The temporary judge wants to cultivate immortality

Li Zicheng's face was flushed with anger. He grabbed the last coarse steamed bun in his hand and stuffed it into his mouth. He then reached for Xiao Liu's bowl, but stopped halfway through, probably feeling a little embarrassed. He pointed to his own bowl and asked, "Gua Liu, is there any wine?"

Xiao Liu rested his chin on his hand, tapped the table lightly with his fingertips, and shook his head.

"Goose, go drink the wine yourself," Da Chengzi said, then picked up his rice bowl, lifted the curtain, and went to the outer room.

Xiao Liu watched as Da Chengzi scooped a bowl of water from the water vat and returned, while his own fingers continued to tap lightly on the table, only the rhythm was a little faster.

Da Chengzi closed his eyes, took a small sip of water from the bowl, and then let out a long, lingering sound as if he had just drunk some kind of fine wine, not just cold well water.

"This wine is delicious!" He slowly opened his eyes, picked up two strips of pickled vegetables and put them in his mouth, then took a sip from the water bowl.

Xiao Liu's fingers tapped on the table even faster...

When Da Chengzi, supported by Li Zicheng, staggered back to the east room, it was already two incense sticks later. At this time, Li Zicheng, his face flushed from drinking, lay sprawled on the cold kang, completely ignoring the bulge of his genitals peeking out from between his open-crotch pants.

Da Chengzi was not actually a person suitable for holding power; at least his rough and unruly nature already diminished his ability to rule.

He wasn't a good friend either, because he lied. His so-called reasons for the uprising had nothing to do with upholding justice. In the beginning, he deliberately borrowed money from the villagers and refused to repay it. He then killed the creditor, abandoned his wife, and fled to another province to live a carefree life. When he secretly returned home after the storm had passed, he discovered that his wife had been having an affair. That's why he killed two people with one knife and then wandered the world.

But what exactly did his wife do wrong?

A wave of drowsiness washed over him. Since recovering from typhoid fever, Xiao Liu rarely felt listless during the day, but today he was unusually sleepy. Just as he was lying down, leaning against the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed), a crisp "ding" sound exploded in Xiao Liu's mind. This sound was much louder than the one he heard last night.

Xiao Liu was startled and shouted with wide eyes, "Who?"

"The conditions for activating the Merit System have been met. Congratulations, host. From this moment on, the dual light of Buddhism and Taoism will provide you with the protection of all heavens."

"What's going on?" The voice came from Xiao Liu's body. Immediately, an image of a face covered in acne and a bitter gourd-like face appeared in his mind. Huang Simao must be up to something again!

"Because the host has had excessive contact with the Netherworld, the Merit System aims to protect the host's physical body from being eroded by Yin energy."

"That guy Huang Simao put you in my head?" Xiao Liu suddenly remembered the time Huang Simao slapped him on the head yesterday.

"The host possesses great wisdom and is truly capable of great use."

Xiao Liu tapped his fingers on the kang (a heated brick bed): "Don't flatter me, the young master doesn't need you. Just let me get a good night's sleep. When Huang Simao comes tonight, you'd better get out of my body."

"The Merit System is a spiritual object born from the dual cultivation of Buddhism and Taoism. Once you form a bond with it, it will protect the host for life, and the bond cannot be broken during that time."

"Isn't there a way to get rid of this?" Xiao Liu asked weakly.

"Yes," the system answered decisively.

Xiao Liu breathed a sigh of relief: "That's fine then. Go ahead and tell me, I'll apply for cancellation now."

"As soon as the host dies, the Merit System will immediately unbind."

"You bastard! Forced buying and selling? Doesn't the Underworld Consumer Association care about you?" Xiao Liu cursed.

"Host, warning: any abusive language will deduct one year from your lifespan in the mortal realm."

Xiao Liu was stunned and hadn't reacted yet when the system said again, "The count has already been completed, deduct one year of your lifespan."

"Your uncle!"

"Reporting to the host, two years."

Xiao Liu's fingers had already made a dent in the kang (a heated brick bed). His current thought was that when Huang Simao arrived, he would strangle her to death without saying a word!

"Fine, if you don't want me to swear, then I won't. But what are you doing inside my body?" Xiao Liu asked with his eyes closed.

"My lord, as previously stated, your close association with the Netherworld inevitably leads to the erosion of Yin energy. The mission of the Merit System is to protect your physical body."

"That's all? Then I don't need your protection. The lifespan stolen by the Yin energy isn't even as fast as you've taken it away!" Xiao Liu said with a wronged expression.

"Fame and fortune, gold and silver, fine clothes and delicacies, and beautiful lovers!"

Xiao Liu immediately opened his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips: "Well, just pretend I was talking nonsense. You don't know, I've always been weak and afraid of yin energy. My mom always said that."

"The Merit System does not provide such illusions," the system's voice slowly came through.

Xiao Liu slapped his hand on the kang (a heated brick bed) and said, "Go to hell! Get the hell out of here, or I'll drag Da Chengzi and we'll have sex with Huang Simao tonight!"

"Reporting to the host, six years of your lifespan have been deducted."

Just as Shen Xiaoliu was on the verge of tears, the system's voice sounded again: "The Merit System is blessed by both Buddhism and Taoism. On the day when the merit is perfected, it can transfer the host's immortal body."

Xiao Liu hesitated for a long time before asking, "I have a lifespan of over five hundred years, what use would I have for your immortal body?"

"Reporting to the host, five hundred years of lifespan is only the lifespan of the Yang. If the Yin energy erodes too much, the host's lifespan will only be a dozen years or so within half a year."

"I..." Xiao Liu covered his mouth with his hand, finally suppressing the urge to curse, and asked, "There's no such thing as a wife who comes to your door with her own property certificate. Tell me, what do you and Huang Simao need me to do?"

"Do good deeds, uphold justice, promote both Buddhist and Taoist teachings, and eliminate evil in the world."

Xiao Liu jumped high: "Human evil? You and Huang Simao are the greatest evil in the world!"

"Reporting to the host, seven years of lifespan have been deducted."

"That counts too?"

"Even those borderline cases count; the merit system has zero tolerance!"

Xiao Liu nearly fainted and asked, "What if I commit some crime?"

"At best, one will be covered in scabies; at worst, one's soul will be imprisoned in the eighteenth level of hell."

Xiao Liu almost peed himself, and said, "Wait a minute, is having sex with my wife a sin?"

"Of all evils, lust is the worst, the pinnacle of all evils."

Xiao Liu slumped onto the kang (a heated brick bed), thinking to himself that his life was over, and countless scenes of torturing Huang Simao tonight flashed through his mind.

But then he thought about it again and immediately asked, "If we have offspring, we can encourage more children and grandchildren to be kind to others. Surely that's not a sin?"

......

The system remained silent for a good five or six seconds before speaking again: "The Merit System does not provide a detailed explanation of the host's problem, so it can be done."

Xiao Liu's lips curled into a cold smile. He thought to himself that this system was completely stupid and single-minded. How could it possibly fight against the wisdom of a writer like me who failed in my previous life?

Unexpectedly, the system immediately added: "But the host can only have children with his first wife in his lifetime; all others are considered licentious pleasures."

Tears welled up in Xiao Liu's eyes instantly. What use was the polygamous Ming Dynasty to Xiao Liu?

After a long silence, he asked resentfully, "Tell me, young master, how many years of my lifespan did you just deduct from my lifespan?"

"Reporting to the host, seven years ago."

Xiao Liu suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs, "You son of a bitch, then let me curse you to my heart's content. From now on, I'll never be able to curse in the streets again!"

"..." This time, even the system was speechless.