She's waiting for me there.

When I saw the scenery of the big city, my eyes widened and I nervously held my sister's hand. Is this the big city of my dreams?

My sister is so amazing that she can live in a place like this. By the way, I admire my brother-in-law even more, about whom I have a vague impression.

Soon, we returned to my sister's residence, which was an old-looking residential building, but the environment was much better than the village.

When we got downstairs, some old men and women were sitting downstairs chatting. In order to quickly integrate into the life here, I thought I should say hello to them.

But before I could say anything, these people saw my sister coming back and immediately turned half of their bodies away, whispering. Although I didn't know what they were talking about, I always felt that it was related to my sister.

My sister took me upstairs and walked into the house of more than 60 square meters.

"Qingning, you will live in this house from now on. Let's go buy some daily necessities for you later." My sister said gently.

I nodded vigorously and put the books I brought on the table obediently.

Although the house is not big, I am very satisfied with it. Compared with the abyss I used to live in, this place is simply a paradise.

If Sister Taozi could have run away from the village at that time, she might be living such a life now.

My sister has asked me about Sister Taozi's current life more than once, and I always told her some trivial things about Sister Taozi and me with a smile. Of course, these trivial things are not true, they just appear in my dreams.

I didn't dare tell my sister about Sister Taozi. She is already dead, so why bother making the living worry? I just want her to stay in my thoughts.

My sister took me to walk on the bustling streets and gently introduced everything here.

On the way back, my attention was attracted by a hairpin on a roadside stall.

This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, even better than the braised pork I had at banquets a few years ago.

When I asked my sister to buy this hairpin in a coquettish way, she was about to agree, but she hesitated after seeing the price tag.

Following her gaze, I saw the words 50 yuan.

I don't have much idea about money, but when I saw my sister's eyes, I suddenly realized that money might be a very important thing here. Even someone as capable as my sister would be stumped by it.

I suddenly felt a little guilty. My sister had already led me out of that abyss, so why should I buy these illusory things and make her embarrassed?

That’s right, as long as my sister is around, my future life will be full of hope. At that moment, I felt extremely happy.

This method of making yourself happy was taught to me by Sister Taozi. She said that when you encounter any difficulties, think about things that make you feel happy, just like self-hypnosis.

This method is very useful, but I wanted to tell Sister Taozi a long time ago that this is not self-hypnosis, but a way to keep people alive, and it is called - hope.

When I returned home with my hope, I felt that the second light in my life was slowly dimming.

The abyss in my life did not disappear, but shifted from me to my sister.

For the first time, I began to doubt myself. Was all this happening around me because of me, this jinx?

That night, I met my brother-in-law, but he was completely different from the gentle and refined person I had imagined.

It was also that night that I hid myself in the quilt again, and my body became numb with trembling.

I don't understand why he beat my sister. He treated her like an enemy and just beat her without any care.

There were bursts of dull noises and my sister's pleas for mercy outside the house.

I tried hard to calm myself down and rush out to protect my sister.

When I ran to the door, I suddenly remembered my sister's instructions.

"Qing Ning, no matter what happens later, you can only hide in the house, understand?"

I can't forget the pleading look in my sister's eyes, which is very similar to Sister Taozi's.

My body was like a puppet with its strings cut. I returned to the bed numbly and buried myself with all the quilts.

When I saw my sister the next day, I couldn't help but burst into tears. How could someone covered in bruises and scars still smile so gently?

"Don't cry, your brother-in-law is just sick. Once he recovers, everything will be fine."

When my sister said this, the fatigue and sadness in her eyes gradually faded away, and a hint of light appeared.

I nodded in agreement, but I really wanted to tell her that this is actually called self-hypnosis, and it also has another name - hope.

With my sister's arrangement, I entered a local high school. When I heard the sky-high tuition fees and the necessary monthly expenses, I realized how important money is.

But my sister smiled and told me to leave everything to her, and as long as I could get good grades, it would be the best reward for her.

Maybe I have experienced more than other students, so many things hardly bother me.

For example, mobile phones, games, extracurricular books, and those so-called suitors, I understand that these things have nothing to do with me.

Of course, apart from delicious food, my sister also knows my hobby and always buys some discounted ingredients to make something delicious.

Every time I eat it, I eat it very seriously because I don’t know how long I have to wait before I can eat something like this again.

Like that time when I got ninth place in my grade, my sister reluctantly bought me a box of mutton slices, saying she wanted to make hotpot for me.

When I heard the news, I jumped up with joy and returned home with my sister full of hope. Under my constant urging, she finally put everything needed for hot pot on the table.

I stared at the mutton that was gradually floating up, and was amazed. So this is what hot pot looks like.

My sister picked up a piece of cooked mutton and put it in my bowl. I swallowed my saliva, resisted the urge to eat it, and put it back in my sister's bowl.

My sister pinched my cheek lovingly and smiled happily.

Just as I was about to pick up the second piece of mutton, the door was kicked open.

My brother-in-law came back drunk and smelled the strong smell of mutton in the house. He immediately became furious and overturned the table.

At that moment, I seemed to understand a lot. Hope is nothing more than self-hypnosis, and there will be hope after self-hypnosis.

From that day on, I became even more indifferent, with only studying in my mind. Since my sister could take me away from that village, why couldn't I take her away from that scumbag?

Time passed day by day, and I witnessed what domestic violence was. My sister was beaten and sent to the hospital several times, but she was discharged soon because she still had to earn our living expenses.

I advised my sister to call the police, saying that if he continued to beat her like this, he would kill her sooner or later.

But my sister disagreed. She always believed that the scumbag was just sick, and once he recovered, everything would be fine.

Hearing my sister's persistence, I also had a glimmer of hope in my heart.

But one night, this glimmer of hope was shattered, the light in my world went out again, and everything returned to the starting point. I was still trapped in that abyss, but this time I had to send my sister from the abyss to the cemetery.

That scumbag came back drunk again and happened to find me blowing my hair in my pajamas after taking a shower.

When our eyes met, my soul and body were stunned. I had seen that look before. It was exactly the same as the demon who killed Sister Taozi, violent and unscrupulous.

I was so scared that I immediately ran back to the house, locked the door, leaned my back against the door and slowly slid down.

It was at this time that I heard his conversation with someone else.

He actually set his sights on me and even wanted to sell my sister.

I couldn't believe my ears, and I didn't understand why he would do such a thing even though my sister was so obedient to him.

That night, listening to the shouting and cursing outside, I didn't hide under the quilt, but stood in front of the window and looked up at the starry sky.

Perhaps because it was overcast today, there was not a single star in the sky, even the moon was blocked and could not emit a single light.

Self-hypnosis?

Hope?

The second light?

Ha ha.

So be it.

The next day, I went out very early, took a long detour, bought a bottle of pesticide, carefully wrapped it in a plastic bag, and put it at the bottom of my schoolbag.

Everything is about to end. I can't just watch my sister being pushed into the grave. At least I have to take the demon away from my sister.

That year, I was 17 years old.

(PS: I will update the next chapter around 8pm. Please give me some praise and gifts. Thank you for your support.)