I am an emotional anchor, one sentence can break the defense of the whole network

Chapter 206 Remember, Children Are Just One of Your Many Roles
The girl finished speaking.

The barrage was broken.

"Oh my God, someone please save her, she needs to live well, she is only 15 years old, her life has not even started yet (crying to death)."

"Why are there such terrible parents in the world who don't love their own children? Who will save her?"

"I feel so sorry for her. I really do."

“Why is this world so unfair (angry)?”

"My own father stabbed me with a kitchen knife. I went to the hospital at 3:00 in the morning to get some stitches. Many years later, he asked me how I got the scar (bitter smile)."

My god, it's so suffocating!

"I was pulling a suitcase by myself. I spent 38 RMB of my 6.5 RMB on the bus to the city. I looked at all the restaurants and asked every one of them if they could keep me. They would ask for less salary. I slept on park benches and public toilets. I had to eat a steamed bun for several meals. Who knows how I survived? I will never forgive him."

Brother, you have become a god now
admire!

"It must have taken a long time for the baby to be able to say these (hug)."

"This answer warms my heart (burst into tears)."

"That day my dad pulled my hair and dragged me from the toilet to the door, asking me to pay back the money he had spent on my schooling over the years. This is my dad (no hope in life)."

"Don't do anything stupid, sister, it's not worth it!"

"You can't do this. Don't ruin yourself."

"Baby, run."

"Little fish, little fish, swim fast, freedom is all around you."

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: "Sister, look at the comments, do you think you are the only one having a hard time?

You really think too much.

You are not so lucky that God makes things difficult for you alone.

When you feel that life is too hard, there are still people who try their best just to survive.

Have you been to the hospital?
Have you ever seen suffering?

Didn’t you see it?
Come,
Today I will tell you what suffering is.

The two-year-old baby was diagnosed with heart disease at birth and stayed in the ICU for more than a year with tubes inserted all over his body.
6 central veins, 1 infusion tube, 7 holes in the little body,

Severe pneumonia caused the baby's brain to completely shrink.
The poor mother didn't want her child to suffer, so she pulled out the child's oxygen tube with tears in her eyes.

When the oxygen tube was pulled out, the child burst into tears and soon began to tremble all over, then turned purple.

The mother broke down and cried while holding her child, calling her son non-stop.

Until the child is gone,

She didn't even hear the child call her mother.

His father died in a car accident, his mother remarried, and the five-year-old boy was hospitalized with an IV and sent specimens by himself.

The doctor asked him where his parents were, and the boy said calmly that his father was dead and his mother didn't want him anymore.

There was no emotion in his voice. He was only 5 years old, but already there was a bit of happiness and innocence on his face.

A seven-year-old girl had malignant tumors all over her body. She underwent four surgeries. The pain was unbearable and her screams of agony echoed throughout the ward.

The eight-year-old boy fell into a coma due to internal bleeding and his blood was replaced three times.

There is a special ward in the Eighth People's Hospital of Shanghai, where abandoned children live.
Some were just born, some were already in their teens, with malignant tumors and paralyzed legs. . . ”

After Lin Feng finished speaking, the girl fell silent.

Raymond Lam: "Sister, I am not saying this to underestimate your suffering, nor am I saying that others must be suffering more than you.

Because pain cannot be compared.

I just want you to understand that the difficulties in life are shared by all living beings. This is not a movie but reality.

There are too many people born in the abyss. If you don’t want to die in the abyss, you can only strive to climb up.”

Lin Feng paused.
He continued, “We have talked enough about suffering, now let me solve your confusion.

Don't you just can't understand why your parents don't love you?
I’ll give you the answer today.”

Lin Feng waved behind him, Yu Huanshui quickly pulled the large whiteboard closer, and handed Lin Feng a pen.

Lin Feng took it, turned around and walked to the whiteboard and quickly wrote four big words: "Generational inheritance."

What is intergenerational inheritance?

Psychologically speaking, if parents have their own traumas in their original families, they will unconsciously pass these traumas on to their children.
To put it bluntly, it is passed on from grandparents to parents, and then from parents to children. If the children cannot get over it, it will be passed on to their grandchildren, and it will become a family curse.

Psychologically, when a person experiences severe trauma and is unable to repair it, the trauma will be passed on to the next generation like their genes.
Eventually compulsive repetition develops.

For example, if you have an anxious mother, you will find that the children she raises are all insecure.

For example, after entering society, this child will most likely be afraid and feel inferior. Even if he enters into an intimate relationship, he will still be anxious and uneasy. He will constantly seek love and recognition from others throughout his life, worrying about gains and losses.

For example, some parents have a strong memory for people and tend to make malicious assumptions about others.
Then his children are likely to have copied this hostile relationship pattern since childhood, even if the children themselves realize that their parents' ideas are too extreme.
But when children grow up, they still find it difficult to trust others, are accustomed to being suspicious in close relationships, and are very likely to conflict with others.
This led to the breakdown of a relationship that was originally very good.

