She's waiting for me there.

Since that day, I have been seriously ill. Amidst my parents' scolding and cursing, I didn't dare lie in bed and continued to help with housework as usual.

I had no other choice but to keep telling my body that I must get better soon. If I didn't have the strength to work, I would probably be beaten to death.

Maybe it heard my prayers, and within a few days, I was able to run to the river again.

But this time I didn’t go fishing. Instead, I hid in the secret base that I found with my sister.

I curled up into a ball and leaned tightly against the stone, so that I could feel better and find a sense of security.

In September, I finally went to school, carrying out Sister Taozi's instructions.

But the school seems to be different from what I imagined. Why do those male classmates always call me a "skinny monkey" and a "money-loser"?

There are always people who put some insects in the plastic bags that I use to store my books, and they also grab a handful of dirt and smear it on me. The worst thing is that they hide the books that I treasure.

Whenever this happened, I would get so anxious that I wanted to cry, and they would laugh at me and insult me ​​even more.

But I didn't dare to scold them, let alone hit them, because Sister Taozi told me that going to school was my only way out. If I got into trouble at school, my parents wouldn't let me go, and that would cut off my path.

I spent more and more time in the secret base, and it became my second home.

I picked up a branch and dug in the ground with all my strength, but my strength was still too weak and I could only dig out a little bit of soil at a time.

I didn’t dare take the tools out of the house, for fear that they would find out and destroy my only psychological comfort.

Gradually I came to understand one thing: when you are being bullied, as long as you pretend not to care and become a little colder, those people will find it boring and they will disperse before long.

But why doesn't this method work at home? When my parents beat me, from begging for mercy at the beginning to remaining silent at the end, the number and severity of the beatings did not decrease.

Every time I went to school with a bruised face, I would be laughed at by my classmates. Then I would continue to pretend to be cold and indifferent. It seemed like a perfect closed loop, bringing my life from one darkness to another.

As time went by, I came into contact with more and more knowledge and learned a word - Möbius strip.

At that moment, I seemed to understand a lot. Isn’t this what my life is like?

Home is the starting point and school is the end point. They are closely connected to form a perfect closed loop.

And I am a walking black dot in the Möbius strip, always going through an infinite cycle in it.

There is no hope at all.

There is no light to illuminate at all.

Spring goes and autumn comes, and the days pass one by one. The only thing I am thankful for is that I have dug the pit in the secret base very deep, enough for me to lie in it.

In order to be more comfortable, I found a lot of hay and spread it on top, then lay down. There was mud all around me, which made me feel inexplicably at peace. I really wanted to lie there like this forever.

In order to fulfill my dream, I found a piece of stone and carved a few words on the top of my head.

The stone was very sharp and left several wounds on my hands. I shook off the blood without caring, looked at my masterpiece, and nodded with satisfaction.

That day, I was very happy, as if I had accomplished something great.

If I succeed, I won't have to trouble Qing Anfu and Zhang Guifang anymore. After all, it's very tiring for them to beat me.

It wasn't until the year I graduated from junior high school that the trajectory of my life changed again.

When I got home from school that day, I saw Qing Anfu and Zhang Guifang sitting in the yard chatting with someone.

The moment the man turned around, I was stunned.

At that moment, my body and soul seemed to have wandered into another world. I couldn't contact them at all and completely stopped thinking.

After a long time, Qing Anfu's shout woke me up: "Qing Ning, what are you thinking about? This is your brother Qing Hu."

What? Brother Qinghu?

Isn't he that demon? I'll never forget that face. It appeared in my dreams countless times, and eventually became a nightmare.

Why did he appear here? Is he going to eat my soul up and throw it into that dry well?

I was scared. For the first time, I felt that the past ten years had been very happy. At least I didn't meet this devil like Sister Taozi and was tortured to death by him.

I ran back to the house like crazy, locked the door, and buried myself in the quilt. My body was no longer trembling because it was so numb that I couldn't feel it anymore.

That night, Qing Anfu drank a lot of wine, but he didn't hit me. Instead, he showed his big yellow teeth and counted the 5 yuan over and over again.

I knew that I was sold, sold to that devil, who bought the rest of my life with that bed full of cash.

I thought of countless ways to escape, but I rejected them all. Sister Taozi's soul-deprived appearance has always lingered in my mind.

The next day, I cried and borrowed a cell phone from my teacher. I thought about it all night and realized that only my sister could save me.

We sisters have rarely been in contact over the years. I can only say a few words when Qing Anfu calls her, and then he will let me hang up on the phone because the phone bill is too expensive.

Except for the time she came back the year she got married, I never saw her again.

I can understand that life in a big city is very stressful, and if you always ask for leave, you will be fired by your boss.

And seeing that my brother-in-law is gentle and refined, they must be living a happy life.

Therefore, I seldom bother them, as I don’t want to drag them into my dark life.

As for the promises my sister made when she left, I have long forgotten them.

I don't blame her because I know that if my sister had the ability to take me in, she wouldn't hesitate at all.

I told her the whole story of being sold. There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long time. All I could hear was a "creaking" sound in the receiver, as if something was trying to crush the phone.

"Qing Ning, tomorrow night after mom and dad fall asleep, go to the secret base and wait for me. I'll pick you up. Remember..."

I couldn’t hear what was said after that. Hope came so quickly that it was like a dream. I couldn’t say a word. I didn’t care whether my sister could see me or not. I just kept nodding while crying.

That day felt very long. When I got home in the evening, I was very obedient and helped Zhang Guifang with the work. I couldn't make any mistakes today, so I was extra careful.

Never let yourself be beaten. If you are beaten and cannot get up, your last hope will be shattered.

This feeling continued until I lay in bed, and I couldn't help but feel secretly happy that God still favored me and everything was going so smoothly.

The night sky at this time is like a deep and thick black curtain, below the curtain are towering and continuous mountains, and hundreds of small houses at the foot of the mountains are lined up, forming a secluded village.

I stood next to the secret base, looking up at the starry sky, and my heart was filled with joy. Am I finally going to leave this abyss?

The moment my sister saw me, she ran over and hugged me tightly in her arms, saying "I'm sorry" with a sob.

I smiled and patted her back, silly sister, how could I blame you? I can't bear to let you go, because you are the second light in my life.

My sister took my hand and walked out of the mountain.

I looked back at the secret base and two dimples appeared on my face.

Goodbye, my coffin.

Goodbye, Lime Grave.

It seems that you guys don’t need to fulfill my dream, because I want to pursue the hope of the second half of my life, carrying out Sister Taozi’s instructions.

"Little Qing Ning, no matter what time it is, you must be full of hope in your heart, okay?"

That year, I was 15 years old.