Journey to the West: Monks do not tell lies, they only rob

Guanyin's face turned pale. She lost both her wife and her army and carried the goldfish spirit back.

Before leaving, Tang Shan kindly implanted a positioning chip into the goldfish's body.

Of course, chips are not worth much.

An old friend broke a bone.

So she only charged Guanyin a symbolic fee of one thousand taels of gold.

Guanyin swore that she never wanted to have anything to do with Tang Seng and his disciples again.

The thing she regretted most in her life was asking Tang Sanzang to be her guide to obtain Buddhist scriptures.

The more I admired it then, the more I regret it now.

If Tang Shan knew what Guanyin was thinking at this moment, she would probably immediately take out a bottle of regret medicine and sell it to her.

It's the kind of regret medicine that comes in a white bottle containing vitamins and has the words "regret medicine" handwritten on it.

Will Guanyin, who is constantly being fleeced, eventually turn evil and become the biggest villain?

Please pay attention to: the dark version of the deadly Guanyin versus the crazy and arrogant Tang Sanzang.

After Guanyin left, Master Tang Shan and his disciples continued their journey westward.

Just as they were about to leave Tongtian River, a huge old turtle swam over the river.

"Holy monk, please stay!"

Tang Shan turned around and said: Wow~ How many bowls of tortoise jelly can be made from this tortoise shell...

I think everyone in the entire heaven can have a bowl.

When the old turtle saw Tang Monk’s bright eyes, he thought it was his own mighty figure that lit up the light in his eyes.

He thought that finally someone understood how to appreciate this thousand-year-old turtle.

Wukong was holding an iron rod, ready to hit the turtle with it.

Bajie and Sha Seng protected Tang Shan and retreated.

Just after taking away a goldfish spirit, an old turtle came. Whose fish pond was overturned?

"Great Sage, please don't fight. We are all family."

The big turtle was afraid that Wukong would really hit him, so he spoke first.

It turned out that the goldfish spirit had occupied his mansion, and he had to live in a corner with his family.

Later, Tang Monk and his disciples came and took away the goldfish spirit, and he was able to return to his home.

He was thinking of carrying Tang Seng and his companions across the river and asking them to help with something else.

When I got up, I found that they had already reached the other side of the river.

Suddenly, I was no longer useful and could only bite the bullet and try to establish a relationship with Goku and the others.

After all, there is still some connection between a monkey, a pig and a big turtle.

Tang Shan: I suddenly want to watch a real-life version of the tortoise and pig race.

Wukong put down the iron rod, "You better be in trouble."

Old Turtle: "I just want to ask the holy monk to ask Tathagata when I can become a human."

"Just like the Monkey King and Zhu Bajie, my requirements are not high. It doesn't matter if they are a little ugly, as long as they look like human beings."

Wukong and Bajie: What should we do if we are seriously offended and want to hit someone?

Tang Shan: You can fight each other, and I can pretend not to see it.

Sha Monk: The old turtle didn’t say anything about me, does that mean I’m a little more handsome than the eldest and second brothers…

The White Dragon Horse silently raised his proud head and said, "I have to say that among so many disciples, I am the only one who looks good."

Bajie put down his burden and walked forward, "Old turtle, I am not happy if you say that. After all, I used to be in charge of the Tianhe River."

"Get out of the way!" Wukong pulled Zhu Bajie away speechlessly.

I, the Monkey King of the Water Curtain Cave in the Flower-Fruit Mountain, haven't even said a word yet, and you, a pig-head, rush out to show off!

The old turtle's eyes were full of clear ignorance and innocence. I didn't seem to have said anything wrong, so why did the Monkey King look like he wanted to hit me?

Sha Seng and the White Dragon Horse each pulled Wukong and Bajie back.

"Brother, why are you bothering with an old turtle?"

Wukong and Bajie: Even an old turtle dares to call us ugly, now we are even more concerned...

Tang Shan took over the conversation with a smile, "No problem, it's just a small matter."

Talking is much easier than fighting monsters.

She spread out her palms and stretched them in front of the old turtle. Come on, give me a hundred taels of gold first to see your sincerity.

System: You are really omnipresent and never give up any opportunity to make money.

The old turtle nodded. The holy monk must be afraid that Tathagata Buddha would not know which turtle it was, so he asked him for a token.

It just so happened that the turtle's shell had grown a bit bigger recently, and a few pieces of the shell had fallen off.

He silently bit the largest piece and put it in Tang Shan's hand.

It is no exaggeration to say that the shell is larger than a 72-inch LCD ultra-thin TV.

Tang Shan's smile immediately fell when she saw what was in her hand.

You old bastard have lived for more than a thousand years, how come you are still so ignorant?

You don't know how to deal with people and the ways of the world. Is this the proper etiquette for asking someone to do something for you?

No wonder he hasn't turned into a human body after so long. I guess he doesn't know how to give gifts to Tathagata or use backdoors during festivals.

Tang Shan kept complaining in her heart, and the old turtle saw that her face was not right.

"Holy monk, is there a problem?"

Tang Shan: "Haha," you have a big problem.

Bajie pulled Sha Seng's hand away and started jumping up again.

"Money, money, money. How can I help you without money?"

"As the saying goes, you give me money, I give you happiness."

After studying for so many days, I finally have the opportunity to show my learning results.

Wukong, Sha Seng, Bai Longma and the others: Oh my god, he got it first again!

In order to keep pace with the international city in the future, Tang Shan also teaches her apprentices a few foreign languages ​​in her spare time.

Once we get to India, we can communicate in our unauthentic curry-flavored English.

Tang Shan gave Bajie an admiring look and said, "Well said, you are indeed a good disciple worthy of being my master."

Old Turtle: What happened to the saying that monks have the six senses pure and the four elements empty?

And judging by the tone and proficiency of this group of people, it doesn't seem like this is the first time they've done this...

Tang Shan: Do you want me to download a Journey to the West anti-fraud app?

System: If this thing really exists, you and your disciple will be the first to be blacklisted.

The old turtle asked nervously, "How much money do you need?"

It turns out that I have to spend money to buy a spell to transform into a human.

Tang Shan smiled knowingly, you finally got it.

"Don't worry, our fees are fair and honest. Take a look at the samples first. Different options have different prices."

She pulled a few high-definition, laminated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles postcards from her pocket.

The old turtle and his disciples surrounded him at once.

Emmm, is this about finding the differences in pictures?

Besides the different eye patch colors, these turtles seem...

Tang Shan waited for the old turtle's decision with a smile.

No matter which one you choose, it will be the most expensive one.

The main point is that all businessmen are dishonest.

The old turtle stared at the pictures. They seemed far from his fantasy of becoming a human.

"How about I think about it again?"

After all, it doesn't seem too cheap.

Tang Shan continued to sell with a fake smile: "Hey, don't hesitate, hesitation will lead to failure!"

"Think about it, four-legged turtles are easy to find, but two-legged turtles are rare."

"Things are precious because they are rare. Your wife must obey you in everything and keep saying 'husband' all the time and 'husband' all the time.'"

Bajie: But I wouldn’t get this treatment even if I turned into a two-legged pig?

So, what went wrong?