Slaying God: I, the insane and witty god

"I'm... uh..." Wu Hen scratched his head, his mind racing, "I'm here to apply for the God Slayer position!"

The young man pushed up his glasses, his tone growing more skeptical. "Applying for a God Slayer? Do you have a letter of recommendation? Do you have proof of awakening? Also, why do you look... a little off?"

Wu Hen cursed in his heart, how come this NPC (non-player character) has such a high IQ?

It's not easy to fool!

He rolled his eyes and figured it out.

"A letter of recommendation? Do I need that kind of thing? I'm the chosen one, a man with my own halo! As for the awakening certificate... Look at my domineering aura, isn't it obvious enough?" As he spoke, he pretended to be deep and raised his eyebrows deliberately.

The veins on the young man's forehead throbbed slightly.

"Sir, please be serious! This is the Awakener Agency, not a circus!" She took a deep breath and tried to maintain a professional smile. "If you don't have the relevant proof, please leave and don't disturb us."

Wu Hen was about to be kicked out and was extremely anxious.

Suddenly, an idea struck him. He leaped onto the table, struck a one-legged pose, and shouted, "I'm not leaving! I'm going to become a God Slayer! I'm going to save the world!" He then imitated the crowing of a rooster and the sound effects of the characters in the game releasing their skills, muttering to himself, "Beep, beep, beep! Dada, dada, dada!"

Secretary Zhang was stunned. She had seen all kinds of awakened people, but someone like Wu Hen...

This is the first time I've seen someone with mental abnormality.

She opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but didn't know where to start.

Wu Hen was secretly happy when he saw that she didn't chase him away. It seemed that this trick was effective!

He struck while the iron was hot, jumped down from the table, and said seriously: "Actually, I am a master with hidden strength. My ability is... uh... mind control! Yes, mind control! I can control any living thing, including you!" As he said that, he winked at Secretary Zhang.

Secretary Zhang was startled by his sudden action and subconsciously took a step back.

"You...what are you going to do?"

Wu Hen smiled mysteriously: "Hey, guess?"

He walked out of the Awakener's Office and wandered aimlessly on the street, his stomach beginning to growl.

He walked into a small roadside restaurant, and the owner, Sister Liu, greeted him warmly: "Young man, what would you like to eat?"

"Give me a bowl of beef noodles." Wu Hen found a corner to sit down, eating noodles while looking at the surrounding environment.

While busying herself, Sister Liu chatted with him casually: "Young man, are you from out of town? You don't look familiar."

Wu Hen responded vaguely, but in his heart he was thinking about how to get some useful information from Sister Liu.

"The world has been a bit turbulent lately," Sister Liu sighed. "I heard a lot of monsters have appeared outside the city, and..." She suddenly stopped and looked around warily. "There are some things that little kids shouldn't ask about."

Wu Hen's heart moved. It seemed that Sister Liu knew something!

He put down his chopsticks and said mysteriously, "Sister Liu, I see you are a sensible person. There are some things that cannot be hidden..."

Sister Liu looked at him puzzledly: "Young man, what do you mean by this?"

Wu Hen lowered his voice, leaned close to Sister Liu's ear, and said, "I... am actually a God Slayer..." Wu Hen walked out of the Awakener's Office, rubbed his stiff face, and cursed in his heart: This little secretary won't fall for this!

It seems we need to change our approach.

He staggered down the street, his stomach growling. Well, he had to solve the problem of food and clothing first!

A small restaurant with simple decoration comes into view, and the big words "Sister Liu's Home Cooking" exude a sense of intimacy.

Wu Hen touched the few pitiful bills in his pocket and pushed the door open.

There were not many customers in the restaurant. A plump, smiling middle-aged woman was busy greeting the guests.

Wu Hen walked straight to the counter, threw a coquettish glance at Sister Liu, and said in a greasy tone: "Boss, besides delicious food, do you have any other...beauties to feast on?"

Sister Liu was stunned at first, then burst out laughing, wiped her hands with a rag, and said in feigned anger: "Young man, you have such a sweet mouth! What do you want to eat?"

Wu Hen immediately put on a pitiful expression and pointed at the cheapest beef noodles on the menu, saying, "Let's...let's have this. Madam, look at how unlucky I look. I must have had a rough time lately. Can...can you give me a discount?"

Sister Liu smiled and shook her head: "You are really interesting, young man! Okay, since you are so pitiful, I will give you an egg!"

Wu Hen sat down in the corner, took the beef noodles and started to eat them voraciously.

Seeing him enjoying his meal, Sister Liu couldn't help but ask, "Young man, are you from out of town? You look unfamiliar."

Wu Hen responded vaguely, but in his heart he was thinking about how to get some useful information from Sister Liu.

He finished his noodles, wiped his mouth, and leaned over to Sister Liu. He said mysteriously, "Sister Liu, let me tell you, actually... I'm a..." He paused deliberately and lowered his voice, "A reserve god-slayer..."

Wu Hen drank a mouthful of noodle soup, smacked his lips, and said in a pretentious tone, "Sister Liu, let me tell you, this beef noodle is rich in spiritual energy. It strengthens the body for ordinary people, and it can even improve the cultivation of awakened ones! You are... a spiritual chef!"

Sister Liu was amused by him and laughed so hard that her body shook with laughter: "Young man, you have such a rich imagination! I just made ordinary beef noodles, how could it be so spiritual?"

Wu Hen smiled mysteriously: "Sister Liu, this is something you don't know. I can see at a glance that you added the essence of 'Tien Shan Snow Lotus', 'Thousand-Year Ginseng' and 'Ten-Thousand-Year Ganoderma Lucidum' to your noodles. Most people can't see it!" As he spoke, he used chopsticks to stir in the bowl seriously, as if he could really dig out some treasure.

"Oh, young man, you really know how to joke!" Sister Liu laughed so hard that she couldn't stop. "I just put beef, noodles and seasoning in this noodle. Where do all those weird things come from?"

Seeing that Sister Liu wasn't taking the bait, Wu Hen rolled his eyes and changed the subject: "Sister Liu, things have been a bit turbulent in the city lately. I heard there have been a lot of 'cracks' and 'strange beasts' appearing. Have you encountered anything strange?"

Sister Liu's smile faded a little, and her expression became a little serious: "Fissures? Strange beasts? Young man, these are not a joke! You are just a child, don't ask about these things!"

Seeing Sister Liu's reaction, Wu Hen knew that he had asked the right question and felt secretly delighted.

He pretended to be nonchalant and said, "I heard that some awakened people specialize in hunting exotic beasts and can get rich rewards. I wonder if it's true?"

Sister Liu looked around warily and said in a low voice, "These things are not something you can talk about casually. Young man, why are you asking so many questions?"

Seeing that Sister Liu was still holding back, Wu Hen decided to use his ultimate move.

He suddenly stood up, hands on hips, and roared to the heavens: "Back then, I held the Xuanyuan Sword in my hand, stepped on the colorful auspicious clouds, slayed demons and monsters, and was feared by all! Unfortunately..." He paused deliberately, revealing an expression of grief, "Later, I lost my power..."

Sister Liu was stunned by his sudden performance. It took her a while to come back to her senses. She said with a smile: "Young man, are you...are you okay?"

Wu Hen wiped away his nonexistent tears and said solemnly, "Sister Liu, I need your help! Only you can help me regain my strength and save the world!"

Sister Liu shook her head helplessly. Just as she was about to speak, Wu Hen suddenly grabbed her hand and said with burning eyes, "Sister Liu, believe me, I really am..."

He leaned close to Sister Liu's ear and said mysteriously, "God's Chosen One!"