There are also those fathers who are accustomed to domestic violence. Their sons tend to use violence to solve problems when they grow up.

Even if they can restrain themselves most of the time, once they lose control, they are very likely to attack their family members.

So I often tell you that when choosing a spouse, you must look at the other person's family of origin.

This is because if a person does not awaken from the karma of his original family, then he will not be able to change his own destiny.
He will continue to be trapped by fear, anxiety, inferiority, violence and other obsessions, and he will be unable to move.
Here is a statistic: within three generations of a family, there will be a stubborn child.

This child is rebellious, stubborn, and disobedient.

But this child is often the one most likely to help the family achieve a class leap.

Because only such children would betray their original families.
Only then can you cut off the karmic inheritance of your original family with your own hands. "

. . . . .

On the barrage.

"Generational Inheritance" and "Family Curse"

Ha ha,

So this is ah!

Enlightenment.

"I told myself since I was little that I would not marry someone like my father, and I would not become someone like my mother."

"I'm afraid of marrying someone like my father, I'm afraid of becoming someone like my mother, I'm afraid my children will be like me."

"But my own children are like me after all (sigh)."

"It's really despairing. When you are particularly annoyed by a certain point in your parents, suddenly one day you find that you have inherited this trait."

“Then you’ll feel really disgusted with yourself.”

“It’s very real. I was influenced without even realizing it.”

Hey

"I don't have such a strong spiritual core, and I can't change myself. The only thing I can do is not to have children, and I have successfully cut off the family karma inheritance."

"But you are kind."

"I'm also single and childless, and I don't have anything good to pass on with my genes (bitter smile)."

"Yes, same idea."

"What's funny is that parents still ask themselves why they don't want children (I give in)?"

"The greatest self-discipline for adults is not to have children randomly. If you yourself cannot feel a strong sense of happiness, you must not have children randomly. Of course, if you argue, then you are right."

Hahahahaha.

"I am the stubborn one, and my parents, relatives and friends all call me a disobedient and unfilial child. But after I left my family, I am living a very good life, free and happy, and I am very satisfied with myself."

“Being satisfied with yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. Those low-level people just go with the flow and don’t have the courage to face their true selves.”

"Congratulations on your new life. This requires tremendous repression and courage."

. . . . .

Raymond Lam: "How do we break the intergenerational inheritance? There must be a generation that, in the process of growing up, due to excessive pain, actively seeks a way to get rid of it and is willing to improve themselves. This is called self-healing.

But many people may find self-healing too difficult, and have tried to communicate with their parents countless times, but all have come to nothing.

In fact, what you are doing is not called self-healing.

Self-healing must be sought within, not outward.

So whether you communicate with your parents by blaming or resenting them, or by chatting with them,
In essence, it means that you hope your parents can raise you again and love you again.

This is called healing others.

And the result is bound to be irreparable.

Because the karma of the parents' family is deep in their bones, it cannot be awakened. So what is self-healing?

To be more realistic, it means betraying one's original family.

How to betray?

The first step is to stop thinking of your parents as pathetic.

remember,

Your parents' suffering has nothing to do with you.

Your parents' hard life has nothing to do with you.

Your parents' bad relationship has nothing to do with you.

It has nothing to do with you means that these problems are not caused by you, you don’t need to rush to solve them, and you don’t need to feel guilty, blame yourself, or kidnap yourself for these things.

Yes,

Many parents have had a rough life and have suffered a lot.

But these are all caused by the countless choices they have made, and are their own life lessons.
Don't let yourself be kidnapped easily just because they say it's all for your sake.

Can they reach the pinnacle of life without you?

Their parents' emotional discord and marital crisis are their own business.

The children have grown up, but they still can't handle their marriage properly, and they still use their children as an excuse. This is the real problem.
So why should you blame yourself for this?

You must remember that you are the protagonist of your life.

Being their child is just one of your many roles.

Whether parents' lives are good or bad, they are all their own choices and results.
You are their child, but you are not their emotional trash can or a pawn to be controlled. Your own life should not be dragged down by their fate.

Love them and care about them, but that doesn't mean you have to bear their fate.

There are thousands of ways to express your love and gratitude, but the worst thing is to sacrifice your own life to take on their responsibilities."

. . . . .

On the barrage

"Remember that you are the protagonist of your life"

"As Their Children" "Just One of Your Many Roles"

Oh my god,

aweason!
"In conclusion, don't try to change your parents, don't expect redemption, only self-improvement and self-redemption are most useful."

"But some parents will keep calling you, always wanting you to know their pain, always wanting you to get involved. Every time I'm happy, my mom calls me to tell me about her grievances, and I suddenly feel unhappy and collapse. I don't understand why it's like this every time."

"I feel like I'm going to collapse now. Every time I see my mom calling me or sending me a video, I suddenly feel really upset and upset."

