other party was in charge of their entire family.

After a comprehensive analysis, Qiu Er first affirmed Xiao Douzi's statement, saying that this matter should not be avoided and that it was best to actively admit the mistake and strive for a good attitude.

Secondly, you should coax her. Give her whatever she likes, cater to her preferences and give her what she wants.

A blush suddenly appeared on Xiao Yuan's face. "Madam likes me the most."

Qiu Er cursed him inwardly for being shameless before forcing a smile.

"Then, Your Excellency, you must be prepared to sacrifice yourself tonight."

There's no need to explain too much about things that are inherently unreasonable; just saying "I was wrong, I couldn't help it" is enough.

No matter what your wife says, just go up and hug her, kiss her, and don't stop once you start kissing her.

She was so engrossed in her lover's actions that she forgot to question him.

Women are the most emotional, and arguing with them about right and wrong is the stupidest thing you can do.

All principles and reasoning are nonsense; as long as you make her feel intensely loved, she'll overlook everything else.

Xiao Yuan frowned. The idea sounded good, but his wife was different from other women.

He was all serious, yet his wife was still kissing and touching him. If he were to take the initiative... he would probably be completely devoured by his wife in no time.

He's not ready to be completely honest with me yet.

Qiu Er seemed to understand Xiao Yuan's hesitation and helplessness, and said...

"Playing the victim is the most effective way to deal with women. Just find a sturdy belt and tighten your pants, and that will do the trick."

You can do whatever you want from the waist up, but when it comes to the crucial moment, you should call a halt and then play the victim again.

Don't worry, most women would be too heartbroken to continue at this point.

Xiao Yuan seemed thoughtful. "What if the lady insists on taking this opportunity to consummate the marriage?"

Qiu Er was speechless. "Then let's see how strong your belt is."

Birds of a feather flock together, it's true what they say, what kind of person did Chief Supervisor Xiao marry?

If your wife insists on continuing even though you've only taken your clothes off halfway, what can you do? You either give in or run away.

You, the dignified head of the Eastern Depot, can't possibly be forced into marriage by a woman.

Perhaps realizing his mistake was a bit foolish, Xiao Yuan awkwardly waved his hand and had Qiu Er taken away.

After sitting there for a while, he actually got up and went to the East Depot's warehouse.

Little Bean's mouth twitched as he watched his master select deer tendons, snake skin, and silkworm silk.

"Master, are you really planning to pick a sturdy belt to protect yourself from Madam?"

"Not that I'm being nosy, but do you intend to tie your belt in a knot or a slipknot?"

Xiao Yuan glared at Xiao Douzi with disdain.

"Idiot, what's the use of a sturdy buckle if it can be pulled open easily?"

Little Bean sighed and said very sincerely,

"This servant thinks your original belt was fine. Why did you choose silkworm silk and tie it so tightly..."

What do you do when you need to use the restroom?

"Madam can't solve it, and neither can you, can't you?"

After saying that, Xiaodouzi muttered something under his breath.

"Besides, what's the use of a strong belt if the lady gets angry and tears off her pants?"

Damn, that makes a fucking perfect sense.

Xiao Yuan silently put down the silkworm silk in his hand and turned to leave.

Go back to your residence; the sooner you die, the sooner you'll be reborn.

The timing of Governor Xiao's return to the mansion was quite opportune.

Jiang Xinyu had been training at the martial arts field all day, still fuming. Now she was finally tired and had someone fetch her some water to take a bath.

She didn't like having others serve her when she took a bath, so several maids stood guard at the courtyard gate.

Upon hearing that his wife was taking a bath, Xiao Yuan waved his hand and dismissed the guards and maids in the courtyard. To be on the safe side, he also locked the courtyard gate.

Success or failure hinges on this. If the lady doesn't buy it, let her give him a few beatings. Anyway, no one else will see, so it's not embarrassing.

But as Xiao Yuan peered through the window into the bathroom, he felt something was amiss. A towel was floating in the tub, as if no one was there.

Could it be that he overdid it after soaking in the water for too long and drowned?

Xiao Yuan's head buzzed and he couldn't remember anything. He hurriedly pushed open the bathroom door, rushed in, and reached into the bathtub to scoop something out.

Just as she leaned over the edge of the bathtub, she was suddenly hugged from behind, and Jiang Xinyu's sinister voice rang in her ears.

"Gotcha, you flower thief!"

The warm, soft touch behind him sent a shiver down Xiao Yuan's spine, and a tingling sensation welled up inside him.

But the tingling sensation was only halfway up before it was dispelled by the pain in his waist. Xiao Yuan couldn't help but grab Jiang Xinyu's small hand that was pinching him.

"Madam, I was wrong. Please put on your clothes first, it's...cold."

"It's not cold. I've been burning with this fire in my heart for most of the day and I'm just wondering where to vent it."

"My lord, what should we do?"

As she spoke, Jiang Xinyu walked around to the front of Xiao Yuan, putting one arm around his neck and drawing circles on his chest with the other.

At this moment, Jiang Xinyu looked as beautiful as a newly transformed fairy, her wet black hair hanging down her snow-white shoulders.

The blush on her cheeks, brought on by the steam, was infinitely alluring.

Her delicate white hands were still damp with water droplets, making Xiao Yuan feel thirsty and wish he could lick them off.

Even people who have never eaten pork will crave its aroma.

This time, Xiao Yuan did not run away. He eagerly pulled his wife into his arms, trying to fight for his legal rights.

I just didn't expect the roles to be reversed this time.

Jiang Xinyu deftly dodged Xiao Yuan's embrace, raised a flirtatious eye, snorted coldly, and returned to her bedroom.

Hmph, as if no one knows how to dodge.