"I've been broken by being forced to indoctrinate them."

"I broke free, but I was called cold-blooded, heartless, ignorant, and an ungrateful person."

"Help, it's true."

"My irresponsible father, my complaining mother, and my hysterical self are like a mad woman at home."

"It was too painful and depressing. My mother said she didn't know who to talk to, but she never thought about how sad I felt when I heard these words. They will never know how much trauma their broken marriage has caused to their children. I have been trying hard to get rid of this kind of life, so why is he still following me and trying to pull me back into the vortex?"

"My whole family is using moral blackmail. If I could, I really don't want to be born."

. . . . .

Raymond Lam: “The second step to self-healing is independence.

I tell you, the best way to get out of your family of origin is to be independent.

If you cry and complain about the pain of your original family,

But at the same time, they can’t escape from the roof under which they live together, and the comfort of having two meals a day.
Then I tell you, your soul can never belong to you,

Being kidnapped by our original families when we were minors is a past that we have no choice over.
If you are still held hostage by your family of origin when you grow up, it is your own choice to become a giant baby.
Don’t use the fact that I’m still young as an excuse to escape and be cowardly. Even though they have hurt me, it was only in the way they did it.

How many people still live with their parents? If you don't even have the courage to leave the environment where you live with them,
Your life will continue in this bad mode.

why?
Because I heard that your education, knowledge, and vision are far inferior to your elders. Don't you think it's ridiculous to teach you how to grow and how to learn?
Listen to two people who may have never met true love in their lives teaching you how to face love and how to manage marriage. With such influence and interference, how can you talk about controlling your own life?

Those injuries you have suffered, the wounds that are difficult to heal, will not heal under the same circumstances.

Only by taking the initiative to leave your original family can you create a good living environment.

Take the initiative to deprive them of the right to interfere with and control you, and choose the way of growth you like.

Only then can you build relationships that make you happy in your own space.

Your brain will have the space to heal the scars of your past.

Again,
The prerequisite for spiritual independence is always material independence. "

. . . . .

On the barrage

"Who wants to run away from home together?"

"I'm going to college soon, and I don't plan to go home during holidays. Anyway, there's nothing worth remembering, so I'll just leave it at that."

"I must study hard and get out of this family of origin."

"I moved out, and they told everyone that I ran away with someone else (crying to death)."

"Don't worry about them, they will take control of you in the future. Develop yourself well. You will have confidence if you have your own career."

"I want to escape from my family of origin, but I can't let it go. It's good at one moment, and bad at another."

"I am the same. It is so painful that I am wasting my time and trying to heal myself. Sometimes I feel relieved and sometimes I don't."

The stream flows: "The original family is not a momentary rainstorm, but a lifetime of moisture."

Because there is sunshine after the heavy rain, but it is always cloudy due to humidity.

Oh my god, this sentence is killing me!! (crying to death)

"Really, this kind of humidity has caused me to suffer from rheumatism in my heart for my whole life. Whenever I see others in the bright sun, my rheumatism aches."

"I was invited to a friend's house for dinner during the holidays. I saw my friend and his parents joking with each other. I was really shocked. At the same time, I felt that I was ridiculous for being so shocked. I was like a voyeur watching such a healthy and loving family. I felt helpless and jealous."

. . . . .

Raymond Lam: "The above remarks are only for those children from ordinary families, who will not suffer any loss even if they are separated from their original families.

It's not suitable for the wealthy.
If you have a very large inheritance, you should not bother with them, just give in."

Hahahaha.

The heavy atmosphere was relieved by Lin Feng's joke.

Lin Feng: "Sister, I have given you all your doubts and answers. Your life has its own cause and effect, and I don't want to get involved.

This is also the reason why I only do sentiment analysis and don’t help people make decisions.

But for you,
I'm going to make an exception.

Now that you have been admitted to high school, I suggest you continue your studies.

Move out from home and live in the school dormitory.

I can take care of your boarding and tuition fees as well as your living expenses for the next three years.

You can think of it as a kind of financial aid for poor students.

You don't need to pay back the money, so there is no need to feel psychological pressure.

At the same time, I don’t have any requirements for your study life.

You can be at the top or at the bottom of the class.

I just want you to remember,
Your life is your own. Don't always say that you are the one who makes the decisions about your life. When you go back, someone else will make the decisions about your life.

For the past 15 years, your mother has been your master and your father has been your master.

Do you want me, a kind-hearted person, to be your boss from now on?
So sister,

Go ahead and try.

Think clearly about what kind of life you want, and then make your life what you want it to be."

Attached

[Military Advisor's Comments: For people whose original families are not good, being a little slower is already very good. Don't blame yourself.
Because when others are growing up, you are still stuck in the internal friction of your original family.

While others are working on their careers, you are still working on yourself.

Although those who climbed to the top of the mountain are impressive, the way you climbed up from the abyss step by step is also full of courage. 】

(End of this chapter)